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Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) - Family (7) - Nairaland

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My Horrible Experience When Living With A Relative. / Photos: Woman Brutally Beaten By Husband For Allegedly Greeting Her Pastor / Wife Raped By Brother-in-law (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by ronkebp(f): 8:40pm On Aug 17, 2012
dayokanu:

Are you saying some laws in the bible have been cancelled? or what exactly are you saying? These exact passages are in the new testament so what is the point?

The old testements law has been fullfilled by Christ....
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by dayokanu(m): 8:42pm On Aug 17, 2012
ronkebp:

The old testements law has been fullfilled by Christ....

But 1 Timothy, 1 Corinthians are all in the new Testament and after Christ
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freshdew: 8:47pm On Aug 17, 2012
Whn is supposed to be beaten and dehumanized.Both the lady and the girl's father were irrational and rash.They acted without restraint.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by ferhyntorlah(f): 9:08pm On Aug 17, 2012
obongtunji: For the woman, I will advise her not to say anything and for me as the husband I will return the useless girl to the family house and will seriously warn my family to stay away from my wife and make them know what soever my wife did they don't have the right to do anything to her without my consent and for my younger brother I will give him the beating of his life for raising his voice against my wife, to show my anger I will not communicate with them again. I know somebody reading this will condem me but it was writen the the man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one, any insult to my wife is also to me, but I trust my family they will not dare that nonsense.....lop

Guy, it's the elder brother that did the slapping.

Just make sure you lay down the rule of respect to your wife to your family and also let them see that you hold her in high esteem. If not, they will treat her like trash saying it is TRADITION!
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by ferhyntorlah(f): 9:13pm On Aug 17, 2012
freecocoa: My respect for him is maximum,he's what i call a real man,you need to see this man rocking\singing his boys to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night,he even tells me and the girl's mother to go back to sleep sometimes when we went for omugwo,he helps with the chore and still goes to work.

He's just great.

He is not just great! He is marvellous! Say me well to your cousin on my behalf for having such a rare man as soulmate.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by chidima: 9:56pm On Aug 17, 2012
Dis one na serious case oh. I will descend on his wife and give her serious beating. Then we are now even. After dat we fit settle if u want.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by avicky(f): 10:04pm On Aug 17, 2012
kulyie: D insult is just too much,if i was d lady dat got slapped,ill hire hefty able bodied soildiers or police to beat d living day light out of d man dat slapped me or get him locked up for assault,apart from dat my parents will fully b aware of d affront.can u imajine d insult,so because u are a woman u shud b insulted and psychologically abused.of course my parents will know d type of beast d family are,gosh.smh.thank God for jesus,education and enlightenment
GBAM! Exactly what i'll do if not worse.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by avicky(f): 10:06pm On Aug 17, 2012
U slap me in my husband's house., wo i'll pour pepper water on them, fling d girls things out of d house, use cutlass to threaten dem, then report to my parents & apologise to d idiots after i've satisfied myself.
Ha, they'll see white & call it black ni.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freecocoa(f): 11:02pm On Aug 17, 2012
ferhyntorlah:

He is not just great! He is marvellous! Say me well to your cousin on my behalf for having such a rare man as soulmate.
she'll most def hear it.wink
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by DeGenius3(m): 1:18am On Aug 18, 2012
its really unfortunate
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by amodaade: 5:52am On Aug 18, 2012
steph7: @ Jenny that's why some nigerian parents send their stubborn kids back to nigeria. @ sisikill, pls are you yoruba, if you are pls can you explain why my inlaws will tell me not to call my husbands junior brothers by their name, even if they are far my junior. Sorry for derailing. Also why wud I marry a man 10 years my senior and call him Sir.people say it is the yoruba tradition.
You are not allowed to call your BIL or SIL by name if he/she was born before you came into the family. All others born after you became a wife, you are free to call by name. It is just a sign of mutual respect that is being eroded by westernisation. However, a wife is allowed to discipline any child that was born after she got married to the family.

In this instance, if the wife is not much older than the niece that was smacked, it may be considered disrespectful. However, any reasonable/responsible man would not take that as an issue with his brother's wife. I can assure you there are other underlying factors responsible for his action. The OP should keep us informed about how the issue is resolved.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by Exponental(m): 6:03am On Aug 18, 2012
This forum is 2 small 2 resolve d issue. Many untold stories need 2 be unveiled.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by safarigirl(f): 9:35am On Aug 18, 2012
It amazes me that despite all of dayokanu's very intelligent arguement, some people are still adamant. The woman was wrong and that's just it, even in my family, only my parents are allowed to discipline me in any way, no relative or family friend has ever laid hands on any of us, and woe betide anybody that tried it. If na me, dem no born you well make you touch my pikin, we weren't even told wifey has a child, so she's probably dispensable, no be sey na small pikin she beat, a teenager, who probably is grown enough to be someone's wife if we were in the north, that's who you want to discipline, in fact at this point, BIL wasn't wrong, if the woman could beat up another person's child for disrespect, she can be beaten too, because she also disrespected the entire family by doing that. Before Abraham, Jesus was, that gurl was in the family before the woman, so the gurl is practically older than the woman in that family. If it's an Ibo family, I suggest the woman start calculating how much she'll spend on a goat and/or tubers of yam, because she MUST apologize to the entire family-including the small gurl she 'disciplined', if she wants to remain in the family.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by taryour(f): 9:52am On Aug 18, 2012
Beync: In Nigeria, how many of ur children calls on police when u shout @ them, even beat them up?
how many times has ur wife called police on u for battering her or even for isolating ur manly responsiblities @ home?
How men can take it when a woman relax in parlor and watch her fivorites sport channels etc while the man prepare food in the kitchen? what's wrong with these things,our culture isnt it?
Nonsense!! i dont get, it is that we cannot be honest and tell ouselves the truth? we have a conservative culture, we tend to have this we feelings. when it come to families we are supposed to be keepers. she only beat the girl and she did not kill her so what's the drama abt? the girl herself is rude and is not well brought up to have reported her aunty to her father instead of the husband if she was that hurt. In as much as it's wrong to maltreat any child it's not a crime to discipline a child who did wrong. No sane man should Slap another man's wife cos the woman disciplined a child. was there any bruis or cuts or was she beaten to coma to mean that she acted cruely to the girl? the man is not responsible at all. may be he used the avenue to avenge for something he has been nursing for the woman.

did someone say it's a taboo to beat a sister inlaw becos she is supposes to be a mother in law but she is free to insult and misbehave in my own house? to hell with that nonsense primitive taboo.

EOD...
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by jpphilips(m): 9:55am On Aug 18, 2012
kulyie: D insult is just too much,if i was d lady dat got slapped,ill hire hefty able bodied soildiers or police to beat d living day light out of d man dat slapped me or get him locked up for assault,apart from dat my parents will fully b aware of d affront.can u imajine d insult,so because u are a woman u shud b insulted and psychologically abused.of course my parents will know d type of beast d family are,gosh.smh.thank God for jesus,education and enlightenment


o boy!! nigerian soldiers with new job description
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freecocoa(f): 10:04am On Aug 18, 2012
safarigirl: It amazes me that despite all of dayokanu's very intelligent arguement, some people are still adamant. The woman was wrong and that's just it, even in my family, only my parents are allowed to discipline me in any way, no relative or family friend has ever laid hands on any of us, and woe betide anybody that tried it. If na me, dem no born you well make you touch my pikin, we weren't even told wifey has a child, so she's probably dispensable, no be sey na small pikin she beat, a teenager, who probably is grown enough to be someone's wife if we were in the north, that's who you want to discipline, in fact at this point, BIL wasn't wrong, if the woman could beat up another person's child for disrespect, she can be beaten too, because she also disrespected the entire family by doing that. Before Abraham, Jesus was, that gurl was in the family before the woman, so the gurl is practically older than the woman in that family. If it's an Ibo family, I suggest the woman start calculating how much she'll spend on a goat and/or tubers of yam, because she MUST apologize to the entire family-including the small gurl she 'disciplined', if she wants to remain in the family.
Which igbo family are you talking about please?the igbo in Naija abi is there another tribe called igbo in America?oh you wrote "ibo" so i guess its not the igbo i know.

But if it is,then please get your facts right before concluding,in the igbo culture i know we have an adage that says "oburo ofu onye na azu nwa" "no be one person dey train pikin",the pikin is yours when in the woman's stomach but once he is born,he's now a community child,many people help in the discipline and training process.

Of course things are not exactly the way the used to be but the above is still very much obtainable in the igbo culture,no real and responsible igbo man will flare up because you gave his kid a little spanking for misbehaving,the only scenario where a parent can get furious is if you beat the child mercilessly and without good reason,so don't say what's not true about igbo culture.

Nobody will penalize you for correcting a child in our culture biko.

1 Like

Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by drnoel: 10:42am On Aug 18, 2012
I have read all your posts and I thank everyone that contributed. I also thank those that shed some light on the various things obtainable in the igbo and youruba culture. People like freecocoa, jennykadry, dede1, to name a few. To add more facts, my cousin is delta igbo but his parents raised them all in Ibadan (so it kind of made his siblings used to the yoruba way of life). His wife is edo but was raised in enugu. Anyway the said family meeting has been set for friday or so. Hopefully I'd be able to shed more light on how things develope. Thanks again guys.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by safarigirl(f): 10:54am On Aug 18, 2012
freecocoa: Which igbo family are you talking about please?the igbo in Naija abi is there another tribe called igbo in America?oh you wrote "ibo" so i guess its not the igbo i know.

But if it is,then please get your facts right before concluding,in the igbo culture i know we have an adage that says "oburo ofu onye na azu nwa" "no be one person dey train pikin",the pikin is yours when in the woman's stomach but once he is born,he's now a community child,many people help in the discipline and training process.

Of course things are not exactly the way the used to be but the above is still very much obtainable in the igbo culture,no real and responsible igbo man will flare up because you gave his kid a little spanking for misbehaving,the only scenario where a parent can get furious is if you beat the child mercilessly and without good reason,so don't say what's not true about igbo culture.

Nobody will penalize you for correcting a child in our culture biko.
the same Ibo family states that, it's not only one man that has a wife, but the entire family, hence anybody has the right to correct the woman, even if it means slapping her. Would you all have been this mad if the gurl's mother had slapped the woman? No. Don't forget, you shouldn't do to another person's child what you wouldn't like to be done to yours. To whoever suggested that the gurl ought to have reported to her uncle, why didn't the woman wait to report to her husband before pouncing on his niece? The gurl's parents didn't send her there to suffer, the woman won't kick the gurl out, her parents will take her away, who said they're poor or begging her? You say the Nigerian culture permits spanking kids who go wrong, then the same culture permits any in-law to discipline an erring wife. Don't contradict yourself by mixing Nigerian and European culture just so it suits your belief. If I were the woman I'd have packed my bags that day and left that house cos it's apparent she hasn't been in their good books anyway, else BIL wouldn't have slapped without question.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by purpose100(f): 11:00am On Aug 18, 2012
drnoel: I have read all your posts and I thank everyone that contributed. I also thank those that shed some light on the various things obtainable in the igbo and youruba culture. People like freecocoa, jennykadry, dede1, to name a few. To add more facts, my cousin is delta igbo but his parents raised them all in Ibadan (so it kind of made his siblings used to the yoruba way of life). His wife is edo but was raised in enugu. Anyway the said family meeting has been set for friday or so. Hopefully I'd be able to shed more light on how things develope. Thanks again guys.


Op, pls tell me about "the Yoruba way of life".
Is it only Yoruba BIL that beat there brother's wife? Your family situation says otherwise. In fact, in Yoruba tradition, the amount of respect you dish out to your brother's wife shows the level of respect you have for your brother.

How can a man go to another man's house and beat the wife? I could not just understand!

But that your sister in-law den.se sha. She obviously needs tutorial. She needs to sharpen her reflex actions. As the man gave her the 1st slap, she should have responded immediately. Ok, now, what will be the end result? They will beg her,can u imagine? But if she have given the man 3 dirty slaps back immediately, the 2 of them would have been begging each other and it would have been a win-win thing.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by safarigirl(f): 11:09am On Aug 18, 2012
drnoel: I have read all your posts and I thank everyone that contributed. I also thank those that shed some light on the various things obtainable in the igbo and youruba culture. People like freecocoa, jennykadry, dede1, to name a few. To add more facts, my cousin is delta igbo but his parents raised them all in Ibadan (so it kind of made his siblings used to the yoruba way of life). His wife is edo but was raised in enugu. Anyway the said family meeting has been set for friday or so. Hopefully I'd be able to shed more light on how things develope. Thanks again guys.
She shall appease the family if she wants to remain there, I'm very familiar with Delta Ibo culture, my mum is from there. Those people don't take sh1t from anyone, and her being Edo doesn't help her situation, @ freecocoa, this one, I know. In fact, she's very lucky it was the gurl's father, cos if it was a woman, she'd have been in ICU by now.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freecocoa(f): 11:23am On Aug 18, 2012
safarigirl: the same Ibo family states that, it's not only one man that has a wife, but the entire family, hence anybody has the right to correct the woman, even if it means slapping her. Would you all have been this mad if the gurl's mother had slapped the woman? No. Don't forget, you shouldn't do to another person's child what you wouldn't like to be done to yours. To whoever suggested that the gurl ought to have reported to her uncle, why didn't the woman wait to report to her husband before pouncing on his niece? The gurl's parents didn't send her there to suffer, the woman won't kick the gurl out, her parents will take her away, who said they're poor or begging her? You say the Nigerian culture permits spanking kids who go wrong, then the same culture permits any in-law to discipline an erring wife. Don't contradict yourself by mixing Nigerian and European culture just so it suits your belief. If I were the woman I'd have packed my bags that day and left that house cos it's apparent she hasn't been in their good books anyway, else BIL wouldn't have slapped without question.
I don't know how you understand this whole issue my dear sister but you are mixing up things here.

How do you equate spanking a child that was rude to slapping someone's wife?ha this one tire me o,how am i contradicting myself?my point is as straight as can be,its not a crime to spank an erring child and the woman is not in the wrong here if she only spanked the child and not beat her mercilessly,i don't know what else to say sef,this issue has sure been over flogged.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by Nobody: 11:53am On Aug 18, 2012
@ free cocoa , I tire too oh! Someone is housing, feeding and probably clothing you and you still deem it fit to be rude to that person. SMH.@ safari girl a 14 year old (a minor) is old enough to be someone's wife ? Hmmm na wa oh!infact a sensible man would have told his daugther to apologise to his brother's wife and told the brother's wife that he didn't appreciate her beating his daugther. Simple instead of behaving like an animal
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by bournvita: 12:02pm On Aug 18, 2012
Arrrgggg, I think Spambot's banned my Jennykadry ID. Anyways, this is my backup ID.

I hope this videos convince a lot of people that some kids need to be disciplined.

Imagine a kid threatening to slap his mum. Cheeiiiiiiiii angry angry angry angry undecided


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BklXTjQuWVs&feature=related
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freecocoa(f): 12:03pm On Aug 18, 2012
@ Steph7. No be small thing o,its just really shocking the way some people see things. A 14 years old kid whom i'm seen as her guardian misbehaves and i'm supposed to go get her parents to discipline her? Why the hell am i the one responsible for her upkeep then?if they don't want someone correcting their child then the should as hell keep the girl in their house,assuming that girl goes out and gets involved in one trouble or another,isn't the woman the one who will be called upon first before the girls parents? Its just really shocking.

2 Likes

Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by bournvita: 12:03pm On Aug 18, 2012
Another kid slapped his mum. Seriously why did I go look for these videos angry angry angry angry


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U5R4KzHHNA&feature=related
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by bournvita: 12:09pm On Aug 18, 2012
safarigirl: She shall appease the family if she wants to remain there, I'm very familiar with Delta Ibo culture, my mum is from there. Those people don't take sh1t from anyone, and her being Edo doesn't help her situation, @ freecocoa, this one, I know. In fact, she's very lucky it was the gurl's father, cos if it was a woman, she'd have been in ICU by now.

What is this one saying?

2 Likes

Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freecocoa(f): 12:15pm On Aug 18, 2012
^grin grin grin

Ike gwuru o.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by drnoel: 12:38pm On Aug 18, 2012
safarigirl: She shall appease the family if she wants to remain there, I'm very familiar with Delta Ibo culture, my mum is from there. Those people don't take sh1t from anyone, and her being Edo doesn't help her situation, @ freecocoa, this one, I know. In fact, she's very lucky it was the gurl's father, cos if it was a woman, she'd have been in ICU by now.

Tell me about it. What u say is true cos I married from there and half of my family is delta igbo. My dad is Imo. Anyway what eva happens there on friday will tell. I am definitely behinde my cousin's wife and most people on my side of the family are also except my dad. I believe when we are finished with our elder cousin, he would think twice about slapping aother woman. 4 God sake it could have been my wife that he slapped (God 4bid).

purpose100:

Op, pls tell me about "the Yoruba way of life".
Is it only Yoruba BIL that beat there brother's wife? Your family situation says otherwise. In fact, in Yoruba tradition, the amount of respect you dish out to your brother's wife shows the level of respect you have for your brother.

How can a man go to another man's house and beat the wife? I could not just understand!

But that your sister in-law den.se sha. She obviously needs tutorial. She needs to sharpen her reflex actions. As the man gave her the 1st slap, she should have responded immediately. Ok, now, what will be the end result? They will beg her,can u imagine? But if she have given the man 3 dirty slaps back immediately, the 2 of them would have been begging each other and it would have been a win-win thing.

I just meant that my cousin was able to show respect and not defy all by rushing to his brother's house. He always had this strong sense of respect he must have inculcated cos he lived all his life in ibadan. Thats all I meant.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freecocoa(f): 12:56pm On Aug 18, 2012
drnoel:

Tell me about it. What u say is true cos I married from there and half of my family is delta igbo. My dad is Imo. Anyway what eva happens there on friday will tell. I am definitely behinde my cousin's wife and most people on my side of the family are also except my dad. I believe when we are finished with our elder cousin, he would think twice about slapping aother woman. 4 God sake it could have been my wife that he slapped (God 4bid).



I just meant that my cousin was able to show respect and not defy all by rushing to his brother's house. He always had this strong sense of respect he must have inculcated cos he lived all his life in ibadan. Thats all I meant.
I was thinking to just wait till after the meeting to know the outcome of the whole thing but my curiosity no gree me.

Please why is your father against the woman?(I'm asking cos its rare to see an Igbo man in support of a kid being rude to elders)there are just so many issues involved in this case,i guess its coming out gradually,its obvious not everyone supports the marrying of that woman abi did the woman beat the girl mercilessly?
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by safarigirl(f): 1:02pm On Aug 18, 2012
bournvita:

What is this one saying?
You mustn't insult or degrade people just because they disagree with you. . This is why you got banned, before I know it, you'll be flinging words like 'bytch' and 'wh0re' my way. If you know something about Delta Ibo tradition that I don't, say so, if not, hold your peace. For those who think spanking is the only way to correct a child, it can go 2 ways, most kids get used to spanking, or you think most of those agberos in Mushin and Oshodi weren't disciplined? If you like, flog your kids with tree branches, kill them even, when the tree branches fail, cos as everyone knows, children are nothing but wild animals who can only be corrected by flogging.
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by bournvita: 1:03pm On Aug 18, 2012
safarigirl: You mustn't insult or degrade people just because they disagree with you. . This is why you got banned, before I know it, you'll be flinging words like 'bytch' and 'wh0re' my way. If you know something about Delta Ibo tradition that I don't, say so, if not, hold your peace. For those who think spanking is the only way to correct a child, it can go 2 ways, most kids get used to spanking, or you think most of those agberos in Mushin and Oshodi weren't disciplined? If you like, flog your kids with tree branches, kill them even, when the tree branches fail, cos as everyone knows, children are nothing but wild animals who can only be corrected by flogging.

What is this one saying? Freecoco, please translate. undecided
Re: Relative´s Spouse Beaten By Brother-in-law (story continud) by freecocoa(f): 1:12pm On Aug 18, 2012
bournvita:

What is this one saying? Freecoco, please translate. undecided
grin grin grin

Me gan sef no really understand what she said o,maybe if i read it like 5 times over i may get something out of it,but unfortunately i don't have that kind of time.undecided

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