The. same thing is happening around me...infact I'm seeing ur story live where I am now. My brothers wife is leaving with us. Tho my broda is soon to get his own house. But my mum is now complaining that my brother's wife (despite the fact that she's pregnant) doesn't help her in the kitchen..that it's not a good behavior of a good wife. Note: my mum is not one of those wicked mother in-laws. But simple African. culture dictates that a wife cook for her husband. All this modernization u pple are talkin abt is outright trash. If she can't cook for her husband she should go back to her fathers house.

Marriage is not and never was a fair or balanced rrangement.As women get empowered through employment and education more marriages will fail.That is the "industrial" way. If you want to see a successful marriage in Africa you want to see a woman who is willing to be a Housegirl. That is the bitter truth.

Ultimately the aim is to have children and maybe soon we will be having 10 or 15 year marriage contracts

aribisala0: Marriage is not and never was a fair or balanced rrangement.As women get empowered through employment and education more marriages will fail.That is the "industrial" way. If you want to see a successful marriage in Africa you want to see a woman who is willing to be a Housegirl. That is the bitter truth.

Ultimately the aim is to have children and maybe soon we will be having 10 or 15 year marriage contracts

That's the painful truth

aribisala0: Marriage is not and never was a fair or balanced rrangement.As women get empowered through employment and education more marriages will fail.That is the "industrial" way. If you want to see a successful marriage in Africa you want to see a woman who is willing to be a Housegirl. That is the bitter truth.

Ultimately the aim is to have children and maybe soon we will be having 10 or 15 year marriage contracts

Bitter but true

12 inches!:
The. same thing is happening around me...infact I'm seeing ur story live where I am now. My brothers wife is leaving with us. Tho my broda is soon to get his own house. [b]But my mum is now complaining that my brother's wife (despite the fact that she's pregnant) doesn't help her in the kitchen..that it's not a good behavior of a good wife. [/b]Note: my mum is not one of those wicked mother in-laws. But simple African. culture dictates that a wife cook for her husband. All this modernization u pple are talkin abt is outright trash. If she can't cook for her husband she should go back to her fathers house.

And you openly admit this on a public forum? Abeg cover your face, you nor get shame.

@ OP, If your hubby is a good man, don't let something as ridiculous as chores come in the way of a good relationship and in defence of your MIL, you don't know what he's told or might be telling her.

i8millar:

And you openly admit this on a public forum? Abeg cover your face, you nor get shame.

@ OP, If your hubby is a good man, don't let something as ridiculous as chores come in the way of a good relationship and in defence of your MIL, you don't know what he's told or might be telling her.

What is a good man?

i dont know why girls always love to beef themselves

I dont know why wives hate MILs

I dont know why wives love to create problems when there is non

I dont why wives love to read meaning to all stuffs

In the first place I wouldn't allow my wife to work in a place where she will come back home that late. That alone shows that ur husband is the understanding type. Hold am well o, my sister. Husband dey scarce outside.

Tundeiab: In the first place I wouldn't allow my wife to work in a place where she will come back home that late. That alone shows that ur husband is the understanding type. Hold am well o, my sister. Husband dey scarce outside.

Understanding or controlling?

The issue that renting is a waste of money. That is not true. That many in Africa have this mentality that owning a house is best, is not necessarily true. There are advantages to either.

Join him to eat at his mother's kitchen, the woman go get tired and pursue una to Ur house. There he will not go there again to eat.

eyen nyin: Join him to eat at his mother's kitchen, the woman go get tired and pursue una to Ur house. There he will not go there again to eat.

ROFLMAO!! Not a bad idea!

Kobojunkie: The issue that renting is a waste of money. That is not true. That many in Africa have this mentality that owning a house is best, is not necessarily true. There are advantages to either.

Dont say its African mentality. In UK all of them want to have mortgage which is owing a house. Dont say its not necessary its one of the asset one should have.

babseg:

Dont say its African mentality. In UK all of them want to have mortgage which is owing a house. Dont say its not necessary its one of the asset one should have.

Africa is not the UK. So let those in the UK who can afford a mortgage go for it. But in Africa where rental prices is at a serious low, the mentality is wrong. In Africa, renting makes so much more sense than it does in UK. So again, let's engage our brains a bit more.

I was shocked to read that I can still get a good 2 bedroom for less than N300,000K per annum, that is ridiculous low when compared to anywhere else in the world.

As to assets, majority of those who own land in Africa are poor. They cannot even afford to feed themselves but they own houses. How does that make sense? What good is that asset if at the end of the day, these same are unable to pay for food or healthcare?

Kobojunkie:

Africa is not the UK. So let those in the UK who can afford a mortgage go for it. But in Africa where rental prices is at a serious low, the mentality is wrong. In Africa, renting makes so much more sense than it does in UK. So again, let's engage our brains a bit more.

I was shocked to read that I can still get a good 2 bedroom for less than N300,000K per annum, that is ridiculous low when compared to anywhere else in the world.

As to assets, majority of those who own land in Africa are poor. They cannot even afford to feed themselves but they own houses. How does that make sense? What good is that asset if at the end of the day, these same are unable to pay for food or healthcare?

I dont like to change topic I agree with you but if you can build a house in Nigeria just do it and stop paying 300k/annum. That money can be used for something else.

Thanks

babseg:

I dont like to change topic I agree with you but if you can build a house in Nigeria just do it and stop paying 300k/annum. That money can be used for something else.

Thanks

Again, what I said is paying rent makes sense in Nigeria. To build a house in the same Nigeria, you need so much more than 10 years of rent(At least 20 years of salary in some cases) to do that, in many places, which, to me, sort of defeats the purpose. Many of those who do own property are themselves unable to provide elsewhere. So rather than making it seem as if renting is terrible choice, society should encourage people to rent more, and build less. Most of the houses built down there depreciate in value overtime. Houses don't really work as an asset per say when you consider the state many of them are kept in. So renting is great for those who want to be able to live and provide for themselves.

It all depends, some of the medium cost houses sold by TINUBU's govt less than a decade ago for 2 milion now sell for 4 and rent for 2-350 000 a year, a payback period of less than 12 years plus the Freehold of the plot. In fact after the first round they struggled to sell many in some areas but the rate of population growth in Lagos is astounding. . These houses are built in estates with good drainage gutters and excellent roads. I have visited a few and they are great if you envision the layout with all the buildings demolished which will happen eventually. SOME BUYERS DID JUST THAT NOW. The buildings are nothing to shout about but the land is always increasing in value particularly in Lagos. The trouble is 2 million NAIRA is beyond the means of most but for those who HAVE it it is a winner. This is particularly so in the suburbs of Ikorodu ,Epe and Badagry where land value has risen from 10000 NAIRA less than 20 years ago to a million or more in many instances outpacing inflation By several factors. This is likeLY to be the case in Ogun state over 30 years and younger people able to invest with such horizons in mind should participate.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE THE CASH THAT IS.

Well, those days of cheap land are somehow behind Nigeria. The new reality is that most properties are worth so much less than the land they are sitting on. No matter where you live, seems renting still makes more sense in most everywhere Nigeria.

Cheap is a relative construct an depends on your investment horizon/age and knowledge. There is still plenty of cheap land in Lagos state IMO particularly in Epe and Badagry. This is Equally true for Ogun state. Land in Epe or nearby Ketu NOT (MILE ! KETU) is still under 500000 and if you are buying up to 100 units under 300000 unbelievable but TRUE as at JUly. Less than 30 mins fro the Free trade Zone and I would rather live .
in Epe than Lekki
Assuming a property is worth less than the land it sits on then that is indeed a good thing! It is treated as a depreciating asset amortized over a set life span and liquidated.The land is the REAL asset so that is an added advantage even. It is MORE BETTER one might say!!
There are different versions of "sense". It may make one kind of sense to rent and AT THE SAME TIME invest in property. So I may own a property and consider that I PERSONALLY cannot afford to live in it just like those who kill bushmea and sell it but cannot afford to eat it so "SENSE" is multidimensional

whether you like it or not,whether it makes sense or not,owning a house is considered a major achievement in Nigeria and that's what most people strive to achieve.
You can blame it on people's mentality or blame it on society but that's what it is!

aribisala0: Cheap is a relative construct an depends on your investment horizon/age and knowledge. There is still plenty of cheap land in Lagos state IMO particularly in Epe and Badagry. This is Equally true for Ogun state. Land in Epe or nearby Ketu NOT (MILE 12 KETU) is still under 500000 and if you are buying up to 100 units under 300000 unbelievable but TRUE as at JUly. Less than 30 mins fro the Free trade Zone and I would rather live in Epe than Lekki

I disagree with your statement that "Cheap is a relative construct an depends on your investment horizon/age and knowledge". When you consider the average wage in Nigeria, it does not take one with a high school diploma to realize that land price is not cheap at all. From villages in out nowhere Northern Nigeria to south swamp lands, land price has gone above the reach of the average individual.

Average monthly Salary is still about Naira 18,000. To someone on that, Naira 300,000 is still years of wages, and just for the land here, no building included.

slimyem: whether you like it or not,whether it makes sense or not,owning a house is considered a major achievement in Nigeria and that's what most people strive to achieve.
You can blame it on people's mentality or blame it on society but that's what it is!

If your life is about "It is what it is", I bet you would not leave Nigeria at all. The idea is a mentality can be and should be changed for the betterment of the people. Yes the overwhelming majority believe that it is an achievement but in reality, or in Naira sense, it really is not.

Kobojunkie:

I disagree with your statement that "Cheap is a relative construct an depends on your investment horizon/age and knowledge". When you consider the average wage in Nigeria, it does not take one with a high school diploma to realize that land price is not cheap at all. From villages in out nowhere Northern Nigeria to south swamp lands, land price has gone above the reach of the average individual.

Average monthly Salary is still about Naira 18,000. To someone on that, Naira 300,000 is still years of wages, and just for the land here, no building included.

Cheapis always relative and property ownership is NOT for everyone.Accessible to average is a definition of cheap not the only one.I wondered how long it would take before the irritability/endocrine breakthrough

"High school diploma"?? tut tut . I don't have one and so cheapness is a blind spot for me I'm afraid
Ever since man started forming countries Land was NEVER within the reach of the average individual

aribisala0:
Cheapis always relative and property ownership is NOT for everyone.Accessible to average is a definition of cheap not the only one.I wondered how long it would take before the irritability/endocrine breakthrough

"High school diploma"?? tut tut . I don't have one and so cheapness is a blind spot for me I'm afraid
Ever since man started forming countries Land was NEVER within the reach of the average individual

Yes, home ownership is not for everyone but that does not negate the fact that in the Nigerian society, it is considered an essential. Remember, we are talking of the Nigerian society here and not some foreign Nation.

Cheap, again is not relative, when you are talking of basic resources like housing, land ownership in a society where if I will quote @Slimyam "owning a house is considered a major achievement". it becomes relative when you consider luxury goods of which land ownership in Nigeria is not considered one. We are talking of cars, boats, etc.

It is considered paramount by a SEGMENT OF SOCIETY just like every where else there is always a MAJORITY UNDERCLASS in that respect Nigeria is not UNIGUE. Property ownership everywhere is pyramidal. ALL Nigerian cities eg Lagos Aba Benin etc is inhabited in the main by TENANTS and NOT homeowners. MOST Nigerians NEVER own homes and so "paramount" is only aspirational. Nigeria is the same as India or Britain. I am not aware of evidence that Swedes or anyone else revels in their status as tenants all humans like many other animals are territorial by instinct

aribisala0: It is cosidered paramount by a SEGMENT OF SOCIETY just like every where else there is always a MAJORITY UNDERCLASS in that respect Nigeria is not UNIGUE. Property ownership everywhere is pyramidal. ALL Nigerian cities eg Lagos Aba Benin etc is inhabited in the main by TENANTS and NOT homeowners. MOST Nigerians NEVER own homes and so "paramount" is only aspirational. Nigeria is the same as India or Britain. I am not aware of evidence that Swedes or anyone else revels in their status as tenants all humans like many other animals are territorial by instinct

Your first statement is a lie. So I cannot consider the rest worth as a result. There is no minority when it comes to Landownership being considered paramount in Nigeria. Most every culture in that nation essentially considers a man, not a man if he does not own property at all. So, why do you think you can get away with that lie?

This is a truth from Northern disconnected villages to the southern swamps. Even the government believes it so that it considers land sharing part of it's benefits package to it's workers. Why would you now pretend only a segment of the society sees this as the case? That is dishonest.

Kobojunkie:

Your first statement is a lie. So it is not possible to consider the rest worth considering. That is no minority when it comes to Landownership being paramount in Nigeria. Most every culture in that nation essentially considers a man, not a man if he does not own property at all. So, why do you think you can get away with that lie?

I make my exit when the exchange degenerates to us calling each other liars. I hear what you say but see things differently

Nigerian women and thier MIL wahala.
Your are lucky he is eating your MIL's food.
If your hubby is not in your MIL's place, he Will be eating outside.
Do you think your hubby Will continue to cook forever? NEVER.
Better let MAMA rest and face your family.

slimyem: whether you like it or not,whether it makes sense or not,owning a house is considered a major achievement in Nigeria and that's what most people strive to achieve.
You can blame it on people's mentality or blame it on society but that's what it is!

Abi o my sister

Kobojunkie:

Your first statement is a lie. So it is not possible to consider the rest worth considering. That is no minority when it comes to Landownership being paramount in Nigeria. Most every culture in that nation essentially considers a man, not a man if he does not own property at all. So, why do you think you can get away with that lie?

I make my exit when the exchange degenerates to us calling each other liars. my experience is that less than 1% of people own land so that means\very few people are considered men but I was referring,as I pointed out,to what Economists call EFFECTIVE DEMAND. This is the same Worldwide
I hear what you say but see things differently. The floor is all yours as I am sure you will relish the last word

aribisala0:

I make my exit when the exchange degenerates to us calling each other liars. my experience is that less than 1% of people own land so that means\very few people are considered men but I was referring,as I pointed out,to what Economists call EFFECTIVE DEMAND. This is the same Worldwide
I hear what you say but see things differently. The floor is all yours as I am sure you will relish the last word

Fine, exit but that statement is a lie. Simple!

Now you claim that your experience is less than 1% of Nigerians own land? Where did you get that number from in a country where it is claimed that about 37% of the people own their homes i.e are land owners?

Ujujoan:

I don't quite get it!

A man boiling white rice for himself (while wifey is working to provide financial support for the man) and micro-waving the already made stew in the freezer somehow diminishes the 'importance' of a wife

It's the same way that women like to flaunt their gold jewelries and brand new cars which their hubbies bought for them. But does a man being unable to buy these things diminish his worth as a husband?

9ja men sha. . . .

Me sef just dey wonder too. This cooking of a thing, this chore of a thing, since when did it become one's sole responsibility? Am just wondering. Still thinking. However, I believe that cooperation between the two partners can drive the union. I know of someone, a man, who finds pleasure in cooking for the house even when the wife is at home and sometimes, when the food is ready, you can hardly tell who made which.