As a society, we place great emphasis on finding “the one.” We pressure ourselves to find the perfect lifemate for ourselves. Often, this process can be nerve-racking in itself. However, what happens when a relationship ends?
Our thinking will dictate how we feel about, and ultimately cope with, a breakup, as well as any other occurrencesin our lives. Irrational thoughts and beliefs that cause us to feelhopeless or depressed about ourbreakup can be replaced with more rational ones. This will make the ending of a relationship feel much more bearable.

What exactly is going on here

Who called my name

Irrational Thought: “I can’t live without this person. I need them in my life!”
Rational Replacement Thought: “I can live without thisperson. There are definitely things I need in order to live, likeair, food, and water. I do not need this person to stay alive. Sure, I miss them, but my life willnot end if they are not in it, and I do not need them.”


Irrational Thought: “My life has no meaning without my partner.”
Rational Replacement Thought: “My relationship was merely one meaningful aspect of my life. There are many ways for my life to have meaning, and my relationship is not the only way to achieve that meaning. My work, my family, my friends, and ___________ all bring meaning to my life.”


Irrational Thought: “I am no longer me without my partner.”
Rational Replacement Thought: “I have always been myself. Nothing can change that I am me, just like I cannot change who others are. It is possible that I may have simply lost sightof some of my interests outside of my relationship, but these can be regained.”


Irrational Thought: “I can’t weather the ending of my relationship. I would rather die. There is nothing to live for anymore.”
Rational Replacement Thought: “It isn’t a matter of wanting to die. It is a matter of wanting my partner back. I can and will survive this. There are plenty of things to live for. For example, I have my friends, my family, my pet, my meaningful job, etc. I have merely experienced a sudden life change, and I have all of these other things to live for. I refuse to let one negative life experience cancel out all of the other good that I have in my life.”

Irrational Thought: “There must be something wrong with me if my partner left me.”
Rational Replacement Thought: “There is nothing wrong with me. My partner and Iending our relationship is not a reflection of my character or overall worth. This situation simply means that might not have seen eye-to-eye on things.There is someone else out therewho I will be compatible with.”


Irrational Thought: “I will walk the Earth alone for the rest of my life and I will never meet anyone else.”
Rational Replacement Thought: “There is no evidence to say that I will never find another partner. One failed relationship does not foreshadow future failed relationships. The only thing my ended relationship means is that we were not as compatible as we thought. There are plenty of other people out there who things might work out with. It is just a matter of finding them.”

Irrational Thought: “I can’t be alone.”
Rational Replacement Tho ught: “I can manage being alone, although it might be uncomfortable. The fact that I am single at this very moment indicates that I can be alone. I am doing it and nothing bad has happened, aside from being uncomfortable. Sure, I’d certainly like to not be alone right now, but I will live. After all, this is only temporary.”

Sighs

The ending of a relationship is anenormous life change. It will taketime, patience, and practice in order for successful adjustment to take place. We often experience the belief that, if something feels foreign or wrong, then it must, in fact, be wrong. Due to the emotional involvement that characterizes romantic relationships, there will undoubtedly be times when life without this person feels wrong or “funny,” but this does not mean that it truly is, or that you are doing something wrong. Feelings such as these do not indicate that you cannot managethe separation. What they do mean, however, is that you are adjusting. Imagine swinging a baseball bat or golf club in the hand that is not your dominant one (the one you have been using your whole life). It would take practice to become used tothis process but, in time, you would grow to be more skillful atit. With practice, you will better able to adjust to life after your breakup.

This one don pass me

What a load of poo