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I Dey Vex - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: I Dey Vex by armyofone(m): 12:16am On Sep 24, 2012
set a boundary.
Re: I Dey Vex by ifyalways(f): 12:37am On Sep 24, 2012
Choi, odunnu! You came here to open my dry nyash? Come carry your okirika laptop.

We're leaving first thing @ dawn.lekwa nkpari.

1 Like

Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 1:12am On Sep 24, 2012
ifyalways: Choi, odunnu! You came here to open my dry nyash? Come carry your okirika laptop.

We're leaving first thing @ dawn.lekwa nkpari.

?
Re: I Dey Vex by tpia5: 3:23am On Sep 24, 2012
rubbish.
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 4:06am On Sep 24, 2012
Mschewwww @Topic if you weren't one of my favourites on here, I would have said things that will make you hate me.

They tied the mouth of you and your husband abi? I dislike pretenders and some Nigerians are talented in that area. You are dying instead of you to speak up, you are busy pretending all is well and carrying a grudge. This thread should be deleted Abeg. What a Waste of time and space.
Re: I Dey Vex by Odunnu: 4:45am On Sep 24, 2012
Weh rey ya nwayo JK cheesy
@all : its okay. Today is the tomorrow I was waiting for yesterday. In a split second, everything will be fine.

I didnt talk to my husband because he would have reacted like you all and maybe, worse sef and that would have hurt me. I have learnt my lessons.
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 5:33am On Sep 24, 2012
jennykadry: Mschewwww @Topic if you weren't one of my favourites on here, I would have said things that will make you hate me.

They tied the mouth of you and your husband abi? I dislike pretenders and some Nigerians are talented in that area. You are dying instead of you to speak up, you are busy pretending all is well and carrying a grudge. This thread should be deleted Abeg. What a Waste of time and space.
Nigerians could be pretenders in that area, especially my ppl - Yoruba

But with maturity, comes some level of politics. You hv to be diplomatic especially when it's family
Re: I Dey Vex by EfemenaXY: 5:52am On Sep 24, 2012
^^ The spongers in question here aren't family. They're strangers.

More like stray cats from the sound of it...
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 5:52am On Sep 24, 2012
Shollypopz:
Nigerians could be pretenders in that area, especially my ppl - Yoruba

But with maturity, comes some level of politics. You hv to be diplomatic especially when it's family

Odunnu Is Igbo. I don't like it when people pretend like everything is okay but it isn't. I had to read the topic well to be sure it was odunnu that opened the thread and not one yeye attention seeking woman, imagine the shock when I realised it was really her.

In real life I don't make friends with people that cannot speak up, neither do I keep pretenders as friends. Maybe it is the way I was brought up but even my brothers were advised by our father to marry a woman that is very open, someone that speaks Her mind when she wants to because that kind of woman will hardly ever keep a grudge and they would know where they stand with her when she is pissed off because she will tell ten fair and square. Not a woman that will tell them everything is okay even when she is dying inside, he(my father) said that such a woman can pour hot oil on the man in the middle of the night.


...and lastly, they are not even family so which diplomacy should she apply here?
Re: I Dey Vex by EfemenaXY: 5:59am On Sep 24, 2012
Odunnu, are you going to speak with that woman today?

Or are you going to be all "smiles" and let it slide - again??
Re: I Dey Vex by Johndoe100(m): 6:09am On Sep 24, 2012
Odunnu, I sympathize with your plight, however suffering in silence is a form of self torture. Speak your mind and be happy.
Re: I Dey Vex by Johndoe100(m): 6:11am On Sep 24, 2012
You had a father? shocked shocked shocked


jennykadry:

Odunnu Is Igbo. I don't like it when people pretend like everything is okay but it isn't. I had to read the topic well to be sure it was odunnu that opened the thread and not one yeye attention seeking woman, imagine the shock when I realised it was really her.

In real life I don't make friends with people that cannot speak up, neither do I keep pretenders as friends. Maybe it is the way I was brought up but even my brothers were advised by our father to marry a woman that is very open, someone that speaks Her mind when she wants to because that kind of woman will hardly ever keep a grudge and they would know where they stand with her when she is pissed off because she will tell ten fair and square. Not a woman that will tell them everything is okay even when she is dying inside, he(my father) said that such a woman can pour hot oil on the man in the middle of the night.


...and lastly, they are not even family so which diplomacy should she apply here?
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 6:15am On Sep 24, 2012
jennykadry:

Odunnu Is Igbo. I don't like it when people pretend like everything is okay but it isn't. I had to read the topic well to be sure it was odunnu that opened the thread and not one yeye attention seeking woman, imagine the shock when I realised it was really her.

In real life I don't make friends with people that cannot speak up, neither do I keep pretenders as friends. Maybe it is the way I was brought up but even my brothers were advised by our father to marry a woman that is very open, someone that speaks Her mind when she wants to because that kind of woman will hardly ever keep a grudge and they would know where they stand with her when she is pissed off because she will tell ten fair and square. Not a woman that will tell them everything is okay even when she is dying inside, he(my father) said that such a woman can pour hot oil on the man in the middle of the night.


...and lastly, they are not even family so which diplomacy should she apply here?
I never said Odunnu is Yoruba undecided Nobody likes pretenders, but there are situations whereby d truth has to be stylishly conveyed. I see it as a good thing that they find her house that comfortable. Me sef I grew up screaming I'm real, I say it as it is!! In real life though, as u grow up u find out that this does not always work. U'll just keep gathering enemies. U hv to learn to tolerate ppl.
We can clearly see dat the ppl involved here lack the sense of boundary or just common sense in total.

Wasn't it her family member that introduced her to the pastor's wife?? Don't u think it's d family member that said she could go ahead and ask Odunnu for shelter?? If I were Odunnu, I'll simply tell the woman playfully to tell me days earlier anytime she wants to come, so I can prepare for her properly. Tell her u like making them comfortable. Next time when they come, stylishly make some areas in ur house inaccessible to them. Odunnu can hv her quiet time and still provide help to them.
Re: I Dey Vex by Odunnu: 10:24am On Sep 24, 2012
Shollypopz:
I never said Odunnu is Yoruba undecided Nobody likes pretenders, but there are situations whereby d truth has to be stylishly conveyed. I see it as a good thing that they find her house that comfortable. Me sef I grew up screaming I'm real, I say it as it is!! In real life though, as u grow up u find out that this does not always work. U'll just keep gathering enemies. U hv to learn to tolerate ppl.
We can clearly see dat the ppl involved here lack the sense of boundary or just common sense in total.

Wasn't it her family member that introduced her to the pastor's wife?? Don't u think it's d family member that said she could go ahead and ask Odunnu for shelter?? If I were Odunnu, I'll simply tell the woman playfully to tell me days earlier anytime she wants to come, so I can prepare for her properly. Tell her u like making them comfortable. Next time when they come, stylishly make some areas in ur house inaccessible to them. Odunnu can hv her quiet time and still provide help to them.
This about summarises my position in all this.
@JK, so if a newbie asks you in confidence to say what you know about Odunnu online, that i'm a pretender would be listed. Now, thats not fair. In life we have to bend so many times just to make room for some.
Not everybody we relate with make use of their common sense using her as an example.
They will come again I am so sure of that but I promise, they wont spend the night in my home. I agree I allowed them task my patience, thats the most they will ever be able to do ever again.
Re: I Dey Vex by friedmeat: 10:54am On Sep 24, 2012
jennykadry:

Odunnu Is Igbo. I don't like it when people pretend like everything is okay but it isn't. I had to read the topic well to be sure it was odunnu that opened the thread and not one yeye attention seeking woman, imagine the shock when I realised it was really her.

In real life I don't make friends with people that cannot speak up, neither do I keep pretenders as friends. Maybe it is the way I was brought up but even my brothers were advised by our father to marry a woman that is very open, someone that speaks Her mind when she wants to because that kind of woman will hardly ever keep a grudge and they would know where they stand with her when she is pissed off because she will tell ten fair and square. Not a woman that will tell them everything is okay even when she is dying inside, he(my father) said that such a woman can pour hot oil on the man in the middle of the night.

The world hates real ppl but loves and praises pretenders. I can tell you,OP is in their good book because she pretended to them as if everything was ok.

...and lastly, they are not even family so which diplomacy should she apply here?
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 11:03am On Sep 24, 2012
Odunnu:
This about summarises my position in all this.
@JK, so if a newbie asks you in confidence to say what you know about Odunnu online, that i'm a pretender would be listed. Now, thats not fair. In life we have to bend so many times just to make room for some.
Not everybody we relate with make use of their common sense using her as an example.
They will come again I am so sure of that but I promise, they wont spend the night in my home. I agree I allowed them task my patience, thats the most they will ever be able to do ever again.
Are you or are you not acting like its all okay, yet you are hurt by her actions?
When something bothers you, say it, the other person knows it and adjusts, when they dont then there is a problem. Simple,we can go on and on but this is the crux of the matter. take it or leave it
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 11:12am On Sep 24, 2012
Shollypopz:
I never said Odunnu is Yoruba undecided Nobody likes pretenders, but there are situations whereby d truth has to be stylishly conveyed. I see it as a good thing that they find her house that comfortable. Me sef I grew up screaming I'm real, I say it as it is!! In real life though, as u grow up u find out that this does not always work. U'll just keep gathering enemies. U hv to learn to tolerate ppl.
We can clearly see dat the ppl involved here lack the sense of boundary or just common sense in total.

Wasn't it her family member that introduced her to the pastor's wife?? Don't u think it's d family member that said she could go ahead and ask Odunnu for shelter?? If I were Odunnu, I'll simply tell the woman playfully to tell me days earlier anytime she wants to come, so I can prepare for her properly. Tell her u like making them comfortable. Next time when they come, stylishly make some areas in ur house inaccessible to them. Odunnu can hv her quiet time and still provide help to them.

The world is as it is right now because we are trying to please everybody. The only mortal people I am answerable to are: my parents, my husband, my clients and my children. Why are we so scared of our fellow human being? tell her playfully? Wich part of, this is my house and my rule must be abided to? Tis is the way women invite witches and wizards into their homes and then go on their knees to ask God silly questions. Even my own father informs us when he is visiting how much more, a non relative?

The way you are telling her to go is the way of a coward and please I do not mean this as an insult. It is only a coward that will keep quiet whilst they are burning and dying inside and instead of telling people how we feel, we are busy dying inside and at the same time massaging their bald heads. Tell me if this is the life a Christian should live? A life of pretense all in the name of offering help even when you are dying inside and hate every single bit of it? That kind of help is not recorded by God.
Odunnu:
This about summarises my position in all this.
@JK, so if a newbie asks you in confidence to say what you know about Odunnu online, that i'm a pretender would be listed. Now, thats not fair. In life we have to bend so many times just to make room for some.
Not everybody we relate with make use of their common sense using her as an example.
They will come again I am so sure of that but I promise, they wont spend the night in my home. I agree I allowed them task my patience, thats the most they will ever be able to do ever again.

Why do you think I was in so much shock when I knew you started this thread?

Debrief asked a solid question there just exactly what I wanted to ask. Odunnu, your marriage is still young, you have a home to build and many years to enjoy that home. Concentrate on laying the foundation of your home and finding pillars to support it
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 11:28am On Sep 24, 2012
jennykadry:

The world is as it is right now because we are trying to please everybody. The only mortal people I am answerable to are: my parents, my husband, my clients and my children. Why are we so scared of our fellow human being? tell her playfully? Wich part of, this is my house and my rule must be abided to? Tis is the way women invite witches and wizards into their homes and then go on their knees to ask God silly questions. Even my own father informs us when he is visiting how much more, a non relative?

The way you are telling her to go is the way of a coward and please I do not mean this as an insult. It is only a coward that will keep quiet whilst they are burning and dying inside and instead of telling people how we feel, we are busy dying inside and at the same time massaging their bald heads. Tell me if this is the life a Christian should live? A life of pretense all in the name of offering help even when you are dying inside and hate every single bit of it? That kind of help is not recorded by God.


Why do you think I was in so much shock when I knew you started this thread?

Debrief asked a solid question there just exactly what I wanted to ask. Odunnu, your marriage is still young, you have a home to build and many years to enjoy that home. Concentrate on laying the foundation of your home and finding pillars to support it

My dear, Heavens know I tolerate a lot, but I will tell you what I am not comfortable with, if you decide to continue then I know how to relate with you, but I will not let an issue go without letting you know what I feel, even here, I talk and leave it for whoever it is to decide how to react. I dont like scheming, lying all those things people will recommend when you can say the truth and get over it. Why do we care so much of what people think at the cost of our own sanity and calm mind?
Re: I Dey Vex by debosky(m): 11:35am On Sep 24, 2012
Hotel L'Odunnu - laptop, movie pass and camisoles included! grin grin

Just joking my darling. . . .I don't think you're a pretender at all. It's just awkward when you're mad at yourself for allowing a situation to develop, while at the same time trying to be 'respectful' to an elder and struggling to understand why some people behave like they have no commonsense.

You've done a good thing by inconveniencing yourself this time, but no more - if it's your mother's side you're worried about upsetting, let your husband tell them that next time they should give you adequate notice before showing up at his door. That way you're covered. If they try this impromptu showing up move again, just lock up and spend the night elsewhere - they'll definitely get the message then.

@ all

Let's get real here - it's not everything that an individual/stranger does that upsets you that you tell them immediately, even in your own home. Many people simply tolerate some things for the sake of peace and then, afterwards, prevent that occurrence from happening again.

There are many ways of skinning a cat - for some people, outright confrontation/setting of boundaries works, for others there are less confrontational but just as effective means to get the same result.

1 Like

Re: I Dey Vex by coogar: 11:37am On Sep 24, 2012
[img]http://shechive.files./2010/05/1272348532_original-lol.gif?w=238&h=211[/img]

God don catch odunnu - i hope these scroungers come back with their extended family before christmas!
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 11:40am On Sep 24, 2012
^^LMAO!! U hv d best .gif imgs
Re: I Dey Vex by Sagamite(m): 11:48am On Sep 24, 2012
jennykadry:

The world is as it is right now because we are trying to please everybody. The only mortal people I am answerable to are: my parents, my husband, my Sagamite, my clients and my children. Why are we so scared of our fellow human being? tell her playfully? Wich part of, this is my house and my rule must be abided to? Tis is the way women invite witches and wizards into their homes and then go on their knees to ask God silly questions. Even my own father informs us when he is visiting how much more, a non relative?

GBAM!

No relative of mine will just show up at the door, talkless of a stranger.

If it was a relative or friend, I am quite lad-dy (Omoboy international), I can deal with it.

A stranger, hell no.

A stranger with her husband and kid, dem curse am?

I take it you were busy when you composed it, so I have made amendments sha.
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 11:51am On Sep 24, 2012
Odunnu My Love, you know say na too much Love dey make us hala you liken this abi? It is good to be nice but firm and not a door mat.
If you wan do that one, you go get BP and old before time. Be yourself, if something is wrong, say it,n work on it and not keep it in
Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 11:55am On Sep 24, 2012
Sagamite:

GBAM!

No relative of mine will just show up at the door, talkless of a stranger.

If it was a relative or friend, I am quite lad-dy (Omoboy international), I can deal with it.

A stranger, hell no.

A stranger with her husband and kid, dem curse am?

I take it you were busy when you composed it, so I have made amendments sha.

Lmao my apologies. I was typing and cooking at the same time hence my mistake oko mi kiss

ROTFLMAO@ dem curse am? grin grin then add to that list of yours, sharing Clothes angry angry and my laptop? I swear I will kill person

I like odunnu, I am just pissed that she will tolerate these ungrateful people
Re: I Dey Vex by Odunnu: 11:55am On Sep 24, 2012
@Debosky: thank you jor. JK thinks I have the kinda power she has.
@Coogar: dont let me catch you grin
@All: family don go and I no vex again. Hopefully someone will learn like i've learnt from this thread.
Re: I Dey Vex by coogar: 12:00pm On Sep 24, 2012
debosky: Hotel L'Odunnu - laptop, movie pass and camisoles included! grin grin

odunnu has to worry about catching eczema from her camisole! grin cheesy

Odunnu:
@Coogar: dont let me catch you grin

Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 12:06pm On Sep 24, 2012
od I understand what you are going through jare. You want to help people out of the goodness of your heart thinking they will use their common sense but NO. Instead they take advantage of your kindness. Well there's no kind way to go about this. In the end you'll be the enemy but at least you wont be invaded anymore. Try not to worry too much about what people think about you. This life is all about making yourself happy and not someone you dont even know. Believe me, I was like you before but I learnt the hard way!
Re: I Dey Vex by Odunnu: 12:16pm On Sep 24, 2012
debrief08: Odunnu My Love, you know say na too much Love dey make us hala you liken this abi? It is good to be nice but firm and not a door mat.
If you wan do that one, you go get BP and old before time. Be yourself, if something is wrong, say it,n work on it and not keep it in
Yea, I understand and appreciate. Thank you.
coogar:

odunnu has to worry about catching eczema from her camisole! grin cheesy



debrief08: Odunnu My Love, you know say na too much Love dey make us hala you liken this abi? It is good to be nice but firm and not a door mat.
If you wan do that one, you go get BP and old before time. Be yourself, if something is wrong, say it,n work on it and not keep it in

@Coogar: If I get eczema, be sure i'll pass it on to you. But seriously, I dont think she has skin disease even though I will never wear those clothes again.
@Uj: once bitten, twice shy. I have learnt o. E go dey the woman like movie next time.
Re: I Dey Vex by coogar: 12:25pm On Sep 24, 2012
Odunnu:
@Coogar: If I get eczema, be sure i'll pass it on to you. But seriously, I dont think she has skin disease even though I will never those clothes again.

send the camisole to debosky as a christmas present
he is still shy about his newly developed man-bĂ´obs.....
Re: I Dey Vex by swtdarling(f): 12:49pm On Sep 24, 2012
sha come and tell us ow u handled dem wen dey visit again.ds one na campaign after election u dey talk.u ll be surprised dt pple like dt can't even tolerate one bit of wot dey are doing to others.safeguard ur home.u dnt know wot dey mite do d nxt tym dey come.pple dnt really care abt u or ow u end up.dey only care abt demselves!

1 Like

Re: I Dey Vex by Abali1(m): 1:03pm On Sep 24, 2012
Am surprised nobody has said what I have been thinking since I started reading this thread.
Odunnu, believe me, this same family will Label you a wicked woman in the future. If they don't say it to your face, they will mention it to someone who will tell.
Right from when I was a kid, my parents accommodated all sorts. But after my dad died, very few stood by us... The people gained most, were the very people who did my mum the most injustice... Spreading wild tales about the poor woman.
After some years, we the children survived and are doing relatively well. They want become a part of us again.
Odunnu, you can take it from me, that family will not appreciate you. So it's better you take the advice of people here and really stamp your feet down. Say NO next time they come around, no need trying to soften the NO.

1 Like

Re: I Dey Vex by Nobody: 3:10pm On Sep 27, 2012
^^^ You're very right there. People can be so terrible. I took in my hubby's cousin, saw her through secondary school, paid for jamb classes, and Jamb exams so many times, cos the girl was not particularly bright. Eventually, she got admission to the university, where she spent 4yrs, all on our account. The same week she returned to my house after Uni education that was fully sponsored by my hubby and I, she staged a walk-out on us. This coming after 10years of care. And with the full support of her family.

My point being that people are not always who they present themselves to be. They come to you as nice people, when in actual fact, all they want to do is to take advantage of you. One needs wisdom to discern and weed out from one's life such opportunists.

@OP, it pays to set boundaries in one's relationships. It helps to avert a lot of future stress.

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