Firstly, i'd like to make it very clear that i'm neither a Theist nor an Atheist, but the truth is that, the little i've read from the apologists of both Christianity and Islam is not convincing enough.
Though my problem today has nothing to do with whether God exists or not. The story below summarise my problems:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than a year now, she initially thought I’m a Christian, so she was very excited about the r/ships and she happily introduces me to all her family members, they also like and accepted me, not until the day she asked me “Baby, where do you worship?” I replied “worship? I don’t worship anyone O”, she was very disappointed, but she resolved to hang around me until she can convince me to give my life to Christ, She invited me to church several times but I wasn’t interested. We both love each other and planned to get married someday, but her people got to know that I’m not a Christian, and now they are threatening to disown her if she doesn’t quit her r/ship with me.
My Questions now are


1. How did you guys get married? I mean, did your bride’s family know that you guys are Atheist before the wedding?
2. If you are not married, how are you coping with your fiancée
3. Do people around you know that you guys are atheist, and do they respected your decision, just as you respected theirs?

Please share your experience, i will be happy to learn....

nokia3310: Firstly, i'd like to make it very clear that i'm neither a Theist nor an Atheist, but the truth is that, the little i've read from the apologists of both Christianity and Islam is not convincing enough.
Though my problem today has nothing to do with whether God exists or not. The story below summarise my problems:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than a year now, she initially thought I’m a Christian, so she was very excited about the r/ships and she happily introduces me to all her family members, they also like and accepted me, not until the day she asked me “Baby, where do you worship?” I replied “worship? I don’t worship anyone O”, she was very disappointed, but she resolved to hang around me until she can convince me to give my life to Christ, She invited me to church several times but I wasn’t interested. We both love each other and planned to get married someday, but her people got to know that I’m not a Christian, and now they are threatening to disown her if she doesn’t quit her r/ship with me.
My Questions now are


1. How did you guys get married? I mean, did your bride’s family know that you guys are Atheist before the wedding?
2. If you are not married, how are you coping with your fiancée
3. Do people around you know that you guys are atheist, and do they respected your decision, just as you respected theirs?

Please share your experience, i will be happy to learn....

1) Most of us atheists here are still young and not married. However there are one or two that are married. They ill help you.

2) Fiance? lol....to find a Nigerian girl that is an atheist is difficult. I have been dating Asian girls for some time now due to this religion nonsense. I have dated a muslim and almost paid with my life.

3) The only people that know that I'm an atheist are my family. Immediate family and it took arguments and fights to calm them down. My bros respect my decision. But parents still want me to be religious bit to avoid problems if I move to Niaja (Nigerians are too religious). My family is cool with me now- very cool.



Concerning how I came to be an atheist, I was a catholic and I topped being a christian after reading about slavery and how the catholic church supported it in its doctrine in the 13th century. I also saw how slavery was supported in the bible. From there, it went to questions how God who believes every man is equal would ignore West Africa for over 4,000 years then choose to come to West Africa with Christian Europeans to enslave West Africans. Why are all God's prophets from the middles east in christianity, Islam and Judaism? Stinks of racism.



Concerning girlfriends/fiancees, the girls can overlook the disbelief but their families and friends many not. I dated a muslim woman and she was okay with my beliefs but her brothers and cousins were asking if I was a muslim or will convert. I had to lie to avoid having to beat the shytt out of them. They were indirectly threatening me.


Concerning the christian girls I have dated, they themselves like to tell their pastors and church memebers everything. You would probably have to tell her that it is not nice to share relationship details with her church. Furthermore, if you are rich you can invite them to your house and have a meeting with some of her church members and give them drinks or food. Try to reason with them and tell them that you have no animosity towards their church. Ask them questions that indirectly makes them to question their beliefs- you have to do this covertly, dont annoy them.

Ask them questions like;

-I am not too much of a born again but I am really interested in Jesus, do you think he was a white man?
++++this question would get them to think about Jesus and how he relates to black people.

-I would have liked Jesus to be a West African/Nigerian, dont you think?
++++this question is a follow up and they would start stuttering and thinking why Jesus was not in West Afric but only foriegn lands.

-Did you know that most british people are not religious, eyt they brough christianity to Nigeria?
++++another troubling question for them.


There is an atheist that succeeded in getting people in His area off his back. He has money and and Nigerians respect money + success. They will listen more carefully to someone they respect. Cant remember the particular atheist but I read his comment here on Nairaland.


Hope I have helped!

@Logicboy, i really appreciated your response, I initially thought i could pretend to be a christian so that after the wedding, and as soon as i'm guaranteed that the girl is mine, then i will gradually stop attending church services...but it was very difficult, on my first attempt, may be because i'm not good at acting, i was just seating at the back watching them as they tried to communicate with God but deep in my mind, i know they all just wasting their time, i don't want to fool myself i just went out, and she eventually catch up with me after the service.

nokia3310: @Logicboy, i really appreciated your response, I initially thought i could pretend to be a christian so that after the wedding, and as soon as i'm guaranteed that the girl is mine, then i will gradually stop attending church services...but it was very difficult, on my first attempt, may be because i'm not good at acting, i was just seating at the back watching them as they tried to communicate with God but deep in my mind, i know they all just wasting their time, i don't want to fool myself i just went out, and she eventually catch up with me after the service.

Trust me, I acted like a muslim once to avoid problems, it makes you sick because you arent yourself and also disgusted because you are doing something that is ridiculous rituals that you dont believe in.


Better be yourself but be careful and be friendly with the church members.


You three options;

a) Giving her good reasons not to believe and hope that she would become less pushy on you about religion
b) Telling her to separate her relationship with you from the church
c) Trying to go to church to appease her.

Logicboy03:

Trust me, I acted like a muslim once to avoid problems, it makes you sick because you arent yourself and also disgusted because you are doing something that is ridiculous rituals that you dont believe in.


Better be yourself but be careful and be friendly with the church members.


You three options;

a) Giving her good reasons not to believe and hope that she would become less pushy on you about religion
b) Telling her to separate her relationship with you from the church
c) Trying to go to church to appease her.

I'm sure you will also face this problem as soon as you come back to Naija, the problem is not really the girl, the problem is her family.
I was able to convince her that religion is just fairy tales, in fact i even know the bible better than her, but she can't confront her people.
More than 75% of the religious people either don't know anything about their religion or they are scared to declared their independence.

I agree with your comment.


I will face this problem as well. Or maybe I will marry an atheist. Very hard to find atheist women in naija

Doubt it if u can find an atheist woman in Naija, because Nigerians like to believe in something, at least believing in anything will please them.
My dad once told me that "Why can't you believe in God, so that on the last day, if the whole story about God turn out to be true, you'll be safe, and if it turnout to be false you've nothing to loose as well"
That's their mentality. But personally, i cannot tolerated all the lies religious people will filled me up with, and they expected me not to object.

nokia3310:
Firstly, i'd like to make it very clear that i'm neither a Theist nor an Atheist, but the truth is that, the little i've read from the apologists of both Christianity and Islam is not convincing enough.
Though my problem today has nothing to do with whether God exists or not. The story below summarise my problems:

Lol. Funny intro...

[quote author=nokia3310]
My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than a year now, she initially thought I’m a Christian, so she was very excited about the r/ships and she happily introduces me to all her family members, they also like and accepted me, not until the day she asked me “Baby, where do you worship?” I replied “worship? I don’t worship anyone O”, she was very disappointed, but she resolved to hang around me until she can convince me to give my life to Christ, She invited me to church several times but I wasn’t interested. We both love each other and planned to get married someday, but her people got to know that I’m not a Christian, and now they are threatening to disown her if she doesn’t quit her r/ship with me.
My Questions now are


1. How did you guys get married? I mean, did your bride’s family know that you guys are Atheist before the wedding?

I'm not married. I think one or two atheists on here are married. Plaetton, Mazaje I think, not too sure about the marital status of the other guys..

nokia3310:
2. If you are not married, how are you coping with your fiancée

Girlfriend. And she's exactly like yours. Thinks she can convert me, before things get more serious.

nokia3310:
3. Do people around you know that you guys are atheist, and do they respected your decision, just as you respected theirs?

Lol. We're talking about Nigerians here. A few people do know that I'm irreligious (i still deny i'm atheist, lol). Everyone thinks I'm crazy or outright foolish for not believing in the crap that they do. Those who respect my beliefs, I respect theirs. Those who threaten, well I give them back in full measure...

@Muskeeto may be because you're not in the Northern part of the country, the northerners will never respect your believe, and if they threaten you, you better run for you dear life than to think you can give them back anything in full measures. Read the story of logicboy above, about how the families of his Muslim girlfriend reacted to their r/ship.

nokia3310: @Muskeeto may be because you're not in the Northern part of the country, the northerners will never respect your believe, and if they threaten you, you better run for you dear life than to think you can give them back anything in full measures. Read the story of logicboy above about how the families of his Muslim girlfriend reacted to their r/ship.

I fully agree.. Who wants to die?

I exercise my freedom a lot. I usually think about it. If I was born into a Muslim family, it probably would have been more difficult to break out. All thanks be to the god of randomness...

lol @ the god of randomness...

I'm actually born into a muslim family, my earlier posts on nairaland were defending islam but now i know better..

nokia3310: I'm actually born into a muslim family, my earlier posts on nairaland were defending islam but now i know better..

Man, I envy you not... beware of SweetNECKta and vedAXEcool... those guys would put an AXE to your NECK if they find out your offline identity.. there's a medical student here who is in exactly the same shoes as you, i think Avicenna or something, not too sure..

muskeeto2:
Man, I envy you not... beware of SweetNECKta and vedAXEcool... those guys would put an AXE to your NECK if they find out your offline identity.. there's a medical student here who is in exactly the same shoes as you, i think Avicenna or something, not too sure..

That's actually one of my problem with Islam, how can you kill someone just because he cease to believe in your God? why can't they wait till the last day..

@Sweetnect, if you're online, i've got some questions for you as well

same prob am facin, from muslin family went to xtain skul, so i claim both religions hahahahaa, d only athiest female hv seen is my sister, at d time i converted to free thinker i was in uk, but she doesnt nw am like her too lol.

Sweetneckta and tbaba are the good guys. The bad guys are......* LookS around, Moves Lips Tenaciously, runs out *

Here is my advice.

My wife is born again christian(yeah, what else is new in Nigeria?) and we have known each for more than 15yrs.

Though I was an agnostic at the time,I did go to her church to woo her, then afterwards, I did make very plain to her of my aversion for religion. Funny enough, she found it very ingriguing and saw me as just a rebel.

Everyone knows me as an agnostic. I keep my atheism just within my immediate family circle and few enlightened friends. You cannot live a comfortable life as an open atheist is Nigeria.

Believe it or not, my inlaws still think I am good christian. I keep it that way just to maintain my close relationship with them. My most awkward moment occurred when my father inlaw once asked me to lead in prayers during a family gathering . lol

Now, if you both love each other, you must convince her that you can never betray the the sovereignty of your mind by becoming religious,that religion is very divisive and would destroy your relationship only if she lets it.

As for her parents, I dont know what you or she has already told them, but you can make amends by letting them know that you believe in god, but have lost interest in religion because of the frauds perpetuated by these Nigerian men of fraud(MOF).

That should buy you some respite until you get married and take their daughter away to make your own home. After that, it would no longer be their business.

Easy!

Just lie! Many atheists are pastors and sunday school teachers. I'm not married, but living as a cultural christian wouldn't be so hard

plaetton: Here is my advice.

My wife is born again christian(yeah, what else is new in Nigeria?) and we have known each for more than 15yrs.

Though I was an agnostic at the time,I did go to her church to woo her, then afterwards, I did make very plain to her of my aversion for religion. Funny enough, she found it very ingriguing and saw me as just a rebel.

Everyone knows me as an agnostic. I keep my atheism just within my immediate family circle and few enlightened friends. You cannot live a comfortable life as an open atheist is Nigeria.

Believe it or not, my inlaws still think I am good christian. I keep it that way just to maintain my close relationship with them. My most awkward moment occurred when my father inlaw once asked me to lead in prayers during a family gathering . lol

Now, if you both love each other, you must convince her that you can never betray the the sovereignty of your mind by becoming religious,that religion is very divisive and would destroy your relationship only if she lets it.

As for her parents, I dont know what you or she has already told them, but you can make amends by letting them know that you believe in god, but have lost interest in religion because of the frauds perpetuated by these Nigerian men of fraud(MOF).

That should buy you some respite until you get married and take their daughter away to make your own home. After that, it would no longer be their business.

Thanks for your response. But this religious people are too brainwash to reason like normal human being, even their pastor knew about me, and he had summoned me in the past but i refused to turn up, because i said he had no such right, i told the girl to tell him that if he really wants to see me, he should come to my house but he refused to show up as well. But since then, the parent of the girl became very hostile towards me because i refused to answer the call of a respected MOG. I could've pretend to be a christian and play along, but its very difficult because i'm not good at acting...

nokia3310:
But since then, the parent of the girl became very hostile towards me because i refused to answer the call of a respected MOG. I could've pretend to be a christian and play along, but its very difficult because i'm not good at acting...

.......just clutch a bible and try to look ridiculous filled with the Holy Ghost of the Holy Spirit like this "MOG".

Kay 17: Easy!

Just lie! Many atheists are pastors and sunday school teachers. I'm not married, but living as a cultural christian wouldn't be so hard

That's why i said that you guys are too brainwashed to reason like a normal human being, if you believe most of the Pastors and Sunday school teachers are atheist, then what are you waiting for to declare your independence.

Kay 17: Easy!

Just lie! Many atheists are pastors and sunday school teachers. I'm not married, but living as a cultural christian wouldn't be so hard

That's why i said that you guys are too brainwashed to reason like a normal human being, if you believe most of the Pastors and Sunday school teachers are atheist, then what are you waiting for to declare your independence.

Dating girls shouldn't be difficult for an atheist, but it becomes an issue as soon as her family is involved. They begin to ask questions like where do you worship. These days its not only Islam that surfers from extremism, even Christianity have extremists. Can't remember how many times people have ask me questions like are you a christian? I always pick offence, because what's your biz with my faith...

nokia3310:

Thanks for your response. But this religious people are too brainwash to reason like normal human being, even their pastor knew about me, and he had summoned me in the past but i refused to turn up, because i said he had no such right, i told the girl to tell him that if he really wants to see me, he should come to my house but he refused to show up as well. But since then, the parent of the girl became very hostile towards me because i refused to answer the call of a respected MOG. I could've pretend to be a christian and play along, but its very difficult because i'm not good at acting...

In this case, the real choice is with your fiance. I cannot see you surrendering your mind to her church and family. She has to make the hard choice now.

Martian:

.......just clutch a bible and try to look ridiculous filled with the Holy Ghost of the Holy Spirit like this "MOG".

lol... may be i'd try harder, but that expression on his face alone could take me at least 3 months of practice..

plaetton:

In this case, the real choice is with your fiance. I cannot see you surrendering your mind to her church and family. She has to make the hard choice now.

Actually its not a do or die for me, for e.g i've not called her line for 3days now (That's to show i'm gradually giving up on her)though she's been calling me everyday ... but the reason why i started this thread is that, i'm sure i will encounter same problem as soon as i go into another r/ship.

nokia3310:

That's why i said that you guys are too brainwashed to reason like a normal human being, if you believe most of the Pastors and Sunday school teachers are atheist, then what are you waiting for to declare your independence.

He is not a christain.

nokia3310:

Actually its not a do or die for me, for e.g i've not called her line for 3days now (That's to show i'm gradually giving up on her)though she's been calling me everyday ... but the reason why i started this thread is that, i'm sure i will encounter same problem as soon as i go into another r/ship.

You'll brother, you will.

Reyginus: He is not a christain.

So sorry @Kay 17 thought you are a christian..

nokia3310: Firstly, i'd like to make it very clear that i'm neither a Theist nor an Atheist, but the truth is that, the little i've read from the apologists of both Christianity and Islam is not convincing enough.
Though my problem today has nothing to do with whether God exists or not. The story below summarise my problems:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than a year now, she initially thought I’m a Christian, so she was very excited about the r/ships and she happily introduces me to all her family members, they also like and accepted me, not until the day she asked me “Baby, where do you worship?” I replied “worship? I don’t worship anyone O”, she was very disappointed, but she resolved to hang around me until she can convince me to give my life to Christ, She invited me to church several times but I wasn’t interested. We both love each other and planned to get married someday, but her people got to know that I’m not a Christian, and now they are threatening to disown her if she doesn’t quit her r/ship with me.
My Questions now are


1. How did you guys get married? I mean, did your bride’s family know that you guys are Atheist before the wedding?
2. If you are not married, how are you coping with your fiancée
3. Do people around you know that you guys are atheist, and do they respected your decision, just as you respected theirs?

Please share your experience, i will be happy to learn....

plz is it posible to b neither a teist or an ateist

nokia3310: Firstly, i'd like to make it very clear that i'm neither a Theist nor an Atheist, but the truth is that, the little i've read from the apologists of both Christianity and Islam is not convincing enough.
Though my problem today has nothing to do with whether God exists or not. The story below summarise my problems:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than a year now, she initially thought I’m a Christian, so she was very excited about the r/ships and she happily introduces me to all her family members, they also like and accepted me, not until the day she asked me “Baby, where do you worship?” I replied “worship? I don’t worship anyone O”, she was very disappointed, but she resolved to hang around me until she can convince me to give my life to Christ, She invited me to church several times but I wasn’t interested. We both love each other and planned to get married someday, but her people got to know that I’m not a Christian, and now they are threatening to disown her if she doesn’t quit her r/ship with me.
My Questions now are


1. How did you guys get married? I mean, did your bride’s family know that you guys are Atheist before the wedding?
2. If you are not married, how are you coping with your fiancée
3. Do people around you know that you guys are atheist, and do they respected your decision, just as you respected theirs?

Please share your experience, i will be happy to learn....

plz is it posible to b neither a teist or an ateist

mumumugu:

plz is it posible to b neither a teist or an ateist

Yes, presently i'm neutral, because i don't go to mosque, church or any shrine for that matter, but i also did not deny the existence of God completely, but one thing i'm very sure of is that if God really exists, he is certainly not the character all the Abrahamic religion depicted in their books. So dear God, if you are out there, i'm in dear need to see your face, before i'd deny you completely. Because i'm fast becoming an atheist.