shymexx:

Epistle of abiL - I see you have been trying to kick knowledge since Seun called you out....

Do your thing, big mouth...

STFU Shymexx.

I had so much to say (and I've got more) because the issue of self-esteem is one of the things I have experience with... I'm a trained psychologist (still training), so I get clients with low self-esteem problems sometimes.

Just because I curse a lot doesn't mean that I ain't intelligent.

On that note, suck on my big black dîck Shymexx

I can say parents are the major cause of low self esteem in children. First of all, if one or both parents have self esteem issues, the child picks it up as a baby (not heredrity...babies consciousness is greatly affected by those who take care of them)

The second reason is because children will believe and take as truth whatever their parents tell them. So, if the parents keep saying the child is "no good", thats what the child would take as truth. It doesnt stop there; if the parents compare her to a neighbor's child or another sibling, it can greatly affect the kid.

@OP was that your childhood experience?I mean the stuff you wrote about parents?I know someone who had same experience and it did affect not just self-esteem but other aspects of his life.But he is over it now and doing well.
But not matter what i think another experience can change this nature.

abiL:
STFU Shymexx.

I had so much to say (and I've got more) because the issue of self-esteem is one of the things I have experience with... I'm a trained psychologist (still training), so I get clients with low self-esteem problems sometimes.

Just because I curse a lot doesn't mean that I ain't intelligent.

On that note, suck on my big black dîck Shymexx

Hmmmm... I'll suck on your big black nip.ples soon, anyway...Expect me soon.

That's my abiL...

50calibre: 3 major factors contributing to low-self esteem

- Parental upbringing
- Environment and peer groups
- Media.

h.

All the three things that you've stated can all be grouped under one section... Environmental influences/ factors.

Genetics is also a major contributing factor to self-esteem.


If one can argue that IQ/ intelligence can sometimes be influenced by our genes, one can also argue that self-esteem can be influenced by our genes...AND environmental factors.

Personally, I think the environment play the biggest contributing role to self-esteem/ self-worth.




The media does contribute a wee bit, but the effects of the media is mostly manifested in weight issues (anorexia and bulimia). However, if one isn't about their weight, then one starts to have negative thoughts, which can lead to the development of a low self-esteem.

So yeah the media does affect self-esteem, but not directly.

shymexx:

MJ is one weird mofo - he had mental issues...

His problem had more to do with his lack of childhood(if that makes sense) than his upbringing...

Loads of people went through what MJ went through as a kid(if not worse), but they didn't end up like him...

MJ would always be an isolated case - and a lot of factors contributed to that, not just his upbringing, environment, and media.....

Thats true though, but one thing people don't realize is that Nigerian or maybe African kids have a sort of in-built resilience, they are able to bounce back or achieve great success regardless of whatever he/she experienced during childhood maybe because we are used to being bullied, abused or beaten as kids.

No Nigerian kid can say he/she hasnt being bullied or beaten at one point or the other.

shymexx:

Hmmmm... I'll suck on your big black nip.ples soon, anyway...Expect me soon.

That's my abiL...

Ewwww!

Kindly fûck to the direction of off please

50calibre:
Thats true though, but one thing people don't realize is that Nigerian or maybe African kids have a sort of in-built resilience, they are able to bounce back or achieve great success regardless of whatever he/she experienced during childhood maybe because we are used to being bullied, abused or beaten as kids.

No Nigerian kid can say he/she hasnt being bullied or beaten at one point or the other.

MJ was black as well and most AAs went/go through the same thing during their childhood as well... It would be simplistic to blame it on the upbringing alone - upbringing plays a role in it, however, there are many other factors involved...

You might have the best upbringing/personality in the world with high-self esteem, however, one setback can change that within the twinkle of an eye... Self-esteem isn't as simplistic as most people think it is...

seedord247: I think its from the parents.

For i.e.. Check yoruba kids... Hardly you see a yoruba kid that doesnt know how to cursed bcus thats what their parents used in bringi g them up.

Check igbo kids... Hardly you see a igbo boy that does not know how to lie or steal from age 8. Thats why you see them turning drug pushers when they grow up.

Check benin and calabar kids..... Being a frnd of this tribe.... They hardly discipline their kids if they do something wrong.. They give thier kids freedom of speech in family matters while they are very young, their folks even do some nasty things in front of thier kids.... Thats why you see calabars and benin girls all over the street of lagos asking for pay as you f**ck.

. Grow up!! Its never too late

seedord247: I think its from the parents.

For i.e.. Check yoruba kids... Hardly you see a yoruba kid that doesnt know how to cursed bcus thats what their parents used in bringi g them up.

Check igbo kids... Hardly you see a igbo boy that does not know how to lie or steal from age 8. Thats why you see them turning drug pushers when they grow up.

Check benin and calabar kids..... Being a frnd of this tribe.... They hardly discipline their kids if they do something wrong.. They give thier kids freedom of speech in family matters while they are very young, their folks even do some nasty things in front of thier kids.... Thats why you see calabars and benin girls all over the street of lagos asking for pay as you f**ck.

with all due respect, i think you are a fücking idiöt!

all4naija: It could be both!

Definitely!

That's why studies on MZ (monozygotic) twins are excellent, because we can eliminate traits that are influenced by genetical factors, or environmental. Through twin studies, we can also identify which traits are both innate and environmental.


However, the proportion of twins both MZ and DZ (dizygotic) in the population is quite low, so that's why several studies done to investigate e.g. 'Self-esteem in twins' aren't as conclusive as we would want them to be.

Even interaction/relationship can mess a person's self-esteem....

There are too many factors involved, I tell ya...

seedord247: I think its from the parents.

For i.e.. Check yoruba kids... Hardly you see a yoruba kid that doesnt know how to cursed bcus thats what their parents used in bringi g them up.

Check igbo kids... Hardly you see a igbo boy that does not know how to lie or steal from age 8. Thats why you see them turning drug pushers when they grow up.

Check benin and calabar kids..... Being a frnd of this tribe.... They hardly discipline their kids if they do something wrong.. They give thier kids freedom of speech in family matters while they are very young, their folks even do some nasty things in front of thier kids.... Thats why you see calabars and benin girls all over the street of lagos asking for pay as you f**ck.

Have you by any chance flushed your brain in the loo today?

I'm not even going to try and bring sense into that foölishness you've written.

abiL:

All the three things that you've stated can all be grouped under one section... Environmental influences/ factors.

Genetics is also a major contributing factor to self-esteem.


If one can argue that IQ/ intelligence can sometimes be influenced by our genes, one can also argue that self-esteem can be influenced by our genes...AND
environmental factors.

Personally, I think the environment play the biggest contributing role to self-esteem/ self-worth.

The media does contribute a wee bit, but the effects of the media is mostly manifested in weight issues (anorexia and bulimia). However, if one isn't about their weight, then one starts to have negative thoughts, which can lead to the development of a low self-esteem.

So yeah the media does affect self-esteem, but not directly.

You know there can be various reasons why someone might develope a low self esteem, it could be as a result of a deformity or disability, weight issues,it could low IQ (maybe a never do well in class), it could even be as a result of mirror reflection ( a child might see his/her mirror reflection and compare with their mates and conclude they are ugly or at least the brain tells them they are ugly) and school mates and friends are always quick to point these issues out which then re-enforces the kids views of being inadequate.

I personally think most self-esteem issues begin in schools. As for the part genetics plays in all these I'm not too sure. Because a man or woman with a low self-esteem doesn't necessarily give birth to a child with the same thing.

What has science got to do with self-esteem?

Scientific crap and social/psychological behaviours shouldn't mix...

shymexx: Even interaction/relationship can mess a person's self-esteem....

There are too many factors involved, I tell ya...

not too many factors - the environment plays the bigger role....who the child interacts with in school/home holds the key!

shymexx: Even interaction/relationship can mess a person's self-esteem....

There are too many factors involved, I tell ya...

Yep, and having a low self-esteem can lead to other psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, relationships etc.

That's why parents needs to be careful when bringing up their children. They might not see the effect of bad parenting now, but the issue will arise in the future.

How come no one is talking about social status?

Have you ever see a poor man with high-self esteem around rich folks, or a thug with high self-esteem around academics?

Too many factors are involved...

coogar:

with all due respect, i think you are a fücking idiöt!

Coming from an anthropoid.... There's nothing positive about u except for the cancer you live with.... extra large fool.

abiL:


Have you by any chance flushed your brain in the loo today?

I'm not even going to try and bring sense into that foölishness you've written.

Its hard for dimwit like you to comprehend what intelingent person wrote... Obfuscated twerp.

abiL:
Yep, and having a low self-esteem can lead to other psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, relationships etc.

That's why parents needs to be careful when bringing up their children. They might not see the effect of bad parenting now, but the issue will arise in the future.

Yeah, it might affect the children until they get to a certain age. However, once you grow past that, and know who you're and your self-worth - you should outgrow that...

Upbringing plays a role but it doesn't fully define who you become socially/psychologically as an adult...

You're the architect of your own reality..

abiL:

Yep, and having a low self-esteem can lead to other psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, relationships etc.

That's why parents needs to be careful when bringing up their children. They might not see the effect of bad parenting now, but the issue will arise in the future.

i disagree with this....
if these were true, every nigerian child should be a mass murderer or a serial killer - most nigerian parents didn't spare the rod when raising their children and these kids still wen ahead to become upstanding citizens in their community!

the environment is the key - a child raised in an academic environment with plenty of his peers allowed to interact with him would have a higher self esteem than his counterpart that always gets locked up at home!

seedord247:
Coming from an anthropoid.... There's nothing positive about u except for the cancer you live with.... extra large fool.

you have the brain capacity of a pubic louse......look at the drivel you wrote up there and tell me you have not disgraced the community that sponsored your education! if you don't have nothing intelligent to say, tape it shut and observe........

k2039: To me it's the individual.

Frankly parents could add to it,by telling their kids you are not good enough,you are not this,you are not that(not just parent alone but every negative statement we have heard,our failures,rejection etc).
The point is jut that,once one start to beleieve this comments then one's self esteem is in trouble.

I think He was Ghandi who said this 'they cant take away our self respect except we give it to them'

The reason why I think it has a lot to do with personality is because for the fact that someone said you are stupid doesnt necessarily mean you are,it's his opinion and he is entitled to it.

So every thing then boils down to this,believing in oneself,liking oneself.

For example personaly I dont have a problem with my self esteem(some say I'm arrogant,just because I dont give a damn about what they say,some find it hard to believe in theirself,and for believing so much im myself they label me names,mtcheww),I understand I may not be able to influence what others say about me,but I have the ability to choose the way I respond to them.
I understand we all see the world the way we are and not necessarily the way it is(reality),so everyone is entitled to his/her opinion.

Whatever anyone says is just an expression of their own opinion.


So OP IT'S more of a personality thing(understanding that I have a control over my mood and how I feel),frankly parents and peer may shape it,it still boils down to taking full responsibility for ones life(even if your parents say you are good enough,if you still dont believe it your self esteem is in trouble and finaly if you base your self esteem on what people say,your esteem is still in trouble because as much as positive comments affect you so will their negative comments also affect you).

Individualy we are all unique,we are special

Assuming you were born adult, then you would be right. Kids don't have control of their moods. The issue of self esteem starts from childhood.
So for me, it's parent.

It has to do with the parents and the environment the child is brought up. Everyone is born with self confidence, bt its the parent's inactions and the environment that destroys this confidence as the child grows up. Let me use this opportunity to advise parents never to be hash on their children as this has a psychological effect on the child, and will latter make the child develop low self esteem.

coogar:

i disagree with this....
if this were true, every nigerian child should be a mass murderer or a serial killer - most nigerian parents didn't spare the rod when raising their children and these kids still wen ahead to become upstanding citizens in their community!

the environment is the key - a child raised in an academic environment with plenty of his peers allowed to interact with him would have a higher self esteem than his counterpart that always gets locked up at home!



you have the brain capacity of a pubic louse......look at the drivel you wrote up there and tell me you have not disgraced the community that sponsored your education! if you do ExpressVPN n't have nothing intelligent to say, tape it shut and observe........

i


I have always known you to be stupiid as loup-garou.... You talked about brain, tell me the diffrence btw you and a public flies.... Inglorious imm-becile claiming intellingent when your fellow teratoid are busy hunting for blood to suck...

50calibre:

You know there can be various reasons why someone might develope a low self esteem, it could be as a result of a deformity or disability, weight issues,it could low IQ (maybe a never do well in class), it could even be as a result of mirror reflection ( a child might see his/her mirror reflection and compare with their mates and conclude they are ugly or at least the brain tells them they are ugly) and school mates and friends are always quick to point these issues out which then re-enforces the kids views of being inadequate.

I personally think most self-esteem issues begin in schools. As for the part genetics plays in all these I'm not too sure. Because a man or woman with a low self-esteem doesn't necessarily give birth to a child with the same thing.

Self-esteem isn't visible, it's not like a physical disability which is easily detectable.

A child with a low self-esteem might struggle to open up to others about what he/she is going through. The child will bottle it up until adult life when the person will now find it difficult to accomplish simple tasks because they have a low self-worth.

Genetics does contribute in some cases, and it doesn't in other cases. It's hard to pin point which factor(s) contributed the most.


Read up on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you'll see that getting the most basic thing wrong (like not providing a proper shelter for your kids) can have a big detrimental effect in their adult like.

For a person to be fully functioning, he/ she needs to be a self-actualiser. If you aren't loved enough by your parents, you can't be a fully functioning adults.



The effect of school and school mates to the issue of self-esteem isn't as big of a contributing factor in comparison to the role of parents and significant others.

A child doesn't start school properly until 3 years (I think), before then, a child would have begin to model (copy) the behaviours of his/ her parents, siblings, grans etc.


Although our upbringing matters a lot, however, a person who hasn't got a self-esteem issue previously, can develop it later in life. It could be triggered by anything, such as future partners. For example, getting into an emotionally abusive relationship where your partner makes you feel like nothing. Gradually, the victim will start to believe the words of their abusive, which can in turn affect how the victim views themselves...

lmao @ this thread....will keep my opinions on self esteem issues for now.

abiL , I see u. Educate those mofos

abiL: Self-esteem is influenced by hereditary, but environmental factors also have an effect on it.

Self-esteem is not someone's personality. Both traits aren't related. For example, an individual with an extrovert personality can have a low self-esteem issue. However, you are more likely to find high self-esteem in people who are considered extroverts than introverts. There is a link, but both aren't associated.

Personality is quite similar to self-esteem because both are influenced by the effect of genes and our environment.

So no, self-esteem is not a result of our personality, but it can be influenced by our personality, and yes, self-esteem can be a result of parental upbringing.

Parental upbringing is an environmental factor, that coupled with other factors such as friends, relationships, weight, height, personality type, skin colour, self-worth etc. can affect an individual's self esteem.

There was a study done by (can't remember their names) who found a link between self-confidence and the nature argument. But the study didn't discard the influence of the environment.


How one feels about him/ her-self starts from home. If parents neglects complimenting their children, but only finds negative things to say to their kids, then those children are more likely to grow up thinking low of themselves.


Our childhood upbringing is highly vital, and they shape our adult lives.
If parents gets it wrong from the start, it's very difficult to change in the future.
That's why you see so many people requires therapy nowadays.


Children also models the behaviours of significant others, therefore, if a child is brought up in a household where most members doesn't think highly of themselves, and their ability to accomplish great things, the child will start to copy their thinking. Thus the child will grow up with the same mentality.


I'll stop ranting now

u made some nice comments here, but where i will disagree wit u is 2 say dat self-esteem is hereditary while we hv pple wit diffrent self- esteem coming 4rom d same home. Better u say is a result of parental upbringing but can b influence by one's personality . Gud comments nice try.

BodyKiss:

Assuming you were born adult, then you would be right. Kids don't have control of their moods. The issue of self esteem starts from childhood.
So for me, it's parent.

wrong!
cos it then means kids with no parents/guardian won't have any esteem at all! self esteem or lack of it is mostly determined by the immediate environment of that child!

seedord247: i
I have always known you to be stupiid as loup-garou.... You talked about brain, tell me the diffrence btw you and a public flies.... Inglorious imm-becile claiming intellingent when your fellow teratoid are busy hunting for blood to suck...

if only the recipient of your y-chromosomes had used it as a mouth-wash instead of allowing it to swim upstream to the ovaries, you wouldn't be here displaying your sheer idiocy on a public forum!

shymexx:

Yeah, it might affect the children until they get to a certain age. However, once you grow past that, and know who you're and your self-worth - you should outgrow that...

Upbringing plays a role but it doesn't fully define who you become socially/psychologically as an adult...

You're the architect of your own reality..

Nope. If plays a vital role, but your upbringing does not define you.

But some people find it difficult to stop blaming their parents, and start taking responsibilities for their own actions.

That's why therapy comes in handy.

k2039: To me it's the individual.

Frankly parents could add to it,by telling their kids you are not good enough,you are not this,you are not that(not just parent alone but every negative statement we have heard,our failures,rejection etc).
The point is jut that,once one start to beleieve this comments then one's self esteem is in trouble.

I think He was Ghandi who said this 'they cant take away our self respect except we give it to them'

The reason why I think it has a lot to do with personality is because for the fact that someone said you are stupid doesnt necessarily mean you are,it's his opinion and he is entitled to it.

So every thing then boils down to this,believing in oneself,liking oneself.

For example personaly I dont have a problem with my self esteem(some say I'm arrogant,just because I dont give a damn about what they say,some find it hard to believe in theirself,and for believing so much im myself they label me names,mtcheww),I understand I may not be able to influence what others say about me,but I have the ability to choose the way I respond to them.
I understand we all see the world the way we are and not necessarily the way it is(reality),so everyone is entitled to his/her opinion.

Whatever anyone says is just an expression of their own opinion.


So OP IT'S more of a personality thing(understanding that I have a control over my mood and how I feel),frankly parents and peer may shape it,it still boils down to taking full responsibility for ones life(even if your parents say you are good enough,if you still dont believe it your self esteem is in trouble and finaly if you base your self esteem on what people say,your esteem is still in trouble because as much as positive comments affect you so will their negative comments also affect you).

Individualy we are all unique,we are special

GBAM!! . . .Case cLosed.