I think the topic explains what i need to know. for those who went through the compulsory marriage counseling some churches require before they marry a couple, I just want to know if you feel your marriage is any better because of it, the same or even worse?

Thanks.

ok, no one on the family section in nairaland did marriage counseling?

2nd to comment

It has so far worked for me. I would advise anybody to go for the marriage class ( as it is refered to in the catholic church ) before marriage. You would be surprised at the things that you would learn

MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS A BUSINESS. IF KNOW HOW TO BRAINWASH PEOPLE YOU MAKE YOUR CASH FROM IT, IF NOT IT DOESN'T CHANGE OR ADD ANYTHING TO THE FAMILY.

Its of no importance or use. Those who will break up will break-up and those who won't will not. That's life. Its like saying how important is mathematics while you study English.

the whole thing about marriage is complicated,
the more we know the less its working out.
sometimes i wonder, our parents didnt know half of what we know now
didnt date as much as we do now
didnt attend any marriage courses,
yet it all worked out better for them than it is working now.
i think we all need to work on our tolerance, that's the only ingredient that can make marriage work IMO.

a1solution: MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS A BUSINESS. IF KNOW HOW TO BRAINWASH PEOPLE YOU MAKE YOUR CASH FROM IT, IF NOT IT DOESN'T CHANGE OR ADD ANYTHING TO THE FAMILY.

Sorry to say,but i disagree with you.

ti-ebe:
I think the topic explains what i need to know. for those who went through the compulsory marriage counseling some churches require before they marry a couple, I just want to know if you feel your marriage is any better because of it, the same or even worse?

Thanks.

I THINK ITS RUBBISH....THE COUNCELLIN IS USUALLY IMPROMTU, THEY TELL YOU THINGS U KNOW ALREADY( EXCEPT U ARE EXTRA STUPID, DEN U WONT KNOW ALREADY)...ITS MORE LIKE A RITUAL AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, ITS SOMETHING YOU U DO BEFORE THE CHURCH AGREES TO JOINING THE COUPLE, EVERYBODY HAS TO DO IT AS FAR AS CHURCH MARRIAGE IS CONCERNED...IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE

a1solution: MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS A BUSINESS. IF KNOW HOW TO BRAINWASH PEOPLE YOU MAKE YOUR CASH FROM IT, IF NOT IT DOESN'T CHANGE OR ADD ANYTHING TO THE FAMILY.

Rubbish! It may have have not worked for u but that doesn't mean it's not a good idea.

It is not about what they tell you, it is about what you need to know.

Topeedo: I THINK ITS RUBBISH....THE COUNCELLIN IS USUALLY IMPROMTU, THEY TELL YOU THINGS U KNOW ALREADY( EXCEPT U ARE EXTRA STUPID, DEN U WONT KNOW ALREADY)...ITS MORE LIKE A RITUAL AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, ITS SOMETHING YOU U DO BEFORE THE CHURCH AGREES TO JOINING THE COUPLE, EVERYBODY HAS TO DO IT AS FAR AS CHURCH MARRIAGE IS CONCERNED...IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE

This sounds like you had a bad experience . Please which church specifies this as a criteria before you join? Am curious becos a church is like a market place. Will they turn down widows, children,single parents etc

slimming: It is not about what they tell you, it is about what you need to know.

.... and applying it to your individual situation. Every marriage is unique. One size does NOT fit ALL.

solidbroda: Its of no importance or use. Those who will break up will break-up and those who won't will not. That's life. Its like saying how important is mathematics while you study English.

My Dear stop misinforming people ,Marriage counselling is very important for intending marriage couples,it helps shape them to have an idea of what marriage is ,to prepare them cos marriage is a vocation,its a calling and its not everyone that's called for it and people must know this and be aware so as not get into mistakes that will bring annulment/divorce,My dear I suggest you take that class before venturing into marriage,"not a must ooo" but iam just suggesting

well, everybody here seems to be seeing things the way I do. not like i've had the counseling before o. but everybody that I know that has gone through it says its basically telling you what you already know. doesnt shed any light on marriage at all. I'm yet to hear anybody who has said their marriage would have fallen apart if not for it. so, i'm leaning towards seeing it as an unnecessary waste of time and power. . .

However, for those of you who say it was worth while, please let us know exactly where and how u feel it improved ur married life. . . thanks. eg.

crusufixo: It has so far worked for me. I would advise anybody to go for the marriage class ( as it is refered to in the catholic church ) before marriage. You would be surprised at the things that you would learn

and

2pence:

My Dear stop misinforming people ,Marriage counselling is very important for intending marriage couples,it helps shape them to have an idea of what marriage is ,to prepare them cos marriage is a vocation,its a calling and its not everyone that's called for it and people must know this and be aware so as not get into mistakes that will bring annulment/divorce,My dear I suggest you take that class before venturing into marriage,"not a must ooo" but iam just suggesting

can you honestly say your married life would have been worse off without it?

If I am privileged to advise intending couples I will ask them to ponder on these three:

• A house is not a home!
• A man is not a husband!
• A woman is not a wife!

Meaning:
• A house is a building; a home is where characters are shaped
• A man is a visitor; a husband is a shepherd
• A woman is a hireling; a wife is a keeper
…..from the above work out your own SALVATION with fear and trembling, because MARRIAGE is not a bed of roses!

tomakint: If I am privileged to advise intending couples I will ask them to ponder on these three:

• A house is not a home!
• A man is not a husband!
• A woman is not a wife!

Meaning:
• A house is a building; a home is where characters are shaped
• A man is a visitor; a husband is a shepherd
• A woman is a hireling; a wife is a keeper
…..from the above work out your own SALVATION with fear and trembling, because MARRIAGE is not a bed of roses!

and you have touched on another subject that baffles me, if marriage is not a bed of roses? why should we bother getting married na?

ok, we may get to that later. but er. . . is this what you're taught at the counseling class? also, a wife is a hireling? really?

...it depends but the truth from experience is that must of those principles/methods u'l learn will be forgotten within the 1st year of the real stuff/journey. People should stop being too scientific with marriage issues & avoid generalisation. Every marriage is peculiar & should be kept simple while noting that MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING is key to a successful marriage. Marriage is a covenant decision to dwell with the friend you like/love for life.

"...by wisdom a house is built but ESTABLISHED through UNDERSTANDING"

Marriage Success Tips:

-FAITH IN GOD
-PATIENCE
-MUTUAL COMMITMENT
-MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING
-MUTUAL TRUST
-MUTUAL RESPECT
-NO HOLDING BACK (..give/love & give some more)
-SPONTANEOUS COMMUNICATION (no reservations)
-QUALITY SEX
-etc

Does it work? I don't think so,most people won't put what they are being taught into use.

Most African marriage are endured,and not enjoyed.

ti-ebe:


and you have touched on another subject that baffles me, if marriage is not a bed of roses? why should we bother getting married na?

ok, we may get to that later. but er. . . is this what you're taught at the counseling class? also, a wife is a hireling? really?

Dude not a 'wife' I wrote 'a woman'! Read my post again!

You can only see far when you are on the shoulder of a giant likewise wisdom is profitable to direct. Marriage counselling is a pre-eye opener and marriage itself widens it.

tomakint:

Dude not a 'wife' I wrote 'a woman'! Read my post again!

no vex oya, so, how far with the bed of roses one na?

Joey82: the whole thing about marriage is complicated,
the more we know the less its working out.
sometimes i wonder, our parents didnt know half of what we know now
didnt date as much as we do now
didnt attend any marriage courses,
yet it all worked out better for them than it is working now.
i think we all need to work on our tolerance, that's the only ingredient that can make marriage work IMO.

u just on point, my mum nd dad neva attended such class, didnt date 4 long, yet nev

Marriage counselling? I've never experienced it.
I cannot allow a fellow man take kudos for the potentials God planted in me.

ti-ebe:
I think the topic explains what i need to know. for those who went through the compulsory marriage counseling some churches require before they marry a couple, I just want to know if you feel your marriage is any better because of it, the same or even worse?

Thanks.

i went for marriage counseling 3 yrs after my marriage and it was really worth it. All those ones before mariage na film trick. U guys have not really known each other before marriage at all even if u have been courting for years.

Yes, it did. When we have some issues to iron out we always refer to some of those things we learnt during our counseling before marriage.

ti-ebe:


no vex oya, so, how far with the bed of roses one na?

Marriage,just like life,is not a bed of roses. It might actually be stormy atimes but the ability of the couple to live above the problem is what matters.

ti-ebe:


and you have touched on another subject that baffles me, if marriage is not a bed of roses? why should we bother getting married na?

ok, we may get to that later. but er. . . is this what you're taught at the counseling class? also, a wife is a hireling? really?

Is life itself a bed of roses? Why dont you comit suicide

Ujujoan:

Is life itself a bed of roses? Why dont you comit suicide

i jus LUV d ans u gave him...on point

Ujujoan:

Is life itself a bed of roses? Why dont you comit suicide

Nairaland=info:

i jus LUV d ans u gave him...on point

life is definitely not a bed of roses. . . but my coming into the life is not by choice. but my going into marriage is wholly by choice. I hope you get my point? when one says 'i'm going to get a job in so-and-so company', people who know the company dont immediately say 'ha, working in so-and-so company is not a bed or roses o!'. but with marriage, its the singular most common view of it. with life you hear some pple say life's beautiful at least sometimes. but with marriage, its almost always 'marriage is not a bed of roses'.

If na so marriage be, then why will I open my eyes and go into something that is going to show me how 'it is not a bed of roses'. but we digress. how far the marriage counseling people?

ti-ebe:


no vex oya, so, how far with the bed of roses one na?

No vex too That's why you are a man

2pence:

My Dear stop misinforming people ,Marriage counselling is very important for intending marriage couples,it helps shape them to have an idea of what marriage is ,to prepare them cos marriage is a vocation,its a calling and its not everyone that's called for it and people must know this and be aware so as not get into mistakes that will bring annulment/divorce My dear I suggest you take that class before venturing into marriage,"not a must ooo" but iam just suggesting

There is nothing we will not hear; Marriage is now a calling?

Who does the calling?

Do you know what a calling means, really?