solidbroda: Its of no importance or use. Those who will break up will break-up and those who won't will not. That's life. Its like saying how important is mathematics while you study English.

I beg to disagree. Breaking up or not depends on how much effort is put in to make things work. Unless ofcouse you feel your partner is not worth the effort

Topeedo: I THINK ITS RUBBISH....THE COUNCELLIN IS USUALLY IMPROMTU, THEY TELL YOU THINGS U KNOW ALREADY( EXCEPT U ARE EXTRA STUPID, DEN U WONT KNOW ALREADY)...ITS MORE LIKE A RITUAL AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, ITS SOMETHING YOU U DO BEFORE THE CHURCH AGREES TO JOINING THE COUPLE, EVERYBODY HAS TO DO IT AS FAR AS CHURCH MARRIAGE IS CONCERNED...IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE

um . . .. but marriage is really about THINGS YOU KNOW ALREADY. I think what is stupid is expecting to hear SOMETHING BRAND SPANKING NEW from anyone in this world that has been in existence for well over 600 million years. Ever heard the phrase "there is nothing new under the sun"?

Anyone who goes into marriage thinking that there is some MYSTERY to having a happy marriage is seriously deluded and needs to get some therapy.

Joey82: the whole thing about marriage is complicated,
the more we know the less its working out.
sometimes i wonder, our parents didnt know half of what we know now
didnt date as much as we do now
didnt attend any marriage courses,
yet it all worked out better for them than it is working now.
i think we all need to work on our tolerance, that's the only ingredient that can make marriage work IMO.

Thank you Sir!

Well, our parents NEVER "think" the way we think today!

For example,
*[b]our parents respected the "marriage arrangement" where the father is the HEAD of the family!

*Our parents never required our Momma to work fulltime to support Daddy, compulsorily!

*Our parents never had FaceBook to cheat over their spouse using E-s.ex!

*Our parents dont open their legs for any man that can "change their wardrobe and buy them a Blackberry Curve"!

*Our Mothers dont throw their husbands out, over the slightest marital disagreement as has become the norm today (especially in the Western World)

*Our parents WERE NOT AFRAID TO DISCIPLINE THEIR CHILDREN.... for fear the children would dial 911..and parents get jail-time!
*Our married parents dont live in fear of one another, as spouse do nowadays, pretending all is well!

*Our parents never said "for better for worse, till death do us apart" while already "planning for a divorce and how much of the wealth they would get"!

*Our parents looked up to their own parents for guidance when the marriage gets troubled but what would a "single parent" who broke the family up, teach his/her own child, in such situation? U cant give what you dont have!!

*Our parents did not get carried-away by all these "Women's Right" nonsense! ...that create a "bigger irreparable rift" when husband and wife running into marital troubles!

*Our parents never got to the point where all "Mummy wants is child support payments from Daddy"... but does not want "Daddy in the life of the children"!

*Our parents, even when they fight (and they fight loads! ), knew that the family being together under ONE ROOF is sacrosanct! They would endure anything, for the sake of the children, to keep family intact!

*Our parents dont "plan and scheme" the way we do nowadays, just to prove that we are "educated and enlightened"!

*Even when "Daddy looses insanity" once in a while, the opportunity to "make-up" by begging Mummy (in a non-humiliating way) is always there to be availed of. Unlike now when any small madness results in the "One T-Shirt & Jeans" treatment![/b]

I can go on and on about how we have ruined that thing called marriage so much so that it is no longer attractive and is actually the worst decision anyone can make now!

We can still bring back the love and go back to our old ways .... if that is what we want
..But as for "Marriage Counseling" nowadays, they'll probably handout a leaflet about "How to make more money out of your break-up", to the marrying couples!

Its sad what we have turned this world into.

Lastpage!

It depends on the counsellor(s).

Not every man or woman who has been married for a many years is qualified to be a marriage counsellor.

If a couple is lucky to meet professonal and gifted marriage counsellors; it can make alot of possitive difference for couples having issues with their marriage and intending couples.

crusufixo: It has so far worked for me. I would advise anybody to go for the marriage class ( as it is refered to in the catholic church ) before marriage. You would be surprised at the things that you would learn

Like when couples are in the bedroom , they should lock the door and less groaning abi!

Marriage counseling is important/helpful before saying "I do" and after. You nd your partner both need a mentor, especially if you want to have a successful marriage.

Not all marriage councelling works,but dias dis relationship guru in OAU,he can hook u up,neida u'r male or female nd he fixes relationship,nd he can teach u how 2 get a girl or a guy...guyz dis guy is too good

SELFWORTH:


.... and applying it to your individual situation. Every marriage is unique. One size does NOT fit ALL.

Thank you.

SELFWORTH:


.... and applying it to your individual situation. Every marriage is unique. One size does NOT fit ALL.

There is no such thing as a UNIQUE marriage. Marriage is just what it is . . . marriage. What you have instead are two UNIQUE people(they were UNIQUE from the day of their birth and will remain so till they breath their last breath) who are in a Marriage(UN-UNIQUE situation) and need to come to an agreement on a case-by-case basis.

a1solution: MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS A BUSINESS. IF KNOW HOW TO BRAINWASH PEOPLE YOU MAKE YOUR CASH FROM IT, IF NOT IT DOESN'T CHANGE OR ADD ANYTHING TO THE FAMILY.

Your Opinion.
Does it convince me? No!
Why? I'll tell ya...
Your married younger sister comes to you crying, explaining to you how difficult things have become for her in her marriage. She confides in you, that's why she comes to you, and that puts you in the position of a counselor to help her save her marriage (or save her life if need be). Can you then be foolish to spin cash out of her desperation for help or advise her wrongly, or brainwash her? I guess not.
Everybody is a counselor though some are professionally trained and they charge for service rendered (but not in churches).
I attended group counseling once...it helped...I paid nobody!

I've not regretted following you, you're simply brilliant

lastpage:
Thank you Sir!

Well, our parents NEVER "think" the way we think today!

For example,
*[b]our parents respected the "marriage arrangement" where the father is the HEAD of the family!

*Our parents never required our Momma to work fulltime to support Daddy, compulsorily!

*Our parents never had FaceBook to cheat over their spouse using E-s.ex!

*Our parents dont open their legs for any man that can "change their wardrobe and buy them a Blackberry Curve"!

*Our Mothers dont throw their husbands out, over the slightest marital disagreement as has become the norm today (especially in the Western World)

*Our parents WERE NOT AFRAID TO DISCIPLINE THEIR CHILDREN.... for fear the children would dial 911..and parents get jail-time!
*Our married parents dont live in fear of one another, as spouse do nowadays, pretending all is well!

*Our parents never said "for better for worse, till death do us apart" while already "planning for a divorce and how much of the wealth they would get"!

*Our parents looked up to their own parents for guidance when the marriage gets troubled but what would a "single parent" who broke the family up, teach his/her own child, in such situation? U cant give what you dont have!!

*Our parents did not get carried-away by all these "Women's Right" nonsense! ...that create a "bigger irreparable rift" when husband and wife running into marital troubles!

*Our parents never got to the point where all "Mummy wants is child support payments from Daddy"... but does not want "Daddy in the life of the children"!

*Our parents, even when they fight (and they fight loads! ), knew that the family being together under ONE ROOF is sacrosanct! They would endure anything, for the sake of the children, to keep family intact!

*Our parents dont "plan and scheme" the way we do nowadays, just to prove that we are "educated and enlightened"!

*Even when "Daddy looses insanity" once in a while, the opportunity to "make-up" by begging Mummy (in a non-humiliating way) is always there to be availed of. Unlike now when any small madness results in the "One T-Shirt & Jeans" treatment![/b]

I can go on and on about how we have ruined that thing called marriage so much so that it is no longer attractive and is actually the worst decision anyone can make now!

We can still bring back the love and go back to our old ways .... if that is what we want
..But as for "Marriage Counseling" nowadays, they'll probably handout a leaflet about "How to make more money out of your break-up", to the marrying couples!

Its sad what we have turned this world into.

Lastpage!

our parent never know wat they call counselling yet they are still together after 40 years of marriage i can't immagine someone that just read one book written by one person somewere now tell u how to run your home,marriage can only be sustain First by God and the sustainnce of values to that come with it by taking reponsibilty for each other

jemmies: our parent never know wat they call counselling yet they are still together after 40 years of marriage i can't immagine someone that just read one book written by one person somewere now tell u how to run your home,marriage can only be sustain First by God and the sustainnce of values to that come with it by taking reponsibilty for each other

That is rubbish talk . . . please avoid topics you are not educated on. Counselling simply refers to the act of getting advice or opinions on issues from others.

In this day and age where people have realized that you do not simply have to rely on your immediate family for the advice you need, so they go out and pay third-parties for it. That is where you now have counsellors who are paid to listen and to help by, in most cases, offering you COMMON SENSE solutions to problems.

Even the Bible gives you so many examples of people who went out to seek counseling . . . from Abraham himself to David, and many of the other elders in the book. Even the teachers are advised to seek counselling when necessary. Please don't always think you can DRAG GOD down to your level first. Ensure you have a good understanding of the situation before you post please.

solidbroda: Its of no importance or use. Those who will break up will break-up and those who won't will not. That's life. Its like saying how important is mathematics while you study English.

if you studied discrete mathematics, you would learn languages, automata and grammars.

still not convinced o. There's no compelling evidence o

pheesayor: I've not regretted following you, you're simply brilliant

Hahaha! I think you got this muddled-up!!


I am the one FOLLOWING YOU!
In summary, you are outstanding and your contributions stand-out!

Lastpage!

Kobojunkie:

There is no such thing as a UNIQUE marriage. Marriage is just what it is . . . marriage. What you have instead are two UNIQUE people(they were UNIQUE from the day of their birth and will remain so till they breath their last breath) who are in a Marriage(UN-UNIQUE situation) and need to come to an agreement on a case-by-case basis.

Really

On which planet do you live on where every marriage is the same. My post said every marriage is unique because as you said it is made of " two UNIQUE people(they were UNIQUE from the day of their birth and will remain so till they breath their last breath)

You are contradicting yourself. If every human being is unique, how can those marriages made up of unique human beings be the same (un-unique) ?

SELFWORTH:

Really

On which planet do you live on where every marriage is the same. My post said every marriage is unique because as you said it is made of " two UNIQUE people(they were UNIQUE from the day of their birth and will remain so till they breath their last breath)

You are contradicting yourself. If every human being is unique, how can those marriages made up of unique human beings be the same (un-unique) ?

Again . .. .

Kobojunkie:

[size=14pt]There is no such thing as a UNIQUE marriage. Marriage is just what it is . . . marriage. What you have instead are two UNIQUE people(they were UNIQUE from the day of their birth and will remain so till they breath their last breath) who are in a Marriage(UN-UNIQUE situation) and need to come to an agreement on a case-by-case basis.[/size]

If you need to go back to school. please do so for your own good!

I just dey laugh o!

Okay, lets use some "mathematical Logic" to explain this:

AND Gates (a branch of Electronic Physics)

A and A (also written as A*A ) = A

Thus "Unique * Unique" = (will always be) Unique. QED!

Mix white paint and white paint for hundred years, you will ALWAYS get White Paint! QED!!

hope this helps

Lastpage!

Does anyone know any good Marriage Counsellors in Lagos?

Its of no importance or use. Those who will break up will break-up and those who won't will not. That's life.

it might help sometimes, but i dont believe counseling can replace individual mindsets and attitudes towards marriage.

logo77: It depends on the counsellor(s).

Not every man or woman who has been married for a many years is qualified to be a marriage counsellor.

you are quite right, kudos.

people tend to assume just because someone has been married for an amount of time, therefore they will make good marriage counselors?

it doesnt always work that way.

um . . .. but marriage is really about THINGS YOU KNOW ALREADY. I think what is stupid is expecting to hear SOMETHING BRAND SPANKING NEW from anyone in this world that has been in existence for well over 600 million years. Ever heard the phrase "there is nothing new under the sun"?

i tire, same things keep being repeated everyday on nl for donkey years, yet people always want to hear these same things over and over as if it keeps going in one ear and out the other.

Marriage counselling is as useless as the use the counselled put it to. Conversely, it is as useful as the use it is put to.

Not applicable. I have absolutely no problems with my marriage.
We are in the AGAPE phase, aka "LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF"!
Hallelujah!!!!!

LewsTherin: Marriage counselling is as useless as the use the counselled put it to. Conversely, it is as useful as the use it is put to.

On point.