₦airaland Forum

ebubeson:
The ladies of your own tribe are wonderful & awesome creatures of God.

If you have your view about the tribe with the finest set of ladies, you can contribute. If you feel its your tribe, you can put it.

I know that beauty is relative. And in the Eye of the Beholder and every other ''sermon'' that are thrown at one, when one tries to define beauty standards.

So this is based on my personal preference and experiences. Many, experiences. As per my own beauty standards that include facial symmetry, general body frame, weight, petiteness, femininity, etc.

1. Fulani /Hausa (Usually petite. Beautiful facial symmetry. Perfect height and size. Youthful appearance. Mildly toned physique. Lighter complexion for the fulanis, usually. Quiet and calm demeanor. Sophisticated conservatives when from wealthy home. Respectful. May NOT TYPICALLY HAVE voluptuous or curvaceous hips and breasts. I mean, nature doesn't really give everything. It will just be too unfair!!)

2. Benue/Tiv (Beautiful ebonies. Well carved/sculpted features. Takes extremely high risks with sexuality with high-risk sexual behavior.)

3. Igbo (Imo/Anambra majorly. Good waist to hip ratio. Considerable number with light skin tone. The rest look to me like those still close to our lost Neanderthals cousins. They hardly have cute legs too. Self centered. Hardly get satisfied if they havent cheated or taken advantage of you. Associate being greedy and being a common greedy thief to ''just being smart/sharp''. )

4. Edo (Bini. They have strong but beautiful facial features. Strong cheekbones. A bit athletic in build. Strong Stamina comparable to the AkwaIbom and Cross Rivers Ladies.)

5. Yoruba (Elegant. Sophisticated. Good waist to hip ratio. But they usually have very horrible hygiene behind their elegance and posh outward appearance. Usually with misplaced priorities. Not loyal and easy to betray you. Cowardly. Hardly ever has the back of anyone.)

6. Ijaws (Especially the Kalabaris. The most refined and broad minded girls of the Ijaw ethnic group. They have puppy eyes, well curved. Usually heavier in weight. But they want to do everything and anything a man can do. Very outspoken. Hardly know their place and will impose self where men are gathered.Takes high risks with sexuality- high risk sexual behavior )

LoneSoldier:
If you were given two options to choose one, which one will it be, Marriage or 50 Million Cash?

For me I choose 50 Million Cash.

Note: You can only choose one, if you choose 50 Million Cash you won't marry, and if you choose marriage you won't get that amount, so choose wisely.

I shall go with the 50 Million, please.

I'll cohabit and have kids.

Comfortableme:
Wait, una wey don marry how is it going? It's like the good wife's has been married off. Because na almost every day I dey see news of wife killing her husband, one even use knife cut her husband preak. Am in my 40s but let marriage go to dungeon. No wife, no kids am good. My mama no kill my papa make one woman no come make my family cry over me.
Ire ooo

Well

A few things are objectively factual about marriage, especially from the male perspective:

1. Children brought up in a happy and balanced home tend to thrive better on the average. Search for Research Papers on this if in doubt. So it is a better environment to have, raise and nurture kids.

2. Marriage leads to some form of ''order'' in the society. You can easily trace people to their father, mother, and get details like father's name, mother's maiden name, etc. Useful for law enforcement and general mass control and discipline of the population.

3. A happy marriage brings companionship, support, company and cooperation to increase the family's wealth, influence, power, network, net worth, status, etc.

4. Being catered for and nurtured at the home/domestic front. Having a clean, well managed, peaceful, and happy place to go back to.

5. Intrinsic reward that you are married and running the ''marriage project'' . Some form of bragging right and joy of having a family to go back home to daily.

But you see say each of the points above get one kain coma? E get a condition. E dey based on whether the marriage itself get peace or na where Afghanistan and Gaza come together to do meeting with Darfur.

Since it is based on both parties and many women are not in tune with playing the traditional roles. And many men lie that they can manage monogamy but also sleep around and many women are also sleeping around, the marriage turf is a battlefield of disappointment, turnmoil and wahala.

So, if you won't miss the possibilities of long term commitment, raising children in a home with one woman, having support and companionship, being taken care of as per the domestic front, etc. etc. Or if you have effective and efficient alternatives to enjoy these benefits, then you may not want to marry.

As for me, I do not intend to marry. To date, Yes. To marry, No. I date ladies, yes. One at a time. And I break up and end it peacefully. I have things in my life I am chasing to achieve. I am on a mission and on my own journey. You, the lady, you are coming as a passenger to join me, in MY JOURNEY. I wont stop the journey because of you. That wont happen. I have various destinations of progress and growth and achievements. It is not one. And yes, I tell them this fact from the beginning. 99% of the times, they didn't mind. From the virgins, to pastor daughters, to nuns, name it. But married women and children, daughters/sisters of family and friends, intoxicated women, etc. are all boundaries.

bigpicture001:
You have a young adult family of four children.. your daughter of about 22years got pregnant and brings it home...

As a father of the house what is your next line of action..?

- Inquire about the Father -Alleged.

- With wisdom, decipher if it was consensual. Do not trust any woman who is trying to avoid shame/embarrassment. I repeat, DO NOT TRUST THE STORY OR ACCOUNT OF ANY WOMAN WHO IS TRYING TO HIDE SHAME, EMBARRASSMENT, & DISGRACE. Do not ever. Use a lot of wisdom here.

- Take her to run medical tests for STIs/STDs. I mean, she had unprotected sex (and perhaps has been having) and now, it has manifested as a pregnancy.

- Contact the Family of the Boy and let them know about it.

- Inform the family that we will take care of the girl until the Kid is born

- We will run 2-3 DNA Tests to confirm paternity

- Inform the family of the confirmed father about our tradition - The father (when proven) has to accept for the child to bear his family name and also name the child with a first name. If they decline, we name the child our family name. If they decline, at this point the proven father will not have access for any form of custody until the child is grown and decides he/she wants to meet. NO YOU CANNOT FIGHT MY FAMILY. YOU WILL LOSE OR YOU WILL DIE.

- Continue to run health checks to ensure baby and mother are both fine.

- Plead with her Mum and bring Mature Female Aunts, Cousins and other relevant female family members to start preparing her for motherhood. Teaching her, educating her.

- Prepare a course of action for her education - To defer or to get a Nanny to assist while she finishes school.

- Ensure she takes full responsibility of raising and caring for the baby. A Nanny will only come in on a need by need basis. She must face the consequences of her decision.

- Continue to run health checks to ensure baby and mother are both fine.

- Open education/investment account for the baby.

- Train the baby on family and proper values, approaches to life, discipline, integrity, grit, perseverance, etc.

Chilipepper:
If you die today, who can unlock your phone?

Anyone can unlock my phone because my phone is not locked but some apps inside are locked.

Anyone.

Some app are kept in a folder and passworded -Banking Apps, Questrade, Weatlhsimple, Africhange, etc.

Social Media Apps are not. My life no be double standards.

Finally, not everyone password their phones/devices because they are being secretive or hiding skeletons and evidence. No. Once dated a single mother (widowed) who passworded her phone because of her two young kids. She gave me the password and informed me whenever she changed it. There are many reasons for information security beyond hiding nudes, lewd messages and so on.

Prettyangelng:
Please Nairalanders what will you do if you catch your loving father sleeping with your lovely wife
. .be honest because it's painful...

Absolutely nothing.

And why will this be shocking? Women aren't saints who do not have dark desires and kinks and so on. We are the one assuming, hoping, expecting and wishing that they are nice, wonderful princesses that cannot hurt a fly because they walk swaying left to right like they are going to break into two equal halves and because they wear a dress and seem physically weaker. There is nothing a man cannot do and there is nothing a woman cannot do. Besides, taboo type trysts like this are even the most intense for cheaters and betrayers.

Ok. So you see this happen..what do you do? Do you undo it? Can you undo it? I mean, what do you want to do? The vagina is hers. She feels that is how she wants to use it na, abi? Abi is it your own? Your father's private part is also his, he feels that is how he too wants to use it too. They are both adults and have decided that that is how they want to use their private parts. In pursuit of sexual satisfaction from each other.

Kill him? Not worth your freedom that you stand to lose.

Kill her? Not worth your freedom, you stand to lose.

You see that anger and rambunctious rants of how you will do this and how you will do that, when you dey ''awaiting trial'' for 10 years for Nigeria, your mind go come down and you go regret say if to say you know, you for just jejely leave matter to our brother and friend, Karma, with him Cousin, Dharma.

He simply stops being your father, and you stop being his son- immediately. You stop speaking to him. To you, he becomes dead immediately.

She also stops being your wife and you stop being her husband. To you, she also becomes dead immediately.

You can hide and cry and sob and wail and ask why it is happening to you (I wont). But the energy and resources you will save by cutting both of them off, use it and put into your life, business, investment and live a peaceful life minding your business.

Chilipepper:
Terkula Alukwase Fidelia posted!

Wedding Cancelled!!


Today was meant to be my wedding day, but instead, I stand here making a different announcement.

I just discovered that my ex-fiance has been sleeping with my best friend. This betrayal cuts deeper than words can explain, and it’s a red flag I cannot overlook.

I have choose not to settle for lies. I choose to leave in order to live!

Her decision. She is not a child. For a woman like her, it is Her responsibility to determine what she can accept or not accept. She is old enough to face whatever challenges and benefits of her decision(s).

No where is it written than a woman cannot leave a man.

We just hope she took the decision objectively and strong enough NOT TO EVER REGRET!

Nairaland can be a childish and funny place. Some ask if SHE WAS A VIRGIN and that if she is not a virgin she has no moral grounds to demand accountability from the man. Others are deducing that her friend is a reflection of her. That If she make a betrayer a best friend, then she too must have done things like this in the past to another woman’s man. Una well done o, Assistants to the Karmic Diaries. Awon Deputy Supervisors to the Keeper of the Akashic Records. Ndi Supervisors of Dharma Quality Assurance and Enforcement.

The world does not always work like how many of you are thinking and insinuating here. Otherwise we could then deduce that virgins would not have their husbands cheat on them then. Nature will just give them good men. Meanwhile if my experiences are anything, the husbands to virgins usually want to “preserve” their wives and have wild sex with side chics all around, while coming home to their nice, clean, angelic virgin. OR they don’t get the sizzling sex they get from side chics at home, hence to cure the boredom they go out.

I support her decision. If it is clear that they want to remain exclusively monogamous, then he went against this, it is well within her rights m. He didn’t do it with anyone else but her so called “best friend” - (A title I will never give to any human dead,alive to be born).

I mean She demanded it or strongly expected it, and the man accepted it as an expectation and a boundary in the relationship, then so be it.

As for me I won’t marry and don’t intend to. I am monogamous as long as we are together. But I keep my expectations very clear. I shall move on. Peacefully and amicably. That, I am very sure of. I let you know this fact ahead of time. I am NOT DATING TO MARRY ANY WOMAN. Nope, not dating to marry. I am dating for quality experiences.

SyrusdeHansome:
Last year we lost one of our family friends because of the Nigerian factor. He was a prostate cancer patient who was receiving treatment in a general hospital in my state. How did it happen? The week he had an appointment with his doctor the state government failed to pay retirees and as a retiree that had about 4 children in the university he had no money for the monthly checkup at the hospital and he couldn't meet up with the appointment.
To cut the long story short, he got paid the next week, went to the hospital to see his doc who wasn't on duty that day, met a nurse who told him she could help him do the doc's procedure on him which was done. That same night there was complications. He couldn't urinate and he died by midnight. This is one of the reasons I'm always annoyed when a Nigerian ask his fellow country man why he wants to travel out if he has upto 50 million naira in his account, knowing fully well that many people travel out for different reasons. I've lost many pple who could have easily survived outside Nigeria and yet the leaders who can't even treat common malaria in Nigeria would always tell us that all is well in the country and that we shouldn't complain.

Has Nigeria ever happened to you? If yes, can u narrate ur experience?

Yes in positive and negative ways.

Positives

-Free education primary
-Free dictation - Secondary
- Subsidized University Education
- Undergraduate Scholarship for B.Sc.
- Masters Scholarship overseas
- PhD Scholarship
- Well paying job - And I mean well paying
- Consulting Business
- Other businesses (School, Hotel, Lounge, RealEstate)
- Street smartness /survival instinct
-Doggedness, resilience, grit, perseverance

Negatives

- Mum died in a Government Hospital after being overdosed by Doctors - Yes you read me right. They gave her an overdose of an antibiotic by Pfizer.

- My first carry over in any university program was by a Lecturer in a Nigerian University because I called out her mistakes (more like ignorance) on the course she was teaching and the fact that she comes to class to brag about her husband and how wealthy he is. Yep you heard me right. As academically sound as I am, it shook me that someone can, out of malice, make me fail a course just like that. I retook the course and passed though. But for someone who considered a “C” as failure, it shocked me so much. I am over it now and just laugh about today.


When I look back, Nigeria has been more of a blessing to me. I cannot deny the blessing and opportunities that the country has provided me. OTHER PEOPLE MY HAVE EXPERIENCED A LOT MORE OF THE NEGATIVES. BUT FOR ME, IT HAS BEEN A LOT MORE POSITIVE. And for this I thank God.

And my prayer is I see the blessings and may the good sides of the country happen to me and my family, while we join hands to make the country work.

franchasng:
You are completely wrong bro.

Not every man is a disciplinarian.


Men who are disciplinarian are always a problem in marriage because they complain about everything and want to discipline everybody around them.


I am happily married for years now.

My wife knows I don't complain about anything at all, she knows this about me. She knows if I dont like a meal, I wont complain, I will rather claim that I am full after few bites or spoons lol, and she will get the signal and smile; I know you don't like the meal, so sorry hun, I know there is much pepper, etc, let me get you something else to eat, even without my approval she will quickly rush to get something else.


She knows my kids prefer my room to theirs or their Mom's, and she suggested several times that the room remains locked whenever I am not around but I always object that it should be kept open for the kids to use as they please. And you know kids, they will scatter everything in the room, my reading table, just everything. If I mistakenly come back earlier and meet the room scattered, I don't say a word, and immediately both the kids and their Mom will get the signal that Daddy is not happy and will immediately swing to action arranging things, kids packing their toys, story books, drawing boards, etc while their Mom arranges others, and within few minutes everywhere is tidied without me uttering a word lol.


My wife and kids have learned my way, including our domestic staffs, even my staffs at the office, they all know that I dont ever complain about things, if I dont like a situation, I keep silent and try organizing it myself and they will get the clear message.


My wife and kids know that if I am silent and not uttering a word, it means something is wrong and everybody will become worried lol.


If I am silent for some time, not uttering a word, my son will start worrying, Daddy why dont you want to say something, Daddy talk, Daddy I am sorry, it's not me its Linlin that did it, she was the one that, bla bla bla and they will start confessing who did what without me asking.



So don't take liberal-minded and peaceloving men's silence or calmness for foolishness, their calmness and silence speak louder than violent quarrels and verbal abuse


I bless God for creating me the way He did because I hardly have issues or disagreement with people. I get along with people easily and I overlook people's weaknesses easily. I always have this natural gift of accommodating people no matter how horrible others think they are, I have room in my heart to accommodate all kinds of people.


The only place I tend to argue with people is online and especially on political matters because I always feel disgusted with Nigeria's overall situation haven been to working nations where it seems like paradise, so when I see Nigerians applaud Nigerian government, leaders and the Nigerian situation despite knowing that Nigeria is not doing well, I feel disgusted

Interesting.

So at least You communicate boundaries in your own unique way, which is even very masculine. You mention maids, workers, etc. Assuming without conceding that you have other things, then you are a person of good value. Which sensible woman wants to lose that? Your family , they know what you do not like. They immediately adjust without you needing to shout. They pick off of the energy. Good for you. But as much as you described yourself as peaceful, THEY GET THE POINT WHEN THERE IS A POINT TO BE GOTTEN. They know your likes and dislikes.

Nowhere would I advise a man to get into a verbal sparing match. You maintain your boundary through your body language. In the past, our parents communicated boundaries by mere looks. You got the message immediately and adjusted your act. You knew consequences will follow. This is being quarrelsome or opposite of being quiet. I will never advise that men set and enforce boundaries through shouting and quarrelling and fighting with a woman. It is childish and even brings you down to a level you should not come down to. Mention or communicate what you don't like. But never let boundaries be crossed. I cannot tell men to shout and quarrel when at the same time I advise that one of the ways to create value is not to even engage in such. It is not the severity of punishment that deters crime, IT IS THE GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL BE CAUGHT REGARDLESS, THAT ACTUALLY DOES.

davodyguy:
No matter who the governor is in Lagos, I think there's a template of pace setting that each serving governor always follow and would try to out do the previous governor.

This is what leadership should be about and something all state should follow

Bola Tinubu as Governor was better than Buba Marwa

Fashola, did better than Tinubu

Ambode tried so much, but had just 4 years

Sanwoolu took over and did things Ambode didn't do like the railway.

Next Governor should know he can't settle for less.

Unlike Ogun Stare, that previous governor is always better than incumbent. They take leadership backwards in some states in Nigeria

.


Facts as per today. It may not be all sunshine and daisies in Summer. But it is still the Nigerian Center of Excellence.

Many other States have the riverine/marine potential to do something with and work with. They have not explored these. Delta, Bayelsa and especially, Rivers State. Their water ways aren't also very secure either.

Sunnyshinylight:
A female is made from the male. The complete set is called man.

The male carries the complete self control and is not easily sway, but a female can be deceived many times and again and more.

She gave him the fruit because she was on a mission to destroy the man, the unit. Remember Job's wife, she said curse God and die. And Job reminder her that she speaks like one of foolish women.

If the biblical Jewish fairytales are anything to go by, She was a woman left to run renegade and entertain the devil. There were no boundaries, and hers was unguarded behavior and actions unto perdition. She wanted more and wanted different. And Adam showing the man's irresponsible weakness to a woman, lost his sense of reasoning and allowed himself to be influenced by her feminine wiles.

And even after God passed judgment in Genesis 3:16 "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you'', men still fail to lead women, draw and enforce boundaries, instead they are begging them, letting them loose without accountability, validating them here and there, and allowing them to run renegade.

Till today if you know how to present ''MORE'' and ''DIFFERENT'' to a woman..any woman: whether pastor wife o, mummy G.O. o, pastor daughter o, Aunty convent sister o, married woman o, single virgin o, catholic Nun o, runs girl o, it wont matter, you will likely succeed. Know what they want more of and what they are bored with. In all my experience the most difficult woman to seduce is the one who UNDERSTANDS THIS ABOUT HER NATURE AND IS VERY AWARE OF THIS DANGEROUS NATURE OF THEIRS, FIGHTS AND DEFEATS THE TEMPTATION, AND BECOMES VERY CONTENTED. The woman who successfully overrides the desire for more and different and does not truly want these. I have met only one, and even after kissing her, she said, ''personally, for the sake of my knowing about myself and being a woman, ''T'', you are such an interesting person that the experience with you would have been wild, BUT I AM VERY CONTENTED BY THE STRENGTH OF MY OWN SELF DISCIPLINE.....AND TO GUARD MYSELF PLEASE I DON'T WANT YOU TO PUT FURTHER PRESSURE...AND I WILL ALSO FIGHT THE URGE AND TRY NOT SPEAK OF THIS WITH YOU EVER AGAIN''. I respected her decision. No, not all women are the same- There are a few exceptions. ''Cee'' I hope you are happy wherever you are.

No one should cheat. Especially If you agree or expect to be monogamous, try to stick to it. Live by and stand on your truth and your word.

If you cannot continue, leave the relationship. It is that simple.

Na una dey carry una whole life put for so-called relationships.

I do not plan to be monogamous forever. When I am with you, I am monogamous by choice based on calculation. Knowing this, I will also not accept cheating while you are with me. But I shall leave eventually. If I even consider cheating and let us assume that I do it, then know I am leaving. That is my choice. I will never marry you. I see no benefits in/from/of marriage. So forget that one. I know after everything you give to women, two things will be outstanding- Women will always want MORE and will forever also want DIFFERENT/VARIETY. If I can't give you more and different, and you so desire it, then also let me know and move along quietly.

So get to the level where the 1 minute you give women, they appreciate it. Keep to your word and stop sneaking up and down, cheating. If you aren't capable of being monogamous, then plan your life not to be and make it known.

BlackViper:
https://nypost.com/2025/09/26/lifestyle/bay-area-single-woman-42-buys-marry-me-billboards-in-last-ditch-effort-to-meet-mate/

"In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, 'We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!'".

Everrich96:
I fell in love with a single mom but she had greater worries as touching our 3yrs age difference and my stability (she's doing better), but I'm not doing that bad either. I earn 6figures monthly.. About her concerns of our age and what society would say, I had allay those fears by letting her know that I don't care and my mom is also supportive of my decisions. She's hot tempered and I'm very calm
We discussed our differences in character and age before agreeing to date. She's never been with a younger guy and she's been through a couple of heart breaks , hence making it difficult to trust me and my motives. She's unsure of me as I'm in my late 20's . But my intentions are true.

The problem we face now is that, she's mostly unforgiving and everytime there's a conflict she avoids talking about it . She's not expressive and shuts down mostly when I get angry or probably complain about some stuffs. We had a misunderstanding and I kinda accused her of being with someone else, she shut down and went ghost. Right now, what she's holding against me is that I wrongly accused her because she let her guard and walls down for me. t's been 6days of her ignoring my calls and texts. I've done everything I could to let her know I was sorry . My last card is to go see her which I know is a dangerous mission.

But honestly I dunno what to do. I feel like letting go at this point. Pls naira landers, what would u have me do in a case like this? I love this woman.

Na you be Woman. Na she be Man. You just read wetin you type here. E show say na she be the Man and na you be Woman na. You are still calling, texting, probably begging and she is ingoring. And you are still doing it.

The dynamic you have painted, she is the Man and you are the Woman. That is the dynamic. You are the one begging and explaining and convincing her how ''age is just a number''. You dey allow used old model car disturb your life when you get opportunity to work and save to get newer brands.

The value you carry is below hers, and you are replaceable. Easily. She know say you go beg and fret and fear once she lock up. E good to get value o. Haha.

See, ehn, I fit no stop you from cheating o, as a woman. Women among everything you do for them, you can hardly give them MORE every time, and you will never ever be able to give them DIFFERENT. So to me, na your Toto, use am do wetin you wan use am do. But you see direct Disrespect, Disloyalty and Challenge of my Leadership, naaah. And as per the cheating sef once I sense am or know, nothing will change the outcome!

Lol, so what else is there again to do na?

1. Tell her you do not like her attitude whenever you have issues, and mean it. Have a meaningful discussion with her and let her know (that is if fear no go kill you). Next time she does this, walk away from her and give her room. If she moves on, then move on. Una umbilical cord no dey tied together. If she ghosts you, face your life. NOTE: Dont go quarrelling and shouting and fighting with her. Once you tell her you don't like it. Say no more. Learn the power of silence.

2. Do nothing, manage and suffer/wonder/worry in silence.

3. Realize she will/might never respect you and walk away now with Dignity and Self Respect Intact.

You treated her like the prize. You have to risk changing this; or loosing her; or suffer it in silence.

Mrdealer4all:
I was able to raise and saved 8.m in my savings account since August for japa purpose. You mean january 2026, this govt will remov 20 percent from the money or what. .

Since I finish school this govt no give me job or ask me how i take they feed for years.
They never contribute 1 kobo in my life.

Money when i suffer save to use and Japa.
They will come and take my 20 percent ..
Abeg tell them make dey no tri am abeg

You are all funny people.

Especially with all these ''tell them not to try it o''. There is nothing any Nigerian will do but adjust to itas usual. I triple dare anyone. No one protested much when it was being read and passed. Anyway, see Jude Bella. He tried in explaining it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCrN7RF2U8U .

But she is correct.

If a man does not care, then he does not bother you. She didn’t lie. Let us not let anger, hatred or bias make us miss the message.

This is a fact. A man who does not really care how his house is or a man who is afraid to demand that his house be kept clean and tidy, such a man will not be much of a trouble to any woman. The logic is there and real.


The question can then be, ''What type of man goes out, comes back and sees his house in a mess with a wife at home and does not care''? From the scenario she painted. What type of “Man” will accept that ?

Show me that man, and I will show you a low value man without discipline. A man without a strong, respectable network of friends. A man without shame. A man without order in his life. A man who does not demand accountability because he himself lacks it. A man she will call a whimp and she will eventually cheat on with someone who demands accountability from her.

As per a man bickering with women, she is also very correct. A proper man should not do this. It devalues you. Totally. Are you a market woman? Instruct but do not engage in exchange of words. Instruct. This is how I want this to be done, etc etc. Then inform it is not negotiable. If she shouts, yells, screams, convulses, etc CALMLY REPEAT THE BOUNDARY AND REMAIN CALM.

A sensible man creates boundaries and enforces them, and never renegotiates them. Calling out a boundary MUST NOT INVOLVE Shouting and quarrelling. Don’t get into arguments with her, especially with logic and facts. Tell her once and enforce it. Remove time, remove resources, remove protection, remove provision, remove validation. No reaction/overreaction IS YOUR TRUE WEAPON. But how do you do these things when you do not have value way above her. If you can be easily replaced, then all you have is your self resect. Keep that intact and walk away from a woman who does not respect your boundaries. You are a man and easily manipulated to lose emotional control with someone you are to lead? Don't bring yourself down to that level. Why should I waste energy speaking with logic to a brain and mind run by emotions? Choose your words wisely. Not too much talk. Don’t argue like a child.

spicykev:
These 4 Gehgeh Advise Will Ruin Your Relationship


Credit:
Local wisdom
Facebook creator

So it is You that will come and define reality for men....This your post here defines reality? Because you typed the letters R,E,A,L,I,T and Y ?Ok o!

I had to go check out this so called ''Gehgeh''.

Not Gehgeh or any random person will come to define reality.

MEN, LOOK AROUND YOU. WHAT DO YOU SEE? WHAT IS MAJORLY HAPPENING? WHAT ARE YOU GENERALLY HEARING? OBSERVING? NOTICING? WHAT IS YOUR TRUTH AND REALITY WHEN YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP? WHAT PAST AND PRESENT PATTERNS DID/DO YOU NOTICE.? USE THESE TO DECIDE WHAT TO BELIEVE IN OR NOT. THAT IS WISDOM.


Gehgeh or not, if you like ignore the fact that women want to feel secure and not this situation that is commonly painted that overlooks women's core desires for security, resources, and an "unbreakable man" who doesn't crumble under the slightest form of pressure. Women are hardly long-suffering. For a people that always want MORE and always looking for DIFFERENT, there is nothing specially angelic about women. Your openness does not bring support but invites judgment and exit. They aren't little angels incapable of wickedness. Just as many men are horrible, so are many women. In fact, looking for MORE and never being satisfied started the expulsion from Eden. Satan wait until when man no dey house, him come scatter everything. When man come back na we no know the full dialog, whether she tell am say ''nothing for you this night'', baba come chop fruit.

The thing is that many women sell and project this idea of being incapable of wickedness, and many men buy it. Deal with them, know the risks and protect yourself with wisdom, expecting nothing, expecting anything and expecting everything. If you feel you don't need to ''protect'' yourself, then dont. People hardly attend the wake ceremony of a suicide.

Besides, if you are married, and you are both partners in a business, give her 20% shares and keep 80% and let her run the business. After all, aren't you both partners? So why set up a registered business in her name 100%? If you so decide to, it is also your choice. Then expect anything and accept it.

Paying of the bride price is traditional. Even though it is annoying that you are paying premium for an overused product, where you cannot even claim tear rubber. However, the joke is on the men. You cannot sleep with anything and everything and expect that yours will be spared. The Gehgeh guy or not, when a man in Nigeria is ready to get married, no one needs to tell him that he needs to do what is required and necessary as per tradition. And 100 Gehgehs will not stop this.

Transactional relationships are common. Yes. The women and men made it that way, but I blame the men. Men placed women on a pedestal, praised them for having a private part, and validated and gave them gifts just for existing as women and just for the hopes of sex and company. The women allowed this get to their heads and kept men for various reasons around them. Many men are getting wiser. They have decided not to take any woman seriously. We will see where this will progress to. One thing is sure, women are getting independent financially and the world is changing. They are doing ''Virtual Assistants'' for 10 USD Per hour on upwork and so on. So to them, they now have money. The ''I dont need a man'' thing will be there and get worse in Nigeria. There will be the ''I dont need a man'' thing on one hand versus the natural biological clock and societal expectations on the other hand. Many of these women will seek men who are way above them, and many of their fellow women will also look for these few men. But these men knowing women AND THEIR HYPERGAMY will never settle for one. Why settle when you have a lot of options? Make una sha ready for many ''baby mamas'' by a few set of men. Any man that can focus on building his value will ''enjoy''.

DyshApp:
A heartwarming yet controversial moment just unfolded on X, formerly known as Twitter, when a man made a public proposal to his partner in an open restaurant, prompting both applause and debate across social media.

The romantic gesture, witnessed by friends, family, and onlookers, showcased his commitment and love, but also sparked discussions about how bold he was to make such public displays of affection.

While many applaud the man for his courage and the authenticity of his love, others questioned whether such proposals should be done publicly, citing privacy concerns and potential social media scrutiny.

This proposal has ignited a conversation about inclusivity, representation, and how society perceives relationships involving people of different statures. Many supporters highlighted that love transcends physical differences and applauded the couple for their unapologetic celebration of their bond.

Firstly, I am not having a white wedding. Traditional and perhaps the Registry/Local Government.

Let us even assume I was brainwashed enough to adopt this, ''I wont get down on one knee for any woman born of another man and woman''.

For the women in my life who are on nairaland and who have heard me say the above saying of mine, they'll probably now guess who I am with this Moniker.

ideologies:
Lagos was lit up this past weekend as Pastor Bolaji Idowu, Lead Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Center, hosted what many are now calling the largest singles gathering in Lagos — the Singles Connect Conference.

Over 8,500 singles packed the Harvesters International Headquarters, beside grand view hotel ,Ologolo, Lekki.

The atmosphere was electric powerful worship, deep prayers, and real conversations about love, marriage, career, healing, and finding purpose as a single person.

According to many who attended, this wasn’t just another church program.

Testimonies have already started rolling in — from answered prayers about marriage, clarity for relationships, emotional healings

See video here -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ukzlTyLqy0

MEN ARE THE PRIZE.

Na una dey allow woman do una anyhow.

In fact Genesis 3:16 as a biblical passage, God addresses the woman, stating, "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you". This signified a new dynamic in relationships between men and women, a consequence of the woman's wahala of never being satisfied and looking for more. The verse describes a shift from the original harmony of Eden to a power struggle within marriage, where the wife's desire will be for her husband but the husband will dominate. She will try to control, but the husband will dominate.

Na una dey allow women do una anyhow. Some of una just dey addicted to sex and ejaculation. Dey mumu for woman. Chase Value and these women will pray for you. And when it is time to choose open your eyes and choose wisely from the uncorrupted. If they are all corrupt then expect nothing from them other than being able to cater for you and your offspring. If you no see any woman, then NO MARRY. Born pikin, then enjoy your life. And no go where dem go give woman power to take half your shit for child support, then she go use your money go club, while pikin dey suffer for house.

cutecommend:
How can you sleep with your Exes multiple times during dating and expect to be automatically a faithful and loving wife in marriage? Some weddings you may have seen with couples dancing, celebrating e.t.c, may just be that the lady doing the wedding just had sex with her EX few days to the wedding day. She may even cry tears of joy on the wedding day, while her EX may be a wedding guest mocking the husband that is probably dancing so well in the wedding.

Again, some caring husbands who may have pampered their wives during pregnancy, stood by her during labour, probably cried tears of joy after child birth, may just be doing so for another man's child.

As a lady, you may need to prayerfully cut-off ties with your EX or past sexual partners, and you may need to prayerful undo the impact your past sexual escapades may do to your marriage.

1. Women are not the innocent angels we take them to be. Everything we hope women to be, they are the opposite.

2. Anything a man is capable of, a woman is. Just that they are not as open and as brazen as it will be high social cost.

3. Do men sleep with exes and so on? Yes? So a woman can as well.

4. Do men sleep with exes and go and tell their to be brides that I just slept with my Ex? No. Women can and will do it too and not tell. In fact they keep secrets more than men. They walk and tread carefully, more than the men.

Na una dey hope say women na good people or expect say women suppose to be good people, because society scare them say if dem behave one kind dem no go marry or dem go die or dem go kill them. Na him make dem quiet o. If not Women na Devils too. But na wishful thinking. Liken women to pastors or reverends daughter wey dey quiet for house, but outside na Kura and Criminal! Exactly.

Nothing surprises God.

EdonhappenTv:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrxEw0qgz_Y

A video of a white teacher singing a “monkey” birthday song to a six-year-old Black pupil has sparked widespread outrage on social media, with many describing the act as racist and demeaning.

The incident, which reportedly occurred during a classroom birthday celebration, shows the teacher leading a chant that repeatedly referred to the child as a “monkey.” The footage quickly went viral, prompting condemnation from parents, activists, and online communities who argue that the act reinforces racial stereotypes.

Civil rights advocates have called for disciplinary action against the teacher, stressing that such behavior has no place in schools and can cause lasting emotional harm to young children.

School authorities say they are aware of the incident and have launched an investigation. Meanwhile, the video continues to circulate online, fueling heated debates about racism, cultural sensitivity, and accountability in education.

https://saharareporters.com/2025/10/02/us-school-white-teacher-sings-you-look-monkey-song-black-boy-celebrating-sixth-birthday

Many parents teasingly call their kids ''You little monkey''.....''You little spider monkey'' .

Black, white, brown, Nigerians, etc. Whether she used pig, monkey, donkey, etc. someone would still be offended. The teacher, knowing people are willing to capitalize on this nonsense should probably have displayed some restraint. But who wants to be so soft that people walk on eggshells around you.

SultanOfPuna:
You are contradicting yourself
She gave me sex countless times freely and you say they don't just give it freely.
the idea that a girl is a slut because she sleep with many guys is a stereotype. Just like saying every guy with dreadlock is a cultist or yahoo boy.

Hahahaha

That she gave you free sex, good for you and it served a motive. To you that motive may not make sense. Just because you don’t know what it is doesn’t mean it doesn’t or can’t exist. Whatever that was. She gave you freely so she had sex freely so she gave free sex. Now that is a woman who with you does not care about your judgement of her. She has sex many times which means she loves sex. To you she gave free sex. It served a motive. To other men, she makes them wait and beg, she has more to gain. You are something used to scratch to stop an itch. And she doesn’t care what your opinion of her is. You probably don’t matter in the long and grand scheme of things.

I guarantee you that when she meets Dangote’s son and he hints that he wants a girl who doesn’t give out sex freely it will serve her objectives to curate herself to fit this person he says he wants. You were an object to satisfy carnal cravings. Propose to that girl and she won’t be happy to say Yes. I can bet this woman is not your wife and even if you propose she won’t say yes with all her mind and heart.

Women love sex as much as men. Perhaps even more. But it doesn’t serve them to go on a Hot nymphomaniac spree. Men love sex too but it doesn’t make all men go raping women and and spending all their lives in whorehouses.

For a man it is even a thing of prestige being the man that many women want and can have and has had many women. It is not always so for a woman.

Dpsychologist:
Marriage is one topic that will never stop shaking tables, and today, we’re going to drag one uncomfortable truth into the open.

👉 Many women don’t actually marry the man they truly love or feel sexually attracted to.
👉 Instead, they marry the man who is ready — the one with money, stability, and seriousness, even if their heart isn’t fully in it.

After the wedding, sex becomes a duty — something she tolerates just to have children. But once she’s done giving birth, the pretending ends. No more intimacy, no more affection, no more spark. What’s left? A cold partnership where both partners are simply co-parenting under the same roof.

This raises tough questions:

Is marriage in today’s world really about love, or just about timing and convenience?

Can attraction and passion be “manufactured” after marriage?

Is society’s pressure forcing too many people into unions built on endurance rather than happiness?

And for men: are you sure the woman you married actually desired you — or just settled because you were available?

The truth is, pretense in marriage always has an expiry date. Once the acting is over, reality kicks in. That’s why many homes lose their intimacy after kids arrive.

So, Nairalanders, over to you 👇:
Do women really marry who they love — or just who is ready?
And men, how do you know you weren’t just “the available option”?

Let’s debate this. No holding back.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE. THE WORD IS THE MOST ABUSED WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS ALL TRANSACTIONAL. WOMEN WANT MEN FOR SPECIFIC THINGS.MEN WANT WOMEN FOR SPECIFIC THINGS. IT HAS CONDITIONS AND TRANSACTIONAL. If you cannot provide immediate security, have power and have privilege that will serve her survival instincts that her needs will be met, she will hardly value you. Unless you serve other purposes, like perhaps some raw primal sexual experience or to remove shame of not being married -but most women will not consider that as something for long-lasting survival and sustenance. Also, a woman's loyalty doesn't always follow or depends on resources, either; most women will still cheat on a man who provides resources and stability. HER WEAKNESS WAS, IS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE WANTING MORE AND WANTING DIFFERENT.

The above out of the way. We know that more men will willfully marry down than up. While usually, most women want to marry up. Marriage is viewed more as a necessity and goal for the women. The pressure is more. While few men also settle because some women are out of their league, most men naturally do not want a woman who is the prize. They assume such women do not come with the loyalty, obedience and respect that they want. And they assume a woman lower than them come with these qualities.

But now we know that values change, intentions can be hidden, and you cannot control a mate who wants to cheat. Big mistake is believing women aren’t capable of everything. Man is capable of . In fact, many women curate the side of them they want you to see to increase their value and compatibility. When they are tired of the act, when the purpose is majorly achieved, their true selves come out. Many men do this, the problem is men assume WOMEN CANT, SHOULD BE INCAPABLE OF, or SHOULDN'T AT ALL.

I see a lot of chat GPT prompt answers here and in Nairaland. There is someone who is fond of using chatgpt to argue. And ChatGPT is still a ''stupid computer'' that is influenced by the data presented to it, whether factual or false data. Haha.

SultanOfPuna:
Another BIG FAT LIE
We are not quarreling. I just don't like misinformation

Go to Europe and see the level of hornynes of white men. They are more sexual addicted to porn and Bdsm more than Nigerian guys.
Yet there women DO NOT WEAPONIZE SEX

Infact a white guy was caught masturbating in public metro train. This guys are sex freaks but yet their women still give out sex freely.

As for using the analogy of smelly looking guys been denied entry as gatekeeper.

I know a guy who is very very neat he studied medicine. Very fit and handsome
One very pretty white girl rejected that clean handsome well dressed guy and slept with me with my disorganized apartment.

Like I said WOMEN ARE VERY SELECTIVE
She can reject the most handsome clean guy and sleep with a rough looking agbero. She is the one who chooses and their is no criteria. It's all based on her emotions.
But me I was reckless with unkept beards and not clean yet she slept with me countless times and showed me DM of that guy still shooting his shoot at her.


As for the analogy of restaurant.
I have seen women give mad men homeless men and beggars food in PUBLIC to eat but not inside their restaurant. They put it in takeaway plate or nylon and give them. Everyone sees them do it but That doesn't stop customers tripping into her shop. Infact they see it as a sign of a good motherly woman.
But a woman in secret of bedroom where nobody will see or judge her will still deny a very clean handsome guy sex. With excuse of reputation?? Are you sexing on public??
Private something that nobody will know about you are saying scared of her reputation
That's just a flimsy excuse

You can't open your mouth and say Women love sex more than men and still say but they only select who they want to have sex with. It's nonesense

Men do not select who they have sex with
Men can sex ugly woman with amputed leg
Men can sex fat ugly girls
Because Men love Sex. Simple!!
But Women are very selective and her criteria is not straightforward

Men hardly decline sex offers from women
Women decline sex offers like water

If a girl go and ask 4 random guys if they want to sex her. 3 out of 4 will agree immediately
But let a man go and ask 4 random girls.
He will be rejected with slap sef

Therefore men enjoy sex more because they have nothing to lose.

Lol you are trying to make a point yet contradicting yourself. And it is just funny.

I also don’t like misinformation, but the difference is that I am wise enough not to start lashing out and practically loosing my cool about it on a forum. Lol. Just a women love sex but are wise enough not to just start dashing it out to Everyman that brings out his P,E, N,I,S .

I believe in proper presentation of opinions. Not arguments. Presentation of opinions. And I am entitled to my opinions if you would agree. And it is still a right of mine to air them. No one made anyone the opinion police.

Once again Women love sex, as much as men or even more. But what will such a woman be? If she came out to start giving it to you just because she loves it? Men are free to be freaky and bold and brazen and reckless. They are usually the ones with wealth, power, influence and prestige and resources. Their sexual market value doesn’t diminish for being men whores. So, we go crazy, run renegade and act bizarre. Like the guy jacking off in public that you mentioned. A few Nigerian men have also disgraced themselves on Okada and in public buses. But the fact that all men love sex does not make men go to such extremes. So men have unguarded sexual desires and are more expressive because they have little at stake. After the deed, they can leave the woman and walk away, they might not call. They’ll move on. He is the champ. She is the LovePeddler/slut. Me don’t have walk of shame.

The sexual experience is sweet for both. In fact the women even have more intense orgasms (if the man they are with knows what he is doing). But satisfaction is easier for the men. Consequences easier for men. The male mindset is just do it.

She slept with you countless times. Exactly. Women love sex just as much as men or even more. They just don’t freely give it. It is too risky. But she slept with you countless times Abi Exactly.

And who says their women do not weaponize sex. I don’t know where you got this from. In fact it is the European women that taught Nigerian Women to weaponize sex. In the past which woman dared to? But with exposure, modernization, the internet, women are learning. And like everything in Nigeria we learn it and over do it to our own ruin. But I digress.

So, Women Love Sex, as much as men do, perhaps even more. But I am sorry to inform that they are usually only wiser and know that it can be put to better use. Serve their financial, emotional, sexual, safety and security needs and wants. When supply is too much price and value drops. Hence the trader loves trading but will still hoard to keep value up.

As for the women you claim entertain beggars with take-away packs in nylon, why does she not invite them in to sit? That restaurant is her body. She can flirt with you and give you fake prospects to make you drool. But she won’t allow you in. If she does allow you in then there is something it serves her. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love to let you in, but she could gain more with a bit more self control. She loves sex as much as you, she needs to be smart and calculating.

SultanOfPuna:
That reputation thing still doesn't make sense at all. Let me explain

Girls in general DO NOT LOVE SEX MORE THAN MEN. That was the only point I tried to correct

Girls are very very selective with who they have sex with. Nothing like reputation forgot all that crap.
Young girls going for older sugar daddies don't care about reputation. That thing is not an excuse.

From my experience.
If a girl say she must sleep with you. SHE WILL DO EVERYTHING IN HER POWER TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. Nothing like reputation.

You will find yourself in a very private location only both of you in the bed. You are feeling hooorny and you ask her for sex. And she deny it. How does reputation matter??
When only both of you are in secret private place, where nobody will see you or judge you

Forget all those excuses you give for women.

I have been to europen country where it is very very easy for them to sex you if they like you on the surface.
They give sex freely if they like you.

Over here Nigerian girls will like you to the moon and back but will deny you sex and play games with you to make you chase her more.

So it angers me when you say women like sex more than men.
When we know that even married men are being denied sex by their wives who have weaponized sex withloding it and making the man go to brothel or cheat outside.

That statement is a big lie from hell

What you should say is A woman is the gatekeeper of sex!!
It is her that select and decide who will enter

And from what we see
They only allow few to enter so you can't come here and say they love sex more than men when women are extremely selective of who enters their vj

Well if you notice, I am not quarreling. And God knows no exchange on Nairaland will make me angry. I mean to what gain and to achieve what? It will serve no purpose at all.

Now the fact that I don’t allow any beggar and stranger into my restaurant does not mean I don’t like my restaurant business or don’t like serving people or don’t like cooking and don’t like food. I enjoy my restaurant business. I love serving people. But while I love this act of service, I don’t also like Homeless stinky dirty beggars to always troupe into my restaurant. Many of them who want to eat for free, stain my chairs, poop in the restaurant and spoil the reputation of my business. What will people say and how will other good customers react? Meanwhile, I see Kemi and Anita their restaurants are thriving with big and good customers and their business is respected. They select those that come in and in fact if you are not well dressed you cannot come into the compound.

I am the gatekeeper of an amusement park, I even enjoy the rides as much as and perhaps even more than the regular guests. As gate keeper I see all manner of people beg to come in but my job and responsibility is to ensure that those that come in meet certain criteria (tickets, etc) otherwise I loose my job. Will I say because I also LOVE the rides, I will then leave my job, get on the rides at will and not control those who come in, then stand the chance of loosing my job?

A woman weaponizes sex because she feels men have no self control for it or she has lost all desire and respect for you. BUT DOES THAT MEAN SHE IS NOT GETTING SEX ELSEWHERE? Nigerian girls use sex as a form of value for transactions and as a means/unit of exchange, because you have desperate porn addicted, sex and ejaculation addicted men who are willing to allow themselves be played. They allow few enter because they are selective and they stand to gain more by being selective. They are wiser!

I mean many men secretly wish they (women) would just freely open their legs yakata for us on the street and in corners and beg us to penetrate them, but SEX is not the only thing for a quality life that a woman desires. Love of food and starvation are 2 different things. I love food doesn’t mean I’ll eat dead rotten rat meat. Or are we saying that IF YOU CLAIM THAT YOU LOVE FOOD YOU MUST ALSO EAT ANYTHING PRESENTED BEFORE YOU? EVEN DEAD ROASTED ROTTEN RATS OR HUMAN FLESH? I know gluttons who will not eat dog meat. I know people who can kill for pepper soup, but when it was made with snake meat they ran away.

So, as usual with me. I’ll leave my opinions and allow those who come across our discussion to see that we shared and our unique opinions on the matter.

Meedon:
MGTOW

Well maybe and then maybe not..MGTOW.

It is factual and real. It is just how it is.

Remember when Nancy Friday published “My Secret Garden”? The world was almost shocked to coma that women had sexual fantasies? That women, each one, has a sexual kink from the basic to the crazy to the just weird ? I know a virgin whose kink/secret desire is to make love at night under the rain. She hopes she will do that someday.

Some of us are just aware and conscious and look beyond the surface. Perhaps it goes against popular opinion and perception and hence implies Going My Own Way. But not because I am following the crowd, but because my perspective is unpopular. So yeah, you do have a point.

SultanOfPuna:
You made one very big blunder
A very big LIE that I can't let it slide

That WOMEN LOVE SEX MORE THAN MEN

This is the biggest lie of the 21st century

I refuse to believe that women love sex more than men. Here is my reason

1. If women love sex more than men
Then it should be so easy to have sex with women but we all know it is not easy.

Even a girl that likes you wont give you sex
They withold it and play games
If women loved sex so much then there will not be need for all those games they play .

They will go right into sex without hesitation
Just like men do jump in to sex without hesitation.

2. Brothels
The main reason for brothels is because women have withold and controlled sex so much that they deny men sex. So these men then go to brothel to have sex at a cost.

If women loved sex so much they would not waste time to participate in it. But you and I know that women will play games and withold sex.
That is not how someone who loves sex act Someone who loves sex will not hesitate to enjoy it.

Men love sex more than women. Period

I understand your point. And I understand the scenarios you paint.

My statement is that Women also love sex as much as men do, then I added “perhaps even more.”

Many men are addicted to sex and ejaculation thoughtlessly and just looking for a way to relieve himself and massage their egos. Many men brainwashed and influenced to believe that constant sex equals strong masculinity. A woman loves sex. Good sex, when she sees and meets the man who moves her emotionally. Loving something deeply does not equate to having it daily and having it without thought of risk and consequences.

There are drug users who love drugs use more than addicts, but they themselves are not addicts. Your argument is that if you love it as you claim then you shouldn’t be able to control your desire for it. Ok. So, I love sex. A lot. And even a lot more than those men who visit brothels. BUT I CAN AND WILL NEVER VISIT A BROTHEL WHY?Class. Sustained and guaranteed opportunities to meet better girls. Blessed with natural physical masculine features and traits, healthy features through fitness and exercise, financial stability(very), attractive Intellect/intelligence, knowing what to do and say to women when I want. If daddy GO has a good looking wife or Sister Mary the Nun is good looking enough to worth my attention, I’ll know how to approach such that if I don’t get it, I’ll plant a seed that eventually will germinate someday and I’ll have a higher chance of getting it.

Let us look at the expressions of sexuality for both genders. To what benefit will it be to women to allow easy sex by men because they love it, when clearly it threatens their image, survival, societal acceptance, etc. The risks are too high. But notice that as these “RISKS” become eroded in the society the women are slowly showing their true selves? In the past the risks included Bad Image, Damaged Reputation, Risk of Getting Pregnant, Failure to find a suitable respectable mate, Risk of even getting killed for being promiscuous, loss of financial support, protection and provision, shame and disgrace to family/family name, etc. But notice that as these things become less threatening women are getting more and more expressive. Engaging more and more in multiple sex partners. Years and years of cultural, religious and societal conditioning have made them be the way many of them are. They learn from childhood what to do and how to act. Told how to laugh and how to behave so they can make good wives. How to cook and how to dress modestly.

Men are allowed and permitted to show and display their sexuality. In fact it is a plus. Women are judged harshly and pay dearly when they (the women) do so. Considering the society even of today, which man boldly/proudly would pick a harlot/olosho and say he wants to marry her?

What a man will sacrifice for the love of sex or a fling in my opinion is not as much as a woman will willingly sacrifice.

Women are expected to be proper and not be sluts, if not their reputations are damaged and they are not able to pair bond as the society also expects. They are not able to meet the expectations or goal of Marriage. And when they can’t they are laughed at. Mocked. “Nah him make she never marry”!! “Shame…go marry.. your mates don marry finish”….”wooowoooowooo…your mates don leave their papa house..”….”see this one wey no fit stay husband house Dey talk”! How a parent tells their Son to find a wife is not the same tone they tell their daughter to find a husband. It has never and will hardly ever be the same.

You mentioned brothels, just because Aboki sells Sugarcane does not mean he also can’t like sugarcane more than the various customers that come to buy. It is a business for him and it is a survival strategy. Women have known that MEN WILL PROVIDE RESOURCES TO HAVE SEX. They simply turn this into a business. Having better self control and will power does not mean they don’t like sex more. And in recent times the things that led to this self control and will power are getting eroded AND WE ARE GRADUALLY SEEING THEIR TRUE NATURE. Gradually and slowly but now more and more are coming out. Especially as we now have:

-Erosion of old morals, values, cultures
-Availability of Condoms
-Contraceptives & Morning after pills
-Free and paid for but available abortions
-Liberalism and open expression of sexual orientation
-Societal praise for the modern woman life style
-Social media hype and trends and attention/content as a form of currency

The true nature of women is being revealed. A Master Chef likes food and the art of making it, but he doesn’t binge eat like a glutton. A woman has a more cautious approach and that caution is getting eroded. Having self control does not mean you love something less. An impulsive spender doesn’t necessarily love the things he buys more than a careful investor who manages his money well, grows wealth and prefers to spend only on huge yachts and fine paintings.

Being careful doesn’t mean you love something less than the person who is careless/reckless.

eyesoflagos:
https://eyesoflagos.com/lady-turns-down-man-who-sponsored-her-education-reveals-pregnancy-for-another-man/

But the possibility and risk is always there. She has her own thoughts, and various personalities she projects to get what she wants and to survive. The next phase of her life is not with you. She had decided this long ago. You have served your purpose and she has played the script and played the part that will allow you part with your time and resources.

What you now want from her she doesn’t see you as a go of candidate for. When she thinks of marriage you aren’t the one she thinks of. Even the man she got pregnant for, the pregnancy might not be his. She could be a cool headed girl to you (for your sponsorship), a slut to Tony to match his bad boy attitude, a wife material to Alhaji to get more attention that she angrily know that he gives to his wife. The same woman.

As per most men our notoriety is known. It is almost socially acceptable. So we hardly pretend. We may hide not to seem disrespectful, but not usually to survive.

Man should know that You go into this type of thing (sponsoring a woman’s education), knowing that she can do this.

They aren’t angels who will pay good for good bla bla bla… As long as a human can do it, a woman too can do it.

alphonsojidebab:
https://eyesoflagos.com/no-benz-no-chance-ladies-mock-camry-drivers-in-viral-video/

This is their true nature and desire. It is not shocking or immoral. It is their own measurement of “survival” assuming they aren’t doing this for the shock effect or to the bait and to trend. Whether illusions or not, whether fantasy or not, whether illogical or not, it is strong enough to make them break relationships, hide and transfer pregnancies, cheat with any opportunity, etc.

This is who they are and hopefully they are being their true selves here. It is not whether their opinion is correct or incorrect, logical or illogical or beneficial or non beneficial to them. This is how they want it to be. They needn’t hide their true intentions and opinions and then make another innocent man suffer their dissatisfaction and disappointment because he doesn’t meet the illusions of what they call their standards.

Therefore the question at ANY POINT in time is how much pretense exist between her real nature and what she projects for you to see? If the polarity or difference is more or much then there will be issues when she gets tired of pretending, or when she sees and seizes the slightest opportunity to be her real self, whatever that turns out to be.

As the time progresses we will all realize that women aren’t what we try to hope and deceive and believe that they are. If women told you and showed you their true self, many men’s “ realities” would be shattered. Many men would not even dream of marrying them but would burn them all at the stake out of disgust, anger and disappointment.

They have spoken their minds. It is now left to the Men. The man who sees their honesty and weights the cost and benefits will then decide what to do with it and with them, and what expectations to have.

Sirchiboy:
Tell me one mistake I should not Make or avoid before getting married

Why ? I'll give you some. Those who ''fight'' with my opinions here will say ''He has come again''.

1. DO NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING WOMEN ARE THE ANGELS AND SWEET LITTLE PRINCESSES WHO CANNOT KILL A FLY. THE WOMAN YOU WILL GET MARRIED TO WILL CHANGE SOME OR A LOT OF HER TRUE SELF TO FIT INTO YOUR TASTE AND PROJECTED EXPECTATIONS YOU HAVE OF HER. SHE WILL READ YOU AND CREATE THE BEST VERSION OF HERSELF THAT YOU LIKE AND WANT. BECAUSE (FOR NOW) SHE DESIRES MARRIAGE WITH YOU AND CAN PROUDLY SHOW OFF TO THE SOCIETY THAT SHE HAS ACHIEVED THE “MILESTONE”. (Her mum will be happy, family will be happy, she will be praised. She has a man to protect,provide and support her, Her friends will be envious, etc etc). SHE WILL CREATE A WELL CURATED VERSION OF HERSELF ESPECIALLY IF SHE REALIZES THAT YOU ARE A PRIZE AND SHE IS MARRYING UP. AND ESPECIALLY, IF YOU DID NOT OBSERVE HER OR GATGER INFORMATION ABOUT HER TRUE CHARACTER FROM AFAR AND LONG ENOUGH, YOU WONT KNOW HER TRUE SELF. THEREFORE TEST TO SEE IF THERE IS HUGE GAP BETWEEN WHO SHE TRULLY IS AND THE VERSION OF HERSELF THAT SHE HAS CREATED FOR YOU AND THAT SHE SHOWS YOU. IF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT SHE TRULLY IS AND WHAT SHE SHOWS YOU IS MUCH, THEN BE CAREFUL.

2. MARRIAGE IS FIRSTLY FOR DUTY AND EXPECTATIONS. MARRIAGE IS NOT PRIMARILY A MEANS FOR AUTOPILOT HAPPINESS AND “LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER” NONSENSE. THOSE WHO INSTITUTED IT KNOW THIS. MARRIAGE IS FIRST A DUTY. A ROLE WITH TASKS AND RESPONSIBILITIES. YOU DO THEM WHETHER HAPPY OR SAD. YOU ARE THEREFORE TO CONSCIOUSLY MAKE ATTEMPTS TO WEAVE IN AND INCORPORATE THE SPICE, HAPPINESS, CONNECTION, JOY, LAUGHTER AND TO SUSTAIN YOUR MASCULINITY, RESPECT AND LEADERSHIP. YOU SEE THE SEX, IT WILL WANE. YOU SEE THE DESIRE, IT WILL DROP. YOU SEE THE PRESSURES, THEY WILL COME. FAMILY, RELATIVES, YOUR FREEDOM, THE SOCIETY, ETC. THE WOMAN YOU LOVE SO MUCH SOME DAYS YOU WILL FIGHT AND QUARREL AND ARGUE AND SOME DAYS YOU WILL JUST SAY “TO HELL WITH YOU” FOR A FEW MINUTES, HOURS OR DAYS. USUALLY WHEN THE DUTY IS OVER, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE KIDS ARE ALL BIG ENOUGH TO NOT NEED MUCH ATTENTION, THE DISSATISFACTION BECOMES MORE AND MORE, ADDING FUEL TO THE MIDLIFE CRISES.

3. WOMEN DO NOT REMAIN THE SAME. BECAUSE MANY MEN FOOLISHLY THINK I MET HER THIS WAY AND SO SHE SHOULD BE THIS WAY.A ONCE NICE CHASTE WOMAN CAN BECOME A TERROR AFTER 5 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. SO KNOW HER VALUES AND THE MOTIVATION FOR MARRIAGE.

4. DO YOUR DUTIES, KEEP YOUR BOUNDARIES OF LEADERSHIP, RESPECT AND LOYALTY. LOVE HER, BUT CHASE YOUR GOALS AND DO NOT SEEK HER VALIDATION. CHASE YOUR DREAMS, THEN GIVE HER TIME, THEN CHASE YOUR DREAMS, THEN GIVE HER TIME, THEN CHASE YOUR DREAMS. THERE ARE THINGS YOU CANNOT TOTALLY CONTROL. BUT YOU SEE DISRESPECT, DISLOYALTY AND SO ON. DO NOT LET THOSE SLIDE.

5. FINALLY, YOU CANNOT STOP A PERSON WHO WANTS TO CHEAT. THEY WILL ALWAYS FIND A REASON TO. EVERYBODY HAS THE MOUTH TO SAY '' Hi honey, I think ill cheat o, because you make me feel this way'' or ''You don't make feel this way, so I want a separation (divorce/breakup) so can I sleep with A or B''. BUT THEY HARDLY EVER DO. WHY DO THEY NOT BREAKUP OR DIVORCE OR SEPARATE BEFORE CHEATING WHEN THEY CAN? BECAUSE THEY WANT TO CHEAT. That is why it is called “CHEATING”. THE BIOLOGY OF HUMANS ALLOWS AND SUPPORTS MULTIPLE SEXUAL PARTNERS. IF HER SELF CONTROL IS WEAK,DONT EXPECT FAITHFULNESS.

KNOW THESE AND KNOW PEACE.

I Will go on an unsolicited monologue here. And I won't apologize for it. Apologize for being the 10th Man?

Stories like these, whether real or not, whether rage bait or not, I guarantee that worse has happened, is happening and will happen. So while this story seems crazy to many people, it does not bother those who know women. They are not complicated. Nothing is complicated about a woman.

Women are actually NOT complicated. There is nothing complicated about a woman. Women are just DIFFERENT AND most often misunderstood. PEOPLE CREATE FALSE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT THEM AND PROJECT THESE ASSUMPTIONS and expectations on them. And in order to thrive, women mostly and often conform to these assumptions/expectations so that they are able to fit in and get accepted, especially when it comes to landing a mate. And her landing a mate has a lot to do with her REPUTATION. Women therefore have multiple versions of themselves, each authentic in its own context, each serving a different social or survival function. But notice the moment they feel they have nothing to lose and everything to gain, they bring out and project their true selves. The real them. Just as men are capable of being cunning, so are women. But men are on a surface level.

The problem is that we (especially many naive men) expect them and believe that WOMEN should be or are PURE, CALM, FEMININE, CHASTE, WITH REPRESSED/CONTROLLED SEXUAL DESIRES, INCAPABLE OF VIOLENCE, INCAPABLE OF DEBASEMENT, SHOULD NOT DESIRE SEXUAL PROMISCUITY, SHOULD NOT HAVE RAGING SEXUAL DESIRES, SHOULD NOT DESIRE MULTIPLE MEN AT THE SAME TIME, etc. We project this expectation because we wish and want them to be this way to protect our egos as men, when they are not. And it will just simply shatter our reality if they aren't this way we wish them to be. THE TRUTH IS, A WOMAN LIKES SEX LIKE MEN OR EVEN MORE THAN MOST MEN. In fact, a woman can choose multiple men for one sexual reason or another. But how does she come out to say this without being judged? But notice that as women get more and more independent, their true selves are being exposed. What we call the ''Modern Woman''. There is nothing strange in their behavior, women of old who had the guts and lacked the shame and did not care about the stigma had lived the type of life of the modern woman. But only a select few had the guts. But now many women do and openly show their true selves. In the past, majority of them hid these things about themselves to fit it, thrive and survive. Till today, their deception (was and) is still a survival strategy. We wrongly assume every woman should value being with one man, raising kids, cooking, cleaning, and having sex with one man for 50 years of marriage. IT IS A LIE. Most women do not wish this or want this. If they do, it was projected upon them by the society, and they realize it is monotonous and boring afterward. But when society says this is how to thrive and judge you by that process, what do you do? Just like society says you must go to University to be successful and build wealth. It is a lie, but we all do it. Who wants to be judged when things go bad with people saying ''shebi him no gree go school...now poverty dey worry am''.

The woman at home with you is not the same woman in the office, is not the same woman during outing with her girls, is not the same woman when she talks to Bayo who complimented her beauty at work, is not the same woman during praise and worship in church, is not the same woman who in the same church saw the brother that looks like her ex and how he smiles at her, is not the same woman who fantasizes about that handsome actor and is not the same woman whose sexual kink is to be tied and gagged. How does she tell you these things without being judged? Without paying dearly by way of the huge social cost of her honesty? But that was then and it is changing. When you know this, you will know what to expect and what not to expect from them.

The questions are ''WHY WOULD MEN WANT TO TRUST WOMEN IN THE FIRST INSTANCE?'' (JUST AS WE ASK, WHY WOULD WOMEN ALSO TRUST MEN?). ''WHO ADVISED MEN TO TRUST WOMEN? AND WHICH MAN believes he can trust a woman?'' Women are not the honest, sexually modest, princesses we want them or wish them to be. They are capable of everything and even worse. They have multiple personalities and depending on the situation can shapeshift. That your calm woman who doesn't like being hugged and so on, deep down fantasizes about being dragged into a back alley and penetrated from behind. They desire multiple men and enjoy taboo sexual relations. They know they do not have the necessary physical capacity to defend themselves hence to survive, THEY WILL BLAME SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE AND WILL NEVER TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY. Furthermore, they need to always project that something else caused it/made me do it so that they ''survive'' and so that they do not pay dearly in terms of social cost.

Real or imaginary, just as there is nothing that a man cannot do if he chooses, there is also nothing a woman too cannot do if she chooses to and believes it serves her survival, existence, comfort, sexual options and biological mating novelty, and reputation.