₦airaland Forum

He is planning a good strategy to put it to good use.

A smart man plans properly for such free heavenly gift.

He needs time out to either japa or spend it in a hotel so he can peacefully come up with a strong plan to put it to a mutually beneficial use.

He will pick your call soon enough. Dont worry ma.

Richsteemit:
Good morning guys. There is the girl that work around my office, that I walk up to physically, I collected her number because I like her, not to look desperate, I said I want to be friends with her. Only to start chatting with her, one word reply and then she will ghost me. I try chatting her two times.. I tell one of my friends too. He said I should keep chatting or even call her that I'm not putting more effort. I did na still ghosting. What advice can u give me on this issue or I'm not been honest to her??

She could be busy is busy and does not take your company online as serious yet. Give it time, if it continues Biko move on. No be by force. Yep. It is not everything we try that we win.

On the other hand, it is possible that she really knows how to increase her value and seduce your heart by making herself scarce. She is a true coquette. She knows her “scarcity” will most likely send you chasing. The female version of my seduction character.

“Any which way” (as we say in Nigeria), you will have to decide when you think it is time to shift your attention to other beneficial things in your life.

You take number ....You don try to chat with her.....She no too send....
It is either you keep pestering her hoping she will reciprocate which will make you seem needy and you will not stimulate her emotions properly. You will seem like a disgusting whimp and woman wrapper.

Take one action. Simply ask her once and once only why she doesn’t respond more than she currently does, to see if there is more or less to it. Then you simply walk away. I would even say do not ask her anything. Just value yourself and stop! Immediately.

Leave her alone. Say hello when you see her. If she ignores, then ignore her too. By pleasant when you meet her but stop texting her. You are devaluing yourself. Already you have started on a bad note:

1. You are now too predictable: Women hate this.
2. There is no mystery about you: I bet you have told her everything about you and how special you are bla bla...It is male version of ''pick me''
3. By texting and texting and double and triple texting, You are making her to be more valuable than you, your purpose and your time. It would seem as if you dont have a life.
4. You are making it seem that if you land her you are lucky: Thereby putting you beneath her and making her the prize. Women crave men above them. Not a man who has nothing else to do with his life but to chase them about through text. They are hypergamous. They look up. They date up. They typically would see a man who has more maturity, emotional stability, had a serious goal and purpose he is chasing. The confidence to be calm when shit hits the fan, possesses resources or potential for resources.
5. Your texting and neediness does not show you can provide emotional security: This emotional security is what women usually seek. Women knowing you can handle their emotions, knowing you are solid internally, is something they seek. The broke man with unshakable confidence provides more security than a rich man, whose emotionally unstable. Men keep focusing on the bank account instead of the backbone. Bank account is good. But you need more than that to be a man -In the True Seductive Sense.

You probably came off as too needy. Allow her to rest. THE ONLY WAY TO GET BACK YOUR RESPECT IS TO TAKE YOUR ATTENTION ELSEWHERE AND LEAVE HER BE. PAY NO MIND TO HER. If she does not come around, then put your attention on other things and affairs that will continue to build you up. She is not the only girl in town. Not every girl will accept you and the reasons are many, and that is fine.

mamagee3:
[color=deeppink]When a man you’ve been chatting with calls you his wife, does he mean it?[/color]

Most often he doesn’t mean it. Absolutely not. Many men know that a woman is motivated to find a worthy mate to settle with. And every man knows that his erection also needs someone to let off the steam and pressures of his full balls into.

It is a kindergarten seduction move. But even as basic as it is, it still works on the naive. There are things men do to break your defenses and make you feel comfortable that he is planning the future with you in mind. This is one of those things. Other things will be inviting you to his house. Asking you to do domestic chores, etc. Women foolishly think he is testing them to see if they are well domesticated. If they can cook, etc. It is false hope on a hope that did not even exist in the first instance.

The rule still remains as follows:


DO NOT GIVE YOUR BODY TO ANY MAN BEFORE MARRIAGE.

DO NOT REQUEST FOR OR ACCEPT ANYTHING THAT WILL GIVE THE MAN THE MOTIVATION TO ASK FOR YOUR BODY EITHER.

Make everybody respect theirselves.

abuwasilah:
Dear Nairalanders,

It has been observed based on research and experience from seniors that which of the following scares men:

(1). Fear of side chicks died while been together with the man
(2). Mother-in-law or any in-law family member catch the son-in-law with another woman in a controversial position
(3). Father meeting his grown-up daughter in the same location where he goes to do his runs
(4). General police raid/arrest in a location where man lodged with the side chick

Pls, add you own and let's know in the comment section the most scary...

With enough wealth you can get away with a lot of these.

Usually this is what scares men. MEN DO NOT LIKE WHAT THEY DO TO OTHER WOMEN HAPPEN TO WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES:

1. Their Mum
2. Their Daughters
3. Their Wives
4. Their Sisters


Anything besides these women, many men no really send anybody. Men want to be able to protect, provide, support these women. Hence making money/ wealth is mandatory. Men are scared of poverty. Poverty will leave these women in their lives more vulnerable. At least that is what men think. Wealth will help protect them and the men as well. These and many other numerous reasons make us chase wealth and financial stability.

So just think of anything that a man does to other people/women, and imagine you do it to any of the above listed women in their lives. Especially, when it comes to taking advantage of any of these women or any of these women betraying the men!

DyshApp:
Love wins again as a Nigerian man goes all out to tattoo his girlfriend’s name on his forehead.

The enamoured man took to the video-sharing platform, TikTok to reveal the moment he got the tattoo inked on his head.

In what appears to be a display of his love, the man tattooed his girlfriend’s name, Precious, on his forehead.

This isn’t the first time various lovebirds have expressed their admiration by getting their partners’ name inked on their body.

Previous posts have reported guys and ladies who went extra mile to tattoo their partners’ names and monikers on various parts of their body.

She will bear the shame of this foolish act and resent you soon enough, and the embarrassment will send her fleeing. Just give it time.

Lol.

DyshApp:
A lady has sparked debate on social media after sending a blunt message to men about spending money on women.

In a post on her official X (formerly Twitter) handle, a lady identified as @Big_yemm boldly stated that women will not take men seriously if they do not spend money on them.

She further added that any man who does not make life easier for a woman cannot be taken seriously.

Her post read “Unfortunately, no woman will take you seriously if you don’t spend money or at least make her life easier.”

However, @Big_yemm’s post has sparked debate on X (formerly Twitter) as many rejected the ideology while others supported it.

Mazi Chubby wrote: “We never hear things like this from elite and rich ladies. Always the kpangolo almajiri’s.”

Hollumuyiwa wrote: “It’s quite disgraceful to see how these Almajiris have reduced healthy relationships to mere transactions. Apart from Ethiopians, Nepalis and pillipinas, i don’t see other women prioritising money over real affection in a relationship. What our ladies are becoming is so sad to imagine.”

KC wrote: “It’s funny to see that many modern Nigerian women seem to reduce love to a transaction. They prioritize money and spending, which means that the highest bidders can easily win them over.

“In the end, it feels like everything is just about making a deal. If you expect them to take you seriously, it often comes down to providing financial support in exchange for s*x.”

Chiamaka wrote: “True, you can repeat that again and again and again. I mean, if you’re not going to be making my life easier then don’t be in my life. It’s that simple. Nobody is going to trade no woman is going to trade that piece of mind for anyone who’s going to make their life chaotic.”

Exactly o. Tell them o, my sister! Please tell us so that we can learn.

That is why the men will pay a little money, sleep with all of you women, and move on.

It is now a transaction. “Transaction completed…please take your receipt”


So my sister, Please help me tell the men o. So that the men too will see the idiocy in what relationships have become. The model is.

-Attraction is there (note I didn’t say “LOVE”).
-The feeling is mutual
-The man spends money
-The woman opens her legs
-The man moves on
-The woman ( always lacking taking accountability of her loose legs and thighs) says “men are scum”
-The cycle continues

Dear Men. None of these women will take you seriously o. So as you have heard, spend some money, taste her body, and move on.

As for the women too, knowing that it is spending of money you want, note that none of these men will also take you seriously either. So give your body and spend their money too.

Na so. Let the business transaction… the buying and selling….the kara kata…. the exchange of money for service..the money for hand back for ground…. Let it Continue.


There was a time…as humanity developed and our sense of decorum expanded there was a time when the woman kept her chastity and did not trade it for financial gain and comfort. The man also kept his resources,did not pressure the woman for sex, and majorly spent when it was time to pay for her hand in marriage.

Then we don’t know who started it, but the men foolishly thought they could get her, by gifts. The women also foolishly thought they could get a better life by opening their legs for gifts.
And here we are. And the rule is simple. But selfishness and greed. Selfish pursuit of pleasure and material things will not let you people have sense at all. There was once a solution to this wahala. No one was motivated by selfish desires. Intentions were pure.

THE RULE STILL REMAINS:

1. Women: DO NOT OPEN YOUR LEGS FOR ANY MAN UNTIL MARRIAGE AND DO NOT REQUEST FOR MATERIAL NONSENSE WITH THE ENTITLEMENT OF THE LADY HERE.


2. Men: DO NOT ASK FOR SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE AND DO NOT GO SPENDING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN UNTIL THE TIME FOR THE MARRIAGE RITES.

Very simple.

Make every body Dey their Dey! But una go gree? No. Woman wan buy latest phone and go shopping and live “baby girl life”, and man wan find where him go dump cum inside, add the willing girl name to the list of women him don sleep with. So that him Ego go inflate more and more say him be man and him be “conqueror” of female genitals.

Make the madness continue sha.

This is just someone trying to tempt us to jump into conclusion without proper context establishment.

But let us be silly and assume................


I would say that they are going in.

If they were coming out, the lady would be steps ahead as she faces the camera/direction from where the shot was taken.

Her body positioning and his show a high probability that they are going in.

If it is a key card, he is getting close enough to tap for the sensor to read the key.

If it is a manual lock, it is usually easy to use one hand to open. Locking would usually require 2 hands. One on the key and the other on the door handle pulling towards you, most often.

If they were done, that is not how she will be holding her handbag.

Hamachi:
Man-to-man " What did she casually do that made you realize she's wouldn't qualify to be your wife?"

She mentioned that if I was ''Osu'', she would not marry me because she will not be allowed to speak at village meetings, and she will not be allowed to lead or speak when village women meet...etc. This person is a graduate. Well-read. I told her if she was, I wouldn't care and would still marry her, as I had even made concrete plans for all my kids to be born in the US - Have well-to-do siblings there, and I am financially blessed also.

But that her response when we discussed this topic of ''Osu'' and ''Freeborns'' changed everything. My initial thought was, ''what do I care about what one old tradition says? I will love you no matter what. It is your personality, pleasantness, peace, beautiful spirit, chastity, resourcefulness, respect, support, holding the home front well, etc. that I am attracted to, not your outdated village customs''. To imagine that the same person complains about how whites enslaved and colonized black people. Don't get me wrong, I like useful customs and traditions. Respect for elders, Honesty, Kinship, Supporting the old/infirm, folktales, safe and healthy rites and practices, etc.

Anyway, with this, I simply knew it wasn't the mentality I wanted my kids to have.

To other people, this might not be much. To me, it meant a lot and implied a lot of things.

Chilipepper:
Non-Salary earners, What’s your source of income; How are you surviving?

Even as a good salary earner, I still do not relent on my consulting side hustle.

I am trying to expand into more service areas as we speak.

No retreat, No surrender. Onward Together.

Ok so, maybe her discipline may not be one that is very “cool” and popular.


But who has read the work and concluded that is supports feminism or does not support it?
Which Nairalander has seen it? What are the aims and objectives and importance of the work? Who here can share one objective where she says it is to promote feminism?

You see a girl, she has a project, the topic is unique, it makes news, she is physically beautiful by many beauty standards, and immediately the reaction is “GET MAD AND HAVE A GO AT THROWING A FIT AND COMMIT EVERY FALLACY THERE IS”.

Many Nigerians are just LITERATE. Not well educated and less than 1% is enlightened. THEY ARE SIMPLY LITERATE GRADUATES. And you can graduate without being well educated, especially in Nigeria.

MANY NIGERIANS ARENT EVEN PROPERLY EDUCATED NOT TO SPEAK OF BEING ENLIGHTENED! And it shows daily.. both online and in real life. For emphasis I repeat that MANY NIGERIANS (especially the YOUTHS) WHO CLAIM TO BE “EDUCATED” & “GRADUATES” ARE ONLY LITERATE. THEY CAN DO BASIC READING AND WRITING. Hardly are they well educated not to talk of being enlightened.

And then those who aren’t in Academia; people who couldn’t japa because they couldn’t score band 5 in IELTS; bitter people; are here talking about the Department and Faculty. People who are only as educated as monkeys. The nerve in idiocy!

Chilipepper:
Man causes stir on social media after he shared the "disadvantages" of dating him

Someone here says here that his standards amount to gender based violence. Lol..And then out of the blues also claims this is why wives leave their husbands overseas. NO. The wives when they get oversea, they leave because they never loved the man the way they met him anyway. They just wanted to marry to ''pepper'' their stepmother and friends, to have a wedding that people will come to and see that they have ''upgraded'' and they also marry to find a cheap meal ticket in Nigeria. But as usual, they make bad decisions, influenced by nonsense, lack strong sense of character and will power, marry the wrong man, then claim it is the man's fault.

See this one now, she has rushed to tag it Gender Based Violence Because his standards do not ''benefit'' her and her gender. She has quickly accused him of gender based violence. These are the ones that are quick to lie and cook up stories that you raped them or touched them inappropriately just to get back at you. Hahahaha.. These women.

Let us face facts. It is a choice. He has not written anything there that is a crime. Those are his standards. When you women set standards that are unrealistic, men simply respect ourselves. We do not shout ''classism'' or ''discrimination'' . Again, just like when women do their Modern Woman boss bitch thing ...''I want a man 6ft tall and makes not less than 5m per month, with a house in Lekki, Cooks for me, takes me on trips regularly,etc. ….''

It is left for a woman to also accept him that way or not. Each action we take have consequences. We just should very responsible and accountable enough to face the consequences. After all, Many of you women open your legs and get pregnant by men worse than this, you made the choice. You live with the consequences. So, please, if his standards are too strict for you, walka pass. Please.

In my years of dating, I have only dated women who are not addicted to Social Media. It is one of the major things I look out for. They have accounts but they do not post. And no, their phones are not passworded.

He has set his standard. If the standards are too high then say so ...shout...complain...cry...But move on. Walk on by.

boysco:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kebnCh2wE_w?si=urDk0QF2RguOiUJX

A Nigerian lady shocked many after telling her boyfriend, “Did I tell you to train me in school?” when he tried to collect his wig back on her graduation sign-out day.

''In Her own case he wanted to preserve her.
Also he didn't want her to pass through the ordeals she had told him before.
She had told him that she lost her father when she was 6...And that she had experience heart breaks.
He did not worship her, he only pitied her, and wanted to correct her impression.''

Lol... Funny...

It reminds me of a matter here on nairaland, yesterday.

Makavelli001:
You are right. But it seems you missed this part of the story:

Her own case is that I wanted to preserve her.
Also I didn't want her to pass through the ordeals she have told me before.
She have told me that she lost her father when she was 6. And that she had experience heart breaks.
I do not worship her, I only pitied her, and wanted to correct her impression

Ok......If you say so. Some parts of the story do not check out..but hey what do I know.. Lol !!
You probably understand the context better.


Like soap, you try to make humans clean, like soap you MUST dwindle in the act.
My advice then is that you take her back out of pity. I feel you continue with the pity and take no offense at whatever she does, unless it relates to physical harm. After all, like Dale Carnegie said, ''It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartbreaks''. Take her back, expect nothing in return- whether sex, gratitude, investment of her time, energy, effort, etc. Fulfill the mission of ''preserving her''. Do not let her attitude stop you from doing what you need to do to ''pity her'' and ''preserve'' her and ''correct her impression''.

Because, (I mean), It is a seemingly noble/lofty ideal.

fineboynl:
Guys if you love big ass and you are dating a girl with small or medium ass. Never let her know because if you do you will end uo creating big problem i’m talking from experience. She will never trust you. And when any big ass girl pass-by she will observe you that you must look.

She will always way cloths that will make her ass look bigger. She will always think you will leave her one day.

Lmao! You just unlocked "Trauma Mode" with one confession. You thought you were being honest, but you accidentally submitted her to the Big Bum-Bum Olympics wey full naija everyday. From that moment on, every curvy girl on the street will just become a threat and every outfit she wants to wear will be automatically turned into a mission to ensure that she caters for her insecurities.

As hilarious as it sounds sha, the moral of the story is that if you love big ass/bum, but your girl ain't packing it like that, just love her loudly and silently at the same time. The question is that, if the size of her arse or bum is that important, then please make it clear and bear this in mind and go for a girl with it/who has it..Isnt this a better option? . Because once your slim girl that is not ''packing'' or ''strapped'' behind starts feeling like a contestant in a competition she never signed up for, your peace and hers is gone. And that na girl wey send sef. Which means she likes your approval and validation enough to want to be what you desire.

kpankpangolo:
Why didn’t the Okafor’s Law you all preach about occur?

Hahahaha...Bro, respectfully, Okafor’s Law isn’t some universal principle o. It’s just a popular myth guys throw around to hype themselves up. The idea that sleeping with someone once will now give you a lifetime access is more ego than reality. People have the freewill, and if she chose to ghost you after one time, that’s her call sha. Maybe she didn’t feel a connection, maybe the vibe was off, or maybe she just didn’t want a repeat or maybe to her it was transactional. Yes, that T-Fare you gave her was payment. Don't deny..You know what I am talking about. She probably needed the money for a need and she sold her body, or it could be other reasons.

Okafor’s Law is not a law because it's not universally or even consistently true. It’s a selective pattern, often interpreted through the lens of male entitlement or wishful thinking. It flatters the ego, not the facts. it just means she moved on, and that’s perfectly valid. Instead of questioning why she didn’t come back, maybe reflect on why you expected her to. Take the experience for what it was and keep it moving. Not every story needs a sequel jare. Okafor’s Law na yeye law wey no follow anything. Exceptions were used to make the law. It falls apart under even the slightest bit of scrutiny. Human beings aren’t vending machines where pressing the same button gets you the same result every time. Just because something happened once doesn’t mean it’s destined to happen again, especially when emotions, expectations, and personal boundaries are involved. People change, perspectives shift, and one-time experiences don’t create permanent entitlements. It’s like assuming you can always get extra chicken at Chicken Republic restaurant just because you got one once..Lol..Na so dem dey do am? That’s not a rule, that was just that day. So logically, the law is flawed because it assumes human behavior is static and that predictable, and it is not. Real life doesn’t work like that, and neither do relationships or encounters. A whole lot of people try to justify Okafor’s Law by pointing out that some women do go back to their exes or former flings for sex. This is true in some cases. But that is not a law at work o. That is just comfort, familiarity, or unfinished emotional business. Sometimes people go back because it feels easier or safer than starting something new, not because there’s some mystical “access granted forever” rule in effect. In fact, that behavior isn’t exclusive to women, plenty of men do it too.

But the key thing is that going back is a choice, not a guarantee. Just because a few people return to the past doesn’t mean everyone will, or that anyone owes you that. Using exceptions to create a fake rule is bad logic, like many things in Nigeria. It is like saying “everyone always goes back to their first love” just because a few people do. That’s not a law; it’s just a pattern you wish would always work in your favor.

ebubeson:
Is This Statement True About Today Relationships?

From a broader perspective sha, this claim that social media has damaged dating and society holds considerable truth, but the root cause is more systemic than gendered as she put it.

Those who designed social media and the social media platforms ensured that they are driven by engagement algorithms, have amplified unrealistic portrayals of beauty, relationships, and success, conditioning both men and women to adopt distorted expectations.

Women are often targeted with ''modern woman''/''boss bitch'' /''I dont need a man''/ ''ill choose a bear'' content that emphasizes hypergamy, luxury, and perfection, while men are pressured to meet increasingly unattainable standards of wealth, appearance, and performance. Dating apps have further turned connection into something less than even a game where you swipe this and click that. It has simply sort of ''gamified'' connection, turning people into swipes and options, rather than encouraging meaningful relationships. This environment will continue to lead to discontent, insecurity, and mistrust on both sides, not because one gender started it, but because the systems incentivize superficiality over substance.

While media, influencers, and tech companies helped create this culture, individuals also share responsibility when they accept and follow these types of narratives without thinking critically about what it is turning them into. People need to step back and even become aware too of these influences. People need to choose to engage in relationships with more intention and realism. The street may not be smiling (no dulling for street), but you don’t have to become like the street either. The key isn’t to blindly trust or become cynical..none of those extremes are good, but it is good to be strategically aware: To understand the social dynamics at play, set clear boundaries, and let people earn your openness rather than giving it away freely. Instead, move through it with your eyes wide open and your values firmly in place.

blackgold2018:
A girl that refuses you sex.. claiming you will leave her after that. What does this mean?

From an emotionally mature and boundary-aware perspective, when a woman refuses sex while claiming "you’ll leave her after," she’s revealing her internal fears and past experiences more than anything about you. It has either happened before and she is being careful, or she has observed this happen to other people before. Also, it is either a genuine concern or she is using it to manipulate/control. YOU WILL HAVE TO DISCERN WHICH IT IS, AS WE DO NOT KNOW THE WHOLE CONTEXT.

This statement often signals deep insecurity or a history of being used by men who sought intimacy and promised long-lasting partnership /serious relationships and disappeared after getting what they wanted. While her concern is understandable, it’s also a form of preemptive control, like I hinted earlier. She is withholding intimacy not out of discernment, but to manipulate the outcome by testing your patience or intentions. A high-value man respects her boundaries but also knows his own. For a serious relationship, If trust isn't mutual, and she is projecting unresolved trauma onto you, that’s not a something to overlook. You don't chase validation or beg to prove yourself. You calmly assess if this dynamic is built on fear or respect, and if it’s not aligned, You walk without resentment.

However, if you know you just want to have fun, and you see that she seeks something more serious, do not go lying to her and playing tricks and making promises just to deceive. Go and meet a hooker. Yes, I know women should be accountable for keeping their legs closed, but women hate the idea of being alone, and some believe that they cannot have proper relationships if they do not give in to the pressures of sex, while others are just tired of fooling and hoeing around.

TheWebbers:
I have this weird sexual fantasy. I want my wife to sleep with another man while I watch them. The idea has been with me even before marriage. My wife is very fine and have a banging body even after two kids and I would love the idea of another man enjoying her.

The man must not be a friend or someone I know from anywhere, just a new random guy and must be cute. I want them to make a video of their sex and then I can watch anytime I like. I believe I would love it and will arouse me a lot. And I wouldn't judge her at all with this. The only condition is that the relationship should only be sexual alone and I will know about it.

Another funny angle is that I am a very jealous husband. I dont want my wife to cheat and if she does, it could break our marriage, but if its a sexual relationship I know about and I approve, i wont consider it cheating.

I once stylishly tried to mention something like that using someone else as example and she was like, "Jesus, God forbid. How can people be thinking rubbish"

Now, how do I tell her about this weird fantasy? How do I get her to accept it? I want this really bad.

Lol...Uncle, what you're describing is commonly known as a fetish, specifically a form of cuckold or voyeuristic fantasy, and it’s not unusual for people to have sexual preferences or thoughts that fall outside societal norms.

However, it’s very important to recognize the difference between fantasy and reality. Your wife has already made her stance clear.. she sees the idea as absolutely abominable, and she has said it is "rubbish" and "God forbid"! This strongly suggests she would not be comfortable with this. Trying to push her into something that goes against her values or emotional boundaries could deeply damage your marriage and trust.

Instead of focusing on making this happen, consider exploring why this fantasy excites you, perhaps with a licensed sex therapist..So you will know the size, colour and shape of this ''wahala'' that you want to create o. Haha... Perhaps a licensed therapist can help you understand your desires and guide you on how to navigate them in a way that respects both your needs and your wife’s comfort. Not every fantasy is meant to be lived out, and that’s okay. The goal is a healthy, mutual, and respectful relationship, not just the fulfillment of one-sided desires.

Kobojunkieee:
Why are so many of you disconnected from reality? OP did not kill someone. He simply has emotions for a girl. How is that the same as placing the gal on a pedestal? He literally knows of her dalliances with other men but chooses to wait for her with the hope that she will come around to like him at some point. Why make that seem like an evil thing for him to do?

Humans use each other whenever they can; that is why we are referred to as social animals. OP may have considered that letting her come around him would maybe get her to realize how his feelings for her may be what she wants; what is wrong with that? Must she force herself to like OP because OP likes her? Must OP force himself on her because he likes her(even though the feelings are not reciprocated)?

You are not owed a romantic relationship(or any other) by anyone, not even women you like, and you can live well without romantic relationships. Try to work on yourself so you don't go around sounding so emotionally damaged in your assessment of human relations.

And that’s why so many men stay stuck in cycles of emotional manipulation and quiet frustration. No one said OP killed someone, so let’s not ''strawman'' the argument, if you know what I mean. The critique isn’t about having feelings. I have no issues with anyone having feelings. From jealousy to anger, to frustration to fear, etc. It is how they are managed and how they becloud one's sense of judgment that matters. It is about how those feelings were managed, misplaced, and ultimately disrespected. Yes, he liked the girl o..Ok no problem...But he needs to stand on his value and not tolerate being sidelined, disrespected, and emotionally strung along, hoping she'd eventually pick him after dealing with other men.

You say “humans use each other” as if that justifies emotional exploitation. Sure, people use people. The question is, do you let yourself be used without getting value in return? If a man is investing time, money, and emotional energy while getting zero commitment, zero intimacy, and open disrespect, then he’s volunteering for his own downfall. That’s not noble. At all. That is simply self-inflicted foolishness.

No one said she owes him love. Who can force love biko? But he also doesn’t owe her provision either. Reciprocity is the baseline of healthy interaction. If she’s free to chase other men, fine. But don’t sit in another man’s house cooking and collecting money while talking to your real interest on the phone. That’s disrespect, and he was right to walk away.

The message is not that women owe men relationships. No one owes you anything. It’s that men owe themselves dignity. The emotionally damaged ones are the men who keep hoping loyalty will be rewarded, even when the woman has made it clear he’s just a safety net. And men who defend that behavior under the guise of “being human” are justifying weakness and codependency. Men need to stop romanticizing disrespect just because they’re afraid to admit when a woman doesn't want them.

Please, Mr OP, I have not come to pamper you. I have posted my response. Read through all the responses here. Eventually the choice is yours. This is my final take on the matter.

Makavelli001:
I've been Tell one girl I just sincerely liked that I want us to be in a serious relationship but she refused. Then she was working. Then after 4 months I decided to call her, surprisedly she answered me politely. Not like other times when she was always arrogant.
Then later she told me that she is no longer working. That she quit.
Fast-forward, we started relating. She comes to my house to cook sometimes. But I no chop am (knacking) becos I luv that girl, so I didn't want to be in a hurry.

So one wkend she came, a guy called her and the guy was tell her to forgive him for disappointing her yesterday. After their conversation, I did as if I don't no what was happening. I didn't ask her who was that.

But she was uncomfortable. Then after she had finished cooking, she started telling me about the guy. I told her she shouldn't tell me. That I did not ask her. Then she answered me arrogantly that I don't have the right to ask her because we are not dating.
The thing pain me but I just keep silent. This is a girl I really loved. And she have been asking me money and I have been giving her. And she have the mind to tell me such thing.
To her surprise, I just stood up, and I told her to come let me see her off.
Since then I Neva call her again. I deleted her from my diary.
But she have been calling.
Guys should I accept her back??

You place women on a pedestal...then you provide them your resources without them even having to ask, earn or to invest in the outcome in ANY WAY. You ''luv that girl'' ....why? What does she have, and what can she contribute into the building of your income, financial stability, riches, wealth, philanthropy, as a positive influence to the society, your network and your power? Tell me how you suddenly ''luv that girl''. Why?
Please tell me why she (they) will not treat you (all) that way, when from all her female brain and psychology you have made her so important to you, and you are so feeble-minded that without her investing anything, you have allowed her access to your home, your time, attention, resources, protection and provision? Then you all come here to complain when they take you for granted. You are a woman wrapper. Simple.
You all will learn the hard way. Just as ignorance is not an excuse in the court of law. So it is that the lack of wisdom and knowledge WILL ALSO NOT BE AN EXCUSE.

Two main things control human thoughts, behaviors and actions.
-Basic Instinct : Instincts we are born with.
-Experiential Intelligence : What we use to override basic instinct and reason before we take action.

Basic instinct for a woman is that a man that is easy, is also weak. He has no masculine power. Your value is not based on your running around women and dotting them and rushing to provide and splashing them with niceties. Women may love you and be fond of you for this. But they will not see you as a worthy mate until you act like a man. Your approach IS WEAKNESS. She seeks the man who is man enough to protect, provide, but yet residents, difficult to deceive and beguile. You are dealing with a woman who is using you for the current state she is in. When she sees and meets a man who is man enough and is able to provide as much as you or even more, she will discard you. Someone has disappointed her and not taking her seriously, yet she is lashing out at you.

As a man, your life is a PROJECT. REMEMBER, YOU ARE LOVED AND VALUED BASED ON WHAT YOU CAN PROVIDE. You have goals and expectations. Any woman is a subcontractor. Discard any woman who refuses to meet her obligations. You made the mistake of leading with emotions instead of value. She rejected you when she had options, then came back only after her situation changed. And not because she suddenly saw your worth. You gave her time, money, and loyalty, and she still reminded you that “you’re not dating” after disrespecting you in your own space. That’s the reality. Uncle, she never truly respected you. Women like that will use a good man for attention, comfort, and support while chasing the men they really want. The moment you pulled back, now she’s calling.....hahaha .....not because she values you o, but because she misses the benefits. Don’t fall for it. Taking her back would only reward her disrespect. Hold your ground, focus on your purpose, and never let a woman treat you like a backup plan.


I think there should be a formal and mandatory Rites of Passage program for Boys and Young Men.

You place women on a pedestal...then you provide them your resources without them even having to ask to invest in ANY WAY.

Then complain when they take you for granted.


You all will learn the hard way.


Just as ignorance is not an excuse in the court of law. So it is that the lack of wisdom and knowledge WILL ALSO NOT BE AN EXCUSE.

happiness440:
AVOID PENALTIES FROM CAC ON YOUR REGISTERED BUSINESS BY FILING YOUR ANNUAL RETURNS PROMPTLY!

Annual Returns filing is a compulsory payment required from every registered business owner on a yearly basis, counting from 18 months after the date of registration for business names and companies.

These payments are quite insignificant just #3,000 for business name and #5,000 for companies but because most business owners ignore them, they keep piling up year after year with penalties that follow as a result of default, to the extent that it becomes too heavy.

Failure to file these annual returns puts your business in red light as you could be denied a contract, business visa application, and even possibility of having your business bank account frozen.

Recently, CAC turned its radar on businesses that have been owing annual returns and have their registration status showing INACTIVE.

If CAC is to implement its planned policies against businesses owing annual returns, you may be at risk of losing your company, business name, or NGO as they will delist it from their database, ensuring no individual or corporate organization does any business with you.


Reach out to us by Call/WhatsApp on 07033097160 and let's handle the annual return filings for your registered Business.

Good afternoon,

I had registered a business with CAC but never opened an account and the business did not take off. But I have all the CAC documents. The company is among those on the list flagged for not filling returns.

Can you help with getting the company back on track by regularizing the businesses profile.

KingGe:
Filing your CAC annual returns is more than just compliance. It’s a smart business move with both local and international benefits. Here’s why you should take it seriously:



Legal Compliance
Filing annual returns helps you stay in good standing with the Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC). Failure to file may lead to penalties or even your business being removed from the register.




Business Credibility
A business that files annual returns is seen as active and reliable. It builds trust with clients, partners, and financial institutions.




Access to Loans and Grants
Many lenders and grant providers request proof of annual return filings to confirm that your business is active and compliant. It can be a key requirement for getting funding.




Visa and Travel Processing
If you are applying for a business visa or planning to showcase your business abroad, a clean record with CAC, including filed annual returns, can strengthen your credibility.




Avoid Penalties
Skipping your annual returns leads to extra charges. Filing regularly helps you avoid unnecessary fines.




Smooth Business Operations
Government agencies and banks often ask for proof of annual filings to complete certain transactions. Being up to date means fewer delays.




Builds Investor Confidence
Investors are more confident putting money into a business that follows regulatory requirements. Annual returns show you are serious and well structured.




Keeps Your Records Updated
Filing returns keeps your company’s information current with CAC. This is especially helpful if you need to update directors, addresses, or shareholders.





Takeaway:
Don’t see annual returns as a burden. It’s a small step that can open big doors for business growth, funding, and even international opportunities.

Stay compliant. Stay prepared.

Good afternoon,

Are you able to handle a company that was opened but has not started operations and is on the CAC List that requires regularization?

Please kindly let me know if it is something you can handle.

bixton:
Good day. Please does anyone have any reliable HSE handbook to use for putting up Risk Assessment of all sorts of jobs/projects before a PTW is raised ?
Anyone with an E-copy or soft copy can send to this email .....brittlebishop@gmail.com.
Thanks.

I would recommend you watch a YouTube Video/Lecture/Webinars.

Also, please remember that Risk Assessment is fundamentally based on a company's risk appetite which is also affected by regulations which is also dependent on the country and industrial sector. So when you find a good resource, whether as a book or video resource, you must tailor it to your organization by ensuring that the top management is aware of and accepted the risk profile you are working with in terms of your definition of various Frequency and Consequences categories and classes to People, Environment, Asset and Reputation (PEAR).

Freshtruth:
My salary is 480k per month in an offshore job but I can't swim I need advise


I am thinking of quitting the job

You are working at and on which offshore location?

YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO SWIM TO WORK OFFSHORE. I REPEAT THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW HOW TO SWIM TO WORK OFFSHORE. IF YOU HAVE UNDERGONE THE BOSIET, OSP PROCESS, TSbB, etc YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS FACT. EVEN WHEN YOU ACCESS THROUGH HELI OR TbB IT IS NOT MANDATORY. HOWEVER, GENERALLY SPEAKING, IT IS A GOOD SURVIVAL SKILL TO HAVE THOUGH.

IF WE ARE TALKING NEARSHORE/SWAMP OPERATIONS, THEN I WOULD BE CONCERNED. SO THAT IF YOU FALL FROM THE BALCONY, SOME OTHER CRAZY ACCIDENT SCENARIOS ON A HOUSE BOAT OR JETTY, OR SOMEONE VEXES AND THROWS YOU OVERBOARD, YOU CAN AT LEAST MANAGE. BUT GONE ARE THE DAYS OF SHELL SWIMMING TEST. AND BACK THEN IT WAS FRAUGHT WITH FRAUD AND THE TRAINERS SEEKING BRIBES IN CASH AND EVEN KIND (FROM WOMEN) TO PASS THE TEST TAKERS.

WHETHER 480K ( CONTRACT CREW /CONTRACT STAFF) OR UP TO 7-10 MILLION (OIM), YOUR SWIMMING SKILLS DO NOT PLAY ANY SIGNIFICANT ROLE IN OFFSHORE OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH AND SAFETY. THE BARRIERS AND HIERARCHIES OF CONTROL DO NOT CONSIDER SWIMMING SKILLS. OVER 80 PERCENT OF OFFSHORE WORKERS IN NIGERIA DO NOT KNOW JACK ABOUT SWIMMING. FROM AGBANI IN THE EAST, TO AGBAMI DOWN SOUTH, TO NOW DEAD AJE FIELD AT THE EXTREME WEST.

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED, AND YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR MIND TO REST, THEN DURING YOUR TIME OFF (7-14 DAYS DEPENDING ON YOUR ROTATION) JUST AND SIMPLY FIND A GOOD INSTRUCTOR AND LEARN THE LIFE SAVING SKILL.... SURVIVAL SWIMMING. IN LAGOS, BENIN/WARRI, YENAGOA/PHC, OR EKET (WHERE OFFSHORE OPS BASES ARE AND STAGING HAPPEN) YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND A GOOD INSTRUCTOR.

WHAT IS LOVE IN A ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP?


Una dey make me laugh sha. What the hell is ''love''? 99.9999999999% is not based on ''love'' in its true sense.


Abeg what we call love is mere ''like''. Love as as used in today's relationships is not unique in meaning. You like someone this way and not that way. You prefer this to that. Simple. There is nothing more unique to it based on how it is used today and what we see. Today it is an emotion that has nothing unique or special to it. I love ice cream. See ?....Means nothing. The human mind is always looking for ways to feel special, it likes recognition and validation, and loves to experience special things.

MAJORITY OF PEOPLE ARE ALL JUST IN TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS, ROMANTICIZED TO MAKE IT LOOK AND FEEL GOOD. THEN THEY TAG IT LOVE.

GO AND LOVE A BLIND, DEAF, DUMB, CRIPPLE, AUTISTIC, DROOLING MAD WOMAN. Then I will know that you genuinely love. Anything short of that, uncle and aunty, the fact is you see wetin you go fit gain na him make you go there. You saw some form of pleasure, bragging rights, resources, capabilities, and so on that made you interested.

Love does nothing and has never stopped anything. Like other emotions, it comes and goes. It can be tricked to exist or tricked to die. It has its limits. Cannot solve all of humanity's problems, and can be weakened by other emotions. It changes. It can run dry. It is not faultless, unique, or special.

And please no one should show me an AI nonsense generated reply about what AI says about love. AI IS AS SMART AND AS DUMB AS THE HUMANS WHO CREATED THE DATA IT IS DRAWING FROM. IF MAJORITY OF SCIENTISTS WRITE AND SUPPORT THAT HUMANS PEE FROM THEIR MOUTHS, AI WILL ALSO SAY THE SAME.