Mr. Akpors - Jokes Etc (8) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Mr. Akpors (99674 Views)
Mr Akpors Is Interviewed After Munich Vs Barca Match TODAY / -mr Akpors- & -the Robbers- / Mama Akpors And The Two Lawyer. Who Is Wise? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 2:30pm On Aug 23, 2013 |
Akpos is a very naughty boy, he has away of giving replies to questions and making people feel stupid. Sure you are going to enjoy this. . Here is the conversation between Musa , Akpos and their Teacher. . TEACHER: Anything you cannot see, touch and feel does not exist. Example, Can u see God? MUSA: NO TEACHER: Can you touch God? MUSA: NO TEACHER: Can you feel God? MUSA: NO TEACHER: This means There is no God. Can anybody give me any other example? . AKPOS: Yes Ma, TEACHER: Go ahead AKPOS (AKPOS faces the teacher) AKPOS: Can you see your brain? TEACHER: NO, AKPOS: Can you touch your brain? TEACHER: NO, AKPOS: Can you feel your brain? TEACHER: NO, AKPOS: Therefore, YOU HAVE NO BRAIN. |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 11:55am On Sep 06, 2013 |
Akpos was caught red handed by his principal writing MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL. Principal: What nonsense are you writing? (about to Slap Akpos). Akpos: Sir, i have not finish it. Principal: (angry) what do you mean. You are abusing me and you said you have not finish. Akpos: This is not what i wanted to write. Principal: So what did you want to write? Akpos: I wanted to write that MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL’S ENEMY.. Akpors was given a free scholarship |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 7:56am On Sep 08, 2013 |
An American was visiting Nigeria for the first time, so he boarded a taxi from the airport to his hotel, Akpors happened to be the taxi driver, on the way the American saw a beautiful building and asked the driver, "how long did it take to build such beautiful building", akpors was proud of his country and said 6years, the American replied "nonsense, in my country it will take 6 months to build same building".They passed by another huge building, the american asked again, "how many years did it take to build the house", akpors replied "2 years", to his shock again the american said, "rubbish, it takes just 2 months to build same building in my country".They finally passed the National Stadium, and the american was amazed, he asked how long did it take to build such magnificent structure, Akpors just looked at him and said "Oga, I don't know o! coz when I passed here this morning, the building wasnt there". 3 Likes |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 3:49pm On Sep 10, 2013 |
In class, the new biology teacher asked can u mention some of the biological changes in the human body? Rukewe: when we get to puberty, we start having strong intimate feelings. Ajaye: when women get matured they start developing big hips. (what a class, the teacher said silently) The teacher then spotted AKPORS chatting wit simbi, he asked him the same question and akpors answered: Men at 25 play Football, men at 40 play Tennis, men at 60 play Golf. Have you noticed that as you grow older your balls get smaller? is he right or not? 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 6:40pm On Sep 17, 2013 |
This morning, Akpos' Landlord was complaining that Eazy had impregnated his daughter. . As Akpos over-heard the landlord shouting, he came out of his apartment and asked the landlord. AKPOS: Landlord, what has Eazy done this time?. LANDLORD: Eazy got the mind to impregnate my only daughter. AKPOS: Oga landlord, are you sure of what you are saying? LANDLORD: Yes, this morning I saw my daughter vomiting, when I noticed that she is pregnant, I asked her who impregnated her and she said that Eazy is responsible. AKPOS: Abomination! Eazy is a fool. Oga landlord since I have been sleeping with your wife, have you got any report that I have impregnated her? ###What do you think happened to Akpos? |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by Shekson(m): 6:52am On Sep 18, 2013 |
lil jboy: This morning, Akpos'Lmao. If I was D̶̲̥̅̊ landlord, Akpors is a 'dead' man walking 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by Seanlovston: 6:52pm On Sep 19, 2013 |
lil jboy: Akpors And rukewethey r dumbers,hahaha 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 1:36pm On Sep 22, 2013 |
AKPOS: What is the cost of the plastic surgery? DOCTOR: Its about N 900,000. AKPOS: What!? Doctor that's too expensive. Okay...err...what if I bring the plastic? 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 5:51am On Sep 25, 2013 |
Akpors daughter married a chinese man and they had twins, but the kids died @d age of 3. At the funeral, akpors kept crying bitterly and screaming "I KNEW IT" "I KNEW IT" "I KNEW IT", his friends walked up to him and asked, akpors you knew what? Akpors replied in tears, my guy, china product does not last, especially two sim...lolzz 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 12:52pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Akpos went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. He insists that he must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money. They finally got him into the president's office and he asks akpos how much he would like to deposit. Akpos says he has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how akpos came by all this cash, so he asks him. Akpos says, "I make bets." The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and he says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet." Akpos says, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" Akpos says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?" "Sure," says the president. That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet. The next morning at 10 AM, Akpos appears with his lawyer at the president's office. He introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $ 25,000 says the president's balls are square. The president agrees with the bet again and Akpos asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this. Akpos looks closely at his balls and then asks if he can feel them. "Well, OK" says the president, "$25 000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure ." Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks akpos, "What is wrong with your lawyer?" he replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's balls in my hands!" 2 Likes |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 12:54pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Mrs Femi got in class n askd pupils 2 say da nambas she wrote on the board in words! SHe wrote 888 n gave dem a clue dat is- eight hundred n eighty... Shola jumpd 2 conclude by sayn eight. The teacher said- Veri gud shola! Teacher wrote 666 n bola gav n ansa s- Six hundred n sixty six! Teacher was enjoyin da leson telling pupils hw briliant dey were! Dis went on and on until he wrote 111 n askd akpos 4 n ans Akpos ahhhh Madam how can you choose a simple 1 for me, Ah! Dats One hundred and Onenty One! |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 12:56pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
TEACHER:Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Akpos:Because your eyes are in front of your ears. |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 12:57pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Joba: Akpos, why are you holding 'ROBB'?.. AKPOS: You said we are going to ROB a bank tonite. |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 12:58pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Teacher: What's the difference between LOVE & LUST? Akpos: Spelling! |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 1:00pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
TEACHER: If a person from Nigeria is a Nigerian, then what's a person from Holland called?.. AKPOS: Hollandia |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 1:01pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
In a Grammar class : . Teacher:- "HE does not like girls" What is 'He' in this sentence. . ?? . . . . .Akpos Gay. . . . !!! |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 1:02pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Teacher:Akpos defind racism. Akpos: RACISM is when you select your white clothes to wash first before the black ones! |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 1:03pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
How many types of coffee do we have in Africa? Akpos: Two types. Teacher: Very Good! What are they? Akpos: Koffi Anan & Koffi Olomide |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 1:04pm On Sep 28, 2013 |
Akpos: daddy,daddy.. Papa akpos: will u shut up Akpos: but daddy.... (papa akpors cuts in) Papa akpos: how many times have i told u not to talk while eating? Eat ur food first and u will tell me later (after food) Papa akpos: tell me what u want to say now Akpos: forget it daddy Papa akpos: will u tell me now before i bounce on u. Akpos: u have already eaten it Papa Akpos: eaten what? Akpos: i saw a cockroach in ur food,thats what i wanted to tell u |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by purpleprincess: 11:54am On Sep 30, 2013 |
lil jboy: TEACHER: Why did u bring a rope to the Exam hall?..lols 2 Likes |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 2:09pm On Oct 05, 2013 |
Teacher asks pupils to mention medicines they know & their uses. Little Susan stands & says... "PANADOL!" Teacher: Used for? Susan: I think headache! Teacher: Good.Yes Billy? Musa: PIRITON! Teacher: Used for? Musa: Helps in Sleeping.. Teacher: Excellent!! Yes Akpors! Akpos {confidently}: VIAGRA!! Teacher {nearly falls off her chair shocked}:What for  ??Akpos: I think Diarrhoea.. Teacher: Who told you that? Akpos: Everynight my mom tells Dad, "TAKE 2 VIAGRA PILLS, MAYBE THAT LITTLE SHITT WILL BE HARDER TODAY |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by Nobody: 1:25pm On Oct 06, 2013 |
Job welldone! Thanx for sharing 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 12:03am On Oct 09, 2013 |
Two men (akpos and johnny) planned to run away from the psychiatric hospital. They started planning and agreed that they will go to the gate, beat up the watchman, open the gate and run away. ... When they reached the gate, the watchman was not there and the gate was wide open. . . . . They turned to each other and said "sshit! our plan has failed. Lets go back, we will try again tomorrow." 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 9:53am On Oct 15, 2013 |
A 90 year old man marries an 18yr old woman and goes to a doctor. MAN: My 18 year wife is pregnant, your opinion doctor? Dr Akpos: ok, Let me tell you a story..A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of a gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle & BANG.. the lion drops dead.! Old man: That's impossible, someone else must have shot the lion. Like if you get it. 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 5:07pm On Oct 15, 2013 |
The kids refused to come together to take a class picture for their year book at a primary school. The teacher, trying to cajole them said, "we should all take this picture so that when you're all rich and famous you can point at each other in the yearbook and say, Look! There's Dan, his a big lawyer! And there's Samuel, he's the president!" Akpos laughed and said, "And there's the teacher, she's dead!" |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 5:08pm On Oct 15, 2013 |
Akpors was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. After a week he finally regained consciousness. The doctor was immediately summoned. DOCTOR: Your recovery was a miracle. AKPORS: Thank God! That means I don't have to pay you. 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by sweetiePe(f): 11:43pm On Oct 17, 2013 |
LOL! Funny akpors jokes on here A 90 year old man marries an 18yr old woman and goes to a doctor. MAN: My 18 year wife is pregnant, your opinion doctor? Dr Akpors: ok, Let me tell you a story.. A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of a gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle & BANG.. the lion drops dead.! Old man: That's impossible, someone else must have shot the lion. More Jokes:http://www.rosyside.com/pt/Funniest-Akpors-Jokes-Collection-10.11.2013/discussion.htm
|
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 10:48am On Oct 18, 2013 |
In a psychiatric hospital a Doctor wanted to test to know if they could release any of the insane men. The doctor drew a door on the wall and asked the patients to open and pass through it. All the insane men rushed to the door to open it except Akpos. He sat down and watched them. The doctor, thinking that Akpos’ brain is back to normal, goes to him Doctor: Akpos why are u sitting down? Akpos: They are all crazy! . They are busy wasting their time when the key to the door is in my pocket. 1 Like |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by sweetiePe(f): 11:09pm On Oct 20, 2013 |
See More Funny Akpors here>>>www.rosyside.com/pt/Funniest-Akpors-Jokes-Collection-10.11.2013/discussion.htm Akpors was caught red handed by his principal writing "MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL" PRINCIPAL: What nonsense are you writing? [about to Slap Akpors]. AKPORS: Sir, I have not finished writing it. PRINCIPAL: [angry] What do you mean. You are insulting me and you are telling me that you have not finished? AKPORS: This is not what I want to write. PRINCIPAL: So what did you want to write? AKPORS: I wanted to write "MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL'S ENEMIES" One word for akpos. |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 6:34am On Oct 22, 2013 |
sweetiePe: See More Funny Akpors here>>>www.rosyside.com/pt/Funniest-Akpors-Jokes-Collection-10.11.2013/discussion.htmi have posted this joke here before. . . Do me a favor, leave my thread for me. . . Wonder if moderators aint seeing this. |
| Re: Mr. Akpors by liljboy(m): 6:15am On Oct 23, 2013 |
Little akpors said: mummy do u know that our housegirl is an angel? Mum: how? Little akpors said: because i saw her unclothed with her hands on the wall shouting oh God!, am coming, am comin, am comin, if not for daddy that was holding her tight from the back, she would have flown to heaven. |
(1) (2) (3) ... (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (Reply)
I Have Found The Snake That Swallowed N36m In JAMB Office (Hilarious) / When Pastor Asks Virgins To Come Out (photo) / Fun Arena
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 56 |