Poster, You and this man both live in the UK, why not go and report to welfare?
Why the internet war and naming him on a website? Use the right channels and please consider this baby and what is healthy for him / her.You need to stay healthy and calm, don't let anger or bitterness hurt you or your baby.
Do the right thing, get support and tell your family so they can help.
Best wishes dear

femishosho@gmai:
he says he doesnt care who knows any doesnt care who i tell .. so hes name ...... as he does not care

ewo! i sabi g guy o! efosa mamaki? d no 2 for bucci?

Idowuogbo:
ewo! i sabi g guy o! efosa mamaki? d no 2 for bucci?

i dont speak pigeon english . so i dont understand what that means

You really shouldnt have published his name. I think this is something that can be resolved internally. This is taking things too far. He is still the father of your child. You bring shame to him, you bring shame to your child. Airing your dirty laundry outside doesnt help you. Now everyone knows who you are, and that you are silly enough to believe a married man for 4yrs. mtscheew

debrief08: Poster, You and this man both live in the UK, why not go and report to welfare?
Why the internet war and naming him on a website? Use the right channels and please consider this baby and what is healthy for him / her.You need to stay healthy and calm, don't let anger or bitterness hurt you or your baby.
Do the right thing, get support and tell your family so they can help.
Best wishes dear

i wasnt gona dare to write his name on here . but my reasons for doing so are that
1) he probably wont find out
2) it makes me feel alot better
3) and he said i could even tell his wife if i wanted so...

thing is i cant contact her on facebook as he has control over that and has blocked me from her account i could go to there house , but im sure he will be first at the door and just because he said he does not care am still deciding wether to tell her and isit becoasue im angry or because she should know the truth ?

also hes such a good liar he will probably make out that I'm am lying and say the affair was a lie so i dont really see the point , and who will she belive me? or man shes been with for 10 years?

i was really fine before until he decided to send me hate mail when i havnt even spoken to him

femishosho@gmai:


i dont speak pigeon english . so i dont understand what that means

oh ok! well... me think u is immature and silly for posting his details.

wot wud posting his details do? change times or wot? gal.. get a grip!

u liv in d uk, dey are tons and tons of channels available to you if u truly want him to take up his responsibility.

do d right thing and stop letting ur emotions get d best of u.

Let me even ask, after all this, do you intend on keeping this child? If you do and you want the child to have a healthy relationship with the dad in the future, stop all your rubbish. And ask the poster that quoted his name to unquote and remove where you wrote his name. Also know very well that your relationship has ended, and move on after the child's birth. This man will never leave his family for you. The earlier you embrace that reality the better for you.

Idowuogbo:
oh ok! well... me think u is immature and silly for posting his details.

wot wud posting his details do? change times or wot? gal.. get a grip!

u liv in d uk, dey are tons and tons of channels available to you if u truly want him to take up his responsibility.

do d right thing and stop letting ur emotions get d best of u.

ok true . i have taken his name off was just my anger got the better of me. i DONT want him to take responsibility i dont want anything todo with him i made that clear is just he thinks it ok to message me abuse and theres nothing i can do about it. i told him that if he does not stop i would tell everyone and he said he did not care . but to be honest i do i want him involved is just he needs to no he cant get away with messaging me abuse wen he feels like it , out of no where

femishosho@gmai:


ok true . i have taken his name off was just my anger got the better of me. i DONT want him to take responsibility i dont want anything todo with him i made that clear is just he thinks it ok to message me abuse and theres nothing i can do about it. i told him that if he does not stop i would tell everyone and he said he did not care . but to be honest i do i want him involved is just he needs to no he cant get away with messaging me abuse wen he feels like it , out of no where

If d abuse continues, report him to the Police.

Idowuogbo:
If d abuse continues, report him to the Police.

Unquote his name from your previous post.

Idowuogbo:
If d abuse continues, report him to the Police.

i will definatly do that the next time it happens 100 % is just he's such a good liar hell probably say im lying and we never had an affair an to be honest i really dont see why his wife would belive me over him . hes just the best liar i know. but thanks for the advice im calm now and was immature of me to post his name.


(is is possible for you to edit his name out of your quote please as i dont know how)

i jus feel like evn know to a bunch of strangers im still protecting him . i was seriously fine and at peace with myself before

baby_123:

Unquote his name from your previous post.

i did dat already.. madam!

femishosho@gmai:


i will definatly do that the next time it happens 100 % is just he's such a good liar hell probably say im lying and we never had an affair an to be honest i really dont see why his wife would belive me over him . hes just the best liar i know. but thanks for the advice im calm now and was immature of me to post his name.


(is is possible for you to edit his name out of your quote please as i dont know how)

i jus feel like evn know to a bunch of strangers im still protecting him . i was seriously fine and at peace with myself before

i did babe! now breathe.....

@Idowuogbo

thanks ...ignore the bracket sentence in my previous post .

femishosho@gmai:
@Idowuogbo

thanks ...ignore the bracket sentence in my previous post .

ooops! one more thing mama, change ur thread title pls...

Idowuogbo:
ooops! one more thing mama, change ur thread title pls...

lol to what ? distressed mental woman ? haha

i dont know why im laughing its not funny there was always gonna be a bad ending but i didnt dream of it ending like this . i dont want him in my life anymore thats for sure so im not trying to get money from him or make him be apart he just makes my blood boil and how everyone sees him as angel gabriel


(meant to say i do not want him involved in previous comment not i do)

femishosho@gmai:


lol to what ? distressed mental woman ? haha

i dont know why im laughing its not funny there was always gonna be a bad ending but i didnt dream of it ending like this . i dont want him in my life anymore thats for sure so im not trying to get money from him or make him be apart he just makes my blood boil and how everyone sees him as angel gabriel

d bolded sounds a lot better. jus teasing**

jokes aside, the person you allow get to you,conquers you...

Also....am sure u no one thing you can recycle is wasted time. MOVE ON! Its all about u and your baby's welfare,stop feeding him wiv your attention. ok?

Op, you are one out of a thousand girls who have experienced this. Majority will abort the child and live with the guilt and consequences of whatever may go wrong in the process of the abortion. A few will decide to keep the pregnancy, nuture it and have the baby. The begining wont be easy i tell you. There will be lots of regrets and side talks but at the end, you will always be proud of yourself.

Should you decide to keep the baby, with your family and friends support and love, you will be alright. When i was pregnant and living in a state very far from my parents, my friends (all married ladies) were always there for me. I never felt lonely or had time to even think about the marriage or ex. And when i put to bed, it was in my family home. My parents, siblings, friends never gave me breathing space so there was no time or room to think about the situation with ex. My child is one year old now and its like ex never existed in the first place!

All i'm trying to say is that you can be pregnant with no boyfriend and still be happy. Efemena and debrief has said alot and you should listen to them.

Forget about the man and move on with your life.

Idowuogbo:
d bolded sounds a lot better. jus teasing**

jokes aside, the person you allow get to you,conquers you...

Also....am sure u no one thing you can recycle is wasted time. MOVE ON! Its all about u and your baby's welfare,stop feeding him wiv your attention. ok?

thanks yes i will , blood pressure hit the roof there haha , but yeah it was immature to write his name but was better me doing that then telling people or going to his house , funny thing is he doesn't know im pregnant he was asking and begging to come round this week since monday and i said i was busy at college so he got pissed off and annoyed at me telling me a whole load of abuse and calling me dirty names which is not true and he knows it ,and if i am what he says then what does that make him ... I ignore him and he tries to tell me to stay away ? doesn't make sense but thats not even what angers me , its other stuff he says he jus knows how to get to me .. but why is what i want to know jus because he's not happy he thinks he can do that and theres no consequences of him .

and theres nothing i can do i just threatened to tell his wife about the affair because i was angry ,and he said his wife would never believe me which is probably true. i say i wanted to tell his wife but im too chicken maybe if i was truley to repent id have to do that but i feel as though its more me being spiteful then helpful.

so hes deciding to shout abuse at me for not jumping into bed with him. can u imagine if i tell him im pregnant .

its ridiculous , and hes never been like this before so its not like i stayed with an abusive man because i loved him its literally the last 3 months the whole dynamics have changed.

anyways thanks for your comments much appreciated .

probably a controversial comment but again another case of men vs women , men come out on top

PrettyCindy: Op, you are one out of a thousand girls who have experienced this. Majority will abort the child and live with the guilt and consequences of whatever may go wrong in the process of the abortion. A few will decide to keep the pregnancy, nuture it and have the baby. The begining wont be easy i tell you. There will be lots of regrets and side talks but at the end, you will always be proud of yourself.

Should you decide to keep the baby, with your family and friends support and love, you will be alright. When i was pregnant and living in a state very far from my parents, my friends (all married ladies) were always there for me. I never felt lonely or had time to even think about the marriage or ex. And when i put to bed, it was in my family home. My parents, siblings, friends never gave me breathing space so there was no time or room to think about the situation with ex. My child is one year old now and its like ex never existed in the first place!

All i'm trying to say is that you can be pregnant with no boyfriend and still be happy. Efemena and debrief has said alot and you should listen to them.

Forget about the man and move on with your life.

yes you nailed it! this is exactly what i want and believe i can achieve this , because i want to be happy . if it wasnt for the money aspect i would move away but not for the time being .

i believ i can be at peace i dont know if youve experienced this but the only bad feeling that keeps getting me is everyone thinking im a bad person , the evil woman because its really not like that im not spiteful and even though im so mad at him i would never do anything to hurt his wife and kids . .. and im scared that if i dont have the 1st say he will make me look bad that the thing keeping me awake at night like i need to tell the truth before he tells the lie

theres not a word for that emotion apart from that im fine .

Seriously, why do men give themselves this kind of wahala and endless nagging because of s.ex?

Is it really worth all the drama?

That's one thing i dont get about all these alagberes. Una like hypertension and woman problems sha.


Imagine these scenarios in the life of a male- do you like the sound of female whining or what.

Whao just came across your post, I would say its a tough
decision.

Well its good you don't wanna hurt his family, but please do think over this very well and ensure you have started making detailed plan towards your baby's future, and I don't mean diapers or room colour and all that but from those that won't love or care for your child, cut them off totally. Only have friends n family that support you around n only them should have access to you child.


Its gone be a ruff and a loving path for you, I doubt you would be alone for long, someone would come n love and cherish you and ur baby, u still young n you should learn and make a brighter future out of this.


As soon as u can talk to your parents, not only will they eventually know they re the ones who can really guide u.


Knowing he would force you to get what he wants, don't allow alone time with him or allow him visit u while u re alone, ve a relative or friend around when or if he visits, never say you pregnant say you are gonna have a baby soon. Dont try to defend the truth if he tell his wife a different story, its a nasty battle. Just detach urself from him n focus on your future.

The child can always know his father in a distant future but for now focus on ur child's future.

Take care of yourself

@OP
are you really sure that you are safe from/with this guy? If a man you have been with for 4 years treats you thisnway and tells you his wife will not believe you, you know he has no good plans for you. You should also know that he may want to ensure that his wife never believes you by whatever means.

Have you thought about the child that you are bringing into the world? You are already depriving this child of a family structure from the onset. Think of what is good for the child, forget about your own issues for a moment. There may be people here that were born in a similar way; what are their thoughts?

I hope that you make the right decision but telling him or not seems small compared to the danger you may be in.

Watch your back girl!

FYI-While I do not subscribe to immorality, your crime here in the eyes of man is getting pregnant. There are females (possibly on this forum, too) who partake in extramarital affairs with multiple men but as long asthey do not get caught (pregnant), they remain saints.

Tell your family everything.

He's a control freak who is used to getting his way with you. All his msgs to U are like a spoilt child giving a tantrum.
stop letting him corner you or intimidate you, in sure you have enough proof that this relationship was going on.
Don't let ppl paint you as a seducer, coz I'm sure in his recent messages he said U were cheap and a slut. This MO is very common.

so break this cycle admit your role and stupidity in letting this go on and tell your family. His wife is not your responsibility its HIS.

All this hiding is just postponing doomsday. Forget DNA test - more often than not children born from this situation look like the father anyways.

HHHHHmmmmmmm!!!! okay lemme breathe first *inhales/exhales*
Okay these are the highlights of this post......
1. You started screwing this guy at six-furking-teen OMG!!! Pray tell, when did you loose your virginity ?
2. You don't have an education and are not planning on getting one soon.
3. You obviously have wealthy and responsible parents who would rather endure the agony of watching you roast in a bid to correct you and make your life better.
4. You don't think your parents are intelligent and caring enough to handle and manage a recalcitrant , pregnant-out-of-wedlock daughter.
5. You obviously have no atom of feeling, you are devilish, selfish and possesed. You screwed a woman's husband for for years while still walking their kids in the park for the same period huh ? I bet you met in church. I have that feeling.
6. You are daft to have forgotten so soon newtons law that says for every action there exists an equal and opposite reaction. The action here is denying a woman and her three children the joy of a loving and committed father and the reaction is the cold, lonely and deserted spell you are about to endure.
7. You obviously thought he was gon divorce his wife cos of your stinky pussy huh ? How the tables turn, you are no more than a piece of trash. Worth even less than a packet of used condoms to him. You are now to him a malignant and cancerous infestation ravaging his whole system. as we type, he is heavily brainstorming the best and most efficient way to quarantine and possibly decapitate you from his body.
8. You are sure to get a pittyparty from your fellow home breakers here on Nairaland. Your parents most likely don't cheat on themselves and have managed to raise a beautiful home which you have chosen not to follow in their path.
Whos is the bastard now,YOU or YOUR INNOCENT BABY?

*its okay to grab a tissue at this point cos I have not even started yet I'll be back after playing this stubborn piece by Mozart on my violin*

Guitarlife: HHHHHmmmmmmm!!!! okay lemme breathe first *inhales/exhales*
Okay these are the highlights of this post......
1. You started screwing this guy at six-furking-teen OMG!!! Pray tell, when did you loose your virginity ?
2. You don't have an education and are not planning on getting one soon.
3. You obviously have wealthy and responsible parents who would rather endure the agony of watching you roast in a bid to correct you and make your life better.
4. You don't think your parents are intelligent and caring enough to handle and manage a recalcitrant , pregnant-out-of-wedlock daughter.
5. You obviously have no atom of feeling, you are devilish, selfish and possesed. You screwed a woman's husband for for years while still walking their kids in the park for the same period huh ? I bet you met in church. I have that feeling.
6. You are daft to have forgotten so soon newtons law that says for every action there exists an equal and opposite reaction. The action here is denying a woman and her three children the joy of a loving and committed father and the reaction is the cold, lonely and deserted spell you are about to endure.
7. You obviously thought he was gon divorce his wife cos of your stinky pussy huh ? How the tables turn, you are no more than a piece of trash. Worth even less than a packet of used condoms to him. You are now to him a malignant and cancerous infestation ravaging his whole system. as we type, he is heavily brainstorming the best and most efficient way to quarantine and possibly decapitate you from his body.
8. You are sure to get a pittyparty from your fellow home breakers here on Nairaland. Your parents most likely don't cheat on themselves and have managed to raise a beautiful home which you have chosen not to follow in their path.
Whos is the bastard now,YOU or YOUR INNOCENT BABY?

*its okay to grab a tissue at this point cos I have not even started yet I'll be back after playing this stubborn piece by Mozart on my violin*

Na you give am belle. haha

gabbytabby:


Na you give am belle. haha

am a technical virgin and you can take that to the bank

femishosho@gmai:
I'm not looking for sympathy . am just telling my story and problem on here anonymously to listen to peoples responses. as i cant really go around discussing with people openly.

i know I'm not innocent but I've always tried to end it with him.
funny how its always the womans fault

it's nt ur fault my dear, i undstnd. Bt will u agree dt u were jes weak because of his sexx? And u propably love him, he does too bt can't live his wife. U wish it ends and u get urself ur own man bt u kept comin back together, right? Now u're angry, and u won't abort cos u want a bit of hom foreva.
I knw ds, cos am talkin from xperience.

Lemme tell u d truth, u cant leave him evn wen u giv birth. He's comin bk, bt he'll still wont b proud to av u as number one. Sorry

call me insensitive but I can never understand a woman going around with anoda woman's husband for more than 4yrs and coming to a public forum to discuss her sins. I really can't understand that, especially when she says she doesnt want sympathy from her readers. I still refuse to understand it, especially when I think what the woman, whose husband she has been opening her legs and ass for is going through right now. What hell and torment she may be putting herself through, asking herself what she did wrong, if she is a woman cos she couldn't keep her husband from anoda woman. Look madam, u got 2 take responsibility of ur action and keep ur dirty linen to urself. Its strictly and plainly ur fault cos if u didn't open ur legs, the man won't put his thing inside. If a woman does not want to f.cuk no jupiter can pressurize her. After all he didn't have a gun to ur head, did he?

KINGwax: it's nt ur fault my dear, i undstnd. Bt will u agree dt u were jes weak because of his sexx? And u propably love him, he does too bt can't live his wife. U wish it ends and u get urself ur own man bt u kept comin back together, right? Now u're angry, and u won't abort cos u want a bit of hom foreva.
I knw ds, cos am talkin from xperience.

Lemme tell u d truth, u cant leave him evn wen u giv birth. He's comin bk, bt he'll still wont b proud to av u as number one. Sorry

Realist

@drnoel; I doubt he had a gun to her head .... and who is she fooling? .... she will have her baby and she will lure that agbaya back again( power of kitty) and resume where they left off and she will have another baby..... call me whatever if it didn't happen years to come

.... obo n gbobo gopę( monkey carry monkey in top of tree)

I've been waiting for a pragmatist to come on here and say it as it is .... Thanks Guitar I can always count on your neat approach. It changed the tone of this thread.

...... Home wrecker looking for a pity party.... all your mates are preparing for their S.A.Ts and grad dress tryouts at 16... You're busy FVCKING a married man.... I have failed and so are my ancestors if any of my girls turn out like you... mtcheww