baby_123:

My own father did not care too much about clothes. Does that mean he was suffering. It is even my mum that stocks and restocked his wardrobe with clothes, so they dont say he does not look good. People place emphasis on different things, so you cannot judge based on an outsiders view. If you have spent time in a marriage and levels changed during that marriage, then each spouse should be entitled to something. You just want to be able to marry as many and do away with them as much as possible. It shouldnt be that way and you know it. You didnt fall from the sky and have a mum. How would you feel if she was treated the way you are suggesting?

If a man wasnt spending his money on clothes what do you think he was spending his money on? probably building houses, paying school fees etc

So why should the woman who was spending her own money on clothes and jewelries during the marriage now come later to claim part of what the man struggled for while she was acquiring jewelries?

Only if you drop money for the asset e.g the woman dropped money to build houses or buy land thats when she has a right to it. Not by sitting down spending her own money on what she likes and at the end open her mouth to say she wants the house/land she contributed NADA to to be split

Thats robbery

FXKing2012: All these dudes saying they dont support divorce settlement are only being selfish and wicked.

So many men insist on their wives being full housewives; so many men dont allow their wives to study further after marriage; women are forced to put their careers and studies on hold due to pregnancy or marriage; so many women help their husbands achieve emotional stability which helps the men perform well in the office, but when they separate/divorce the guy keeps everything while the woman leaves with nothing plus the responsibility of taking care of the kids. Now ask yourselves, is that fair?

@op God bless you!

dayokanu:

baby123, Im back

Why should the properties be shared?

Havent we seen during marriage the husband would be wearing old school clothes to build a house, while the wife is changing wardrobe with everything she earns

In some cases the man pays for everything the woman just use her money to buy clothes creams and use for herself

So whats the rational behind them splitting what the man has worked for denying himself several things in the process while the women was changing clothes

Lemme ask you have you seen the wardrobe of an average naija man and compared it to that of the average Naija woman? Jewelries inclusive
Thats what most women use their income for
So now tell me why the man should have to split his own assets when he too could have been buying clothes but decided to invest it

@dayo
I used an example of a 15 year old marriage and I also said, along with the length of marriage, other factors should be considered.

If the woman has been spending her money on jeweleries, I wanna believe that's gonna be worth something too and from my understanding, all properties shared are normally declared to the judge during the divorce.

Who gets what can be determined from how much each party invested. The current finacial status should also be considered, I don't think the judge will/should give more to a reckless spender than a wise investor.

Even if she didn't put in a lot of money, she must have done so in other ways.

It goes back again to the other factors I stated, a 5 year marriage should probably be dissolved without sharing properties except whatever is owned individually.

FXKing2012: All these dudes saying they dont support divorce settlement are only being selfish and wicked.

So many men insist on their wives being full housewives; so many men dont allow their wives to study further after marriage; women are forced to put their careers and studies on hold due to pregnancy or marriage; so many women help their husbands achieve emotional stability which helps the men perform well in the office, but when they separate/divorce the guy keeps everything while the woman leaves with nothing plus the responsibility of taking care of the kids. Now ask yourselves, is that fair?

Are you married at all. You seem to be a noise maker discussing marriage from a theoretical point of view.

dayokanu:

If a man wasnt spending his money on clothes what do you think he was spending his money on? probably building houses, paying school fees etc

So why should the woman who was spending her own money on clothes and jewelries during the marriage now come later to claim part of what the man struggled for while she was acquiring jewelries?

Only if you drop money for the asset e.g the woman dropped money to build houses or buy land thats when she has a right to it. Not by sitting down spending her own money on what she likes and at the end open her mouth to say she wants the house/land she contributed NADA to to be split

Thats robbery

The woman who was spending her money on clothes and jewelry? Well i didnt grow up in such an environment. And even then, it must have been an agreement between husband and wife. I am sure a wife contributes to her family purse in more ways than one. So this example really doesnt follow or work in real life settings. If the man asks her to keep her money, she should now pay for his decision in the end.

icon aus: I live in the western society . I am witnessing the havoc this law is doing in the western world . Child custody , divorce settlement and child support . These are man made or articial laws that gave woman power over men thats why there is marriage fallure in the west . No family. unfortunately women are abusing this law . They use it to control men , starve men of sex , vebally abuse men and even beat men up knowing that the law protects her . A man does not have a say in the western world knowing the consequence of divorcing . Imagine a man being kicked out indiscrimately over slightest argument from the house he owns or jointly own , lose his children and every thing he has laboured for . Worse for african man who performed all the marriages rites backhome , married the woman ,sponsored the wedding alone , transported the woman to western world even assisted her to get a career to be kicked out eventually . please please this distructive law should not be allowed in Nigeria - it will destroy our marriage/family institution which is the envy of the world . Women are troubele makers and more self centred, and cannot be satisfied . They always complain of one thing or the other . They take advange of this kind of law to mete out wickedness or destroy men's lives in the western . Most men who are useles, homeless , drug addicts are products of women oppression of the men in the ist world .

In our society ( africa ) things are still quite natural . in my tribe ( Igbo), men dont abandon their kids irrespective of the marriage situation. Men mostly get the custody of the child while the woman goes . Even if the children are with the wife, the man still take responsibility therefore we dont need those law as they re counter productive in terms of family . Women in the west before marriage , had already started calculating what she will get in the event of divorce hence giving room for the collapse of the marraige at a slightest disagreement . Marraige is a challenge . Each marriage is bound to fail; it is dependent on people involved to make it work - western society destroyed that by giving too much power to women who cannot control it . By nature God has given the man the power to be in charge or the head of family..But by this law, a woman is in charge in the west hence divorce abounds - we dont want it in Africa. Indians, china are the rising powers because of the strong belief in family structure . Charity begins at home . In the west no respect for family and men and that is one of the mistakes of the west . A place where singles mothers are the order of the society . What do you expect of the the children being raised by a single mother?PEOPLE SHOULD STOP THINKING THAT THE WESTERN VALUES ARE BETTER THAN OURS . Some white people would confess that they admire our culture and would wish to have one and people are here clamouring for western culture for their self benefit - Whenever such a law of kicking a man out of his own house is being debated in Nigeria 1 will personally sponsor it be killed immediately because i currently witnessing the devastating effects of these laws in the West . In the west men are no more men . If u re a man and you re planning to re locate to the western world- beware and bewarned; re think because your wife will frustrate you unles you have an angel as a wife .

For women who happen to get child outside wedlock - it is pity . if you re lucky the man will be there to support you and the child otherwise you can go to the court as there is provison for that in our law .

these words are overloaded with wisdom,women and unpredicable wen give access to power by these so called laws.

FXKing2012:
At first I was very disappointed and surprised seeing such a comment but then I saw your name and the disappointment and surprise simply dissolved.

You do not even know what is happening in the western world, have you heard of a cased of a man who killed all his ex in-law on christmas eve before committing suicide and he left a letter about court ordering him to settle a woman who cheated on her with another man.... Get close to the western world and see how depressed they are about settling a woman who even cheat on them with another man despite man labouring for everything, I am only in support of Child Support and protection but a woman who cheat on his man and asking for divorce because he want to steal part of his success is not encouraging successful marriage everywhere, most women in western world now believe it is another source of get rich scheme to them

I may agree to child support but divorce settlement is a no no no,abi marriage na civil service where person dey pay gratuity and pension?
And don't give me the poo of she helped you build your wealth and all that? The man force am ni abi dem dey force person marry husband ni?
If your lazy ass don't wanna get up and get a job,continue waitin for divorce settlement but not in naija......

baby_123:

The woman who was spending her money on clothes and jewelry? Well i didnt grow up in such an environment. And even then, it must have been an agreement between husband and wife. I am sure a wife contributes to her family purse in more ways than one. So this example really doesnt follow or work in real life settings. If the man asks her to keep her money, she should now pay for his decision in the end.

Throw it open here and ask how many women contribute to develomental things in the house.

there was a thread on this family section where one woman came to complain that her husband is asking her to contribute to buying a land that isnt that a mans job. Anyone who remembers the thread shouls help find it.

That she was complaining about paying 1/3 of the rent and contributing to buying a land.

In most nigerian homes, The man 100% does all the developmental projects while in Most naija homes the women money goes to shopping most of the time.

Another thread like 2 weeks ago a man came to complain that he picks ALL the bills in the house, and the wife still asks for monthly allowance.

Unfortnately thats how it happens in a lot of cases in Nigeria. A lot of Naija women are not used to spending any of their dime on the family or investment the ones that do it have the notion that "They are helping the man perform his duties"

2legit2qwt:


@dayo
I used an example of a 15 year old marriage and I also said, along with the length of marriage, other factors should be considered.

If the woman has been spending her money on jeweleries, I wanna believe that's gonna be worth something too and from my understanding, all properties shared are normally declared to the judge during the divorce.

Who gets what can be determined from how much each party invested. The current finacial status should also be considered, I don't think the judge will/should give more to a reckless spender than a wise investor.

Even if she didn't put in a lot of money, she must have done so in other ways.

It goes back again to the other factors I stated, a 5 year marriage should probably be dissolved without sharing properties except whatever is owned individually.

I think the only thing that should be considered is what each individual contributed to the asset in question.

You think a judge would be sharing the Lace and Jacquard the woman bought in 1998?

Whats the worth of the Satin lace or Damask bought for 100k in 1998 nowadays?

Sharing should be based on contribution only

Let the woman go with her jewelries and clothes she bought and the man go with the house and land he bought plus the ragged shirt and trousers

I suppose child support 100percent i can even lay down my life for my child talk less of money but for paying the ex , i say NOOO!! ,ok wait oh,wat if the table is turned around, we the woman pay the said money to the ex?

Dayo has a point about some Nigerian women and their mentality when it comes to finances at home.

I personally think that a lot of things have to change before Nigeria starts thinking of introducing alimony into marriages.

Prenuptial agreement is needed first with all the gold diggers around

It amazing that we really don't look at the impact of all these foreign laws before we start calling for them to be implemented in Nigeria here. What has that law benefitted America and other Countries that have them in place? Nada! rather it increased the rate of divorces by Geometric proportions and you see a lot of children growing up with single parents either on the father's side or the mother's side.

I visit the US often and can tell you the rate at which Nigerian women are ditching their Nigerian husbands and what heart breaks it is causing so many of them is really pitiable. As I write this, I have a friend in Arlington, Dallas Texas who is yet to get back on his feet because of what the wife did to him. This guy was a wonderful husband and all a woman could want in a man, but suddenly the Benin wife he brought from Nigeria and sent to Nursing school in the US decided to date a younger fellow nurse, before you know it... she was asking for divorce, got the house and drove my friend out. That my friend is currently living in the Dining Room of another of our friend there in the US cos that one has four kids and the wife in a three bedroom apartment, so no spare room for the guy.

What about the case of the Nigerian professor they said drove several miles to go and shoot his divorced wife dead in Houston sometime in 2011 because she was frustrating the life out of him. Let's not deceive ourselves, if this law is introduced in Nigeria... forget about family and traditional values, our society will fall into deep retardation that we'll keep asking ourselves 'How did we get here'.

Even without this law in place you can see that some of our women have already lost values for the sanctity of marriage. Me I don't think this will be a good idea at all oh!

dayokanu:

I think the only thing that should be considered is what each individual contributed to the asset in question.

You think a judge would be sharing the Lace and Jacquard the woman bought in 1998?

Whats the worth of the Satin lace or Damask bought for 100k in 1998 nowadays?

Sharing should be based on contribution only

Let the woman go with her jewelries and clothes she bought and the man go with the house and land he bought plus the ragged shirt and trousers

That's my point all along, it should be based on contributions along with the other factors I listed above

dayokanu:

I think the only thing that should be considered is what each individual contributed to the asset in question.

You think a judge would be sharing the Lace and Jacquard the woman bought in 1998?

Whats the worth of the Satin lace or Damask bought for 100k in 1998 nowadays?

Sharing should be based on contribution only

Let the woman go with her jewelries and clothes she bought and the man go with the house and land he bought plus the ragged shirt and trousers

Dayo, do i smell a new POV? . I think sharing should be based on what was acquired during the length of the marriage. Child support should be for Children out of wedlock. But in the case of a divorce, yes, i support a settlement. Whatever was acquired during the union especially if kids are involved should be shared equally.

baby_123:

Every couple is different. I personally will stay at home till my kids start school when they come. And it has already been agreed. I wont miss those years for any money in the world. Neither would i put them in the care of a stranger or my parents. I am not lazy in any way, shape or form. So because you think your wife should be a certain way, does not mean others should adopt that. It also doesn't make the woman lazy. The amount a woman sacrifices to stay home is unquantifiable.

You are making noise because you are married to a man who can provide for you and your children. Assuming your husband is struggling, you will work even 10 hours per day plus Saturday and Sunday sef.

2good:

You are making noise because you are married to a man who can provide for you and your children. Assuming your husband is struggling, you will work even 10 hours per day plus Saturday and Sunday sef.

Okay, i know gatemen whose wives stay at home. What exactly is your point. . And who is making noise here? If you cant argue constructively please just read.

baby_123:

Dayo, do i smell a new POV? . I think sharing should be based on what was acquired during the length of the marriage. Child support should be for Children out of wedlock. But in the case of a divorce, yes, i support a settlement. Whatever was acquired during the union especially if kids are involved should be shared equally.

I have always maintained that assets JOINTLY acquired should be shared. Its fraud for a woman to contribute to building a house or buying a land and she is chased away empty handed.

What is acquired by who? The wife use her money to acquire laces and chains, the Husband use his money to buy house and land

So why should they be sharing the house upon divorce?

Settlement of what? You only settle when you contribute to it. You use your money to buy makeup, clothes and jewelries then take it away with you and the guy who used his own money to buy house and land should also take it away SHIKENA

sdbaba: It amazing that we really don't look at the impact of all these foreign laws before we start calling for them to be implemented in Nigeria here. What has that law benefitted America and other Countries that have them in place? Nada! rather it increased the rate of divorces by Geometric proportions and you see a lot of children growing up with single parents either on the father's side or the mother's side.

I visit the US often and can tell you the rate at which Nigerian women are ditching their Nigerian husbands and what heart breaks it is causing so many of them is really pitiable. As I write this, I have a friend in Arlington, Dallas Texas who is yet to get back on his feet because of what the wife did to him. This guy was a wonderful husband and all a woman could want in a man, but suddenly the Benin wife he brought from Nigeria and sent to Nursing school in the US decided to date a younger fellow nurse, before you know it... she was asking for divorce, got the house and drove my friend out. That my friend is currently living in the Dining Room of another of our friend there in the US cos that one has four kids and the wife in a three bedroom apartment, so no spare room for the guy.

What about the case of the Nigerian professor they said drove several miles to go and shoot his divorced wife dead in Houston sometime in 2011 because she was frustrating the life out of him. Let's not deceive ourselves, if this law is introduced in Nigeria... forget about family and traditional values, our society will fall into deep retardation that we'll keep asking ourselves 'How did we get here'.

Even without this law in place you can see that some of our women have already lost values for the sanctity of marriage. Me I don't think this will be a good idea at all oh!

ur on point. Women wen given a metre they take it to nautical miles.

sdbaba: It amazing that we really don't look at the impact of all these foreign laws before we start calling for them to be implemented in Nigeria here. What has that law benefitted America and other Countries that have them in place? Nada! rather it increased the rate of divorces by Geometric proportions and you see a lot of children growing up with single parents either on the father's side or the mother's side.

I visit the US often and can tell you the rate at which Nigerian women are ditching their Nigerian husbands and what heart breaks it is causing so many of them is really pitiable. As I write this, I have a friend in Arlington, Dallas Texas who is yet to get back on his feet because of what the wife did to him. This guy was a wonderful husband and all a woman could want in a man, but suddenly the Benin wife he brought from Nigeria and sent to Nursing school in the US decided to date a younger fellow nurse, before you know it... she was asking for divorce, got the house and drove my friend out. That my friend is currently living in the Dining Room of another of our friend there in the US cos that one has four kids and the wife in a three bedroom apartment, so no spare room for the guy.

What about the case of the Nigerian professor they said drove several miles to go and shoot his divorced wife dead in Houston sometime in 2011 because she was frustrating the life out of him. Let's not deceive ourselves, if this law is introduced in Nigeria... forget about family and traditional values, our society will fall into deep retardation that we'll keep asking ourselves 'How did we get here'.

Even without this law in place you can see that some of our women have already lost values for the sanctity of marriage. Me I don't think this will be a good idea at all oh!

ur on point. Women wen given a metre they take it to nautical miles.

All these devils who are not married and are already thinking of how they will break their marriages apart because they cannot keep their libido in check. Divorce is not in our character. 99% of Nigerian marriages are between families and not between just the man and wife. A man who divorces his wife does not have respect and value among his kinsmen. Just like Nigeria and Africa has continued to make it loud and clear to the Western world that homosexuality is alien to our culture and values so also is divorce despite any law that exist. All we want to imitate from the West are their evils.

Guys check out this link and videos below it. http://m.youtube.com/watch?client=mv-nokia&gl=NG&hl=en&v=gmcWqCF21NM

dayokanu:

I have always maintained that assets JOINTLY acquired should be shared. Its fraud for a woman to contribute to building a house or buying a land and she is chased away empty handed.

What is acquired by who? The wife use her money to acquire laces and chains, the Husband use his money to buy house and land

So why should they be sharing the house upon divorce?

Settlement of what? You only settle when you contribute to it. You use your money to buy makeup, clothes and jewelries then take it away with you and the guy who used his own money to buy house and land should also take it away SHIKENA

Dayo, you have too much of a traditionalist and simplistic view of women. Which i think is too far fetched. A lot of women contribute seriously to building their families and are thrown out. I even know women who actually own the money and the properties, but put it in the hands of the man so that society will not laugh at him. In the end they lose it all. You cannot with a straight face say a woman contributes nothing. Its not even possible. Why then does a man live a will for his wife and kids? You might as well share it amongst your family, friends and girlfriends.

2legit2qwt: Dayo has a point about some Nigerian women and their mentality when it comes to finances at home.

I personally think that a lot of things have to change before Nigeria starts thinking of introducing alimony into marriages.

Prenuptial agreement is needed first with all the gold diggers around

Ask around how many Naija women contribute financially to any capital project?

Have you gone to any market or mall and see how women spend their money? Yet they would come later and say lets share the house the man bought

baby_123:

Okay, i know gatemen whose wives stay at home. What exactly is your point. . And who is making noise here? If you cant argue constructively please just read.

read d story of dat dull texas guy above.... What if d dude z ur bro..?....... D worst mistake a man can do z to marry a liability dat seats at home to watch bba nd africa magic why u slave on..... Dt law has done more harm than good.... Many broken homes ... N thus many kids are growing up without a complete family setting ........

dayokanu:

Ask around how many Naija women contribute financially to any capital project?

Have you gone to any market or mall and see how women spend their money? Yet they would come later and say lets share the house the man bought

That is not true. My mum owns capital projects she built. It is people like you that will come and fight a widow thinking she contributed nothing, because she is a woman. Only to be disgraced with documents. Because women dont shout so men would not be mocked, doesnt mean they are incapable of owning their own things.

dayo.....smh......who are you afraid of?

This has to be your favorite topic.

You dey fear women o.

baby_123:

Dayo, you have too much of a traditionalist and simplistic view of women. Which i think is too far fetched. A lot of women contribute seriously to building their families and are thrown out. I even know women who actually own the money and the properties, but put it in the hands of the man so that society will not laugh at him. In the end they lose it all. You cannot with a straight face say a woman contributes nothing. Its not even possible. Why then does a man live a will for his wife and kids? You might as well share it amongst your family, friends and girlfriends.

Its not a simplistic view its what happens its the reality. Go to any mall its the women who buys all the clothes there all the shoes and jewelries, I know several naija women who would tell you they cant wear a cloth twice.

I knw one who got to a party saw someone wearing the same thing and went to change. Most Naija women have 3-4 wardrobes filled with clothes Where did they get the money to buy them from?


Its the same salary she is spending on clothes another guy would piece together in 15yrs he would have 2 houses while the woman has several wardrobes and she would open her mouth and say lets share the properties

There might be some exceptions but in most Naija family its the guy who does 100% of the capital expenses.

If youre in America Watch this show called Princess on CNBC every saturday at 9pm CST about women who spend every thing they have and ever credit cards buying clothes shoes and jewelries. How many men are ever on the show?

baby_123:

That is not true. My mum owns capital projects she built. It is people like you that will come and fight a widow thinking she contributed nothing, because she is a woman. Only to be disgraced with documents. Because women dont shout so men would not be mocked, doesnt mean they are incapable of owning their own things.

We have seen several times on here where the woman comes to complain that her husband asks her to contribute to capital projects or finances in the house.

There are few women here and there who do it but most Naija women just fold their hands saying its the mans job

Africans and their follow follow attitude,smh.Must you always judge or make your societies according to whites/ Western standards,aren't you ashamed? What will be your identity in this world?or better what's even your identity in the first place.smh

dayokanu:

Its not a simplistic view its what happens its the reality. Go to any mall its the women who buys all the clothes there all the shoes and jewelries, I know several naija women who would tell you they cant wear a cloth twice.

I knw one who got to a party saw someone wearing the same thing and went to change. Most Naija women have 3-4 wardrobes filled with clothes Where did they get the money to buy them from?

There might be some exceptions but in most Naija family its the guy who does 100% of the capital expenses.

If youre in America Watch this show called Princess on CNBC every saturday at 9pm CST about women who spend every thing they have and ever credit cards buying clothes shoes and jewelries. How many men are ever on the show?

haba Dayo, i probably can open a boutique with my clothes, but i bought it with my money. Women's clothes are waaaay cheaper than mens. As i buy for me, i also buy for my man. He is like my father, so i buy for him so that when we step out he will not embarrass me. Clothes are not first priority to him, so i cover that area. For men it can be electronics or other things that they fancy. They buy those too at an alarming rate. Are we to use that to somehow make excuses?

@op nice topic. But seriously, this law will never work in naija due to these factors
1. Level of poverty: how do u expect someone dat earn just 100k as salary to pay divorce settlement. After paying rent, skool fees, food, clothing e.tc how much go remain ?
2. The society we live in : In Nigeria where unemployment is very high and some men are jobless, there's no way a man dat steals his wife's money at night to drink beer will be able to pay when divorce occur; rather, the man would even steal 4rm d woman.