dayokanu:

if she cant provide good accommodation let her give the kids to the partner who has the resources.

Having babies is not a source of income

What resources do you have to take care of the kids? Do you have the time and patience it takes to be a mother? How is having your OWN kids a source of income. You seem to not be able to detach emotional and monetary feelings. Maybe that will change soon by God's grace. Money is not everything. For your kids comfort, a good father will do anything, no matter how angry or spiteful.

baby_123:

okay, so you send her out to where? Your kids will most likely live with her where

What if she can only afford a face me i face you.

why does she have to take the kids? You want her to take MY kids and still expect me to give her money?

baby_123:

Every couple is different. I personally will stay at home till my kids start school when they come. And it has already been agreed. I wont miss those years for any money in the world. Neither would i put them in the care of a stranger or my parents. I am not lazy in any way, shape or form. So because you think your wife should be a certain way, does not mean others should adopt that. It also doesnt make the woman lazy. The amount a woman sacrifices to stay home is unquantifiable.

What sacrifice does a stay at home mom make that those women who work dont?

Other women who are working and taking care of their families do they have 12 limbs?

A-ZeD:

why does she have to take the kids? You want her to take MY kids and still expect me to give her money?

Ok, lets say your kids stay with you. Who will take care of them? Your girlfriend? How many girlfriends in your lifetime . You really wouldnt mind your kids being unstable and have a warped sense of relationships to prove a point would you.

FXKing2012: I think the divorce settlement law should be introduced in Nigeria to protect women as well as the child support law to protect children. Any civilized society ought to have such laws in place to protect women and children.

So many men insist on their wives being full housewives; so many men dont allow their wives to study further after marriage; women are forced to put their careers and studies on hold due to pregnancy or marriage; so many women help their husbands achieve emotional stability which helps the men perform well in the office, but when they separate/divorce
the guy keeps everything while the woman leaves with nothing
plus the responsibility of taking care of the kids. Now ask
yourselves, is that fair?

What is your take on this?

You mean there isn't such a law? Thats why nigerian men go home to marry.

chaircover:

The men too will wise up and only marry women of equal or almost equal financial clout or refuse to get married at all.

Then we're back to the starting point.

baby_123:

What resources do you have to take care of the kids? Do you have the time and patience it takes to be a mother? How is having your OWN kids a source of income. You seem to not be able to detach emotional and monetary feelings. Maybe that will change soon by God's grace. Money is not everything. For your kids comfort, a good father will do anything, no matter how angry or spiteful.

If she doesnt have the resources to provide a good environment for the kids to grow then she should hand them to whoever has the resources

There are many single dads out there who take care of the kids. So if she cant feed and house herself no use taking kids with her and make them suffer too because she is too lazy to fend for herself.

A good father would do anything which includes taking the kids with himself and fending for them not financing the lifestyle of a lazy ex-wife

baby_123:

Ok, lets say your kids stay with you. Who will take care of them? Your girlfriend? How many girlfriends in your lifetime . You really wouldnt mind your kids being unstable and have a warped sense of relationships to prove a point would you.

The man can hire a nanny or bring his own mother to care for the kids instead of the lazy ex-wife to put them in a face me i face you

So what stability do the kids have staying with a single mom who brings in different boyfriends in her face me i face you house

dayokanu:

If she doesnt have the resources to provide a good environment for the kids to grow then she should hand them to whoever has the resources

There are many single dads out there who take care of the kids. So if she cant feed and house herself no use taking kids with her and make them suffer too because she is too lazy to fend for herself.

A good father would do anything which includes taking the kids with himself and fending for them not financing the lifestyle of a lazy ex-wife

dayokanu:

The man can hire a nanny or bring his own mother to care for the kids instead of the lazy ex-wife to put them in a face me i face you

So what stability do the kids have staying with a single mom who brings in different boyfriends in her face me i face you house

You keep trying to paint the woman as lazy because she doesnt have the same spending power you do. Some people work from morning till night and still cant afford basic things. Do we now say they are lazy? Being a stay at home mum never made anyone lazy. That is a fallacy you need to stop spreading. It is a sacrifice and a very big one at that. The woman will come back to see her Juniors be her boss. But you know what, the satisfaction that your kids are safe with a good head start in life is good enough.

Why will another woman take care of a woman's kids while she is still alive? I dont think your kids will forgive you for that.

baby_123:

Ok, lets say your kids stay with you. Who will take care of them? Your girlfriend? How many girlfriends in your lifetime . You really wouldnt mind your kids being unstable and have a warped sense of relationships to prove a point would you.

I will take care of them. If a woman can, why can't i?

A-ZeD:

I will take care of them. If a woman can, why can't i?

Very very easy to say. With the help of nanny and all.

baby_123:

Very very easy to say. With the help of nanny and all.

Isn't it funny that you think a single woman can take care of the kids but a singe man can't?

A-ZeD:

Isn't it funny that you think a single woman can take care of the kids but a singe man can't?

In the Nigerian setting, it is difficult even for a woman not to talk of a man. You spend at least 2-3hrs in traffic alone. What time do you have? Kids are being raised by househelps. We are talking about Nigeria here. Except you sef are planning to be a stay at home daddy.

even if the law is introduced - how will it be enforced.

baby_123:

You keep trying to paint the woman as lazy because she doesnt have the same spending power you do. Some people work from morning till night and still cant afford basic things. Do we now say they are lazy? Being a stay at home mum never made anyone lazy. That is a fallacy you need to stop spreading. It is a sacrifice and a very big one at that. The woman will come back to see her Juniors be her boss. But you know what, the satisfaction that your kids are safe with a good head start in life is good enough.

Why will another woman take care of a woman's kids while she is still alive? I dont think your kids will forgive you for that.

And the kids would forgive you for having several boyfriends and sugardadies rotate on being their dad?

Its lazy to want to live beyond what your handiwork can provide. To want to stay at home doing nothing is also lazy. If we dont have women who work and also raise families then we can say its the only way.

What are the things a woman would be doing at home between 7am and 4pm when kids are away?

Beyond the age of two children are supposed to be in kidergarten learning. Theres nothing you can teach them at home that can match the social skills they learn from mixing with other kids. They learn to share their space, make friends, atimes share their snacks, share a joke and make build confidence among their peers unlike the shielded one at home who is with mommy all day and night

What does a sit at home single mom teaches her child? That its okay to sit at home watch TV, entertain other men while another person slave away to feed you

dayokanu:

And the kids would forgive you for having several boyfriends and sugardadies rotate on being their dad?

Its lazy to want to live beyond what your handiwork can provide. To want to stay at home doing nothing is also lazy. If we dont have women who work and also raise families then we can say its the only way.

What are the things a woman would be doing at home between 7am and 4pm when kids are away?

Beyond the age of two children are supposed to be in kidergarten learning. Theres nothing you can teach them at home that can match the social skills they learn from mixing with other kids. They learn to share their space, make friends, atimes share their snacks, share a joke and make build confidence among their peers unlike the shielded one at home who is with mommy all day and night

What does a sit at home single mom teaches her child? That its okay to sit at home watch TV, entertain other men while another person slave away to feed you

Kids dont stay in school till 4pm. In kindergarten i know they come out at 1. It is till they are in primary school, without after school activities. its like 2 or 3 sef. A woman who stays at home is not lazy in any way. If you were to pay her for all she did, i think you would have to quit. To get a good nanny sef in the US is very expensive. Dayo, you are going black and white again. Life is not black and white. Let us go back to the divorce settlement stuff, even if a woman works while you are married, she is entitled to something during the course of the union. That you both acquired. Especially jointly owned properties. And a divorce settlement is only to make her maintain at least a comfortable living especially if the children are to be in her care. It is the court that will decide it. We can be on this till day break. A woman's presence at home when kids are little cannot be explained away.

baby_123:

Kids dont stay in school till 4pm. In kindergarten i know they come out at 1. It is till they are in primary school, without after school activities. its like 2 or 3 sef. A woman who stays at home is not lazy in any way. If you were to pay her for all she did, i think you would have to quit. To get a good nanny sef in the US is very expensive.Dayo, you are going black and white again. Life is not black and white. Let us go back to the divorce settlement stuff, even if a woman works while you are married, she is entitled to something during the course of the union. That you both acquired. Especially jointly owned properties. And a divorce settlement is only to make her maintain at least a comfortable living especially if the children are to be in her care. It is the court that will decide it. We can be on this till day break. A woman's presence at home when kids are little cannot be explained away.

What is the sit at home housewife teaching the kids that is better than what they are taught at KG class

that can match the social skills they learn from mixing with other kids. They learn to share their space, make friends, atimes share their snacks, share a joke and make build confidence among their peers.

Pay her for doing the child a disservice and stunting the child's educational and social development?

If a woman works during the course of the marriage then she is entitled to exactly what she contributed to the household nothing more UNLESS the man is being magnanimous

If you have jointly owned properties then It doesnt make sense for one party to cart it away. They have to split it based on contribution ratio.

Its doesnt make sense for one adult to be compelled to make another adults life comfortable. If she cant comfortably take care of the kids she can hand them to the comfortable partner.

After the normal maternity leave the mothers presence at home with the child is not compulsory neither is it essential its personal and after a certain age it becomes detrimental to the childs development like I have stated above

So she was accustomed to a particular lifestyle when she was married. Now that she walked out of same marriage, you still expect the ex-husband to spend his hard-earned cash in financing her lifestyle? No bloody way.

I'm sure most ,if not all fathers, will do whatever it takes to make their kids very comfortable and happy. But we draw the line when it includes catering for a lazy adult who intends to reep from were she did not sow. And I don't care if she has to live in a face-me-i-face-u or channel-O (hut). She won't get a dime from the wealth I toiled for. Simple.

dayokanu:

What is the sit at home housewife teaching the kids that is better than what they are taught at KG class

that can match the social skills they learn from mixing with other kids. They learn to share their space, make friends, atimes share their snacks, share a joke and make build confidence among their peers.

Pay her for doing the child a disservice and stunting the child's educational and social development?

What do kids do in kindergarten please? Watch TV and sleep. Please, i have seen this first hand. Some kindergartens even drug the kids sef, so they dont have to worry with their wahala. Mother-Child interaction is really what helps the child grow.

ocelot2006: So she was accustomed to a particular lifestyle when she was married. Now that she walked out of same marriage, you still expect the ex-husband to spend his hard-earned cash in financing her lifestyle? No bloody way.

I'm sure most ,if not all fathers, will do whatever it takes to make their kids very comfortable and happy. But we draw the line when it includes catering for a lazy adult who intends to reep from were she did not sow. And I don't care if she has to live in a face-me-i-face-u or channel-O (hut). She won't get a dime from the wealth I toiled for. Simple.

. Ok o.

baby_123:

What do kids do in kindergarten please? Watch TV and sleep. Please, i have seen this first hand. Some kindergartens even drug the kids sef, so they dont have to worry with their wahala. Mother-Child interaction is really what helps the child grow.

The child would be with other kids watching TV together talking together, mixing and making friends, sharing snacks,

I have noticed that kids who go to Kindergarten are much more independent than those who stay with mom and cry at every given instance

I would be back I get dentist appointment

baby_123:

In the Nigerian setting, it is difficult even for a woman not to talk of a man. You spend at least 2-3hrs in traffic alone. What time do you have? Kids are being raised by househelps. We are talking about Nigeria here. Except you sef are planning to be a stay at home daddy.

My parents both worked 5 mins away from the house. In Nigeria, its only Lagos and may PH that this 2-3hrs traffic affects. Then again won't the traffic affect the woman too?

yes to both

seedord247:

I dont follow you neither do i have something to learn from a obsolete being...

Give us the links of children being neglected by their fathers....

Thats u how end up being put to shame by davidlan when u went you out of point...

get your fact right before spitting your venom's out.... If you being used by Cheap road side hawkers, dont put the blame on 70 millions nigerians men.

. Don't be silly joor ,is that something u need to argue on , the lady is stating d truth and u are busy trying to run her down, its a very well known fact that our stupid Nigeria men abandon their kids and wives and go running after little girls ,it is u who should get your facts straight , I don't know why the truth is so hard for u men to comprehend ...! Always wanting the women to suffer for both ur stupidities,grow up and think straight.

child support in nigeria? it cannot work......
the law does not even even guarantee the woman to keep custody of the kid(s). the husband decides who keeps the kids. it can never work in a patriarchal society like nigeria.

It is the fact that these women know that they would leave with nothing that makes them fight for their marriage most times when otherwise they would have given up.
Introducing Divorce settlement and Child support in my opinion could have both advantages and disadvantages.
On the positive side, it could help those women who stay in an abusive marriage just for the sake of their children due to the fact that they have no means of survival or sustainance outside their husband's house to enable them take care of their children. Divorce settlement would give them a means of survival outside their husband's house.
On the negative side, it could make the women feel they have a free rein to leave whenever their husband's mess up without trying to make it work or give it a second chance. They just pack up and leave with their kids and the next thing the man gets is a divorce letter.

A-ZeD:

My parents both worked 5 mins away from the house. In Nigeria, its only Lagos and may PH that this 2-3hrs traffic affects. Then again won't the traffic affect the woman too?

Whose face did you see the most at home? I know my own mum sef had to give up some shifts for us and scale back on her work load, while my dad did the real hustle. Nigerian men also frown at all that mushy stuff. They say its a "woman's" work. By all means if you can provide as much care as the mother can, do so. But the kids will still have to spend time with their mum. i dont think they will think too much of you if their mum is living in squalor and you and new wifey or babe are living lavish. I wouldnt even want to see or live with such a father.

baby_123:

Kids dont stay in school till 4pm. In kindergarten i know they come out at 1. It is till they are in primary school, without after school activities. its like 2 or 3 sef. A woman who stays at home is not lazy in any way. If you were to pay her for all she did, i think you would have to quit. To get a good nanny sef in the US is very expensive. Dayo, you are going black and white again. Life is not black and white. Let us go back to the divorce settlement stuff, even if a woman works while you are married, she is entitled to something during the course of the union. That you both acquired. Especially jointly owned properties. And a divorce settlement is only to make her maintain at least a comfortable living especially if the children are to be in her care. It is the court that will decide it. We can be on this till day break. A woman's presence at home when kids are little cannot be explained away.

i like Uя healthy argument wif the other guy on this thread. Its quite commendable.
Personally, i agree with the child support issue but on the divorce settlement, i believe its only fair to share the funds 50/50 only if the success was achieved as a union. Example, am working and ma wife is working , ​We make investments as a family, its only fair to share after divorce. i don't want a housewife, i'll contribute in all d ways possible bt she aint staying@home. Whatever success i achieved on ma own before the unioun is ma own and will not be shared.

What do you have to say to this; In most marriages in this country, you see the hubby taking care of his in law's problem, funding her siblings' educational fees, taking care of her parents etc you can't expect such man to still settle her after divorce, that's not just fair.

baby_123:

Whose face did you see the most at home? I know my own mum sef had to give up some shifts for us and scale back on her work load, while my dad did the real hustle. Nigerian men also frown at all that mushy stuff. They say its a "woman's" work. By all means if you can provide as much care as the mother can, do so. But the kids will still have to spend time with their mum. i dont think they will think too much of you if their mum is living in squalor and you and new wifey or babe are living lavish. I wouldnt even want to see or live with such a father.

My mum worked 8-2 my dad worked shifts so i saw my mum more but then i vowed never to marry a teacher so my Son won't have to go through the pains of seeing his mum on holidays.

Insanity:

i like Uя healthy argument wif the other guy on this thread. Its quite commendable.
Personally, i agree with the child support issue but on the divorce settlement, i believe its only fair to share the funds 50/50 only if the success was achieved as a union. Example, am working and ma wife is working , ​We make investments as a family, its only fair to share after divorce. i don't want a housewife, i'll contribute in all d ways possible bt she aint staying@home. Whatever success i achieved on ma own before the unioun is ma own and will not be shared.

What do you have to say to this; In most marriages in this country, you see the hubby taking care of his in law's problem, funding her siblings' educational fees, taking care of her parents etc you can't expect such man to still settle her after divorce, that's not just fair.

I agree with you totally. And you share my view in that what was acquired in the union should be shared. Or at least the less priviledged of the two should be able to maintain a decent lifestyle. Even if it means parting with a house. Giving birth to kids is not easy, at least give her a roof over her head where your kids can come and spend time, and will not feel like their mum is being badly treated. Kids mostly empathize with their mum anyway. As for taking care of all your wives family, i truly dont know why anyone will get involved in such. I wouldnt put such a burden on my own spouse.

What do you mean i dont have healthy arguments? Your brothers really like to think they can insult like market women, only a dose of their own medicine.

Ileke-IdI:
yes to both

did you get my message?

sexyval: . Don't be silly joor ,is that something u need to argue on , the lady is stating d truth and u are busy trying to run her down, its a very well known fact that our stupid Nigeria men abandon their kids and wives and go running after little girls ,it is u who should get your facts straight , I don't know why the truth is so hard for u men to comprehend ...! Always wanting the women to suffer for both ur stupidities,grow up and think straight.

I just judged you from ya name...

what's the truth?

The truth that you are lazy and looking for big man to marry you and flourish you with money

The truth that you you hooked him up with an unwanted pregnancy?

The truth that you saw him bringing his d1ck inside ya pus$sy with no umbrella?

The truth that you are stupid enough to know he's married yet you still went ahead and do 69 with him?

The truth i started as a Bus Condutor and worked my aZz of for 25 years to build a comapany you and i did not suffer for

and you wanna reap it in a month??

AND FYI.. If child support should be Abolished in America... see if pregnancy rate wont reduce..