Larry: I'm truly humbled by you guys effort in creating this wonderful medium by which aspiring authors can express themselves literately... it's both honorable and patriotic. Thanks to you all from the bottom of my heart..

Jakemond.

Its hard uploading this days! What's wrong with nl sef?

Larry pls tell us wen you are done, I hate reading in between.

Hi Sigmund, saw sum1 with that ur name here on nl lol.

Hi ya'll

HumbledbYGrace: Its hard uploading this days! What's wrong with nl sef?

Larry pls tell us wen you are done, I hate reading in between.

Hi Sigmund, saw sum1 with that ur name here on nl lol.

Hi ya'll

hi

Well well well...
Chapter 7 by sigmunfreud was not disappointing a bit, that guy writes beautifully...never really seen other works of his, but he did justice to the plot...'the suspense king' where do you draw your dexterity from? Cos i need to tap in!

chapter 8... By our very own Ishilove, as expected, she more than dealt with the story, she was spectacular!...but almost killed Lucan anyway he was saved....one thing about this chapter is the indepth and apt imageries employed, offcourse you know Ishi, U're a writer i look up to

chapter 9......uniquexty, uhm, the narrative was good, albeit rushed, nothing intriguing happened & all that 'rib tale' bored me

Una over try...
The story sha long, wonder when I'd be tru But no qualms as far as it takes me on a jolly ride to the world of secrets, scandals and puzzle, am all in...
evidence of too much season movie the Nigeria police was portrayed as an organised system of dedicated & intelligent officers, make i hear

#still reading#

Like the story. Love the way everybody's ideas flow seamlessly. Umm... you guys might want to rethink adding critical characters at this point.I'm sure we (readers) would like to enjoy the story without forgetting half of the characters. I think (jst thinking) y'all should work with those you have now and cover up loopholes. Generally,it's a great story. Who said too many cooks spoil the broth? P.S- Mynd,a Japanese SAMURAI SWORD used by an SSS AGENT no less,really? And you should revisit your description of the compound,it wasn't really descriptive.

I sure hope nobody brings anoda wild fantasy of their's.. Like Lucan jumping from 3rd Mainland Bridge into the ocean and saved with a submarine or the use of SENSEI DOUBLE-END STAFF... Lets just be indigenious.. Koboko dey there, kondo olopa dey there, infact u fit add "Lucan dipped d Eba on his assailant's eye to leave him sightless" Lol
>
Larry, can I join now? {probably d 2nd 2 d last to post MYND niyen}

Rap maestro: I sure hope nobody brings anoda wild fantasy of their's.. Like Lucan jumping from 3rd Mainland Bridge into the ocean and saved with a submarine or the use of SENSEI DOUBLE-END STAFF... Lets just be indigenious.. Koboko dey there, kondo olopa dey there, infact u fit add "Lucan dipped d Eba on his assailant's eye to leave him sightless" Lol
>
Larry, can I join now? {probably d 2nd 2 d last to post MYND niyen}

@bolded...Lol! I like that sense of imagination.

You can join if you really wanna. As a matter of fact, I wan't you to join. I'm certain that you'll bring some homorous touch to the plot. But, I still have one post to update, still trying to tie some few loose ends. Forgive me if I seem to be taking days, typing isn't fun. And updating on Nairaland has not been smooth for me lately. I apologize. After that update, Bob's your uncle.

JAKEMOND1: Larry: I'm truly humbled by you guys effort in creating this wonderful medium by which aspiring authors can express themselves literately... it's both honorable and patriotic. Thanks to you all from the bottom of my heart..

Jakemond.

Thanks a lot, Jake. Nairaland is gifted with wonderful writers, you're one of them. If you don't mind, I'll like you to be a part of the collaboration.

Bless you.

HumbledbYGrace:
Larry pls tell us wen you are done, I hate reading in between.

Okay, ma'am. Bless you.

princesa: Well well well...
Chapter 7 by sigmunfreud was not disappointing a bit, that guy writes beautifully...never really seen other works of his, but he did justice to the plot...'the suspense king' where do you draw your dexterity from? Cos i need to tap in!

chapter 8... By our very own Ishilove, as expected, she more than dealt with the story, she was spectacular!...but almost killed Lucan anyway he was saved....one thing about this chapter is the indepth and apt imageries employed, offcourse you know Ishi, U're a writer i look up to

chapter 9......uniquexty, uhm, the narrative was good, albeit rushed, nothing intriguing happened & all that 'rib tale' bored me

Una over try...
The story sha long, wonder when I'd be tru But no qualms as far as it takes me on a jolly ride to the world of secrets, scandals and puzzle, am all in...
evidence of too much season movie the Nigeria police was portrayed as an organised system of dedicated & intelligent officers, make i hear

#still reading#

Thanks for following, your comments are encouraging. We're just trying our bestests.

JoBlè: Like the story. Love the way everybody's ideas flow seamlessly. Umm... you guys might want to rethink adding critical characters at this point.I'm sure we (readers) would like to enjoy the story without forgetting half of the characters. I think (jst thinking) y'all should work with those you have now and cover up loopholes. Generally,it's a great story. Who said too many cooks spoil the broth? P.S- Mynd,a Japanese SAMURAI SWORD used by an SSS AGENT no less,really? And you should revisit your description of the compound,it wasn't really descriptive.

Thanks, Jo. Corrections duly noted. We are trying not to make the story boring.

Bless you.

I just finished reading the first post by Larry and wanted to drop a few before I carried on.

Firstly, Larry I love your sense your humour in that post, I found myself laughing like a goat there.

Second, dude you need to balance the adjectives, amidst my confusion they made me laugh. Maybe I'm wrong but can you use 'bellow' and 'viciously' together? Instead of saying volcano wouldn't inferno had been a better reference? I know as humans we tend to exaggerate in moments of panic but volcano seemed reaching.

There were others but these are what I recall and I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I may be wrong. I'll go back now to continue reading. This is so exciting!

ijebabe: I just finished reading the first post by Larry and wanted to drop a few before I carried on.

Firstly, Larry I love your sense your humour in that post, I found myself laughing like a goat there.

Second, dude you need to balance the adjectives, amidst my confusion they made me laugh. Maybe I'm wrong but can you use 'bellow' and 'viciously' together? Instead of saying volcano wouldn't inferno had been a better reference? I know as humans we tend to exaggerate in moments of panic but volcano seemed reaching.

There were others but these are what I recall and I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I may be wrong. I'll go back now to continue reading. This is so exciting!

Thanks a lot for your comments, Ije. You're quite shrewd.

I think 'bellow' and 'viciously' can be used together. The former is a verb, while the latter is its modifier (showing the degree of the action). Or, rather,
viciously is a strong term. I should have used 'furiously'. Hell! I thought I used 'furiously'.

You're absolutely right about the use of 'volcano', I agree I stretched the exaggeration a bit thin. I basically used it to create humour though, from the POV of Lucan himself. I've never been in one, but I think I'd have the same thought if I found myself in that kind of blazing building.

Bless you.

"Come straight to the headquarters immediately. Chief Koko’s body was found dead in a hotel room. Come and tell me what your name and phone number was doing on a piece of paper found near the dead body.”

Lol! Typical Naija oga

Frank you are good. Its like you were in Larry's mind, you picked up so easily from where he left off. Besides some spelling mistakes I enjoyed that.

Larry-Sun:

Thanks a lot for your comments, Ije. You're quite shrewd.

I think 'bellow' and 'viciously' can be used together. The former is a verb, while the latter is its modifier (showing the degree of the action). Or, rather,
viciously is a strong term. I should have used 'furiously'. Hell! I thought I used 'furiously'.

You're absolutely right about the use of 'volcano', I agree I stretched the exaggeration a bit thin. I basically used it to create humour though, from the POV of Lucan himself. I've never been in one, but I think I'd have the same thought if I found myself in that kind of blazing building.

Bless you.

Shrewd, how?

Oh! and Larry,about your last update- I was willing to overlook Lucan's miraculous awakening,it's rare bt possible,right? Probably got carried by your vivid description of the same awakening(are those terms and descriptions real? If not,you did a better job than I thought) BUT don't you think his energy was a bit superhuman? I mean,the guy "nodded a flying bullet"!! I expected him to be very weak or at least disoriented but to my utter amazement he rendered an able-bodied guard unconscious and went on to steal a car which he SPED off in. ?¿?! Am I the only one missing something here? One more thing, am assuming Amina and Enoh are Nigerian,what is with the "long silky black hair" and "beautiful redhead"? Did someone mention Brazilian hair and red hair dye and I didn't notice? Pls someone should clear up this issue for me. It's hard for me to imagine a full-fledged Nigerian woman with silky hair. As for the red hair. . .*shudders*

JoBlè: Oh! and Larry,about your last update- I was willing to overlook Lucan's miraculous awakening,it's rare bt possible,right? Probably got carried by your vivid description of the same awakening(are those terms and descriptions real? If not,you did a better job than I thought) BUT don't you think his energy was a bit superhuman? I mean,the guy "nodded a flying bullet"!! I expected him to be very weak or at least disoriented but to my utter amazement he rendered an able-bodied guard unconscious and went on to steal a car which he SPED off in. ?¿?! Am I the only one missing something here? One more thing, am assuming Amina and Enoh are Nigerian,what is with the "long silky black hair" and "beautiful redhead"? Did someone mention Brazilian hair and red hair dye and I didn't notice? Pls someone should clear up this issue for me. It's hard for me to imagine a full-fledged Nigerian woman with silky hair. As for the red hair. . .*shudders*

*clears throat*

#finished reading#
*puts on a professor glass*
i must say the subsequent chapters made the plot nose dive... New and un-necessary characters were introduced and the tell tale sign of collaborative efforts by writers with different angle showed as each writer was struggling to piece the plot together...

The story became unnecessary lengthy and ending it earlier in chapters 10 or 11; wouldn't have been bad.

Myndd Where did you draw out the Shade character from? You introduced a totally new angle that might just be hard to link, personally, i don't think it was necessary...

And Larry, what's with the whole medical boring lengthy narrative about how the brain or something works It was totally a ploy to lengthen the story...... And i just got bored half way. But i guess it was due to unforeseen issues, right?

Well the puzzle was kind of solved with the introduction of the Victor character, he spear-headed the death of Chief Koko, bt the story went on

and now Jack, how can the mess be pieced?

the miraculous power of Lucan after awakening was also unrealistic

anyway am still following, other

princesa: #finished reading#
And Larry, what's with the whole medical boring lengthy narrative about how the brain or something works It was totally a ploy to lengthen the story...... And i just got bored half way. But i guess it was due to unforeseen issues, right?

and now Jack, how can the mess be pieced?

I don't really understand the 'unforeseen issue' you mean. Lol! The narrative isn't a ploy to lengthen the story a bit. I just had to explain how Lucan came out of his coma. It's rare but possible, one can survive a bullet to the head. Lucan is the protagonist, so sooner or later, he'd have to come back to the picture. It'd be donwright cheating if h'd just jumped into action suddenly. Ishilove caused it jor! She shot Lucan in the head, of all places.

About Jack, I'm hoping to give a plausible explanation.

Bless you.

Good Job, Larry!
Although, I have to ask, are you a medical personnel for you to come up with all those medical stuffs?


I think there might be some blunders in the medical stuffs, notable among them is where you said something about a needle in the muscle joining the 2nd and 3rd metacarpals. That's a blunder in medicine. First of all, ligaments join bones together, not muscles. Secondly, how a needle would fit in between the 2nd and 3rd metacarpals is somehow cos dt place doesn't look like a place that a vein would be noticed enough to place a needle (not rily sure how to explain that) but maybe you could check out pictures to understand what I'm saying. Also, the needle (for a drip) is not even supposed to be intra-muscular, it's supposed to be intravenous.

The cerebral hypoxia part: What exactly caused the hypoxia. Is it the blow to the head? Dt looks a bit confusing. I'm trying to understand it but I can't. It's like the whole thing is making the guy look like a super-man. The amazing part is how he suffered such brain damage, came out of coma, and went ahead IMMEDIATELY to be hurting people, driving and even engaging in mind-blowing sex not up to 24 hours after. The write-up, I must be sincere, is medically shady!

Couldn't really figure out others at a glance, although, some of them still stood out as 'possible errors'. My simple suggestion, if you;re not a medical personnel, maybe you'll need to get one to vet the writing for you. Also, don't you think the whole thing would bore some people? You people have already made Lucan to appear as a super-man, i don't think there's much you can do about that at this point since you can't kill him.

I liked the Sigmund Freud part, that guy is a good reference to use when you want to confuse people totally. He's controversial personified!

Above all, you did a good job, even though you threw Mynd's perspective away totally. Would be expecting the new twist.

Larry-Sun:

I don't really understand the 'unforeseen issue' you mean. Lol! The narrative isn't a ploy to lengthen the story a bit. I just had to explain how Lucan came out of his coma. It's rare but possible, one can survive a bullet to the head. Lucan is the protagonist, so sooner or later, he'd have to come back to the picture. It'd be donwright cheating if h'd just jumped into action suddenly. Ishilove caused it jor! She shot Lucan in the head, of all places.

About Jack, I'm hoping to give a plausible explanation.

Bless you.

Lwkmd!! The bullet didnt hit any vital spot. it just went through a clean path and exited behind the ear. it was short of a miracle. that was what i had in mind when i put a bullet thru his head.

Ishilove:
Lwkmd!! The bullet didnt hit any vital spot. it just went through a clean path and exited behind the ear. it was short of a miracle. that was what i had in mind when i put a bullet thru his head.

....ur explanation is comin a little 2late cos lucan's comeback can only be likened 2divine healing nw

@larry
the unforeseen issue was the fact that you had to write another
chapter in place of another collaborator......i could be right or wrong


and after Ishi shot Lucan in the head, it probably wasn't meant to be
severe, but.... the subsequent writers took it far and you had to
bring in divinity *deux ex machina*, i think its called something like that in literature* to save him. it was the only way out...... that's
what happens when different people write a story......

Its all Good. better bring a Plausible reason on how Jack became the new
villain

patiently waiting#


before unnecessary arguments erupts about which medical narrative was
right or wrong, just scrap the part......it definitely is boring. my
opinion offcourse

gabialonso: ....ur explanation is comin a little 2late cos lucan's comeback can only be likened 2divine healing nw

All join

Larry have you finished posting? I never read am yet Ooº°˚˚˚°º‎​oO .

LARRY...oniranu!!

Lucan just came out of a coma and he's already 'kponjaing'?? C'mon mehn, after nodding a bullet, his di*k probably don't work right( pardon my vulgarity).

I dey come make I finish the tori

Ishilove: LARRY...oniranu!!

Lucan just came out of a coma and he's already 'kponjaing'?? C'mon mehn, after nodding a bullet, his di*k probably don't work right( pardon my vulgarity).

I dey come make I finish the tori

....kponjaing..babe whr did u get dat word frm?

JoBlè: Oh! and Larry,about your last update- I was willing to overlook Lucan's miraculous awakening,it's rare bt possible,right? Probably got carried by your vivid description of the same awakening(are those terms and descriptions real? If not,you did a better job than I thought) BUT don't you think his energy was a bit superhuman? I mean,the guy "nodded a flying bullet"!! I expected him to be very weak or at least disoriented but to my utter amazement he rendered an able-bodied guard unconscious and went on to steal a car which he SPED off in. ?¿?! Am I the only one missing something here? One more thing, am assuming Amina and Enoh are Nigerian,what is with the "long silky black hair" and "beautiful redhead"? Did someone mention Brazilian hair and red hair dye and I didn't notice? Pls someone should clear up this issue for me. It's hard for me to imagine a full-fledged Nigerian woman with silky hair. As for the red hair. . .*shudders*

1. About Lucan coming out of his coma, I didn't make enough research.

2. He didn't exert too much force, he only hit the sleeping guard with the heel of his palm. The nose of the bone is a soft one, just like a plastic/biscuit Driving an automatic car, too, requires little or no muscles, just skill.

3. A Nigerian lady could have a long black hair (without attachment o), I know one or too. Especially a lady from the north. Northerners are gifted with long hairs. And, Amina hails from the North. Silky? Did I say silky? Did someone shoot me in the head too. The red hair was not written by Sun. Maybe Enor got her hair dyed or she rolled in the mud

alutacontinua: Good Job, Larry!
Although, I have to ask, are you a medical personnel for you to come up with all those medical stuffs?


I think there might be some blunders in the medical stuffs, notable among them is where you said something about a needle in the muscle joining the 2nd and 3rd metacarpals. That's a blunder in medicine. First of all, ligaments join bones together, not muscles. Secondly, how a needle would fit in between the 2nd and 3rd metacarpals is somehow cos dt place doesn't look like a place that a vein would be noticed enough to place a needle (not rily sure how to explain that) but maybe you could check out pictures to understand what I'm saying. Also, the needle (for a drip) is not even supposed to be intra-muscular, it's supposed to be intravenous.

The cerebral hypoxia part: What exactly caused the hypoxia. Is it the blow to the head? Dt looks a bit confusing. I'm trying to understand it but I can't. It's like the whole thing is making the guy look like a super-man. The amazing part is how he suffered such brain damage, came out of coma, and went ahead IMMEDIATELY to be hurting people, driving and even engaging in mind-blowing sex not up to 24 hours after. The write-up, I must be sincere, is medically shady!

Couldn't really figure out others at a glance, although, some of them still stood out as 'possible errors'. My simple suggestion, if you;re not a medical personnel, maybe you'll need to get one to vet the writing for you. Also, don't you think the whole thing would bore some people? You people have already made Lucan to appear as a super-man, i don't think there's much you can do about that at this point since you can't kill him.

I liked the Sigmund Freud part, that guy is a good reference to use when you want to confuse people totally. He's controversial personified!

Above all, you did a good job, even though you threw Mynd's perspective away totally. Would be expecting the new twist.

There was no time, ma'am. I blame Google's explanation

Larry-Sun:
There was no time, ma'am. I blame Google's explanation

Nice chapter i must say. Bt on most part of ur medical xplanation as said, wasn't quite right and 4 d hypoxia ;a short reference to a lung dysfunction should ve done d trick.

Atleast am enjoying the story bt cme again needle b/w 2nd nd 3rd metacarpals uh

gabialonso: ....kponjaing..babe whr did u get dat word frm?

well i think itz more lyk kpomo- or pomo-jaing...the act of chowing d pomo!! **applies Ben Johnson**

iykmora: well i think itz more lyk kpomo- or pomo-jaing...the act of chowing d pomo!! **applies Ben Johnson**

o.k