Why must a married man have a girl friend i.e a sinful partner outside his matrimony home?

It is not a tradition at all, its only that moral decadence is on the increase and human being seems to be insatiable to everything around him including having illicit sex with his various sex machines called girlfriends. The worst of it all is that the so called girls know that the man they are going out with is married and they still finds it had to quit. Remember without seller, there will be no buyer.

wat kind of stupid tradition would that be?

it is just out of greediness and the fact that they are neva satisfied with what they have.

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This is a questioned I have racked my head about and tried to find an answer to and still havent found one.My only explanation for it is pure lust and the fact that the culture permits men to be such a polygamous lot. Unfortunately, we women dont help matters because when we catch our husbands or boyfriends with other women, instead of facing teh man we face the woman instead! So i feel we women need to put our foot down harder so these guys woudl stop taking us for a ride. We have needs and get tempted too u know!! Okay o, no offence meant to all guys , there r soem good ones out there[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#006600][img][/img]

No, not a tradition. . . na stupidity!

danity:

It is a tradition that morally-challenged men have come up with.
A married man with a girlfriend has many issues with self-discipline, self-control and wisdom.

You deserve a hug and a kiss for this post.

danity:

It is a tradition that morally-challenged men have come up with.
A married man with a girlfriend has many issues with self-discipline, self-control and wisdom.

Nice one

This is what i call ABOMINATION.

danity:

It is a tradition that morally-challenged men have come up with.
A married man with a girlfriend has many issues with self-discipline, self-control and wisdom.

100% in agreement with you!!!!!!!!!

One of the main reasons has to do with economic factor. A situation where most families find it very hard to eke out a living not to talk of extras and they have daughters that aspire to further their education. Such daughters will easily fall prey to men who are readily available with cash to help them in school. I have come accross countless undergraduate girls who say that they are training themselves in school. Who actually do the training but married men. You also see young girls come out from school with high hopes of getting jobs to help themself and family but after several years without jobs, they are bound to fall prey to men with cash. Before my very eyes a married man is paying the bills of a man, his wife and entire children because he is going out with one of the daughters, all because the couple is not economically bouyant to fend for their large family. The couples are not happy about this development but can do little about it, since any business they try hardly thrives.

On the side of the married men, I dont know why majority of men think it is their natural right to be "polygamous". They feel they cannot stay with one woman alone. So if men who are well to do can control themselves and help people where absolutely necessary without asking for sexual gratifications, it will go along way to curbing these malaise.

IS IT A TRADITION FOR SINGLE LADIES TO CHASE MARRIED MEN?

@ reality for us - Before my very eyes a married man is paying the bills of a man, his wife and entire children because he is going out with one of the daughters, all because the couple is not economically bouyant to fend for their large family.

Is this standard practice, for the husband to support the wife's family, as well as his own? Also, why would you have more than one child if you know you cant support them?

well u shouldn't be getting married if u plan to creep out from time to time. why put the emotional burden of marriage on ur self then??

@Slimedge,
WELCOME TO NLD.
What you are encouraging is nothing but PURE Adultery.
  It is a road that leads to Destruction.   PLS DESIST.

slimedge:

well ! well!! well!!!,the question is quite complicating.well i don't see anything wrong with that if a man goes out of his matrimonial home and creeps around with another cool shorty.Remember,repeatition of one thing everytime everyday makes a man get tired, so don't blame it on man for trying to step out of line to taste another shorty's delicacy.

And u call ursef a man?

slimedge:

well ! well!! well!!!,the question is quite complicating.well i don't see anything wrong with that if a man goes out of his matrimonial home and creeps around with another cool shorty.Remember,repeatition of one thing everytime everyday makes a man get tired, so don't blame it on man for trying to step out of line to taste another shorty's delicacy.

and don't you think, you twerp, that the ladies get tired of one banana pounding them? don't you for once think we might need plantains? mennnnn!!! arrggghhhh

And u call ursef a man?

what does adultery have to do with being a man?? is rudy guiliani a man? is bill clinton a man?? the last people that should determine what a man is are women. a man could own up to his responsibilities but still lack in other areas.

and don't you think, you twerp, that the ladies get tired of one banana pounding them? don't you for once think we might need plantains? mennnnn!!! arrggghhhh

then spice up ur love life then. don't u think so

pure case of the spirit is willing (to commit adultery) and the flesh is weak!

bawomolo:

what does adultery have to do with being a man?? is rudy guiliani a man? is bill clinton a man?? the last people that should determine what a man is are women. a man could own up to his responsibilities but still lack in other areas.

those ain't men. A real man would not leave his matrimonial home in search of fun/sex elsewhere. A real man would not commint adultery. That is the difference.

hammers:

IS IT A TRADITION FOR SINGLE LADIES TO CHASE MARRIED MEN?

Correct man!!! NA ONLY YOU TALK TRUE!

No min all these hypocritical male-bashers for here. Always pointing fingers at men while ignoring the atrocities committed by women.

Its takes two to tango - willing seller, willing buyer!

nalijah07:

Also, why would you have more than one child if you know you can't support them?

Has it ever occured to you that in the real world [as opposed to cyberspace fantasies] people's economic prospects and circumstances can chnage for the worse unexpectedly? Loss of employment in middle age, perennial business failures, physical/health disabilities are all things than can occur AFTER a couple has finished child-bearing. The couple may have 3 kids early in their marriage while both hubby and wife are gainfully employed; but the wife may subsequently develop diabetes and hypertension thus disabling her from serious work while the hubby loses his job and his business ventures fail. The world is not a nice place. Bad things do happen atimes to good people

reality4us:

One of the main reasons has to do with economic factor. A situation where most families find it very hard to eke out a living not to talk of extras and they have daughters that aspire to further their education. Such daughters will easily fall prey to men who are readily available with cash to help them in school. I have come accross countless undergraduate girls who say that they are training themselves in school. Who actually do the training but married men.

Looks like a healthy symbiotic relationship if you ask me. The word prey may have been misplaced.

@nalijah07,

Who said that it is a standard practise for a married man to take care of his wife and the family of the girlfriend. If a man feels he has more than enough to fend for his family and a girl friend's family that is his own headache. I have seen men who prefer to spend more on a babe outside than their own family. I have also seen girls who use means (juju) to tie men to their whims and caprises.

Most illiterate couples believe that the more children they have the better, afterall children come from God. They may not have the intention to train their children (girls) up to university level but the girls may grow up and then have the intention to further their education as to better their future. A couple could have the number of children they can fend for but economic downturn can disorganize the whole plans.

its not a tradition but its a way of decongesting the ports and reaching out to help the needy

Because most men find it quite comforting to have a "virgin born again" wife in the house and a "tantalizing tart" for his "not so born again" fantasies.  Let just call it having the best of both worlds or the "Spitzer Syndrome"!

Until they are caught. . . .they can only pretend!

those ain't men. A real man would not leave his matrimonial home in search of fun/sex elsewhere. A real man would not commint adultery. That is the difference.

puhlease, people make mistakes. being a man is admitting ur flaws(which could be adultery). by your criteria, many adult males wouldn't be considered men at all. it's seems u women are looking for perfection which u would never find.

Being faithful to your spouse is not perfection; it is a basic discipline that marriage requires.

Seun:

Being faithful to your spouse is not perfection; it is a basic discipline that marriage requires.

Thank you sir. 'nough said.

In the entire time that humans have existed on this planet, no time has monogamy been more recommended than the period we are in. The fact is that, monogamy is a relatively new concept, and men are trying to grapple with it. As far back as recorded history would permit, in every known civilization, polygamy, especially one man married/attached to many women, has been a common phenomenon. In Africa polygamy has been practiced from the times of the Pharaohs of Egypt and even earlier! Is.lam's early influence on the Motherland did not do much to change the age-old practice. However, Christianity and colonialism was what introduced Africans to "enforced monogamy" (in pre-Christian Africa, monogamy could be practiced as a choice). This artificial and alien concept, has steadily penetrated most African communities and what was once a choice is now virtually enforced.

Focusing on Nigeria, we have accepted monogamy within a system not designed for its success. For example:
1. the precolonial practice of men marrying women much younger than them is still practiced and very common today
2. the societal expectations in Nigeria that the man be the breadwinner and so financially stable before marriage is also still intact

The result is that at any given instant, the number of eligible (as per marriage) women exceeds the number of eligible men. The pyramidal structure of population distribution (as age increase with height of pyramid) and the extra effort (translating to extra time) required for a man to attain the financial stability expected of society guarantees that in the set of those eligible for marriage, women will outnumber men. This skewed distribution is in perfect harmony with polygamy (one man many women), but not so with monogamy. So, the high number of single women create stressors on the monogamous marriages. The skewed wealth distribution (men earn way more than women in Nigeria and the societal expectation that the man be the breadwinner only sustains this fact) also gives the men more impunity and more resources to have another lover outside their homes.

_{Just my fifty kobo}

@ danity
this person has spoken well and said it all

@ slimedge
i know this person simply likes going the other way just for the fun of it. like fela calls them "opposite people". but if that is really your deep principled perception then you and all who hold such views are a sad pointer to what might befall our great country if your likes are in the majority.

as for me its simple, what is bad is bad. no excuse, no matter who does the chasing, girl chasing married man or vice versa.una wey dey talk say e good if na your sister wife or mother hope say una no go mind.stae this clearly and we will know yu really mean it. and i think some of these topics are no issues just say make we talk sha as there will always be takers.