I have recently got back into a relationship with my kids father, but he lives 8 hours away from me. there are times when i feel like he really cares about me and wants this as much as i do and then there are times i feel like he feels he has made a bad choice. my life without for 2 years was missrable and meaningless he gives me reason to smile. but i am so scared that he is going to hurt me again that i find myself questioning his motive or asking him over and over if hes happy. i dont want to push him away. what should i do to calm down

do what your heart tells you to do but make sure it's also what will make you happy

u are right rodalyn,do wat ur heart tells u,and at the end u will be as happy as ever.

Maybe y'all should move (live) closer together. It sounds like there are alot of unresolved issues, perhaps trust related. Be explicit. Instead of saying "are you happy" which is vague, redundant and construed as nagging by men ask "Is there anything special I can do for you?" I know it sounds sappy but I think men'll appreciate it. Or say "I'd like it if. . .". If you are just feeing insecure say "Sometimes I worry b/c I want to be with you but. . ." The trick to this type of statement is to talk about yourself & not him so he doesn't feel negative and overwhelmed. For example "but the relationship didn't work out last time and I had a hard time w/t he kids by myself". They way he responds will guide you. For instance if he says "What was hard (what was wrong)?" You can express more fears/concerns but if he says "Yes, you need me" then, er, yes, well, take it from there. . .say "I need HELP w/ YOUR children"

Now, this "children's father" biz. . .is it possible you want more from the relationship? A marriage? Or are you two divorced? Ask yourself & you'll know. Seek and ye shall find. Also are Nigerian? Is he? This will change the construct of the conversation and relationship if the answer is "no".

For me, pilates, basic yoga moves, running (while listening to music) and listening/dancing to music helps ease & forget my anxieties. Best wishes.

:p :p

8 hours is a long way. Are you really sure you can handle the stress