.....I limped towards my papa's house, I saw him from where I was, bare chested, hairy chest, I look a lot like him except that I had a more built muscle and biceps than him{gyming pays}, My dad was talking politics with male neighbours,"Lai lai na lie, A.P.C no go ever allow anybody use that acronym except them'', I heard him say. "Good afternoon sirs" I greeted them together,
"Welcome", they all chorused and continued their chat, they were too engrossed on their topic that they were not aware of my limping movement.. I walked in, trying hard to move without limping to the prying eyes of the female Amebos neighbour, but I was not succeeding, the plaster on my eyes and dimple not helping,
"What happened, A.Y?" an Ibo neighbour asked, if Amebo get position, this woman should have been graded A1, my thought, "Na one cow o, for one party, the cow eloped and hit anything by his way, I was on okada, the cow hit the Okada and dragged me for long distance before eventually dropping me in a canal" I told a B.I.G lie, kai, the lie just came o{Maestro chai, u cray},
"Eh! Yah! Sorry o, wetin you don use?", another woman asked, coming from her husband's room, God punish Amebo, I thought loudly,
"Igboh and lighter" I replied angrily and walked away ignoring their other question, I heard one of them say,"So this fine boy dey smoke Igbo? Wonders shall never end". I walked towards the door of my dad's room and parlour apartment wondering about the woman's statement 'FINE BOY'. On entering the room, I smelt eba and egusi, I saw two covered plate on the table, I sat on the three sitter couch and rested for some time before eventually getting to work. I removed my suit or coat{wareva jorh}, remaining my singlet and my trouser.
"Bless this food oh lord" I quietly prayed, washed my hand and was ready to pounce on the eba, the neatly done eba, when someone suddenly opened the door with rage and ran towards me, before I could say 'Foxy continue ya tory', two slaps landed on my plastered face. Too much beating for one day, God should punish me if I no open diary for today alone for Nairaland diary section, I thought, I looked up, my eyes was in daze, cos initially, I saw Arnorld Schwazenegar{na wao, help me spell am well jawe} then the image gradually changed to my dad's face, "Dad?"
"Stup1d boy, you left since morning only to come back now and want to pounce on my own food. Na where you go, you go chop" he said angrily, "by the way, what happened to your face?", I told him the same lie, even though he didn't fell for it, "that's good for you" he said..
.......I recalled the day's event, meeting Christie, the Peter, then Mr and Mrs Samson, I thought about the thing that led to my bruised and plastered face..
****************************************
....After getting down from the car, an oncoming bicycle ran towards me, I jumped to avoid been hitted by the bicycle, only to collide with a woman hawking eggs, the cycler rammed his bicycle to the opened car door, Mr Samson said his sorry, closed his door and ordered Pete to move, the left, leaving me to face the situation. While egg hawker was locking my cloth shouting, "You go pay me today! You go pay me today! Walahi I no go gree, even if my papa come from heaven, I no go gree{ghost come down? Na she go first pick race}" she said,
"Madam sorry, abeg, I no know nah" I had said, when I felt punches raining on my cheek..

Rap maestro: mistaswaq, na when u com turn yaself 2 story addict.. U beta start writin urs too o, no harm in trying

lolinq.. No tym na!.. Even if i qet tym, i qo use ham drop keystyle for FFR ni!
..jz do yah tin bro.. I dey feel u like d druq air i breath in!

only u, all dose beatinq! God qo save u o!

0k laaah

ya dad knwx ya a badt boi...ya can see he aint show any concern 'bouh ya black eye

mistaswag:

lolinq.. No tym na!.. Even if i qet tym, i qo use ham drop keystyle for FFR ni!
..jz do yah tin bro.. I dey feel u like d druq air i breath in!

me i trust u o, u go use rap say story..... Kudos bro

valboy20: ya dad knwx ya a badt boi...ya can see he aint show any concern 'bouh ya black eye

na so, badt boy tinz na

...."Bros, abeg leave him, make him pay me my money before you start to dey beat him", that was what I was hearing amidst the heavy punches from the cycler, my eyelid had swollen so much that I thought it would soon burst. From the little space left among the heavy eyelid to see, I saw my attacker, he was heavily built, he didn't say anything, he just kept kicking and punching. I must have fainted, cos the next thing I knew was that, I was been attended to by an old woman, who pitied me and came to beg on my behalf, she was the one that bought plaster for me, mopped my swollen eyes with cloth dipped in hot water. After regaining my strenght, I thanked the woman for her assistance and left, I felt light-bodied, what is it o? I thought.
...."Chai! Stup1d people", I cursed out loud, when I dipped my hand in my pocket, only to know that my #1000 thousand naira note from Mr Samson was gone, who could have taken it, if not that egg-hawker, because after regaining consciousness, I didn't see her again. They were kind to have left me my wallet... I limped home as a result of the kick from that huge cycler. That occurrence, made me determine to learn Taekwando/Karate, atleast to protect myself... ~Not knowing I was lying to myself~
.....My thought raced back to my present state, no food tonight, "Kai, today na bad day for me o" I said quietly to myself. If no physical food, atleast I have another food that will satisfy my hunger.
....I watched my dad's sleeping form, the man did not re-marry{made me think, he still had something inside for mum, chai these agbalagba people self}, walking towards the socket, I passed over my younger brother, while he was sleepily trying to kill mosquito, he slapped me hard on my leg, my already limping leg. I gave his sleeping form a hard kick to his shoulder, he didn't even bulge, my brother was a heavy sleeper. I paused to look at the 'battery full' sign displaying on my phone, carefully, I removed the charger's 'pin mouth' from my phone and the charger from the socket. I pressed the keypad, scrolling through <MENU>>APPLICATION>>MEMORY CARD>>OPERA MINI 7.2>>, I entered the website, Facebook.com, checked my messages, wall post, notifications e.t.c, moved on to twitter, to mxit, to eskimi{these social sites dem plenty o}, then to the one I couldn't miss, not even for $1million America dollar{na wash}.. {You guessed right}, yes Nairaland.com, went in to check my threads, any comments there? Yes, from the likes of Mistaswag, Frank, Foxy Rebirth, Chicent, emperor, Francheezy, Valboy, Inosenduatall, all my oga at the top e.t.c{no vex if I 4get to mention you.. Una too much, muah}. Then went to Rap battle thread{I hail Mynd_44 o}, obviously, to drop a few ddope Ish, then later went back to my 'Love in my favour' to type ~GOOD NIGHT TO Y'ALL, 2MAO ON MY MIND~

what happens to 'standing up for my community' since you are always here

princesa: what happens to 'standing up for my community' since you are always here

coming up now babe

hope d story did not end there....O hope d story did not end there....O

Oliver like me: hope d story did not end there....O hope d story did not end there....O

lai lai, tory remain

Rap maestro: lai lai, tory remain

better!

mistaswag:

better!

lemme quickly freestyle b4 i com type

mistaswag:

better!

lemme quickly freestyle b4 i com type

************************************************************
THE NEXT DAY
...."Eh! Mòógbè o, I don die today, I promise not to do it again" I pleaded sleepily as I felt a light kick to my thigh, I slowly opened my eyes, silently praying not to see the heavily built cycler towering over me, I eventually opened my eyes, looked blankly till my eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness, towering over me was my dad,
"Sleepy head, wake up jorh, come and lock the door from behind, while I leave for work and your brother to his school", he ordered, I muttered something under my breath only my Chi could understand, sleep definitely still at work, I turned to see my brother tying his shoe-lace.
"Ok, dad go, i'll close it", I replied, he left with my younger brother, I brought my hand to the table beside me, took out the torch-light, I flashed the beam at the ceramic clock, I wondered how old the clock was, I was told I wasn't born when it was bought, the time says 7:02 A.M, I decided to continue my sleep, I couldn't sleep earlier, due to pains from my injured body parts, I eventually slept from the lullaby blazing from my headphone, obviously, only Beat99.9 F.M could play a melodious, sweet song to me. I slapped the door-hook to its lock and slept some more... ZzzzZz
....."AMA BACHELOR MAKING MY DOUGH" my phone rang, I had changed my ringtone the previous night. I was woken by the loud noise emanating from the Nokia phone, making me wonder wether 'Chinko' phone can compete in anyway with nokia, the noise from the phone added with the noise from the next-door-neighbour's recently repaired generator by quacks makes it a pain in the as$, I thought of bbanging the phone at the nearest hard object, but wait o, what if it was my dad, I brough the phone's screen closer to my heavy eye-lid{sign of the beat of life; SAMBA}, "oh! Na you" I said as I pressed the almost faded green key on my phone, "Hello, guy", I spoke into the receiver,
"where you dey na?" the caller asked,
"at home, wetin happen?" I asked foolishly, knowing fully well what the caller wanted,
"shey you no go come today?" the caller asked again....
"Ehm! Ehm! Ehm! Guy, I'm not coming now jawe, maybe in the afternoon" I replied as I walked over to my hunged mirror.....

*BEAT 0F LIFE*

hey...u dnt wana go learn kung fu n tai chi again??

valboy20: hey...u dnt wana go learn kung fu n tai chi again??

see me see wahala o, dis guy dey guess my life, shey make i giv u clue? Check my 1st update on this thread...

Emperortj93: (Beat of life: Samba) hahahahahahaha, dis part gat me roflmao. Mehn u're damn funny plus creatives. Btw, keep dem cuminn asap.... |Gud mornin y'all|

gud morning bro

....."Why na? We don dey expect you na, our champion" Sunny flattered me, Sunday A.k.A sunny, was one of my best pal in the street, not that I gained anything from him but vice-versa, he was to me, what I called 'PARASITE'. Always looking for me, he's always fond of betting on me whenever I was playing P.S 2, he was very confident of my winning, I was the best Playstation player{why won't I be? After Years of using my money for food, beaten till I eventually became a beater.. Call me 'panel beater', na you sabi}. I even overheard him one day telling one guy that,"A.Y, ha! Omo, if Jesus know how to play P.S 2, he go bow for A.Y o", we all laughed that day..
.....Now, he want me to come and 'butter his bread' with my 'magic finger',
"Wetin be your own na? I talk say I go come by afternoon na..Mtcheew", I didn't even let him reply, I immediately cut him off the line. I thought about my life, my useless life. When my mates are in 'uni', I'm still at home, tears filled my eyes, I quickly cut it short by using the back of my hand to wipe it off before it roll down my swollen and plastered cheek. "Did I offend W.A.E.C? to must have been given F9 in chemistry, all my two G.C.E was always cancelled due to exam malpratice of many student of which I was not involved", I pitied myself, I was determined to take the forthcoming one and try my possible best, with God's help, I was going to obtain admission this year.
....My thought was interrupted by a loud wailing, then continuous shouting. I strained my ear to listen to what was going on but to no avail, I couldn't 'pin point' what was going on, I edged closer to my door, unbolted/unlocked the locked hinge, push the door forward, I was met by a very surprising view....
..."PWWA", i was quick to dodge the oncoming bucket by a thin breath, "Chai, God save my head o, who be that wey won break my skull?" I asked angrily and walked up to the backyard where it was obvious the thrown object came from.
"Iya e ma ku leni, I go kill you {your mother go die today}"
"Anu ofia, your papa, I no go gree, me and you today ah! Someone must die",
I saw two neighbours of mine struggling, engaging in a brawl {Clash of the TITans, Lolz}, Yes! You guessed right, the two 'AMEBOS' that asked what happened to my limping leg the previous day, the state I met them was very very funny, yet it was serious

Na waitin dem do u, dem one see now. Abi no be so

maestro...wahxup na, x lyk u loxin form....ya update x bcumn shorter than normal.

I swear to baba, twice, i don upload d next... But it doesn't seem to go

When i get home from work, i promise 2 update

Rap maestro: When i get home from work, i promise 2 update

owkay we dey wait u!

mistaswag:

owkay we dey wait u!

sowi jawe, slept off

.....On stepping outside to the backyard, the rising morning sun beamed its rays to the earth like that would be the last day, I squinted my eyes to the sight that beheld my eyes.
"Iya Chinyere, shebi I don tell you say I no be your mate.. I go teach you lesson", I looked again to confirm what lay at my front, two long padi, colleague in AMEBO business were fighting. Chai! Wonders, they say shall never end, Iya Chinyere was down on the ground while the much older Iya Gabu, who was also much heavier was on her, tearing and clawing at the same time punching, you need to be there, it was like two vicious beast fighting for food. Quickly, my mind darted from the fight to the two fighter's body, They were half n.aked, n.aked from the waist up{atleast, Iya Gabu who was visible to me was}, I took a look at the ground where they were using as wrestling ring, it was filled with pieces of cotton materials, My eyes ventured back to the two women, their bbreast was jingling up and down amidst the commotion, Iya Chinyere's bbreast, at her early 30's was plump, huge and intact while Iya Gabu was down, infact, no comment on that. That jingling part of the two women's bbreast must have caught the attention of pen*s, for I now had a semi hard-on, my winkie wanted to have a peek.. Chai, I must do something na to this people, make dem no kill themself, I thought. I thought of calling Egbon T-boy, who from his recently switched-on 'Gen' just arrived from his night-shifting job, he would be relaxing now and wouldn't even answer me,
"No lemme leave him out of this jorh", I looked again at the two women, Iya Chinyere was obviously no match for Iya Gabu.
....UP DOWN UP DOWN LEFT RIGHT, my eyes was following the directional movement of their bbreast, most especially Iya Chinyere's bbreast. I have to feel those two succulent bbreast of Iya Chinyere, those thing wey she dey cover, come dey do Iyanga, I thought. My semi hard-on led me towards, it was not so hard for them to have noticed, I tried to move Iya Gabu off Iya Chinyere, but it was like mission impossible.. Iya Gabu eventually paved way after beating her opponent to her satisfaction, After getting off her, I now noticed Iya Chinyere was totally n.aked, her pu**y smiling at me, by now, my 'p' was at its full hardness, raging hard-on. Due to the fight and anger, they both didn't notice,
"Ehen, so you no fit fight ehn?" Iya Gabu said, her hands akimbo,
"f00l, ode o$i, agbaaya, anu ofia" Iya Chinyere replied, cursing while sobbing,
"Ehen, me f00l, A.Y you hear her, I go teach you again", Iya Gabu said charging forward, I came between them and begged Iya Gabu to leave Iya Chinyere. She eventually succumbed and left to her room, probably preparing to go to her shop, for it was obvious that Iya Chinyere was no match for her, I watched Iya Gabu close her door behind her. Time to act, wicked grin forming on my lips, my pen*s must surely not be teased na, I thought,
"Oya sorry, Iya Chinyere, let's go to your room, leave her" I begged, we walked towards her room that was at the extreme end at the front of the house,
"Iya Gabu, don waylay for you there o, don't lets go there", I lied after getting to the front of my room, my papa's room, Knowing fully well that Iya Gabu had entered her room.
"Let her waylay me, lemme go and fight her", she retorted angrily, and violently edged her way towards the front door, she picked up the bucket that I ducked the other time, she wanted to use that as a weapon.
"No, don't go, enter here till she leave there", I countered, she struggled and struggled but she was no match for my hold, not with that her light body. She eventually accepted,
"No be say I fear her o, A.Y, na because of you o", she said, lying at the best lier, Lol.
"oya, sorry jawe, enter make you come tie wrapper cover yourself", I said. She edged her way in my room, dropping the bucket at the doorstep, I followed behind letting my raging hard-on lead the way, after getting in, I locked the door behind me and slapped the hook to its lock. TIME FOR SHOW

9c writeup...oya cum n gist ux aw d show take apun

valboy20: 9c writeup...oya cum n gist ux aw d show take apun

censored.. PARENTAL GUIDANCE[P.G] AND NOT FOR PERSON UNDER 18