EagleEyes259: Hello Nairalanders,

Please I need your sincere advice on this;

I have been in friendship with this girl for about three months and our friendship has been going well until a couple of days back! We have been communicating very well before now and her sisters and most of her friends know about our friendship and many of them believe we are dating. She always rings me whenever I am not available to chat at the usual time.

I was planning to ask her out before she goes for service next week but was waiting to see what state she will be posted to before doing that. She was in town to pick up her letter and all has been going well until Wednesday morning when she told me she would want us to stop using slang like *I miss you* etc for the next five months or so and we would need to put our dating on hold till then.

She said she wants to find out if the feelings she has for me is genuine! Ever since then she has been very brief and takes longer time to respond to my chat, sometimes it take a couple of hours for her to respond. When I made my observations known to her she blamed it on network which is not true because we have same service provider and we were in close proximity.

She has been posted to one of the northern states. Please what do you guys advise? Should I continue playing along or should I stop communicating with her or should I call it quit with her or should I just focus on my career? Lines are falling in place for me and I am afraid if I delay in hooking up now, the probability of coming across a golddigger will be much higher!

Thanks for your advice!

Mrs.Chima:


Candidly speaking...she is not that into you. Sorry buddy. Move on.

Okiki_Oluwa: Move on bro. Even if she say yes now, I doubt if she ll be able to go ontouched in NYSC Camp & after Camp parols which is the real NYSC koko. There, she ll mix with diff guys. Only few girls come back 4rm NYSC without tasting a relationship.

EagleEyes259: d l
@Mrs Chima, thanks for your candid advice! In moving on, do I just stop communicating with her or have a discussion with her to call it quit. Thanks!

EagleEyes259: Hello Nairalanders,

Please I need your sincere advice on this;

I have been in friendship with this girl for about three months and our friendship has been going well until a couple of days back! We have been communicating very well before now and her sisters and most of her friends know about our friendship and many of them believe we are dating. She always rings me whenever I am not available to chat at the usual time.

I was planning to ask her out before she goes for service next week but was waiting to see what state she will be posted to before doing that. She was in town to pick up her letter and all has been going well until Wednesday morning when she told me she would want us to stop using slang like *I miss you* etc for the next five months or so and we would need to put our dating on hold till then.
Don`t put urself in a psychological mental slavery,,on the other hands too,putting her in bondage of so called i will marry u in future which might not come through,,,,let her explore future my dear friend,,,from my own side of view,u sound like a chewing gum boy and a cry baby ,you are educated,stop sounding like a 16year old looking for first love and be a man,rap it up guy

She said she wants to find out if the feelings she has for me is genuine! Ever since then she has been very brief and takes longer time to respond to my chat, sometimes it take a couple of hours for her to respond. When I made my observations known to her she blamed it on network which is not true because we have same service provider and we were in close proximity.

She has been posted to one of the northern states. Please what do you guys advise? Should I continue playing along or should I stop communicating with her or should I call it quit with her or should I just focus on my career? Lines are falling in place for me and I am afraid if I delay in hooking up now, the probability of coming across a golddigger will be much higher!

Thanks for your advice!

Mrs.Chima:


Leave it alone and she will get the picture. If she contact you later on in life...drop her like a hot potato. She is using you as a rebound. You can do better.

Good luck!

EagleEyes259:
@Mrs Chima, thanks for your candid advice! In moving on, do I just stop communicating with her or have a discussion with her to call it quit. Thanks!

EagleEyes259: Hello Nairalanders,

Please I need your sincere advice on this;

I have been in friendship with this girl for about three months and our friendship has been going well until a couple of days back! We have been communicating very well before now and her sisters and most of her friends know about our friendship and many of them believe we are dating. She always rings me whenever I am not available to chat at the usual time.

I was planning to ask her out before she goes for service next week but was waiting to see what state she will be posted to before doing that. She was in town to pick up her letter and all has been going well until Wednesday morning when she told me she would want us to stop using slang like *I miss you* etc for the next five months or so and we would need to put our dating on hold till then.


She said she wants to find out if the feelings she has for me is genuine! Ever since then she has been very brief and takes longer time to respond to my chat, sometimes it take a couple of hours for her to respond. When I made my observations known to her she blamed it on network which is not true because we have same service provider and we were in close proximity.

She has been posted to one of the northern states. Please what do you guys advise? Should I continue playing along or should I stop communicating with her or should I call it quit with her or should I just focus on my career? Lines are falling in place for me and I am afraid if I delay in hooking up now, the probability of coming across a golddigger will be much higher!

Thanks for your advice!

lecturerdabo:

Friend, I strongly believe in communication which does not in any way suggest you can't do without her. I suggest you talk things over with her.

She may be thinking of the parols during service

She may also be testing you to know how serious you are and remember, that you go on a date(dates) with a girl does not mean you are in a relationship.

There is no harm in talking things over with her and from her words you know where you stand (Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks - The Bible)

Mynd_44: Bro,as hard as this is, you have to move on and treat her like an ex.....it is pointless hanging on to her as she is not even sure she feels anything for you.

If she calls you back and you still feel like that, fine but I will also advice you try to date other girls during this period

sexkillz: It's not as if you are assured of a serious relationship for the next 5 months. You haven't asked her out, so she is under no obligation to you. She must have been hurt severally by guys in the past, maybe she realized that her emotions betray her too soon or something and she is trying to get a grip on her self.

Consider this a test. There is always two sides to a story, and a wise person always thinks outside the box. Put yourself in her position and try seeing the world the way she sees it.

Refrain from using the phrases she asked you not to, but never ever neglect saying "hi". At this point, calls will suffice. It's just for 5 months and unless you never truly had any feelings at all for her will you just let her go. . .

No two situations are the same.

sexkillz: It's not as if you are assured of a serious relationship for the next 5 months. You haven't asked her out, so she is under no obligation to you. She must have been hurt severally by guys in the past, maybe she realized that her emotions betray her too soon or something and she is trying to get a grip on her self.

Consider this a test. There is always two sides to a story, and a wise person always thinks outside the box. Put yourself in her position and try seeing the world the way she sees it.

Refrain from using the phrases she asked you not to, but never ever neglect saying "hi". At this point, calls will suffice. It's just for 5 months and unless you never truly had any feelings at all for her will you just let her go. . .

No two situations are the same.

Mrs.Chima:


Candidly speaking...she is not that into you. Sorry buddy. Move on.

lrguru:

this is the first most sensible comment u have so far made on nairaland. 1-up for u

EagleEyes259: My thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread. I am indeed grateful!

Black Peni5: @OP...I'm gonna lay it down in black and white. Ur girl hopes to find true love during service year, but she doesn't want to lose out totally. She wants to keep you as a "back up" in case she doesn't find what she seeks within 5 months.

Are u ready to be a back up guy? If yes hang on, if no, move on...

boxer022: @OP I have to be candid with you. If a girl says that she is not sure of what she feels for you or even telling you to keep your date with her in the cooler for 5 months, she is aspiring to get hooked either during her camp or at her PPA. I advice that you do what she said you should do in terms of using pet names and romantic gestures with her. Move on with your life and forget about her unless you want to be her back up guy as other people have told you. So be wise and use your head.

obowunmi: I hate to say it but you may need to move on. Goodluck

obowunmi: It's obvious that you really like her, care for her, and want to take the relationship to the next level. But if you are both not on the same page - then you might need to take a different direction. (Two options)

1. Wait for her

2. Move on

I'd say move on, you are both young, if it's meant to be, I believe that you will find yourselves to back to each other. I'm sure if she finds someone else out there at NYSC, she'll gladly move on. You want her to know that you like her, and if she doesn't feel the same way...pls move on.