Foxy_Vista:

No be me oooo... I go check my other monikers, maybe the person ask for permission before adopting my name. This na nonsense. Why person go wan bastardize my name na.... Mtchw..

Foxycarol, better come and explain yourself... There is only one Foxy on Nairaland with multiple handles and just one person operating it. Thatz me.... I know you not...

abi o... The only real, Original Foxy na u na.. Any other one na phake

Mehn dis story no b rice nd beans...

Flow 1759, (My fellow Physicist) Physics is not a wrong choice of course. It prepares you for everyother aspect of life. Like one of my lecturers would say "Physics makes you rugged"
Flow on. I love your story and storyline.

Foxy_Vista:

No be me oooo... I go check my other monikers, maybe the person ask for permission before adopting my name. This na nonsense. Why person go wan bastardize my name na.... Mtchw..

Foxycarol, better come and explain yourself... There is only one Foxy on Nairaland with multiple handles and just one person operating it. Thatz me.... I know you not...

very soon u will start seeing foxyxmas & foxynewyear.

hv bn a silent follower. flow u re gud and all dis ur slangs reminds me of the good old days in the barracks. keep up the good work

rapins: Flow 1759, (My fellow Physicist) Physics is not a wrong choice of course. It prepares you for everyother aspect of life. Like one of my lecturers would say "Physics makes you rugged"
Flow on. I love your story and storyline.

My fellow Quantized entity. Physics Rugged for me oh, no be small.

OMG! My heart juss cut O! Love this story! Flow, Flow, Flow

Madawaki01: money ni,oponu...
Even ishi knws wat am talkin about,it's only myopic pple like u dat cnt percieve it

look at dis silly, stu.pid, ackward, m.a.d, clumsy, cra.zy, Fooolish, in.sane, unmannerly, dafte uncouth human being calling someone oponu when it's obvious he is d bigger oponu alway typing nothing meaningful.

gendebs:

silly, stu.pid, ackward, m.a.d, clumsy, cra.zy, Fooolish, in.sane, unmannerly, dafte uncouth human being

are all these for one person?

Jst dy flow dy go, laffin alday

.

Flow, hope say nuffin dey worry yu?! Yu no go com update? Since mornin fah! In short, henceforth yu must to dey update 4 tyms per day. Na joke o Oga flow, make una no com welle me o. Flow on.

"Mama Ejima i dey greet oh" I greeted Mama Ejima the next morning.

Her response to my greeting was an eyeball. She eyeballed and hissed.

"if you like make you no answer me as i dey greet you, wetin i know be say you go pay us the money" I almost said.

"but wait oh, this woman fit poison me and Man oh" I said to myself.


On our way to work, i stopped over at Florence's boutique to collect the money she had sold, and i told her i wanted to go get more Jewelleries at Kpatalico Jewellery marketing company, a company located at Number 1 Kponkpon street, Nekede Owerri.



Mama Calabar canteen was open that morning. "Mama Calabar why you no open yesterday na?" I asked. "my pekin no well, i carry her go hospital, but i open in the evening" She informed.

"give us our usual" Man ordered. Our usual was Rice and Beans, with two Kpormor. Point of correction, the Rice and Beans wasn't Cement and Gravel, also the Kpormor wasn't that thing found in between a Lady's legs.

As i ate the delicious Rice and Beans, in my mind i was saying; "nothing like Mama's food". Not my Biological Mother, but Mama Calabar.

Romour had it that Mama Calabar always used the water she made use of in washing her Kpormor to prepare her meals, i guess you know the Kpormor i mean here? If you no know, na you sabi.

If the rumour was anything to go by, then it was certain Man, Flow and Brainbox would change their States of Origin to become Cross Riverians soonest. Because they were long lost in Mama Calabar's food charm.

Sometimes, i usually eat Mama Calabar's food all the way to my dreams.

You wouldn't blame me, would you? When her food was not only Mouth watering, it was also Nose watering, and even Stomach watering.

They say; "you don't know what you have until it is gone". For just a day that Mama Calabar was gone, i really missed her food.


"Man my hand dey pain me oh, you sure say we go fit dig another pit today?" I complained on our way to the site. "guy no talk that r'ubbish oh, we must dig one pit oh" Man replied.

"take Tramadol, drink am make e give you power" Man offered me two capsules of Tramadol. I collected it and swallowed without thinking twice. I never knew the same Tramadol would almost rob me of my heart.


We got to the site to meet Igbakwambo and Ochagbuorie already digging. "guy na for here una sleep?" Brainbox teased.

"yes, we sleep here, we dey dig where we go bury you make you sef sleep, make you sleep go meet Baba God" Igbakwambo said.

"which kin play be that na? Na you go die" Brainbox responded.


"guy your trouser don tear for n.yash oh" I told Igbakwambo.

"leave am like that, i dey collect breeze from there" He answered.

Maybe he thought the hole was small that was why he answered me that way. He never knew the hole was Map of the world, revealing practically his whole a''ss.


"guys make we start work, them Ochagbuorie don go far" Man said.

"today work, na small small oh, see, the work wey i work yesterday don give me Koko for my head" I complained showing my guys the Koko.

The Koko grew over-night, and soon my head would look like that of Papa Ajasco.

"guy even if the Koko for your head grow big like tree, we must dig one pit today oh" Man said.

I must dig for sure, even if the Koko grew as tall as an Iroko tree. Afterall they say; "make money or die trying".

As we were changing to our Kponkpon suits, my phone rang, it was my Dad.

The first question he asked me was; "where are you?" i initially wanted to answer; "church" but i thought otherwise and answered; "school". School of Kponkpon i guess.

He also asked me if i needed some money, "No" ran ahead of "Yes" as my answer. The last time he sent me money was 6months ago. I needed his prayers more than his money. I was living a Jungle life of Independence.

We had started digging and Madam Ifeoma wasn't around.


We had dug about 2ft when she came with her Television a''ss and became a "bad belle" to our work.

Una want make i interpret "bad belle" sef?

Barnabas_Co: please update more.

I be w.izard? I no go sleep?

flow1759:

I be w.izard? I no go sleep?

Sometimes......hihihihihi!

u fit still dey update dey sleep at the same time na........but just be careful so we dont hear u snoring.......
anyhow sha u get mouth DIE

pillzthadrugz: u fit still dey update dey sleep at the same time na........but just be careful so we dont hear u snoring.......
anyhow sha u get mouth DIE

I updated this "under the influence of sleep". ;- ;- ;-

Flow oya! Come drop sharp sharp oh I dey gbadun una

kudos to u flow, this is masterpiece, after reading for more than five days, just have the chance to comment,keep it up and continue to keep it real as always

Nice one flow, keep it up bro.

"make sure you dig here, dig it wide up to this point" Madam Ifeoma begane.

It seemed she wanted us to really work hard for our 50k.

I saw Madam Ifeoma's eyes from time to time gazed at the Map of the World in Igbakwambo's a..ss. To make matters worse, Igbakwambo wore no underwear. Albeit he was fair in complexion, his a..ss was as dark as charcoal. He was the perfect description of "yellow body, black nyash".

As we continued digging, the Sun came from the skies to join us.

It was so hot that Madam Ifeoma was sweating all over her body. I saw wetness gathered in the T.oto area of the trouser she wore. As if she peed on herself.

Talking of T.oto, i remember when i was in primary Four and i saw; "T.oto is good" written boldly in the frontpage of my exercise book. When i showed it to my class teacher Miss Bola, she changed the "T.oto" to "Togo", so it became, "Togo is good". She even went further to explain that "Togo" was the name of a country, and that it was because Togo was the most beautiful country in the world that was why whoever wrote it did so.

The believe that Togo was the most beautiful country in the world stuck to my brain until i got to JSS2 when my friends were mentioning different countries like; USA, England, Brazil, France and Spain as the Countries they would love to go to. I told them i would love to go to Togo, and they laughed so hard at me. That fetched me the nickname "Togo" althrough the academic session of JSS2.

When the nickname "Togo" stopped was when i got to SS1 and got another nickname "Beans". That was because my friend found raw Beans in my school bag. I know by now you would be asking how the raw Beans got there.

Well, as funny as it sounds, i was reading my books one night and my Mum gave me beans to pick out the dirts, i mistakenly poured a handful of the beans into my school bag instead of the bowl beside me. I was immediately sent on an urgent errand by my Mum, and when i returned from the stressful errand, i had forgotten there was beans in my bag. The next day in school my friend saw the beans, and the nickname "Beans" spread like Staphylococus in the school, even my teachers called me Beans.

I changed Nicknames like i changed clothes, i just don't know why. From "Fish boy" to "Codo" to "Togo" to "Beans" to "Repo" to "Fanta" to "High tension" to "Flow"(this nickname never died) to "Ugo Flow" to "Ekun"(its Yoruba, and it means Tiger) to "The Governor", and still counting.

I got each of these nicknames in a funny way is an understatement, i got them in the funniest of ways, especially the nickname "High tension". Don't worry as the story continues you would get to know how i got the nickname "High tension" and other nicknames. But make sure you go buy a brand new set of ribs because it promises to be a rib cracker.

"make sure you measure the width, and depth accurately oh, i will be at Old Solja's room, this Sun is too much" Madam Ifeoma said and she left.

"instead of you to talk say you wan go make Old Solja wayah you, you dey talk say Sun too much" I almost said.


As i continued packing the sand, all of a sudden my heart started beating faster.

"wetin dey happen na?" I asked myself as i sat to rest. As i rested for about 2minutes, it stopped beating fast and was beating normally, making me feel drowsy.

"Flow come continue to dey pack dis sand oh, no resting oh" Man yelled.

"so make i get heart attack where i dey work abi" I said.

"Flow come na, Old Solja don bring wheelbarrow wey go make the work easy for you" Brainbox informed.

As i stood up and walked, i felt my heart beating even faster than before. Not only that, my whole body was vibrating.

"Man you sure say na Tramadol you give me make i drink?" I cried. "yes na, na Tramadol" Man replied.

"why my body dey shake na?" I inquired. "naso e dey do na, if you drink Tramadol before you start work, you no go rest, you go just continue to dey work, if you rest na sleep be that oh" Man informed.

Igbakwambo hurriedly took the wheelbarrow and raced towards their end, and i chase him. As i chased him, grasses held my right leg and i fell.

I heard so many laughs.

I also heard Man said, "Flow Old Solja don bring another Wheelbarrow, stand up".

"you dey mad oh, why you no tell me say Old Solja go bring another wheelbarrow, you com make me dey pursue dis Igbakwambo wey him nyash black like Monkey nyash" I said.

I hope my ribs and waist plus my bele no go break cos of dis story, nna flow, ndeawo...

Flow, u wnt kill me, am running out of ribs

Flow, which time this story go end?
Let is reach 100pages or more abeg. If you end it soon, i go fight you from here to heaven if possible.
STILL I FOLLOW.....

4kizo: Flow, u wnt kill me, am running out of ribs

Buy more ribs and keep as spare.

vision2050: Flow, which time this story go end?
Let is reach 100pages or more abeg. If you end it soon, i go fight you from here to heaven if possible.
STILL I FOLLOW.....

e fit pass 100pages oh, tori still full pot oh.

flow1759:

e fit pass 100pages oh, tori still full pot oh.

my mind at rest. Make i go buy spare ribs.....

flow1759: e fit pass 100pages oh, tori still full pot oh.

nwanne update na. Nyash don dey pain me where I sitdown dey wait u.

More updates please

Rap maestro: guy... U are vewi sick o.. Why quote all dat post na? Na wa o

guy na you dumb pass, so you no see anybody in this enclave to type nonsense to, na me you con dey typ rubbish to, you can due to ur dormant ecephanon quote me again, and let flow watch me nd u derailed his thread, may thunder fire dat ur thumb over there