Mr. Beans, dat Igbakwamgbo black yansh go sexy die. no homo oh

Flow u be real baddoo........even olamide sef dey learn work.....i beliv u

Bigflamie: Mr. Beans, dat Igbakwamgbo black yansh go sexy die. no homo oh

guY na wAoo, so if na yU be flow , you no go waste ur time wayoo the guY sexy yansh abi

Oga flow tramadol no dey for tablet o! na for capsule them dey package an(man gave u two capsule of tramadol).i want thank u as u put smile for our face for de past 3 month now na so papa God go put smile for ur face too.

omoadeleye: guY na wAoo, so if na yU be flow , you no go waste ur time wayoo the guY sexy yansh abi

he don talk say no Homo. Wear your glasses

Nice one Flow. Keep it up Bro. U dey inspire me no be small.

#in sarkodie's voice#

I'm back again.


flow i sight you

Ukavwe: Oga flow tramadol no dey for tablet o! na for capsule them dey package an(man gave u two capsule of tramadol).i want thank u as u put smile for our face for de past 3 month now na so papa God go put smile for ur face too.

na Mistake i make, i go correct am. Thanks anyway.

I v killed 5guys ystr9t nd took dia ribs!!, now i gt more extra ribs! Flow kip d bomb, am ready

I killed 5guyz ystr9t nd took dia ribs, so flow kip da bomb, i v package my ribs in d store.

Flow is doing an experiment now.so let's give him break to flow more for us.
Still we flow

Flow today na saturday na why u no update?

Oga flow, make we endorse this topic for FP na? Abi u no want mke d world read this storey? So let us knw hw u wnt am!!

Oga flow wia u dey na. 2day na sa2day o

flow u no try today at all

Flow flow na yur torri I gbadun (like) pass for this NL yu too much bros

After work.

I walked home like an I'mbecile. Infact, we all walked home like a combination of I'mbecility and Albinism.

I was so tired and weak.

I would go to work the next day for sure, only if Sokoto became the capital of France and New York the capital of Senegal.

"Madam Ifeoma say we no go work tomorrow wey be Friday, she say she want make them the welders weld the tank wey them go put inside the pit wey we don dig, say na welders go work Friday and Saturday" Man informed.


"make we enter Obele place go take Indomie and Egg with Custard na" Man suggested.

"for this kin hot Sun nahim we go take hot custard" Brainbox said.

"ehen, nahim good pass na, Obele go put enough milk for the Custard, so our blood wey don dry go come back" Man said.

Of a truth, my blood was dried up, all thanks to Tramadol a.k.a Tea.

"guy see your zip dey open oh, see ur p'rick dey show sef, why you no dey like to wear boxers sef" I told Man.

"my boxers dem don tear finish, i go buy new ones" Man said as he zipped up.

"why ur boxers no go tear, no be that your big p'rick dey tear am?" I almost told him.


"Obele give us Indomie and Egg with Custard, milk go plenty for the Custard oh" Man ordered.

As we sat in a round table of brotherhood, Man brought out the 50k and started counting it. He gave me my share, and gave Brainbox the rest. That meant he had reimbursed Brainbox the money he collected from him the previous day.

Obele saw Man giving Brainbox the money as he came to serve us the plates of Indomie, and he yelled, "Chineke mi eeeeee! See money eee!! My guys don hamma eeee!!" with his mouth ajar.

"Obele behave yourself oh, this money na my school fees oh" Brainbox said.

School fees indeed!! School fees for Kpokpon state University, Faculty of Madam Ifeoma, Department of pit digging.

"But incase una hamma, i wan sell my shop oh, if una go fit buy am, i wan sell everything wey dey inside the shop" Obele informed.

"why you wan sell am na?" I asked. "I wan travel go America" Obele replied smiling. His smile reminded me of the smile of "Paw paw" in the famous "Aki and Paw paw" movie.

"e get one America wey dey for this Imo state oh, dem dey call am Amalarica, shey na that one you wan travel go?" I said, and everybody in the canteen laughed.

"na una sabi, i don tell una finish, i wan travel go America" Obele said.

"where dem the egg na?" Man asked Obele.

"i dey come, i go bring them now" Obele replied.

"na six egg you go bring oh" said Man. "i know na, i know una usual na" Obele answered.

As we started eating our meal, i noticed that a Guy and a Lady sat behind me. I concluded they were on a date because i saw how the guy was whispering sweet words to the ears of the Lady who was laughing like the Fat f'oul she was. Wow! What a romantic place to go on a date, Obele's canteen, or better still Obele's eatery.

We were enjoying our delicious indomie "jejely" when i heard, "broaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" i knew a fart just came out of the Fat a''ss of the Fat f'oul that sat behind me, because that was where the sound came from.

"Flow you dey mad oh, we dey chop, you dey mess" Man accused me of what i never did.

"you dey mad sef, no be me mess, how i go disgrace myself for public" I replied.

We continued eating, oweing to the fact that the fart was a "Neat fart".

A neat fart is a fart without smell.

Obele brought the boiled eggs we ordered and decorated them on our plates.

A minute later, i heard, "broaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!" again. I initially thought my phone was Vibrating, because it was on Vibrate mode, and it was in the character of making a scary noise when vibrating.

I touched my pocket to confirm it wasn't my phone.

With so much fury, i stood up. My eyes gradually turned red courtsey of the stench of the fart.

My eyes always turns red when my anger reaches boiling point.

"e no go better for person wey mess, that person go continue to dey mess every 30seconds, that person body go dey smell mess forever and ever" I cursed.

"Amen!!" My friends chorused.

"Bros take am easy dey curse na" The fat f'oul spoke out. And i saw that her face was as deadly as her fart.

"make i take am easy? if na you mess, talk na, so i no go curse again" I said.

The stench was too much. Damn too much.

"abeg i no get appetite to chop again, Obele take your money" Man paid Obele.

As we were about leaving, Brainbox hurriedly took the six boiled eggs from our plates and said, "the mess no reach the egg na"

Still u flow (or so I tot)! Ω̴̩̩̩̥α u oº°˚˚°ºoº°˚˚°º

Flow, yu tu much.

Wizee: Oga flow, make we endorse this topic for FP na? Abi u no want mke d world read this storey? So let us knw hw u wnt am!!

we don endorse am tayah, but the mods no gree put am for FP oh. But make you still endorse am sha.

flow dis one na update abi na to fufil all righteousness?if u wan update u update well with long post.since morning i don check u tire

As we got close to our gate, we noticed that Baba jay had brought the Container and it had already been painted. It was positioned on a nice spot.


"Tega you don come back from Nwanyi Asaba?" I almost asked Tega as i saw him operating his laptop on getting home.

"Tega you don come back from Asaba?" Man asked, omitting the "Nwanyi" from what i almost said.

Tega looked different that evening, he was bald. His head was like a desert. Maybe Kalahari desert.

The haircut he wore is called "Gbadagba" in Ibo and "Afarikorodo" in Yoruba.

"Tega why you barb this kin haircut na, person die for una house?" Man asked.

"person no die, leave am for me, i like am like that" Tega replied.

"abi na this haircut Nwanyi Asaba say make you barb?" I nearly said.

Talking of such haircut, i will never forget the day i was bald to school. That day i came face to face with my worst nightmare.

I never planned to go to school bald, but like they say in Pidgin; "na condition make crayfish bend".

I went to cut my hair in the barber's shop one evening, when i got there, the crowd was too much, so i went back home. At home, i slept off, and woke up by 10pm.

I hurriedly went back to the barber's shop and discovered the place was locked, they had closed for the day.

I had to cut my hair by all means, so i opted for the lost cause of searching for a barber's shop that was open. I found none, they had all closed for the day.

Why i had to cut my hair by all means was because a Soldier(i went to a military school) had warned me not to come to school the following day with my bushy hair. To make matters worse, we were writing our exams, and there was no way i could miss going to school.

Corporal Ibrahim was dreaded by all, no student could survive just five strokes of his cane. And he was always on duty at the gate. Always.

I thought of what to do for my hair not to remain the same. Then i concluded i would use the combination of Scissors, Razor blade and Comb.

Scissors was first used to reduce the hair to an extent, then Razor blade and Comb took over.

We would had stopped at using Scissors alone, but it would had been a "rat chop" haircut. And a "rat chop" haircut was too bad for a handsome SS2 boy like me, so we went further using Razor blade and Comb to do the dirty job of "Afarikorodo".

The Razor was new, so it was sharp and it cut some part of my head, making me bleed seriously. Maybe it was because the person that cut the hair wasn't skilled at using Razor blade and Comb.

That person was Cosmos my friend. Albeit he made use of a lantern to see properly, he was so blind that he was practically bisecting my head. I was injured in so many parts of my big head.

I never took my bath that night, i just poured water on my head, rubbed off the water with a wrapper and went to bed. The next morning as i was taking my bath, that was when it dawned on me the damage Cosmos had done. I cried like a baby in the bathroom because soap resting on the injuries caused me great pain.

I got to school and my friends couldn't hold their laughter. One of them even named the haircut or rather hairdamage "High tension". His reason for naming the hairdamage "High tension" was because according to him, my head could generate electricity, he further said the lines on my head were like high tension wires.

That was how i got the nickname "High tension".


"where Pkc na?" I asked. "him dey kitchen dey cook" Snoop answered.

"Flow i don pay my money for the salon finish" Snoop said. "how you take do am na?" I inquired.

"I chop Tupac and Bigie for gamble today, i chop them plenty money" Snoop said.

"me sef don pay my own oh, i don give Baba jay" Tega informed.

"everybody don pay finish, Flow na only you remain to complete your own" Baba jay said.


I gave Baba jay some money, he nodded after counting, then he said, "i go go buy the things wey we go put inside the shop tomorrow, but the problem be say, wetin we go give the name of the barbing salon sef?".

You need to hear the funny names my guys brought as suggestions.

And you also need to hear the funny name we ended up giving the Barber's shop.

Nduking92: flow dis one na update abi na to fufil all righteousness?if u wan update u update well with long post.since morning i don check u tire

Whatever you call it. But one thing you should know, i have a very busy schedule 7days a week, 24hours a day.

For instance see when i updated the last update. 1am when you should be asleep snoring.

I am doing my best for pity's sake.

flow1759:
School fees indeed!! School fees for Kpokpon state University, Faculty of Madam Ifeoma, Department of pit digging.

Am impressed[color=#000099][/color]

gendebs:

look at dis silly, stu.pid, ackward, m.a.d, clumsy, cra.zy, Fooolish, in.sane, unmannerly, dafte uncouth human being calling someone oponu when it's obvious he is d bigger oponu alway typing nothing meaningful.

u just qualified ur fada,moda,sistas,brodas,cousins,nephews,nieces nd ur relations,.bloody fool

Madawaki01: u just qualified ur fada,moda,sistas,brodas,cousins,nephews,nieces nd ur relations,.bloody fool

matured minds ryt..wats all dis beef for..war is senseless, peace is priceless..@Flow happy Sunday

Flow u wnt kil me suspence

Abeg flow no mind all this people wey de hurry u to post. Most of them cant even stand d rigours of typing short txts with laptops talk more of lengthy updates with phone. I love your style, slow but steady. Carry go joor. Your story is a joy to read.
I tuale 4 u oo. I doff my hats.

Flow, wia r u

"make we give the salon Masflobtebap cutz, all of us name dey there" Man suggested a name that sound like latin.

"no, make we give am Brain cutz" Brainbox suggested. "which kin name be that one? Na Brain we go dey cut abi na hair" I attacked.

"why don't we name it Divine favour cutz" Pkc suggested.

"Pkc that one na church name na, no be church we wan open na" Man said.

Left to our selfish suggestions, we would had written a Dictionary that night. Because Baba jay for instance would want the name of the Barber's shop to be "Baba the Baba", while Snoop certainly would want it to be named "Snoop Dogg".

We all sat trying to figure out the best name for our Barber's shop. In my mind i was thinking of "Flow cutz" as a picture perfect name for the Barber's shop, i never mentioned it out, because it was centered on the name Flow.


Snoop who had been quiet althrough came up with the most peferred name when he said, "since na all of us join money start the business, and all of us na big boys, make we call am Big Boys cutz".

The name sounded perfect to me, and i was sure it also sounded perfect to everyone save Pkc. What i wanted hearing from Pkc was "Divine Big Boys cutz". Yes, we needed Divine prosperity in the business, but we must not add "Divine" to the name for this to come to past.

"ehnnnnn! Thats a nice name" Pkc said what stunned me.

"Pkc you like the name?" I needed to confirm.

"yeah! Its a nice name" He nodded.

"who go dey barb hair for the barbing salon sef?" Man asked.

"na me na!" Baba jay and Snoop said at the same time.

"the two of you can barb well?" Pkc asked.

"i be expert barber, na for barbing salon my Mama born me na" Baba jay said.

Born in the Barber's shop indeed! And born with epilepsy.

At that moment, i was imagining Baba jay cutting someone's hair and epilepsy attack struck. There would be two things involved; either customers would stop coming to our Barber's shop because they would think the owners are demonic, or customers would from that day refuse Baba jay from cutting their hair, i think the latter would be milder.

"what of you Snoop, can you cut hair well?" Pkc asked.

"na for barbing salon i do my six months IT that time wey i dey school na" Snoop answered.

Very funny!! Snoop had previously told us he did his six months Student Industrial Work Experience Scheme(SIWES) in his Cousin's Barber's shop at Onitsha.

Talking of funny places one could be attached to for IT, back then in the barracks, our neighbour Brother Wale did his IT not in Zenith bank or Guinness Nigeria but in his mother's Akara joint.

Brother Wale fried Akara for his mum with so much gusto. He was so humble, and that made him our role model when we were younger. Young boys wanted to be like Brother Wale when they grow up, that was why we added the title "Brother" to his name.

Another reason why we added the title "Brother" to his name was because record had it that he was the first guy in the neighbourhood to be admitted into the University. And he was very brilliant.

If you grew up in the Barracks you will agree with me that everyone is called by his/her name, without respect. Even those that are 15years younger than you will call you by your name, without adding the title "Brother".

But Brother Wale was an exception because unlike guys of his age that were mostly J.unkies, he was a household name, as parents always used him as an example in advising their s'tubborn children. My mum would never fail to say; "na your mate be Brother Wale oh", when Brother Wale was 15years older.

Brother Wale works and lives in South Africa as we speak, sorry, as i write.


And don't ever think Snoop wrote how he cut hair in his Cousin's Barber's shop in his Log book, he wasn't that d.umb.

Brother Wale too wasn't that d'umb to had written details of how he fried Akara in his Log book.

My bad!! A Log book is a book given to students going on IT to record the daily activities at their place of attachment.


"okay, the both of you will be cutting hair at the barbing salon" Pkc declared.

When two enemies were chosen to cut in the same Barber's shop, Nsogbu would for sure be the case.





Sorry, i think say na all of una be Ibo, Nsogbu na Wahala, Wahala na Yawa, Yawa na .........................? Fill in the blank space with the interpretation of Nsogbu in your dialet.