Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? - Family (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by pisces20: 9:24am On May 17, 2007 |
i don't buy the idea of a joint account. but if ur spouse still insists on it, then you open a joint account with him/her and have your own seperate account so that peace would reign in the family. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by kachiface(m): 9:39am On May 17, 2007 |
I think this issue of a joint account depends on the parties involved. Like Seun said, there are some basic things that signify a dysfunctional family. If you cannot operate a joint account and trust that your partner wont steal off all the money, then you're in the wrong cabby my friend. Also, I have discovered this personally - people always meet up to your expectations, positive or negative (its all about time). The more you trust someone, the more they grow to become trustworthy, its an innate thing, and vice versa - the more you suspect and distrust your husband/wife, the more they become as untrustworthy as you suspiciously expect. an addage says- "your life always goes in the direction of your most dominant thought". For me: I'd do the joint account thing and of course have another account from where you can exercise your unilateral decision, buy gifts and generally - be 100% in control! |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Beline(f): 12:05pm On May 17, 2007 |
they should operate different account please money doesn't make friends and husband and wife always have their disagreement on money matter. so please avoid too much of it |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by saintchux(m): 1:46pm On May 17, 2007 |
I think that having a joint account should be a necessity in the family. All my school fees was paid from my parents joint a/c. The family s maintained from family joint a/c. Just as seun said, it is only a dysfunctional family that will be against joint a/c |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by mekoyo(m): 2:24pm On May 17, 2007 |
Yes they can operate a joint account. The husband can have his own personal account and at the same time still have a joint account depending on his pay. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by kike001(f): 2:31pm On May 17, 2007 |
if there's trust but i will rather be independent |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by pmdaboh(f): 2:42pm On May 17, 2007 |
In my opinion, you should have gotten to know your potential spouse's spending habits prior to marriage, for they will be hard to change just because you make a "vow" in the course of a marriage ceremony. I am an African American woman who married a Nigerian man in Lagos, Nigeria this year. He and my stepson were just approved to come to the United States. When he comes, I expect our savings and checking account will be JOINT. How can you learn to work together if you do not know how to manage together? Having a joint bank account is a good way for you both to get to know one another, trust one another, and communicate your financial hopes and dreams together. My husband and I opened a savings account in a bank in Nigeria, for although we will reside in the United Stats, we will be traveling back and forth a lot. The bank manager that spoke to us about the account never really looked at me (the wife), but he addressed my husband the entire time. In America, this would be insulting to a woman and would definitely not be done! For both (men and women) are treated with recognition. In addtion, he actually had the nerve to ask my husband if he wanted both of our names on the account book, for if they were, I would be able to come in and make withdraws. I thought this was the insult above insults. Why did he think I was there with my husband, to get permission to be able to come into the bank for my own money? That, plus other incidents in Nigeria, made me realize how much women over there are treated as a "second class" citizen. It would never happen in "America. I thought to myself, "Of course, my name will be on the bank account and I will come in and withdraw if I choose , this is my money as well , you must be kidding, right!" I did not speak that out loud, but it took a lot to hold my tongue back, for that is considered a major insult to an American woman. However, I did not want to shame my husband by appearing to verbal, for I love him dearly. Now about the statement a woman needs too much (make-up, clothes, etc.). Well when you married your wife, you as a man, were saying you would provide what she needs. I did not say what she always "wants", for you both have to live within your budget. But you should want to please your wife and give her some things that make her happy. After all, she is doing a lot of things that make "you" happy in the marriage as well. And being a good soulmate is not all about money (far be from it). I was a little disturbed about your description of all the things she needs , do you love her? If you do, try your best to provide what she needs and wants, and watch her go out of her way to give you the things you need and want. Marriage is not all about the "man" or all about the "woman". When you marry you become ONE FLESH. It is like two people emerge into one another, and the final result of that is it produces a "strong force", which should not be able to be broken. And you know what, what difference does it make what I think or some one else thinks about whether you or your wife should have a joint bank account. Tell me, what does your wife think, or how does she feel about the subject is what matters. After all, you are married to her, and you will live with her. If I found out my husband asked advice about whether he should have a joint bank account with me, and he did not talk to me, first, about it, I would be angry with him. Do you care more about what she thinks or more about what another guy thinks? Discuss this with your wife. If you have spending concerns about the joint account, both of you state the restrictions that BOTH of you should follow. But in addition to a joint account, there is nothing wrong with having an individual account as well. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by BIKINI(f): 2:58pm On May 17, 2007 |
Yes, if there is an establish interplay of trust (which should be the bedrock of any marriage in the first place ). but these days it 's almost impossible to get this , don't call me a cynic just being realistic here, so, i think whether a couple runs a joint accounts or not, they should still have independent accounts cos sometimes i think joint account ownership can be restrictive,stifling and suffocating, as one 's party 's idea of exhaling might just start to choke the other no matter the closeness. Even siamese twins yearn for independence sometimes. And i beg to differ , that a family that do no operate a joint acount, does not translate to being dysfunctional In life there are no hard and fast rules . one size doesn't fit all, cos it's different strokes for different folks . One love . |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by dumi(f): 3:03pm On May 17, 2007 |
It is not reasonable |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by spora(m): 3:09pm On May 17, 2007 |
Having a joint means you must give reason for every withdrawal you have to make. In fact, If you give your dad N30,000 this month expect that at least N30,000 must also go to your spouse's next month, if not this. There are some commitment that you just want to do without telling anybody, your wife inclusive. What of having a personal vow with God and you dont want to make it "public"? So my advice: Joint Account can be opened for common family commitment, while you are still free to open your personal account for other personal commitment. But the question is: Can we have faithfulness on the part of the couples in this regard? It is easier said than done! |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by enolase(m): 3:12pm On May 17, 2007 |
Joint account- yes. For joint expenses like building a house, investing in the children's future, etc. Individual accounts-yes. So each party can take care of their own needs. Of course, the husband being the head of the house should take the major responsibility for providing from the family. What is the need hiding money from each other? This only occurs where there is distrust. If there is no trust, then what is the marriage all about anyway? |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Nobody: 3:52pm On May 17, 2007 |
There will never be equality or contentedness in this case. Someone will always complain that the other is spending more than s/he should. I believe that managing your account yourself is the best solution! |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Nobody: 4:54pm On May 17, 2007 |
This is what I would do, I believe there should be genuine love between a couple and openness and trust so my wife must trust me to operate a joint account with me but sha I think as the man of the house i should have my own personal account which will be my secret. b'cos u know there won't be any "fun" for me my wife can easily monitor everything I do which I don't think is in my best interest as the head of a home that should have unquestioned authority. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Seun(m): 5:00pm On May 17, 2007 |
as the head of a home that should have unquestioned authority.Unquestioned authority. So people like this still exist? Well, your wife equally deserves her own private account. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Nobody: 5:39pm On May 17, 2007 |
[quote][/quote] [Unquestioned authority. So people like this still exist? Well, your wife equally deserves her own private account.] Men some guys neva open their eyes to reality e be like say dem still dey inside their mama womb, wake up its the real world, it's a man's world. my guy i mean mr nice guy, are u a sissy or a mr "do righteous" when u mak all ya moni go give everythin to y wife and ask her to give u ya pocket money for the month. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Nobody: 7:45pm On May 17, 2007 |
Taliban: Taliban: These two posts say a lot about your IQ! |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Okeamu1(m): 7:58pm On May 17, 2007 |
Most married women in nigeria are house wives anyways so which kind joint account? I think this idea applies more to westerners with working wives, |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by pssword: 8:54pm On May 17, 2007 |
I noticed that quite a number of guys had strong objects compared to the women, please I did not say every. Some women agreed to having separate accounts, but I think the guys were more. Secondly, many of the guys that agreed to a joint account had a lot of caveats, eg "only for running the house and paying school fees" etc etc. Working on the generalisation that many men earn more that than their wives, it seems to me that those stand to loose more have the more foreboding attitude, I wonder why. I am personally disinclined to it because I like my independence too much. But I can see the logic in having a joint account for running the house. So I asked an older relative - early 40s, I parley with this question and this was his answer : "The way our house is run is thus: I pay for all things except food, that's her contribution to the home. When she runs into financial stress, like now that she is building a house in her name, I assist her when I can and that's ok for us. When I run into financial whahala, she assists me too. Our house runs fine not dysfunctional and I trust and love her very much" I think I like the sound of that more than the joint thingy, she maintains her independence and I mine. Just that I am not sure how that would work in the situation where both incomes are required to maintain the home. Maybe she would write me a bill and I would issue a cheque every month, mmm - that's me 2kobo |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by cgift(m): 9:07pm On May 17, 2007 |
my wife is a moreorless a full houswife for now so the qustion of joint accounts dos not arise as its one account, mine that we use. She knows the in and outt of that account and evn queries me for some deals - i'm very open not to leave room for doubts. What about that? Evn when she starts working, sh will definately have her own account runnig but we must have on joint one no doubt. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by spoilt(f): 6:04am On May 18, 2007 |
people often romantize a couple having a joint account. there's a lot of work and trust that should go into operating a joint account. just because you are married doesnt automatically qualify you as candidates for such an account. and having a joint account doesnt mean complete transparency. afterall they probably both have single accounts on the side. just incase! |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by Ronke2811(f): 10:07am On May 18, 2007 |
frankly speaking there is nothing wrong in operating a joint acount with my hussy, as long as there is trust and transparency. but not withstanding, i will still keep my own personal account. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by seun001(m): 11:22am On May 18, 2007 |
lets say for example we have a joint accoount,abi decided to buy something for my mother,do i have to explain y and justify my purchase to my wife.am sure she too will occasionally have extraordinary purchases to make,so she will have to justify it also.joint accounts may be the harbinger of untrustworthiness instead of bringing the couple together ,may become their nemesis.dont suscribe to it.there is no need for it. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by puker(m): 3:12pm On May 18, 2007 |
NO! If the man has a business account do you think it will be wise to make your wive a co-signatory i don't think it is ideal. Rather a woman should have a family account where the husband would often pay in some money for family upkeep. This is not to say that the woman should not no how many account the husband has. As a matter fact she could be the one to keep his pass books but she should have a family account. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by laudate: 5:03pm On May 18, 2007 |
Oke_amu: Ehn??  Westerners, ke? Are you saying there are no families that operate a joint account in Nigeria? Or there aren't many professional, working Nigerian married women who run a joint account with their husbands?Anyway sha, my own 2 cents: Each party should have their own individual accounts to cover their own personal needs & should also have a seperate joint account, to take care of family expenses. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by saintchux(m): 6:55pm On May 18, 2007 |
seun001: Taliban: |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by joobreel(m): 7:29pm On May 18, 2007 |
joint account? i dont think it is healthy for a man and woman to operate a joint account. i may never do it. but if the account is going to be a such that we put contribute some certain amount of money monthly that we may run some things together like buying stuffs, giving to the needy etc, i dont mind. but where our salaries will be lodged, never. i dont think so |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by kewe(f): 9:58pm On May 18, 2007 |
i dnt see anything wrong in operating a joint account. it all depends on the couples |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by spoilt(f): 11:05pm On May 18, 2007 |
Oke_amu: who says most nigerian wives are housewives? it would depend on your definition of a housewife. maybe you only think only of an office job as a real job. but guess what? all those women who own small shops and are into petty trading have a source of income too and may have considered joint accounts with their husbands. so its not very far fetched in nigeria. |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by teddyface(m): 12:37am On May 19, 2007 |
its not bad if the funds are for the operation of the family alone, but it will also be good if they still have their own accounts for their personal deals  |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by kintro(m): 2:12am On May 19, 2007 |
We are talking of husband and wife here remember; not boyfriend and girlfriend. if u cast ur mind back to the vows u made that day it is 4 beter 4 worse, in plenty and in want. in a marriage u share everything. if u are lucky to marry the right person and there is good communication and trust having a joint account is one the best decision u could make. u are not just to share ur bodies alone but also ur finances. It think most men that are scared of joint account basically have something to hide and are maybe in an unsecure relationship. joint account affords u the opportunity to make financial decision 2gether e.g how to invest, save for the future, buy properties, believe me young couples that have trust in their relationship and have joint account move faster up the wealth ladder than those that operate separate account. With good communication each partner in the marriage will still have certain percentage they can spent individually and collectively. Another fear people normally entertain is that you might not be able to spend on your own extended family without your spouse knowning about it; BUT in an ideal marriage the two extended families are ur collective responsibility and u decide together how much u want to be spending on them monthly, Joint accounts also discourage men from having extra marrital affairs,   |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by spoilt(f): 2:21am On May 19, 2007 |
kintro: we dont know about that! |
| Re: Should A Husband And Wife Operate A Joint Account? by nikinash(f): 11:26am On May 19, 2007 |
i dont know about that. i think couples should have joint accounts if they so desire and they can make joint payments from it. |
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