*sometimes the smartest thing to say is "i dnt know"

*if luv is blind, how is he eva gna find me.

*the only advantage u have over me is dat u can k iss ma @s s and i cant.

*funny how martin luther king was wide awake when he said "i have a dream"


Nb: newbie on dis thread, sowwie if dey aint witty enuff .

i like pigs. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us but pigs treat us as equals

i can resist everything xcept temptation . . . Oscar

what do you call peolpe who are afraid of Santa Claus CLAUSTOPHOBIC

marriage is when a man and a woman become as one, the troubles start when they try to decide which one

marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffe-ring

in weight lifting, i dnt think sudden uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you

Before: "The patient bird got the fattest worm."

Now: "The patient bird gets no worm at all."

Later: "The early worm will get eaten!"

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.

Victor Borge

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

"If you are standing still, you are moving backwards."

@epi, i love dat ur santa claus' quote.
@ifez, what a witty quotes u av there. Keep it up!

If guys had periods, we'd brag about the size of our tampons.

@earth,


. . . A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer . . .

Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them

"To be prepared is half the victory."

-- Miguel de Cervantes

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown.
-- Conan OBrien

^^ Sis leave Gary Coleman alone jare. How are you sure we are not all going to roast?

@post

"Shun idleness. It is the rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant metals.'

Voltaire
(1694-1778)
French writer, essayist and philosopher

""The difference in winning and losing is most often, not quitting."

Walt Disney
(1901 - 1966 )
Academy Award-winning American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, animator, entrepreneur and philanthropist

"For every disadvantage there is a corresponding advantage."

-- Clement Stone, executive

Lead, follow or get out the way.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

"Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction."

-- Kenichi Ohmae, business coach

Dear Lord,

I was asked yesterday to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us. . . a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird. . . a social being. . . capable of actual affection. . .nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we ate it. Please give my respects to its family. . . .

Sincerely,
Epi

Good things don't come easy-by me

Love doesn't cause pain. People do.

"Experience is valuable only if it's imbued with meaning from which one can draw salient conclusions. Otherwise, experience becomes imprisoning."
-
- Barry McCaffrey, general

^^ I like

@topic

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
-- Frankie Boyle

You proceed from a false assumption: I have no ego to bruise.

epi, ur really ruling this thread. More groung nut oil to your elbow

^^^ top of the morning to you

@topic

Neither of my parents has been very sensitive about my writing.

Robert Morgan