Ada Nri1: why is that? I've threatened it twice and my child seems to be in the best of behaviours. But please, enlighten me. I feel for you sha. Seems like your dad is the King and everbodyelse the kingsmen. No queen prince and princesses. He's lucky to have you guys sha, some people will rebel.

Ada Nri1: if I say " my child stop behaving like a goat" to me that's giving the child an example of how she/he is acting. Na wa oooooooo shey na this una wan bring up children? If he goes out and another person calls him a cow he'll hang himself. Better bring up your children realistically or else bullies will target them everyday.

occam:

I will never compare my child with a goat. Why not simply tell him to behave himself. Adults in Nigeria must be respected. True that. Kids too must be respected

Bullies abound in schools and sadly kids are forced deal with it. However, children that have respectful and open conversations with their parents are more likely to tell their dad/mum about the bullying. If you insult your kid, he/she may be hesitant to report bullying in case you call him a "weak goat"

occam:

I will never compare my child with a goat. Why not simply tell him to behave himself. Adults in Nigeria must be respected. True that. Kids too must be respected

Bullies abound in schools and sadly kids are forced deal with it. However, children that have respectful and open conversations with their parents are more likely to tell their dad/mum about the bullying. If you insult your kid, he/she may be hesitant to report bullying in case you call him a "weak goat"

Fhemmmy:

That is a nice one, but i wonder why our parents then are so quick in beating with cane. . .

occam:

I will never compare my child with a goat. Why not simply tell him to behave himself. Adults in Nigeria must be respected. True that. Kids too must be respected

Bullies abound in schools and sadly kids are forced deal with it. However, children that have respectful and open conversations with their parents are more likely to tell their dad/mum about the bullying. If you insult your kid, he/she may be hesitant to report bullying in case you call him a "weak goat"

adexsimply: imagine if sumone deprives u of wat u luv most? I for example, i'm always scared of getting injured in the eyes or palms--reasons
1)i can't imagine a live without reading books(eyes)
2)i cant imgine live without coding(programming)---(fingers)
--nw try to imagine if sum1 threatens to take those two assets 4rm me if i dont empty all my account savings...?
thats just the same thing that happens with ur child...u threatened to deprive him of wat he probably mostly derives satisfaction from....

eriegua83: Spare the rod and spoil the child. The west still have the highest nos of emotional unstable children that grows to adults, so I don't subscribe to their ways of discilpine nor ours in Nigeria its too extreme moderation is better. A stroke or two is enough and it musn't be with all our strenght but most important the child should know why he is being punish so that he can take responsibility for his action but the cane should come as the last option.

occam:

I will never compare my child with a goat. Why not simply tell him to behave himself. Adults in Nigeria must be respected. True that. Kids too must be respected

Bullies abound in schools and sadly kids are forced deal with it. However, children that have respectful and open conversations with their parents are more likely to tell their dad/mum about the bullying. If you insult your kid, he/she may be hesitant to report bullying in case you call him a "weak goat"

Ada Nri1: in my child's case he has an option of getting it, but there's a condition. Its just basically teaching him/her to live with and respect our rules or else
In your own case any1 who tries to take those things from u or any1 is cruel. It can't b justified. I'm just saying a holiday is not the end of the world, but your sight and your hands! There's nothing that can replace 'em for you

Ada Nri1: [b]why is that in teaching show me is advocated instead of tell me? [/b]When u see a picture of how bad you're behaving you will despise and change quickly #I'm just saying.

nickel kid: I believe everyone has a conscience. We obviously know our rights and wrong, but what if the kid no longer fears the rod. What do you do?

occam:

Don't understand this. pls explain

dowjones: *so a quality thread like this can still grace the front page*

my dad is paying the price of his insults and curses cos none of his children talk to him and his wife was inches away from leaving him before she died...lonely old man always naggin on the phone.
Not everybody should be parents, so many people will do alot of good to world by not raising children because they simply transfer thier hate on to thier offspring.
I plan not to have children (or get married) i fear i will do worse but i see failures in parenting and marriage trying to change my mind. Cold world.

adexsimply: ppl can still survive without those(sight and hands)..while i can't...the point i wnt to make is...know ur wards' weak points and strong points, if you do, u don't need insults and canes..despite the age diff btw my once-wayward younger bro and I(8 years diff), i ve not beaten him up to 3 times, and he still respects me more than he does my DAD and MUM..wanna knw the reason 4 dat? I UNDERSTAND HIM and i can proudly say i aided his change for better...my younger SIS(4 years diff) is generally known for her insulting behaviors--> she has never insulted me, and i ve only beaten her once(i was aroun 10 yrs then)-->wanna knw the reason 4 that? i understand and knw how to handle her without being CRUEL...

eriegua83: Spare the rod and spoil the child. The west still have the highest nos of emotional unstable children that grows to adults, so I don't subscribe to their ways of discilpine nor ours in Nigeria its too extreme moderation is better. A stroke or two is enough and it musn't be with all our strenght but most important the child should know why he is being punish so that he can take responsibility for his action but the cane should come as the last option.

Ada Nri1: that's exactly what I'm saying. You know what is working for you and you do it. I know my children don't like doing another person's chore so I use it to threaten and it works.I know too much beating or punishment doesn't work, that's why I talk, talk and talk before I act. Believe me children are very wise. They know when your resolve is weak or strong and they test you. You just have to learn them and stay one step ahead

Richfella:

Look at the 'results' my dear friend. Do abused African kids turn into 'better' adults than their western counterparts?

xynerise: what about calling them Antelope?

dowjones: *so a quality thread like this can still grace the front page*

my dad is paying the price of his insults and curses cos none of his children talk to him and his wife was inches away from leaving him before she died...lonely old man always naggin on the phone.
Not everybody should be parents, so many people will do alot of good to world by not raising children because they simply transfer thier hate on to thier offspring.
I plan not to have children (or get married) i fear i will do worse but i see failures in parenting and marriage trying to change my mind. Cold world.

kaykay123:


@ Fhemmy I think the cane was the best they could do with back then,and I believe they couldn't stand seeing there kids go astray,that's why they tend to use the cane.

nickel kid:
No one likes being insulted, especially not your kids. Many times parents tend to insult their children when they get angry. This has a very bad effect on the children mentally as it tends to lower their self esteem a great deal.
Moreso, it weakens your relationship with them.

Insulting your kids constantly, drives them away farther from you. They get scared of telling you their secrets because they fear you might use it against them, thereby weakening and reducing the quality of your relationship with them.

I know who's mom told her that she doesn't have a brain and that she probably won't make it in life. She ended up committing suicide. Now tell me, who do you think is responsible for the death of that child.

The question you ask yourself then is, how do you correct them without hurting them(emotionally) or reducing their self esteem?
One thing that works most often is "one on one advice". If your kids make a mistake, you can talk to them and warn them not to do it again.
Personally, I don't believe beating a child with cane is always effective in changing their attitude, even though sometimes it works. Some kids are not bothered about being whipped.

Another way you can help your kids increase their self esteem, is by encouraging them more often. This works most of the time as they become more confident in themselves.

My people, please feel free to make contributions to this topic. Thank you

Richfella:

DowJones my man. No, you're only looking at half the picture. It's a beautiful world.

You are not responsible for your dads actions. You are only responsible for your own.

The way he treated you is not a function of your value as a person. Please don't let it colour your outlook on life. 'Normal' parents don't act like that, just look at it in a way, that he had a deep-rooted problem that he couldn't handle. Even pity him.

Maybe some event in the past filled him with hate. And unfortunately you bore the brunt. Do you want resentment and pain to turn into another him?

I read a quote sometime ago that I will never forget, it is by St. Augustine. it goes thus: "Resentment is like taking poison and hoping that the other person will die".

If something happened to your memory today, would you still live in pain over what your dad did in the PAST? The past is dead. It's just a story in your head now. It's like a dream - gone. As if it never happened.

If you read this post, PM me. I'll send you something that will really be of help. Cheers bro.

Life is beautiful.

pDude: My dad constantly did that shit when we were younger and he is currently paying the price.