Wow!!! Nice one OP.ur head dey there.

that IMAGE character reminds me of SMEAGLE from lord of the rings

@omidhe,from ur analysis you ar also very good. Let me forward you a story i wrote and see how working with you a creative script can come out of it and we proceed to shooting. Filmmaking pays in Nigeria. Here is my email: ojesoj@gmail.com, forward me a sample short script you wrote. I will forward yu a story. Lets make somtin out of our creativity and creat jobs 4 other Nigerians. Same goes to @sholay2011 also.

teemy: that IMAGE character reminds me of SMEAGLE from lord of the rings

Hahahaha well said... very true! lol.

what a short but incredible write up...i wud save this page and read over and over again

I really love this play gan ni o.Continuity abegii

Thumbs Up. You made my day with this quickie

Very interesting, concise and hilarious too.

Great piece..keep more coming.

Interesting script (because I read it all!). Quite unusual too. I expected Thompson to be a deranged guy but I don't buy it.He reasons and is working on a plan...deranged people are unpredictable and are more impromptu in thoughts and actions.He premeditated murdering Fumni's husband and even hid the knife when Funmi opened the door. Those are actions of a right thinking man.I guess if I didn't read be was deranged then I would've not expect him to be. Well I do love Funmi... that's a mad lady right there! ... just like Thompson... it took me a while to process what she was saying before coming to the obvious conclusion! Nice work!

What a nice piece indeed.

Op, A wonderful delivery,from a wonderful person in a wonderful country. Its classic and unique. Pls everyone, i have a story to be converted to script. Can anyone help in that regard? Its a very good story i must tell you.

Sholay2011 and omidhe......hw do i communicate personally with you guys. Email or something#i mean biz guys#

this is a master piece . Kip it up

ojesoj: Sholay2011 and omidhe......hw do i communicate personally with you guys. Email or something#i mean biz guys#

Here is my email- oladesuolusola@yahoo.com. 08060520167.

VillageBoi:

Hahahaha well said... very true! lol.

MY PRECIOUS! just kill the stinking hobbits and it's ours. The man has our wife and kids, just gut him right there and the family is ours!

Nice script sholay2011 the script alone is more than a movie, please kindly permit me to drop the way I felt the story should end here, thanks in advance and keep up the good work.


END SCENE-1

Thomson will fell in love with Funmi in order to inherit Funmi`s Wealth but little did he know that Funmi was telling him the truth that the dolls were her children and the Dog the husband but they were cursed by a wicked Witch and only a true love from another man who is unaware of the Spell can break the Spell. Thomson at a point is no longer about the wealth but have genuine feelings for Funmi and he confesses to Funmi and letting Funmi know he loves her the way she is along with her dolls as children.

Thomson: My love, you know I love you.

Funmi: Of course I know.

Thomson: (cuts in) I mean I love you from the bottom of my heart, the way you are and your children I want to be their father.

Funmi: (In tears of joy looking straight into Thomson eyes robbing his chin with her tender fingers) I love you too but you can`t be their father.

Thomson: (Thomson immediately and gently carry up the dolls)I love your children too(Looking straight into their eyes and he called them by their names)Tade, Titi I love you both and I want to be your Father(embracing them to his chest with a warm welcome and pulls them from his chest looking straight into their eyes and he kiss the dolls and there you have it just like the Cinderella story winds and lightening blazing everywhere and behold the two dolls turns into a human form a boy and a girl )

Thomson: (shivering with fear with his mouth wide open and his eye balls ready to drop at any moment and was gently walking to the door) Lord….. I… must be dreaming please wake me up

Funmi : (With excitement and surprise all over her face) You did it, you did it, you broke the spell, wait, where are you going Tom?

Thomson walking fast to the door, on approaching the door, there was a knock on the door and a voice calling Honey! Honey!! Honey!!! And Funmi dashed to the door.

Funmi: Is him! Is him!! My husband

Funmi open the door and a handsome young man in his early 30s entered

Funmi: Honey he did it, he broke the spell, Honey this is Tom…eh…Thomson our neighbor and Thomson meet my husband Kunle.

Thomson was still in shock and hardly can he even altar a word and Mr. Kunle also was stirring at Thomson with anger because he had on so many occasion watch Thomson smooth his wife when he was a dog and Thomson ran out of the house to his.

END SCENE-2

Thomson`s place

Thomson: why me Lord! Why me, I can`t take this anymore.

Image: Fool, was that the plan, are you supposed to fell in love?

Thomson: But I love her. No I can`t take this anymore I have to end it now.

Image: End what? Don`t tell me you want to commit suicide.

Thomson: You wait and see me do it (Thomson reaching for a rope and tying it on the ceiling fan to commit suicide)



Well let me leave here for the original owner of the work sholay2011 to decide what happens next and also to add more grease to my part as I’m not a good writer and please guys forgive me if I just messed up the all things and to you sholay2011 enough respect for you.

ncpat: please kindly permit me to drop the way I felt the story should end here

May I be permitted to add an observation? Thanks...

As soon as I got to 'Cursed by a wicked Witch' near the very start of your post I kinda knew it would go completely off the rails... and it did.

I believe Sholay wrote something that does pretty well as a 'psychological short'. Turning it into a wicked witch/babalawo film and sprinkling it with a healthy dose of 'All-I-wanted-was-her-money-first' just turns it into a poor Alaba-Market copy of something.

Understandably there is not a single film in the world that can please everyone and everyone will always have an idea on 'how to make it better'. If we actually could make everything better then there wouldn't be a single crappy film coming out of Nigeria... sadly that is not the case.

@ ncpat. Does anything 'have to' happen next in the script? Probably not. The audience can use their imagination to make their own conclusions instead of being spoon-fed the conclusion IMO that makes it a much more mature film. There is a reason for the saying 'Too many cooks spoil the broth'.

sholay2011:
Thanks. But I dnt currently have the resources and skill to shoot nw. I am a scriptwriter and an actor.
But I dnt mind Villageboi working with it...

If u are talking on resources, dont bother 4now. I have a plan 4dat. I'm Onos JP, I'm good in video editing. U can contact me if u want me 2give u a plan on how to get it shot.

sholay2011:
Thanks. But I dnt currently have the resources and skill to shoot nw. I am a scriptwriter and an actor.
But I dnt mind Villageboi working with it...

If u are talking of resources, dont bother 4now. I have a plan 4dat. I'm Onos JP, I'm good in video editing. U can contact me if u want me 2give u a plan on how to get it shot. (07066173703) or add me in facebook with Onos JP

A beautiful short script. Nothing was wasted...I love(d) it. Good actors with clear dictions will complete your story...well done!

VillageBoi:

May I be permitted to add an observation? Thanks...

As soon as I got to 'Cursed by a wicked Witch' near the very start of your post I kinda knew it would go completely off the rails... and it did.

I beleieve Sholay wrote something that does pretty well as a 'psychological short'. Turning it into a wicked witch/babalawo film and sprinkling it with a healthy dose of 'All-I-wanted-was-her-money' first just turns it into a poor Alaba-Market copy of something.

Understandably there is not a single film in the world that can please everyone and everyone will always have an idea on 'how to make it better'. If we actually could make everything better then there wouldn't be a single crappy film coming out of Nigeria... sadly that is not the case.

@ ncpat. Does anything 'have to' happen next in the script? Probably not. The audience can use their imagination to make their own conclusions instead of being spoon-fed the conclusion IMO that makes it a much more mature film. There is a reason for the saying 'Too many cooks spoil the broth'.

I see you oh...in 4D!

Enoquin: A beautiful short script. Nothing was wasted...I love(d) it. Good actors with clear dictions will complete your story...well done!

You are very right. It's a character-driven story. Could easily be marred by bad acting when it's shot. Tnx.

Enoquin:
I see you oh...in 4D!

Eno!! How now? Where you dey siiiiince? Me I still dey in 4D you don upgrade reach 8D

Enoquin: A beautiful short script. Nothing was wasted...I love(d) it. Good actors with clear dictions will complete your story...well done!

sholay2011:
You are very right. It's a character-driven story. Could easily be marred by bad acting when it's shot. Tnx.

Spot on you guys. The acting, the way it's shot & edited and the soundtrack will, if done well, will make this awesome!

Yes dear, you are sprinkling too much salt into sholay's pot of soup...apart from some misspelt words which has nothing to do with being a writer...you are not trying to leave that dead zone that is saturated because almost all film-makers tap and tap from it.
The only promise I saw in your story was when funmi's children and husband came back to life...this could be turned to a good fantasy storyline but not with paranoia as the main theme...the thompson's character would have to be different and the build-up would have to be longer not short as sholay's own...that tiny scene of yours can create a whole new plot...no idea is totally useless but let's try to shift from the norm...take care

ncpat: Nice script sholay2011 the script alone is more than a movie, please kindly permit me to drop the way I felt the story should end here, thanks in advance and keep up the good work.


END SCENE-1

Thomson will fell in love with Funmi in order to inherit Funmi`s Wealth but little did he know that Funmi was telling him the truth that the dolls were her children and the Dog the husband but they were cursed by a wicked Witch and only a true love from another man who is unaware of the Spell can break the Spell. Thomson at a point is no longer about the wealth but have genuine feelings for Funmi and he confesses to Funmi and letting Funmi know he loves her the way she is along with her dolls as children.

Thomson: My love, you know I love you.

Funmi: Of course I know.

Thomson: (cuts in) I mean I love you from the bottom of my heart, the way you are and your children I want to be their father.

Funmi: (In tears of joy looking straight into Thomson eyes robbing his chin with her tender fingers) I love you too but you can`t be their father.

Thomson: (Thomson immediately and gently carry up the dolls)I love your children too(Looking straight into their eyes and he called them by their names)Tade, Titi I love you both and I want to be your Father(embracing them to his chest with a warm welcome and pulls them from his chest looking straight into their eyes and he kiss the dolls and there you have it just like the Cinderella story winds and lightening blazing everywhere and behold the two dolls turns into a human form a boy and a girl )

Thomson: (shivering with fear with his mouth wide open and his eye balls ready to drop at any moment and was gently walking to the door) Lord….. I… must be dreaming please wake me up

Funmi : (With excitement and surprise all over her face) You di, you did it, you broke the spell, wait, where are you going Tom?

Thomson walking fast to the door, on approaching the door, there was a knock on the door and a voice calling Honey! Honey!! Honey!!! And Funmi dashed to the door.

Funmi: Is him! Is him!! My husband

Funmi open the door and a handsome young man in his early 30s entered

Funmi: Honey he did it, he broke the spell, Honey this is Tom…eh…Thomson our neighbor and Thomson meet my husband Kunle.

Thomson was still in shock and hardly can he even altar a word and Mr. Kunle also was stirring at Thomson with anger because he had on so many occasion watch Thomson smooth his wife when he was a dog and Thomson ran out of the house to his.

END SCENE-2

Thomson`s place

Thomson: why me Lord! Why me, I can`t take this anymore.

Image: Fool, was that the plan, are you supposed to fell in love?

Thomson: But I love her. No I can`t take this anymore I have to end it now.

Image: End what? Don`t tell me you want to cide.

Thomson: You wait and see me do it (Thomson reaching for a rope and tying it on the ceiling fan to commit suicide)



Well let me leave here for the original owner of the work sholay2011 to decide what happens next and also to add more grease to my part as I’m not a good writer and please guys forgive me if I just messed up the all things and to you sholay2011 enough respect for you.

VillageBoi:

Eno!! How now? Where you dey siiiiince? Me I still dey in 4D you don upgrade reach 8D

Leave me joor...you wey I dey poke for skype (that's if there is that kind of term for skyping) and you no reply...God is watching you oh

Enoquin:
'The only promise I saw in your story was when funmi's children and husband came back to life'...this could be turned to a good fantasy storyline but not with paranoia as the main theme.

Straight to the point. The film will no longer be PARANOIA!

Enoquin:

Leave me joor...you wey I dey poke for skype (that's if there is that kind of term for skyping) and you no reply...God is watching you oh

Really? I always forget about Skype... I'm crap with it and FB too lol... but I follow your blog which is super awesome. I need to turn mine 'Skipiye' on more often lol. Will holla at you in a sec.

Nice 1,its a good one,i enjoyed it,i even felt it was addressing me.please,can i get ur contact,maybe a facebook id or phone number.

Its absolutly excellent, is just seem im already watching d movie, wat are u still waiting 4 go ahead n complete it b4 some else do it 4 u

VillageBoi:

May I be permitted to add an observation? Thanks...

As soon as I got to 'Cursed by a wicked Witch' near the very start of your post I kinda knew it would go completely off the rails... and it did.

I believe Sholay wrote something that does pretty well as a 'psychological short'. Turning it into a wicked witch/babalawo film and sprinkling it with a healthy dose of 'All-I-wanted-was-her-money-first' just turns it into a poor Alaba-Market copy of something.

Understandably there is not a single film in the world that can please everyone and everyone will always have an idea on 'how to make it better'. If we actually could make everything better then there wouldn't be a single crappy film coming out of Nigeria... sadly that is not the case.

@ ncpat. Does anything 'have to' happen next in the script? Probably not. The audience can use their imagination to make their own conclusions instead of being spoon-fed the conclusion IMO that makes it a much more mature film. There is a reason for the saying 'Too many cooks spoil the broth'.

Thanks bros but encourage me more cos i`m shooting a movie come this Thurday. Thanks again.

Enoquin: Yes dear, you are sprinkling too much salt into sholay's pot of soup...apart from some misspelt words which has nothing to do with being a writer...you are not trying to leave that dead zone that is saturated because almost all film-makers tap and tap from it.
The only promise I saw in your story was when funmi's children and husband came back to life...this could be turned to a good fantasy storyline but not with paranoia as the main theme...the thompson's character would have to be different and the build-up would have to be longer not short as sholay's own...that tiny scene of yours can create a whole new plot...no idea is totally useless but let's try to shift from the norm...take care

Thanks man I was only trying to help don`t mean to spoil things or copy another man`s sweat.