I wouldn't say it was great.. Buh I liked the creativity, the concept of the 'IMAGE' really worked for me. I also liked the twist at the end, with the whole dolls and the dog. Buh I felt the description of characters as well as the action description left much to be desired. I also feel the dialogue could be improved, a whole lot. Buh all in all, good job!
I'm also a writer like you and a director.

wow!,we do have a lot of good directors and actors in this forum,i love the diversity in everyone opinions and the different angle from which they used to dissect this short script,it gives me hope that nigeria movie industry is heading for the top.
kudos to the writer for this brilliant piece,hope to see you at the top.

what u av written is not a film script. no slug lines. no location. no time. a film script is not written this way. talent is not all it takes to write.

i-waters:
what u av written is not a film script. no slug lines. no location. no time. a film script is not written this way. talent is not all it takes to write.

Gawd! What kind of trash is dis? (Sorry to say).
What does it cost you to say 'oh, I read the story. Bla bla bla but try adding slug lines, then also indicate location and so on...'

You just whined about how it's nt 'qualified' to be cald a script in ur own 'standards'. Nigerians and pull-down syndrome. Smh.

By the way, what nollywood needs to improve now is not sluglines, location or time in their writing,but a sound plot, told in an impressive manner, awesome dialogue and character development.

The script did some of these and that's why it has been commended by many ppl here who probably know more than you do. Did you even bother reading the story co I notice all ur crying was based on how talent is never enough alone?

In the real world, sometimes it is. You sound quite egoistic. Yours is not a criticism, if it is, then it is destructive.

^^^^^^^OMG! Sholay, you don fall hand. You no suppose reply na. I was waiting for NL shii to be over so I can lambast his head. funny enough, i saw its not worth it, but you just gave him importance

speedyboi is right.
"you just gave him importance!"

The guy is funny o! So with such good writing as this; his problem is sluglines?

I can consider this as a plot to a bigger and expanded story,where the man will later learn about the tragedy that affected FUNMI.Thompson to bring her back to sanity and a happy ending.Nice story!

Swiftboy: I can consider this as a plot to a bigger and expanded story,where the man will later learn about the tragedy that affected FUNMI.Thompson to bring her back to sanity and a happy ending.Nice story!

Hmmm....*thinking mode*

Swiftboy: I can consider this as a plot to a bigger and expanded story,where the man will later learn about the tragedy that affected FUNMI.Thompson to bring her back to sanity and a happy ending.Nice story!

ANY short you ever watch and any short EVER made CAN be considered as 'part' of a bigger story. So to state the obvious... this doesn't really say anything. Stories are infinite... they can carry on forever without ending because the imagination of man will never end for as long as we exist.

Same goes for every feature film. The thing is to know 'when' & 'how' to end the tale.

VillageBoi:

ANY short you ever watch and any short EVER made CAN be considered as 'part' of a bigger story. So to state the obvious... this doesn't really say anything. Stories are infinite... they can carry on forever without ending because the imagination of man will never end for as long as we exist.

Same goes for every feature film. The thing is to know 'when' & 'how' to end the tale.

Pls, read mufex's script. I kinda enjoyed it. Let me hear ur opinion.

sholay2011:
Pls, read mufex's script. I kinda enjoyed it. Let me hear ur opinion.

I read it last night when he posted it but was a bit busy at the time.

VillageBoi:

I read it last night when he posted it but was a bit busy at the time.

Okay.

Meh, i am speechless...the idea is original, and so surreal. I just love the ending..it gives different interpretations to the script.

Pdf format of the script would be great.....

Okay i just saw a movie 'Paranoia'.
Someone has stolen your title or did you sell it out ni..?

prof800: Okay i just saw a movie 'Paranoia'.
Someone has stolen your title or did you sell it out ni..?

Lolz....Prof oh . Well, my title must have been "stolen".

But I am sure the plot won't be the same. I appreciate your concern sir.

Very good script Sholay...precise, creative, cool twists n turn..kept my mind busy all the way and has depth. Depth. That's something not often seen in nollywood..well hollywood too.
Great job.




Have u done any extra work on it?

uj_sizzle: Very good script Sholay...precise, creative, cool twists n turn..kept my mind busy all the way and has depth. Depth. That's something not often seen in nollywood..well hollywood too.
Great job.




Have u done any extra work on it?

Thanks dear. I appreciate. Just thought of properly writing it as a screenplay recently. Or what do you mean by extra work pls?

@sholay have you started using the Finaldraft..?

prof800: @sholay have you started using the Finaldraft..?

No sir. I know I've been quite lazy abt it. E forijimi. Wud go to cafe wiv my system to download wat u sent. I've always used my phone for internet stuff and nairaland sef...but na system fit do dis one. I would then screenplay this short film script properly.

Tnx for ur care bro and God bless you.

sholay2011:


Tnx for ur care bro and God bless you.

No wahala...we are forgether...

And that 'Paranoia' movie starring Harrison Ford doesn't follow your storyline, so like you said, "the plots are not the same."

sholay2011:
Thanks dear. I appreciate. Just thought of properly writing it as a screenplay recently. Or what do you mean by extra work pls?

You're welcome.
You've already answered the question, don't sweat it

Lol@ujsizzle....


@Villageboi I see you oh!

sholay2011:
@Villageboi I see you oh!

Nothing spoil... I don get my email fixed. It was a bit annoying though so here is an apology!

VillageBoi:

Nothing spoil... I don get my email fixed. It was a bit annoying though so here is an apology!

Oh...I guessed so too. No problem.

Villageboi. Was ur email hacked into or something? I just received a 'funny' mail. Is it from you?

speedyboi: Villageboi. Was ur email hacked into or something? I just received a 'funny' mail. Is it from you?

Yes it was hacked... it's been fixed now.

VillageBoi:

Yes it was hacked... it's been fixed now.

Wao! So you be celebrity for someone to start hacking your mail

I hope this stops you from posting your mail everywhere
I hope you didn't get fired at work sha? Just kidding. Good thing you've fixed it

speedyboi:

Wao! So you be celebrity for someone to start hacking your mail

I hope this stops you from posting your mail everywhere
I hope you didn't get fired at work sha? Just kidding. Good thing you've fixed it

I would hate to be a celebrity
New email addresses dey easy... but still using this one... undercover emailer
Fired @ work? We no dey shoot gun for my working places

VillageBoi:

Yes it was hacked... it's been fixed now.

eeyahhhh....@villageboi pele...Hope you didn't lose nothing sha..
Here is my email addy: dandavis800@gmail.com
inbox me so I can have your mail..

AND @speedyboi inbox me too, lemme have your mail contacts. I know you shouldn't drop your email here so just inbox me..
I'll reply with my main mail address.

And has anyone seen the 'Paranoia' movie starring Harrison Ford?

prof800:
eeyahhhh....@villageboi pele...Hope you didn't lose nothing sha..
Here is my email addy: dandavis800@gmail.com
inbox me so I can have your mail..

AND @speedyboi inbox me too, lemme have your mail contacts. I know you shouldn't drop your email here so just inbox me..
I'll reply with my main mail address.

And has anyone seen the 'Paranoia' movie starring Harrison Ford?

Hey our Prof, how now? No I didn't lose anything... the idiot just deleted all my contacts after sending them a badly written 419 mail. Some daft crap like I got mugged in Manila or some place like that and wanted 2800£... who the hell writes 2800£ and not £2800?
How stupid are people? If I had a problem... number one - I would NOT email. Two) WTF - I always have travel insurance. Three) And if worst comes to worst - I'll walk straight into the British High Commission.
Oh well most 419 people must live under rocks if they have no idea of the way the world actually works. They and their stupid easy-to-spot-a-million-miles-away bush persin emails.

Just sending you an email now!