@poster have you ever been close to an ss before? if not please try and find one and be a friend with him/her for few months, after that sit back and think if you want to increase the number of peole going through that sickness. Please do away with the relationship its never late because bringing innocent kids to go through that pain is more of being wicked and more painful than the emotional pain you will feel now which will fade with time anyway. Aimoye long term relationship that ends half way.

Save yourself the pain of regrets looking at the kids you shouldnt have brought to suffer in the first place. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

@Poster
The siituation you find yourself is difficult but not hopeless. The decision to marry or not to marry is yours but I will offer you some scientific and spiritual explanations that will guide you into taking what is the right decision.

1. A marriage between two AS individuals have 25%  chance of producing a kid with SS, 25% of having a kid with SS, and 50% of having a kid with AS. Thus out of four kids, their is the probablity that one will be SS, two will be AS and one will be AA. However these are just theoritical probabilities. In practice, it is very possible that all four can be AA, or AS and even SS since the factors that govern the inheritance of A or the S gene from parents with AS is unknown. Thus marriage between AS individuals can result in all the offsprings having sickcle cell anemia (SS) or may result in offsprings with various AA, AS or SS combinations.

2. At the moment, there is no cure for sickle cell anemia. However it is very possible that within 5-10 years a cure may be developed using gene therapy. Some laboratories are currently working in developing a cure based on gene therapy. I am confident, that a cure will be found in about 10 years time.

3. It is ignorance to base a decision of marriage on wheather or not the person has the sickle cell gene. It is good to do the test so as to know wheather or not it is something both of you can handle. But it is wrong to break a relationship bound by genuine love because of genotype. Discussants who advise for the breakup are well meant but they appear to lack scientific understanding of the complexity of the process. First, their are individauls that are AA but carry the genetic predisposition to develope breast cancer, prostate cancer, stroke, heart attack, Alzeimer and several other diseases and they can pass it to their offspring. Do you also break off from marrying simply because your partner or yourself is carrying a cancer gene?Today in Nigeria, profiling for these more dangerous genes are not availble and that is why people are making so much noise about the sickle cell test. The point I am making is that when you profile the entire genome of each person(without exception), you will certainly find genes that are associated with very deadly ilnesses. In some it is the sickle cell gene, in others it is genes for cancer, alzeihmer, stroke, heart problems etc. If marriages are based on genetic profiling, then their will be no marriage at all since each individaul possess one or more genes that can lead to deadly diseases in himself and in his offsprings. Genetic tests should be done in order to have information and to allow medical scientists to develope antidote but not to decide who to marry.

4. Love of God and the genuine Love for both partners should be the deciding factor. That Love and Gods blessing will help you to pass through all trials that might arise from your marriage even if one or some of your kids happen to have sickle cell aneamia. The only question for you is " Do you and your partner have the necessary conviction in the omnipotence and omnisicience of God? If you do you will overcome all trials and may even be blessed with a cure. If however you donot have this absolute conviction in God and his Will, then it is impossible for you to handle what may arise from having a kid with sickle cell aneamia or indeed any other illness for which most naija people are unaware off because the tests are not available. Thanks

If you know that you are both AS and still marry each other hoping that God will do a miracle, that is like testing God's ability.

Quite pathethic really.
But please save the life of your unborn children by quiting the relationship now that it's avoidable.May God help you in making the decision.Gdluck

are u both christains, born again and holy ghost filled? well if u are u should know first and foremost that God is not a liar,and he doesn't change.What does Gods word say about u ? it says am your creator and i care a[color=#006600]bout u.he also says the tots i have for you are tots of good not evil that u might prosper in all tins.The word also says the tongue holds the power to life and death and u should also be mindful of what u say that u have As common God has said i bore your infirmities and carried your sickness forby my stripes u are healed and blows made whole, this is he who said ask of me anything and i will give it to u it means that even if he doesnt have it he will make it for u.this is he who even knows when a hair drops from our head.Dis is love who for our sake died for us that we might be able to claim the original mandate how much more now that we are saved?Do u know salvation comprises of deliverance,safety preservation, soundness name any good tin, favor, exponential increase etc.Dis is the almighty, Elshadai, God who is more dan enough why den do u think u can't be healed abide in him that he may also abide in u,seekhim first,this mean that u should seek Gods way of doing things and how does God do his tins?Speak his words over u are situation regardless of what the physical might seem keep saying it am healed, wake up in d morning say it am healed, brushing your teeth oh thank God! am healed even when u feel pain speak to it am healed thank God he has healed me.jus keep saying it.Confess it.the two of u.Whose report would u believe God's or another man? the choice is yours as for me any day i will OPT for JEHOVAH'S

hmmmmmmmmm u JEHOVAH vitness sha nawa, look at wat u've said u said sickness, he's talking about SS issue nt sickness like headche or feverish

@poster
I don't advice u to marry her is better u loss her now then in d future, because wen SS is nt giving his/her self rest of mind anything can happen 4rm there now. (SS is nt as strong as that giving his/her self problem again) it's sencless

She's only a girlfriend now So what the fuss

I feel for you bruv as i myself am AS as well.
So far a handful but m_nwankwo have been trying to make a decision that is solely yours and your girlfriends alone to make.
And i bet you half of them do not have an in-dept knowledge about this hereditary trait. I do not condone what your GF did but I do understand her reason for not telling you she was AS. A lot of people especially in Nigeria,due to lack of Ignorance; get stigmatized because they like you and  your GF carry the trait or have SS.
I am not a relationship counsellor neither do i claim to know every thing  instead am writting as someone who has had a first hand experience as my younger brother had sickle cell anemia. Both of my parent are medical professionals and have the trait and their generation did not have the awareness or advance improvements in medicine that exists today. But they understood what they where getting into and made plans as to how many children they would have. As it turned out my elder brother was AA my self AS. And my family is as strong as ever. If you love your GF as you say you do, i mean six years is a lot of time; you both should sit down and discusses what a task you both are taking on and how you both are going to cope. If you both decide to get married plan how many children you both want to have knowing that

A marriage between two AS individuals have 25%  chance of producing a kid with SS, 25% of having a kid with SS, and 50% of having a kid with AS. Thus out of four kids, their is the probability that one will be SS, two will be AS and one will be AA. However these are just theoretical probabilities. In practice, it is very possible that all four can be AA, or AS and even SS since the factors that govern the inheritance of A or the S gene from parents with AS is unknown. Thus marriage between AS individuals can result in all the offsprings having sickle cell anemia (SS) or may result in offsprings with various AA, AS or SS combinations.

There are going to be testing times but with a lot of love, support and if you are a Christan Faith, you will over come.

Think about people who have children with diseases far more serious and terminal than sickle cell anemia. They had no prior knowledge as to the condition of their child yet they have made the best of it. You might be ruining away from sickle cell which can be managed and going to land yourself in something that you have no control over.
The Lord has not put you in a position where He does not have a plan to get you out. For his word said His plans for you are are of good and not evil, to give you an expected end.
What ever decisions you both make am sure it will be the right one.
Below are a list of websites my dad gave me.

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20000901/1013.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000527.htm
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/blood/sickle_cell_anemia.html
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sickle-cell-anemia/DS00324/UPDATEAPP=0

Abbey_city:

are u both christains, born again and holy ghost filled? well if u are u should know first and foremost that God is not a liar,and he doesn't change.What does Gods word say about u ? it says am your creator and i care a[color=#006600]bout u.he also says the tots i have for you are tots of good not evil that u might prosper in all tins.The word also says the tongue holds the power to life and death and u should also be mindful of what u say that u have As common God has said i bore your infirmities and carried your sickness forby my stripes u are healed and blows made whole, this is he who said ask of me anything and i will give it to u it means that even if he doesnt have it he will make it for u.this is he who even knows when a hair drops from our head.Dis is love who for our sake died for us that we might be able to claim the original mandate how much more now that we are saved?Do u know salvation comprises of deliverance,safety preservation, soundness name any good tin, favor, exponential increase etc.Dis is the almighty, Elshadai, God who is more dan enough why den do u think u can't be healed abide in him that he may also abide in u,seekhim first,this mean that u should seek Gods way of doing things and how does God do his tins?Speak his words over u are situation regardless of what the physical might seem keep saying it am healed, wake up in d morning say it am healed, brushing your teeth oh thank God! am healed even when u feel pain speak to it am healed thank God he has healed me.jus keep saying it.Confess it.the two of u.Whose report would u believe God's or another man? the choice is yours as for me any day i will OPT for JEHOVAH'S

hmmmmmmmmm u JEHOVAH vitness sha nawa, look at what u've said u said sickness, he's talking about SS issue nt sickness like headche or feverish

@poster
I don't advice u to marry her is better u loss her now then in d future, because when SS is nt giving his/her self rest of mind anything can happen from there now. (SS is nt as strong as that giving his/her self problem again) it's sencless

hmmmmmmmmm u JEHOVAH vitness sha nawa, look at what u've said u said sickness, he's talking about SS issue nt sickness like headche or feverish

@poster
I don't advice u to marry her is better u loss her now than in d future, because is very dangerous ooooooooooooooooooo

Both of you should pray! Apart form that, there is something called pre-genetic diagnosis. Get as much medical information as you can on assisted reproductive methods and your condition. Then make a decision. Let God guide you!

Can't people have marriage and not have kids? Can't they adopt? I really don't understand the way the average Nigerian think. I am really shocked.

If you love her, go ahead and marry her, you can always adopt if you choose not to bear your own kids for the known medical reasons. And what the hec does God have to do with this situation?

Look dude, it's quite simple: Ask God to change it for you.

Sounds cheesy/crazy, but if i didn't see it with my two eyes i wouldn't be talking to you right now. I SAW IT HAPPEN WITH MY EYES! Period!

If you want to, i could arrange a meeting with the person who can guide you by phone. She's a friend of mine who does counselling. get back to me on this thread. later! Nuff said

@ I feel u o. My mother is SC and altho SC is not as bad as SS, everytime she has a crisis it freaks me out. That stuff is PAINFUL. As a young child I grew up fast because I had to take care of my younger one when our mum was in crisis. I suggest you start to seriously consider the possibility of adopting kids. Dont let typical Nigerian thinking and egostic ideals about continuing your bloodline toy with your head. There are more than enough children in this world that would appreciate your love. Chew on that,

@eiete,

I was not trying to make a decision for them. I only gave them an advice and information that will help them to make a decision.

@ m_nwankwo

Posted by: m_nwankwo

@eiete,

I was not trying to make a decision for them. I only gave them an advice and information that will help them to make a decision.

So far a handful but m_nwankwo have been trying to make a decision that is solely yours and your girlfriends alone to make.

I acknowledged that if only you read my post carefully.

@poster

my simple question for u is:can u run 440 if u can better run and leave dat relationship ooooo,and make sure the back of ur leg is touching ur head wen u r running, A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE

Dear Patosky84,

It is a tough call if you want to have healthy biological kids from both you and your girlfriend.  Below is an excerpt from a website which gives you an option albeit expensive and not always foolproof. 

"Prevention

If you carry the sickle cell trait, you may wish to see a genetic counselor before trying to conceive a child. A genetic counselor can help you understand your risk of having a child with sickle cell anemia. He or she can also explain possible treatments, preventive measures and reproductive options.

There is an in vitro fertilization procedure that improves the chances that parents who both carry the sickle cell gene will have a child with normal hemoglobin. This procedure is known as preimplantation genetic diagnosis. First, eggs are taken from the mother. Then, sperm is taken from the father. In a laboratory, the eggs are fertilized with the sperm. The fertilized eggs are then tested for the presence of the sickle cell gene. Fertilized eggs free of the sickle cell gene can be implanted into the mother for normal development. However, this procedure is expensive and not always successful."

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00324.html

Adoption is another option.  You can help take care of orphans out there.

Goodluck with whatever decision you make.

Abbey_city:

are u both christains, born again and holy ghost filled? well if u are u should know first and foremost that God is not a liar,and he doesn't change.What does Gods word say about u ? it says am your creator and i care a[color=#006600]bout u.he also says the tots i have for you are tots of good not evil that u might prosper in all tins.The word also says the tongue holds the power to life and death and u should also be mindful of what u say that u have As common God has said i bore your infirmities and carried your sickness forby my stripes u are healed and blows made whole, this is he who said ask of me anything and i will give it to u it means that even if he doesnt have it he will make it for u.this is he who even knows when a hair drops from our head.Dis is love who for our sake died for us that we might be able to claim the original mandate how much more now that we are saved?Do u know salvation comprises of deliverance,safety preservation, soundness name any good tin, favor, exponential increase etc.Dis is the almighty, Elshadai, God who is more dan enough why den do u think u can't be healed abide in him that he may also abide in u,seekhim first,this mean that u should seek Gods way of doing things and how does God do his tins?Speak his words over u are situation regardless of what the physical might seem keep saying it am healed, wake up in d morning say it am healed, brushing your teeth oh thank God! am healed even when u feel pain speak to it am healed thank God he has healed me.jus keep saying it.Confess it.the two of u.Whose report would u believe God's or another man? the choice is yours as for me any day i will OPT for JEHOVAH'S

@above

what do you mean by holy-ghost filled?
some people make me laff, talking like some pastor or somthing, who are you?
carry your stupid, inconsistent and pointless preaching somewhere else
just answer simple question, you start to dey write bible!

anyway @poster, if you believe, then go ahead, if it is your destiny, you would cope, i have seen people in worse circumstances
@everyone, whatever your destiny is, you cant change it
@anyone talking/chatting shit, get a LIFE!

A marriage between two AS individuals have 25% chance of producing a kid with SS, 25% of having a kid with SS, and 50% of having a kid with AS. Thus out of four kids, their is the probability that one will be SS, two will be AS and one will be AA. However these are just theoretical probabilities. In practice, it is very possible that all four can be AA, or AS and even SS since the factors that govern the inheritance of A or the S gene from parents with AS is unknown. Thus marriage between AS individuals can result in all the offsprings having sickle cell anemia (SS) or may result in offsprings with various AA, AS or SS combinations.

Please permit to correct the above notion - its not out of 4 kids that you will have one with SS, it is for each pregnancy.

Let me clarify, with each couple being AS each pregnancy they have (the wife i mean) has a 25 % chance of being SS, so in essence if they decide to have 4 children it is very possible that all 4 are SS!

Pls be warned! All the genetic engineering etc that have been discussed are quite good but they are expensive!and many are still in the experimental phase

@BizL4Riz

Thanks for the correction. The probabilities do refer to the chance of a kid born to AS parents inheriting the AS, SS or the AA genotypes. There is no cure at the moment but it is very likely that gene therapy will solve the problem in future. I specifically mentioned gene therapy because that probably has the best chance of proving viable without moral and ethical complications. In vitro fertilization and subsequent implantation of the embrayo with AA genotype has moral problem since in the screening for the embryo`s with the the AA genotype, ones with SS are destroyed. The main point of my post is that decisions to marry or not marry, to have kids or not to have kids should not be determined by the information in our DNA. There is much more to human life and to happiness than the letters in our DNA.

my brother,
this is what we can easily say a test of your emotional judgement and phyisal judgement.i want to tell you that this is one of the hardest decision to make,most especially when you had stayed for too long together.i was once in this situation,had this girl i loved so much,we went had gone out for close to 4yrs then that day came when we both find out she was AS and i was also the same thing.Being a strong christian in faith,i could have easily said that we wont have SS kids.but that one thing very few people would want to gamble with.i was ready to continue wit the relationship most especially because we had become like one, i loved her with all my heart and she also did.she had sacrificed alot of things just to be with me.But as God will have it,we broke up and i thank God i didnt make that mistake.One thing i want you to know is that there is nothing God cant do.I have seen cases of AS being converted to AA.And have also seen couples who are both AS givin birth to all SS KIDS.But like i said its all about you ,your faith and God.But there is nothing God cannot do, the choice is between you and God, pray over it and make a wise decision, and may God lead you through.

My ss cousin spent more time in the hospital than at home for the whole of her 19yrs before she died this past January.

But by the way, do people still date for that long before marriage? 6yrs is way too long!

My ss cousin spent more time in the hospital than at home for the whole of her 19yrs before she died this past January.

But by the way, do people still date for that long before marriage? 6yrs is way too long!

i agree wt u infact my dear a more correct answer could not have been given,six years is too long for courtship

My ss cousin spent more time in the hospital than at home for the whole of her 19yrs before she died this past January.

by d way sorry for ur cousin's death

6yrs is way too long!

six years is too long for courtship

@ Chinda3 & @prince_onx


Says who?

Say who?

say's me,its an individual thing anyway,but i dont believe in long courtship before marriage,atleast maximum 2 years is enough,wat will i a guy be courting in me for six years

@ Chinda3

say's me,its an individual thing anyway,but i don't believe in long courtship before marriage,atleast maximum 2 years is enough,what will i a guy be courting in me for six years   

My Girlfriend And I Are Both AS

You guys are in deep shit

@Chinda3: Thanks alot dear. To us its like the pain has ended when she passed.

@eiete: You don't think 6yrs is too long ba? good luck with it just don't come back here to tell us he dumped you after that long! watin guy want know about you wey him need that long to know and what make him think that 66yrs is a guarantee that he know everything about you!
6yrs is only not a problem if you two started from high school lets say when you were both still under 20 and ofcox marriage is not in your dictionary then! but if both of you are old enough to get married but decided to date for 6yrs, una no serious! stable or not!

If you are rich, or leave in a country with a very good health insurance, it can be done. I am AS and my wife is AS too, I was so careless when I got married, didn't even check. We have two wonderful kids both AA. Each pregnancy had to go through CVS, and it always come AA. We been very lucky, CVS is covered by all health insurance in the states, it will cost you nothing. it is very difficult for wify for the first 12wk though. CVS is done when the fetus is @ 12 wks to determine the genotype, with any option to abort, if the baby is SS. If you have $18,000, vitro fertilization/ preimplantation genetic diagnosis is other way out; the genotypes are determine outside and only AA eggs will be implanted.
I am a medical doctor, it very difficult taking care of people with sickle cell, most of them are always drug addicts due high dose narcotic meds they on. Most of marriages out here with SS kids always end up in devoice. I did it and was successful, someone fell off 20 story building and survive does not mean you should jump off 20 story building.

my guy, plz close ur eyes and ears to all these pple screaming 'test God and see'. The same God has shown u what the deal is. its now up to take decision.

a few weeks ago, a work colleague (nigerian) told me how he had to terminate his twins because they are SS. his wife begged him to keep the children. she said they'd go to church and committ the lives of the children to God but the guy refused. tough love i call it.

he and his wife are AS. research has shown that 1 in 4 child(ren) will be SS if both parents are AS. if u r in the UK, it is one of the only 2 chances given to anyone to end/terminate a life. lucky enough, his other 3 children are either AS or AA.

o boy, whatever decision u take, plz put the children at the fore front and think ahead.

Nairalanders, i really appreciate ur input. like most of you suggested breaking-up, its not as easy as it sounds though I've been considering it.

[/i]chinda3 & prince_onx [i], actually we have dated for 6years there is nothing there it just seems like yest. we met and we're still lessthan 25yrs. time flies and the major thing is that we are still in love okay.

[i][/i]eiete, [i][/i]i really appreciate ur input and I'll go through those websites at my perusal.

[i][/i]bay1970, i have an health insurance but it doesn't cover the cvx stuff & even if it does i wouldn't have the conscience to terminate a foetus and for the other, Nigeria haven't gotten that advanced yet.

nairalanders, my girlfried will be coming over this week-end and i pray we reach a conclusion on this issue cos its becoming a clog on the path of progress.

love you all. naija4live