coldgate: But she did not ask me to rise! That is the confusing part.

coldgate: But she did not ask me to rise! That is the confusing part.

coogar:

is she educated? was she busy when you knelt down?

Nashville:

Ok keep waiting to be asked to rise, when it is not as if she punished you. Just kneel down for her and get up, end of story. I would say what is even more important is to call her regularly and build a good relationship with her rather than serving punishment. Kneeling down the very first time is important just to play safe, after that, watch and learn the family dynamics and you will know what to do!

alutacontinua:
She doesn't have to ask you to rise. Once she answers you, you rise! SIMPLES!

coogar:

a good mother in law would quickly say "rise rise" even before your knees touch the ground. she doesn't need to ask the wife to rise before she does but i would be worried too if i kneel and the gesture is not acknowledged.

alutacontinua:
Some people are to engrossed in the tradition that they wouldn't go all 'rise rise' like that. They even want to notice if the two knees touch the ground very well. It doesn't mean they're bad mother-in-laws, though...that's just how they are.

coogar:

a good mother in law would quickly say "rise rise" even before your knees touch the ground. she doesn't need to ask the wife to rise before she does but i would be worried too if i kneel and the gesture is not acknowledged.

Nashville:

Poster, this is why not to ask about the simplest of questions. Now, someone is suggesting if your mother-in-law does not tell you to rise, she may not be good. Forget about all that, kneel down for her and get up. And remember, she is a good mother in law whether or not she tells you to rise.

Mr Aboki: [size=13pt]^^^^ And for that reason, I believe she should stop kneeling down to greet. A simple cortesy bow would be okay.[/size]

coogar:

is she educated? was she busy when you knelt down?

coogar:

it's not about telling her to rise - the mother in law did not acknowledge the gesture.

Nashville:
Still doesnt make her a bad mother in law. She has just explained there were several people greeting her. Poster, no need to worry or read meanings that do not exist. I will advice you to respect your mother in law as best as you can. No need to serve punishment and she will naturally respond!

coogar:

a good mother in law would quickly say "rise rise" even before your knees touch the ground. she doesn't need to ask the wife to rise before she does but i would be worried too if i kneel and the gesture is not acknowledged.

coldgate: But she did not ask me to rise! That is the confusing part.

coogar: kneel down and get up after the greeting has been acknowledged. the mother-in-law should usher you to get up quickly anyways so no biggie! if she's educated, you might not even need to kneel down....

coldgate: Hi,

I need clarification on this aspect of yoruba culture. When a daughter-in-law goes on her knees to greet a mother-in-law,
when is she expected to get up? Is a wife expected to kneel untill asked to rise? I am from an entirely different part of Nigeria where we only courtesy to show respect. Should the wife feel slighted when her actions are barely acknowledged? How should she proceed? Thank you!