Just do it and get up. its not a big problem.

It all depend dear, it is either she is not happy with u cos of what u ve done or if u are a knew wife dat her son is bringing home for d 1st time it means she does not like u, it her way of telling u i dont approve.

coldgate: Hi,

I need clarification on this aspect of yoruba culture. When a daughter-in-law goes on her knees to greet a mother-in-law,
when is she expected to get up? Is a wife expected to kneel untill asked to rise? I am from an entirely different part of Nigeria where we only courtesy to show respect. Should the wife feel slighted when her actions are barely acknowledged? How should she proceed? Thank you!

In this 21st century....
I personally ain't subscribing to that..

coogar:

yes, they are bad mother-in-laws!
such things shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things. kneeling or not kneeling properly does not show the true content of one's character.

I still disagree. They might not see it in that way. Some people are too deep in the culture and tradition to see clearly. The fact that they don't see clearly doesn't make them bad people. As Nashville said, she should observe how things go in the family: If they attach a lot of importance to kneeling down, it's no biggie...she's not going to be living with her mother-in-law. If it's a family where it doesn't matter to them, it's okay if she doesn't do it. But I completely disagree with the fact that attaching importance to kneeling down for a yoruba mother-in-law makes her bad. Also, the op didn't say she didn't acknowledge her, she only said 'she didn't tell her to rise'...which is not important, she most likely expected that after the kneeling and greeting, she'll stand up herself. That's how it's done, some of them who rush to say 'rise, rise' are even the 'hypocritic' ones cos in the actual sense of it, they want you to touch the ground.

I'm kinda confused o.

There were other people greeting her at the time so maybe she was not entirely focused on you, so what are you saying?

The best thing is to rise immediately after greeting(whether acknowledged or not especially in this case) and if you feel she didn't answer you, when she's done greeting and answering every other person, you go to her and simply say "I was greeting but you were kinda busy, welcome ma" its as simple as that.

I don't get what the big deal is here.

Ujujoan:

You should just kneel and stand up, no need to wait for her to ask you to rise!

This is another thing I hate about 'those people'. . . . Bunch of hypocrites. Like kneeling down to greet will make them live longer. Tufiakwa!

God pls make me an Ibo again in my next life!

go and sit down mumu ibos that can call their mother and father by name no single atom of respect is it too much to kneel down and greet a woman that gave birth to ur husband? senseless fellow

All these kneeling na im dey cause see finish between family members and the wife. My wife won't kneel for anybody including my mum. Men should put their foot down to avoid the wife being used as foot mats.

Ujujoan:

You should just kneel and stand up, no need to wait for her to ask you to rise!

This is another thing I hate about 'those people'. . . . Bunch of hypocrites. Like kneeling down to greet will make them live longer. Tufiakwa!

God pls make me an Ibo again in my next life!

LOL, the same Ibos that can tell their parents to shut up? The Yoruba's are hypocrites no doubt but the Ibo's ain't better.

That's only popular in western nigeria.

Ujujoan:

You should just kneel and stand up, no need to wait for her to ask you to rise!

This is another thing I hate about 'those people'. . . . Bunch of hypocrites. Like kneeling down to greet will make them live longer. Tufiakwa!

God pls make me an Ibo again in my next life!

I dont knw if its right for me to feel disappointed in u cos i dont knw u in person bt i am and maybe it cos i av read some of ur comments before and they were a million times more sensible than what dis. The 2nd line of ur statement was absolutely nt necessary.
@OP, pls dont listen to those that r already tagging ur mother-in-law as a bad person cos they dont knw her and most of dem are d kinda pple dat wld remain glued to d floor if they ever get a chance to meet a mother-in-law in dia life, greet her, show her d kind of respect u would ur mom(she is ur 2nd mom now) and all shld be well.
All is well...........stay cool

coldgate: But she did not ask me to rise! That is the confusing part.

Then remain there till she ask you.
Just joking.......
For me, i kneel on one knee to greet her and stand up almost immediately, she should know im just adjusting to their culture.

coldgate: Hi,

I need clarification on this aspect of yoruba culture. When a daughter-in-law goes on her knees to greet a mother-in-law,
when is she expected to get up? Is a wife expected to kneel untill asked to rise? I am from an entirely different part of Nigeria where we only courtesy to show respect. Should the wife feel slighted when her actions are barely acknowledged? How should she proceed? Thank you!

I feel you my dear.

Next time when you kneel down, you hold on to her as support. May be on the leg. She will assist you to get up almost immediately.

Besides the assistance. She will feel loved more when you move that close to greet her.

Kneeling down is a Yoruba culture. Some are crazy about it and some are not. Since it wont cost you anything. Just do so.

You can decide to stand up if you so wish but just make sure you knelt down on your 2 knees.

That is part of what it costs you to get your man. You know fully well before you decide to go on.

Culture is our way of life and must be respected to avoid any form of problem.

konn:

go and sit down mumu ibos that can call their mother and father by name no single atom of respect is it too much to kneel down and greet a woman that gave birth to ur husband? senseless fellow

respect or no respect d igbo's ve more lasting marriages dan the yoruba's,don't turn dis 2 a tribal battle,cos im all up 4 it

In d real sense d woman shd ve Acknowledge her @ least

If I go 2 my mom's side & knee down na money dey go use tell me 2 stand up,yet she dey knee down 4 free she no happy she beta ve a good excuse 4 dat act ohhhhhh

Ujujoan:

You should just kneel and stand up, no need to wait for her to ask you to rise!

This is another thing I hate about 'those people'. . . . Bunch of hypocrites. Like kneeling down to greet will make them live longer. Tufiakwa!

God pls make me an Ibo again in my next life!

Very laughable. Nobody is begging you to marry from another tribe. if you can not cope with their culture, go look for your tribesman.

Besides, that second line does not make any sense at all. I am kind of disapointed in you cos i follow ur post on nairaland before now and this one sounded as if your account was hacked.

Is she a secondary school teacher?

Is she a primary school teacher?

cdamsel: respect or no respect d igbo's ve more lasting marriages dan the yoruba's,don't turn dis 2 a tribal battle,cos im all up 4 it

In d real sense d woman shd ve Acknowledge her @ least

If I go 2 my mom's side & knee down na money dey go use tell me 2 stand up,yet she dey knee down 4 free she no happy she beta ve a good excuse 4 dat act ohhhhhh

can you tell me how many IGBO girls of the showbiz are happily married? 80percent of the prostitutes in Lagos are from IGBOLAND. All the divorced cases here and there, are they really mainly from Yoruba or IGBO?.
We all know that IGBO girls will always follow the highest bidder and immediately their husband is going bankrupt, they will leave him or file a divorce case.
a typical yoruba woman will fear his husband. rather than divorcing, she might be doing idolatry outside...all of them na wash

Yield: What if you're meeting a boyfriend's parents for the first time?
Do you kneel down to greet them and must your knees touch the floor?

If they are yoruba, it is very very compulsory. Infact to make it better, put on a traditional wear like ankara.
The first day i was introduced, i knelt with my two knees, immediately, she started praying for me and then helped me to rise on my feet.

rezzy:

If they are yoruba, it is very very compulsory. Infact to make it better, put on a traditional wear like ankara.
The first day i was introduced, i knelt with my two knees, immediately, she started praying for me and then helped me to rise on my feet.

Thanks rezzy.

@Op take a cue from that.

coldgate:

She is educated. Well, she came into my living room though there were other people also greeting her at the time. I was the only one kneeling.

Lol this is serious! So you where there kneeling down like she punished you or something? What did the other people around say? Normally, when you kneel with your two knees to greet, you don't kneed to be told to get up... I think it has to do with the situation/circumstance. There's a part of you that will tell you how many more seconds you should be on your knees and when to eventually get up. For instance, if the person you greeted is showering prayers on you, my dear you have to remain on your knees, but as soon as he/she is through with the prayers, just get up abeg.

Yield: What if you're meeting a boyfriend's parents for the first time?
Do you kneel down to greet them and must your knees touch the floor?

normaly, as an elderly person u show some respect by bending or kneeling.

Ujujoan:

You should just kneel and stand up, no need to wait for her to ask you to rise!

This is another thing I hate about 'those people'. . . . Bunch of hypocrites. Like kneeling down to greet will make them live longer. Tufiakwa!

God pls make me an Ibo again in my next life!

Im sure people like you also refer to the actions of "white men" as racist. Your second sentence spews hatred and i am very sorry for your offsprings. You dont need to like a culture, at the very least, respect it and move on.

alutacontinua:

As Nashville said, she should observe how things go in the family: If they attach a lot of importance to kneeling down,

Me, I would like to say, to be on the safer side, whether or not the other members of the family kneel down to greet or not, kneel down and make sure your knees both touch the floor. Daughters-in-law are held to a higher standard of accountability than other members of the family. If you try to treat ur MIL the way her daughters treat her.......hmm o.k. o

konn:

go and sit down mumu ibos that can call their mother and father by name no single atom of respect is it too much to kneel down and greet a woman that gave birth to ur husband? senseless fellow

Calling ur parents by their name is not sign of disrespect so far as they r not complaining. But all dis yoruba eye-service and hypocrisy is rubbish. They can kneel down n greet u and turn back n call u oloshi. Does it make any sense that u cannot express urself to ur elder ones and let them know ur mind and anger whenever u r offended? I am married to a yoruba guy n i love him so much but their hypocritic attitude pisses me off like calling the younger sisters that am older than Aunty dis n dat -reason-because i met them in the family yet they call me by my first name. Abeg! make una go siddon jare. i do my own things my own way. Anybody that want to be offended should be. I love them so much but they know am not out for all those because i am not from their tribe. They doesn't force anything on me besides I am their best daughter-in-law. be urself from d onset. they will love u. Don't pretend.

konn:

she cannot ask u to rise before ur knees touches the ground she is the mother of ur husband so she is not ur mate the only thing is as soon as u knee down and she acknowledges then u get up

Like seriously?So greeting the son's mother has to be excruciatingly tortuous? If it's really necessary for the lady to kneel down,fine but she doesn't have to remain there until told to get up & besides,like someone alluded to earlier.A sensible MIL wouldn't put her DIL through such painful stunts all the time in the guise of 'respect for elders'.

Its kind of confusing that you didnt know or bother to understand this critical aspect of your husband's culture before you married him. Or perhaps there were unsettled issues at the time of this kneeling. To label someone none of us know as bad is being overly-presumptious. As others said, kneel and get up except for when you are being prayed for. And to those turning this into a tribal war, do sheath your swords, every tribe has its own distinct and different cultural practices, norms and innuendos. That something is not done in your tradition does not necessarily make it evil!

Ujujoan:

You should just kneel and stand up, no need to wait for her to ask you to rise!

This is another thing I hate about 'those people'. . . . Bunch of hypocrites. Like kneeling down to greet will make them live longer. Tufiakwa!

God pls make me an Ibo again in my next life!

There should be a "dislike" option for uncouth comments like this.

Since U are crossing from another tribe thats why U find it strange, thats Yoruba culture and U must have gotten ready to face all this drama before U decided to marry yoruba. Just try as much as possible to please Ur in-law for a better stay. U know African marry families plus husband/wife or else they might frustrate the marriage.

cold: .A sensible MIL wouldn't put her DIL through such painful stunts all the time in the guise of 'respect for elders'.

na wah o....is the DIL suffering from arthritis that kneeling down should be so painful?

cold:
Like seriously?So greeting the son's mother has to be excruciatingly tortuous? If it's really necessary for the lady to kneel down,fine but she doesn't have to remain there until told to get up & besides,like someone alluded to earlier.A sensible MIL wouldn't put her DIL through such painful stunts all the time in the guise of 'respect for elders'.

According to a yoruba friend, she said after you have fully entered into the family, you dont need to knee with your two legs again. Even when you come for visiting, its only the first day you can kneel down, the remaining days u just bent a bit to greet.

rezzy:

According to a yoruba friend, she said after you have fully entered into the family, you dont need to knee with your two legs again. Even when you come for visiting, its only the first day you can kneel down, the remaining days u just bent a bit to greet.

Yes you are right. The first time you are meeting them . You create the impression of a child well trained (that is what it looks like to them)

Subsequently, no complains again because they already know what you are capable of doing.

You dnt av to stay glued †̥☺ d floor naa... Jst knel and greet then stand up immediatly after greeting xcept if she's praying for you...
Simple!
Study her well,if she's d type of person dt luvs her culture so much and read meanings †̥☺ trivial matas lyk kneeling †̥☺ greet, den do it for her dt way, you won't be refered or termed †̥☺ as dsrespectful...
All d best.