Find Out!:
Marriage is not all about having kids, yes, but having kids is an integral, highly rewarding and fulfiling part of marriage. Adopting a thousand kids will NEVER compare with you having your very own, just the same way I'm certain Ogugua will be quite content to prepare her own pizza in her own kitchen than ordering pizza from outside. Yeah you can order outside from time to time but imagine NEVER cooking in your own kitchen when you have all the utensils and ingredients, and only ordering from outside just because you can't stain the white walls and carpet in your kitchen, when you should have put a different carpet and painted your wall a different colour in the first place.

Yeah i know making pizza and making a baby are 2 different things entirely but the 2 scenarios are quite similiar in a way.

Dyt: Ni kini?
Otitan mehn
I am AS and I must marry AA
Preggy pain
Labour pain
Slpless nights
To raise u go try
And at d end of it all SS
Mbanu

D day I find out is d day we start to end it small small

ogugua88: [size=13pt]@Mynd44, it's for reasons like these that men and women leave their true love for someone who can have their babies/impregnate them. After they have four or five, infidelity sets in. Marrying for convenience tends to catch up to people.[/size]

Mynd_44: Well if I am marrying, I will be doing so because I love the woman and I want to spend the rest of my life with her not because I want to have kids.

Children are a plus and not the first thing I am looking for else I could as well knock up some girl somewhere.

If we end up AS, i will gladly go on contraceptives and adopt. That even makes life a lot easier sef.

Connoisseur:

easier said. 5-10 years down the line i wonder if you still say this

Mynd_44:
I wonder what will make me change my mind

Connoisseur: I was in this situation a few years back. my gf (best i ever had) is AS and i am same. we talked about it severally, met doctors and even went online to seek help. the best help we got was finding the genotype of the baby before birth and terminating if it is SS. The chances are one in four for every pregnancy meaning your first 3 kids could be SS, that we couldnt cope with. we went our seperate ways knowing it wasnt meant to be otherwise one of us coulda been AA.
Knowing the genotype of ur bf/gf early on saves a lot of stress in the long run cos right now (unless in the future), two AS people having biological children is a sure recipe for disaster

Mynd_44:

Corrected. Remember you don't have to be married to have kids and you can marry without having kids

Mynd_44: Well if I am marrying, I will be doing so because I love the woman and I want to spend the rest of my life with her not because I want to have kids.

Children are a plus and not the first thing I am looking for else I could as well knock up some girl somewhere.

If we end up AS, i will gladly go on contraceptives and adopt. That even makes life a lot easier sef.

poshdiva:

Easier said than done!

poshdiva:

Easier said than done!

val_dee:

Yeah sister.

This is Nairaland.

Anybody can live an imaginary life from the comfort of their home.

Find Out!:



I made mention of having your own baby coz almost every parent will tell you that one of the greatest and happiest things that can happen to anyone is to hold his/her child in his/her arms and gaze upon the face of the little one while the little one gazes back at you and stretches his/her tiny hands trying to touch your face....& then watching that baby grow everyday.



So what matters? 'love' right? Ask the several people filing for divorce everyday or those who are stuck in unhappy marriages. People tend to misunderstand love a lot. Love is many things, but believe me, it is NOT stupid and also NOT selfish. .

ogugua88:

[size=13pt]You'd be surprised. I don't have to make my own pizza lol. I don't have to have children either. I'd be very content in adopting. That had been my plan since I was very young. If I could, I'd adopt at least one child from each continent. Yes, wild dreams, but I love children, and they don't have to be mine biologically. If I can't have a child with my partner, then that's more than fine. Not everyone puts children before his or her spouse. For me, I have to be happily in love to even consider children. I was raised by two parents who have been crazy for one another for 28 years. I want my children, mine or adopted, to be raised in the same environment.[/size]

Mynd_44: I don't see the point in the whole HIV debate. You brought it up and it has been addressed so let's drop it and move on but the problems we have with adoption resides in our heads and the sooner we get over it, the better.

ogugua88: [size=13pt]@Mynd44, it's for reasons like these that men and women leave their true love for someone who can have their babies/impregnate them. After they have four or five, infidelity sets in. Marrying for convenience tends to catch up to people.[/size]

Connoisseur:

yeah noted
but why i used getting married is because even though you plan not to be pregnant, it could still happen and by then your resolve might not be as strong as it was in the beginning.
so getting married is still courting trouble

Mynd_44: I find it amusing that he did not quote my post about the love between partners who end up marrting one another irrespective of whether they can have a child or not and comparing it with having to raise a child in a loveless marriage cos they can have kids

Mynd_44:
Yet we keep igoing that fact and run after IMMATERIAL things. I guess some people will prefer the joys of having biological children in a lovelless marriage to adopting children in one with with love.

Mynd_44: now with the last paragraph of your last post, you start to rescind a little. You start to use "I" which indicates a personal choice which you make.

In my initial post, did I not state my personal opinion? It is what I would do and I said it but you chose to come at mehereby starting this argument.

In the end, it boils down to choice. I have told y'all mine and you have said yours. Lets leave it there

poshdiva:

Well said! Most people think love would last forever. After marriage give it 10-15 years and see if you are still in love.

Fact is that those who got married for the wrong reasons are the ones who have a high rate of divorce. Once those big breast,big ass, swag, beauty, six packs e.t.c which were the reasons they married that person start to fade, they are hit with reality which they cant handle and they opt-out.Love is not everything. There is more to marriage than love.

I have friends who are SS. Whenever any one has a crisis, i think of their parents and how selfish they are. They could have sacrificed that love for the life and wellbeing of their future kids.

My best friend is AC. Whenever he has a crisis, he has to be injected in the heart. I know what i go through everyday. Always scared of losing him. All these could have been avoided.

Mynd_44: Hey no sweat bro. Our differences makes the world beautiful

pc guru: There's no day that goes on that i don't think about it, my babe and I are both AS, and having drawn the outcomes and possibilities, the favour is totally not on my side. Its just sadness and pain ahead. However she's someone i can't imagine not being with. we are still together, but each day is like a clock ticking,I know one day something sad will occur,to be frank problem-solving is my thing, but this one is just totally different.

Connoisseur: i can relate with your story. spent 2 years hoping and praying that a new invention is coming to make it all go away. its difficult but if you really love her, let her go.

ogugua88:

[size=13pt]By doing so, it means that he loves the idea of having children more than his current girlfriend and his own happiness.[/size]