I was shocked and thrown into fresh pain and sadness when I stumbbled upon what my husband wrote about me on this forum. I was shocked den completely angry. What manner of man would put up such about his wife? He has sooo painted a picture of a cheating wife...no body cared 2 ask him what could he av done 2 push his wife outside...it seems on dis forum people thrive on insults.

The insults were just too much and I av decided 2 speak. Let u all be the judge since u all can judge.

I met my husband October 24th 1997 den I was just 17years fresh out of secondary school. I was very Naïve. I fell in luv with him. That luv was pure.. But we broke up after 5years because my husband cheated on me. My husband luvs women more dan himself. But dis he sees nothing wrong with...he claims he is a man so that makes it okay.

We seperated, and reconneced 2004, den he proposed 2 me but I refused 2 get married den becos I was still in school. I did still luv him but I knew I wouldn't av been able 2 cope with the struggles of school and marriage.

We seperated again and in 2008 he met me again after I finished proposed again and I agreed dis time around and the ball was set...

Meanwhile my so called husband 2 be was still in 3different relationships..the girl he was taking home 2 marry, his yoruba girlfriend and his igbo girl friend. I didn't know all these until few weeks 2 the wedding...I was shocked but my hubby said it was normal...

On his way home 2 introduce his wife 2 be 2 his parents, he stopped and took me instead..and dumped the other girl...I found out later and asked him wjhy, he said he loved me more. I wondered was it that easy 2 switch off dis luv feelings and switch it back on?

Few days 2 our white wedding months after our court wedding, my husband was still sleeping with his yoruba and igbo girlfriends...this I got 2 find out after the wedding from a text in his ☎ and the girl herself even his own sibblings..he actually came 2 marry me from her bed.....my husband said that was normal because he had not put a ring on my finger, so that can't be classified as cheating.

I was shocked...I started noticing stuffs about my husband I didn't see 17years ago when we were dating....aside from the fact that he loved women, he is also lazy....would rada sit back without struggling while things are brought 2 him on a platter.

I av been hustling 2 make ends meet 2 feed my baby and make sure we don't die of hunger..he sat here conviniently saying he meets all his duties as a husband...in all alspect in that area he has failed as far as I am concerned..

When going 2 work he picks up women in the name of given dem lifts, dey exchnage pins and become chat mates...morning afternoon night updating each others on their lives and movements....he said there is nothing between dem...my husband registers in dating sites and puts up statistics of the kind of woman he luvs women responded 2 dis, even including our area where we live as his area of concentration....and he said he did that just 2 understand women better..

All dese he did while I was pregnant 4 my baby..there was a time I saw a crazy chat on his ☎ where he was telling a young girl how beautiful and attractive she is and how he couldn't resist walking up 2 her when he saw her from accross the street. I was shocked. He was supposed 2 buy the foam we used 2 set up my baby room and he ended up toasting the sellers daughter when I found out he said he was trying 2 make her feel better about herself...imagine !!!

Another time still while I was pregnant dis same man didn't bathe 4 4days he was busy chatting with a woman on yahoomail..describing in details 2 2 make luv 2 a pices woman the spots 2 touch 2 set her offs lots of raw personal chats...how did I see dis? He fell asleep and I saw it...I woke hoim up asked him and he said. She is a ldy he gave a ride and she complained 2 him she can't seem 2 get pregnant 4 her hubby...pls my husband is an engineer not a therapist or a councellor...

Where I work I had two male friends, both I was very close too. I spoke 2 one constantly and sought his advice but the thing is he always supported my hubby said I should stop acting on substantial evidence...I got very close 2 him, I don't av female friends cos they can be very female if u understand what I mean.

This my Oga and I became close he assisted me in many areas...yes I developed feelings 4 him. But dis was very under control I work with this man almost 24hrs of the day...and he was always dere....he assisted me in areas that I needed my hubby 2 but he was too busy making friends and torturing me emotionally and physically ...he said he has never laid his fingers on me that is a lie he has belted me 2wice and used a shoe 2 beatme up too...simply cos I said he should cut off from dese women.

I slept with my colleague 2wice yes....I shouldn't av done dat I av no justification. I was depressed and needed someone 2 talk 2....we both realised what we were doing and put a stop 2 it...that period if he can be truthful my husband can testify 2 how that affected me that period.I was dying in silence cos I wanted 2 tell him. I was scared....he failed 2 mention he found out 5months after all had ended...I slept with dis man march ending..and it ended, 5months after I put 2 bed..I was wrong and I av been suffering in silence and in the open....my husband failed 2 mention I had 2 travel 4 1whole week without my baby, 2 cover an assignment so as 2get money 2 the the needs of the home cos we were starving. I came back after 7days and my baby rejected my breast milk cos she hadn't sucked 4 long. Now he said I was aving an affair and sleeping with another mab without condoms...

Conviniently condeming me as an irresponsible mother...8months on I am still begging 4 forgiveness. I don't sleep at night I try 2 make ammends but he has refused 2 forgive me, when I forgave and av stuck by him even with all his excesses. I read all he wrote and all ur responses and I felt bad...I cheated yes that authomatically made me a bad wife....he saw mails that pointed 2 nothing and revealed nothing...but I told him I slept with him cos I couldn't keep it anylonger. Now he makes it sound as if it is an ongoing thing.

I av decided 2 grant him a divorce, cos I cannot stay on in dis kind of marriage where a man thinks he is god and cannever be wrong.

8days after I was married his girlfriend kept callings mocking and insulting me, he did nothing about it....stayed becaus I loved him...but now he judges me, when he is the one who brought in his excess bargage into our marriage from the begining 2 lay a bad foundation fo our marriage and he blames me...

I am no saint, but I av been the best wife as I can be and te best mother any woman can hope 2 be....I av left that organization just 2 prove 2 dis man I luv him and av nothing 2 do with dis man but he has still refused 2 forgive..

Accoring 2 him when a man cheats, it is the norm and tradition of the society becos that's how its supposed 2 be. It is acceptable so that makes it okay. But when a woman does it is a taboo and it becomes unforgivable...

He complains I am fat, he loves slim women...so he is out hunting 4 his stepford wife....a lady a corper calls him regularly even late at night as late as 2am or 1opm and he says she is his friend...an It student that worked in his office den went 2 service he has been keeping constant touch with different women, not minding my feelings when I ask he says I should deal with it...

Tell me how much can a woman take..even if I am a robbot. U all judge and insult me..calling me names that are unthinkable...u can think all u want I am not a bad wife neither am I a bad mother. He told me from the onset this marriage was a mistake now I am ready toright dat mistake I cannot continue 2 torture myself and suffer in silent. Recently I was diagnosed with high BP..as a result of too much worry and stress. I av asked him does he wnt me 2 kill myself before he knows I am sorry?

Men don't do unto others what u cannot take he must realize dat.

I am so following this

No be today yansh dey back. We have seen these concocted stories over and over on this section. Just like I thought, happy researching for your class. . *exits thread laughing*

What I actually don't get is why you decided to stick to a man who treated you so badly for so long. I am sure you will talk about some silly wifely responsibility but seriously, that marriage of yours should not have happened.

You already saw the signs but you chose to go in. He cheated on you once, you broke up, he did it again and told you it is normal and you did what? You went along with it. Then there is the issues of the drama before your wedding which you followed through with without thinking about it.

Okay I can swallow all the crap he did and take it that you were naive but you have been begging for forgiveness for 8 months? Seriously are you that lonely or you would not survive without him?

I dare say that you allowed him treat you like poo cos you continued to take his lousy excuses and moved on.

After all said and typed, I am glad you have decided to move on with your life. He does not deserve you or anyone for that matter and you should look forward to making your own life pleasurable and not living for someone who does not deserve you.


Even though I think this whole thing is a fraud

Hmmmmm, you knew he was a cheat before you married him yet you choose to go ahead? You cheated on him whilst married and you think 2 wrongs make a right? You dont need to explain or defend your actions. You have allowed third parties more than enough to give their opinions about your married life.
I personally can NEVER tolerate a cheating husband and i dont envy what you have gone through in the hands of your hubby, however by choosing to stay, then you have ACCEPTED his actions/habits and you cant then turn around and complain that he is a serial cheat hence he should forgive your transgressions.
Evidently you are hurting and so is hubby,and its clear you are willing to work things through as you are both communicating albeit to the wrong person and a very wrong platform. perhaps some neutral counselling might help (not family or pastor/Imam but a paid professional counselor).
Your hubby perhaps choose you because he loved you more (like you say he said) probably because he never assumed that you would cheat on him (he forgets Karma is a bi----aatt---ch)
Unfortunately, the only person i feel sad for in all of this is your daughter. in this day and age of IT, everything you print online remains there......even if Seun deletes this thread, who is to say someone hasnt recopied and posted it on a different forum? What happens when your daughter turns 9 and stumbles on this aired dirty laundry that can only be likened to a soap opera that was her parent's marriage?
It is well with you both and i wish you wisdom and God's guidance in whatever decisions you make.

This is s-e-r-i-o-u-s!

Like seriously?

So we are just supposed to believe this story? Na wa for NL sha, this clearly shows even the other version was all wash, mscheew.

Two sides to a story and I can't tell who's saying the truth. I hope you husband doesn't come here to counter all these allegations too. You both should go off the internet and sort it out.

raqueal: Two sides to a story and I can't tell who's saying the truth. I hope you husband doesn't come here to counter all these allegations too. You both should go off the internet and sort it out.

I hope he comes to counter them ooo.

OP...Its a family affair, kindly keep it off public forum. You shouldn't because your hubby decent so low to wash his dirty linen in public you should do thesame... Seek for elderly advice and guidiance on this very complicated issue. NL is filled mostly with kids who wouldn't read the post before taking sides or bashing insults, or even post for posting sake. I pray you get to solve the issue soon.

**Patience is one very important tool that keeps a relationship/marriage sailing. So also do you need to overlook most of his flaws. He will outgrow it.**

ondo_boi: OP...Its a family affair, kindly keep it off public forum. You shouldn't because your hubby decent so low to wash his dirty linen in public you should do thesame... Seek for elderly advice and guidiance on this very complicated issue. NL is filled mostly with kids who wouldn't read the post before taking sides or bashing insults, or even post for posting sake. I pray you get to solve the issue soon.

**Patience is one very important tool that keeps a relationship/marriage sailing. So also do you need to overlook most of his flaws. He will outgrow it.**

Of all the crap I have seen today, the bolder tops the list. You are the type that will condemn a woman who cheats but when the man does, you say he will outgrow it?

WTF....

Theres 3 sides 2 a story, your version, his version and the truth. I am indifferent as to whether the "story" is a fraud, truth or whatever.....i will say that i hope you/your hubby/student researcher/story teller find whatever it may be that you seek be it advise or survey feedback.
Happy sunday all. XoXo

@OP
if what you wrote is right by you, then (imho) you are fully to be blamed for what is happening to you:
- any smart person knows that you are only responsible for your own actions, so although your husband is responsible for his cheating ways, you are responsible for yours. two wrongs can only make a right IF YOUR ACTIONS SOLVE THE PROBLEM AT HAND, which it surely didnt in your case.
- you married a guy that you fully well knew was a cheater.
- you cheated on that said man thinking it would solve your emotional issues, while it certainly did NOT.
- you cheated thinking it would show your husband that you could do what he did/does, but instead you created a bigger monster.
- you husband is a cheater, and if you dont want to be with a cheater then LEAVING is the only solution (whether you have a child together or not)....... how you fail to understand that is quite amazing.

JUNK!

This life episode two series 2013

whyme222 what ya have to say?

Viewing this topic: nora544, Eberay(f),
cutestA, click2cbn(m), ondo_boi(m),
WhyMe222(m), zibiah, bengreat(m), eddyjibs
and 5 guest(s)
And he is just viewing. Oya ooo talk ya own

this ish cray hahahahahahaha

*yawns and goes back to sleep*
Please wake me up when the movie ends.

Sorry people, I don't mean to trade words. This is all I want to say and will ever say here.

Yes I came here just like every other individual hurting comes here (Family section which is assumed to be for family related matters and matured minds) to get second opinion and most importantly, to unburden my heart.

In all my write up, I never called her names, I never talked her down, irrespective of my anger and bitterness, I still maintained sanity. I only registered my pains and what led me to that. I also was very discreet and careful to leave out certain details so as to keep this anonymous. It is very unfortunate that I am afraid in her bid to paint me a devil and dispel my story, she might have revealed too much information. I worry about that because no body knows what tomorrow has in store. Family or colleagues my stumble unto this and decipher it.

I wasn't a saint as a young person and bachelor. Any single guy who hasn't at one point or another kept more than one relationship (not kids in their teens or early twenty's) should cast the 1st stone. Most especially when you get to a certain stage when you have to seek out that one person who will complete your life.

Let me also categorically state here in all sincerity, I have NEVER cheated on this woman ever since I said I do. I saw it all in my single-hood and made a commitment to myself to remain faithful because there was nothing else to look for. The woman I married had all I wanted except for being heady, stubborn and short-tempered.

Yes I am a very compassionate person, friendly and a moral booster. I can talk a suicide bound individual out of it. I have a way with words but I know where to draw the line.

This is the much I can say. I leave it all to our NLanders to sieve the chaff from the grain.

I am Lazy while she is the diligent and industrious one who doubles as the bread winner of the house. No problem, I leave it all to posterity and heavens to judge.

Good day all.

Drama Drama Drama.


*following*

I still stick with my post. She never should have married him

Whyme222.

You said you have never cheated on this woman. What do you mean? Is that the truth? She claims otherwise. Are you saying she is telling lies? So, who do we believe? Can you lay your p.e.n--.i.s on your head and swear you have never used it to nack another woman since you got married to your wife? Swear dude.

This is why its never good to seek any help on NairaLand, you never know how it will boomerang. Now, go back to your wife and seek forgiveness. Wife, go back to your husband and make up. Husband, your p.e.n--.i.s belongs to your wife only, give it to her. Now say Amen.

2Legit2Qui: Whyme222.

You said you have never cheated on this woman. What do you mean? Is that the truth? She claims otherwise. Are you saying she is telling lies? So, who do we believe? Can you lay your p.e.n--.i.s on your head and swear you have never used it to nack another woman since you got married to your wife? Swear dude.

This is why its never good to seek any help on NairaLand, you never know how it will boomerang. Now, go back to your wife and seek forgiveness. Wife, go back to your husband and make up. Husband, your p.e.n--.i.s belongs to your wife only, give it to her. Now say Amen.

Oi moi faawcken Gaawd. This is funny mehn

Oyaa where's wife of whyme let's get this parrie started!

Both parties should make sure after this drama they delete this thread oh. Its not too good

Jumps into ARA-GA-AGBÄ-NDI-ARA-RIVER


Husband claims he never cheated, wife claims he did.... Husband claims she did cheat, wife admits so... Since only one person admits cheating, to me only one person Cheated, the wife!!!- i might take back my word if d husband claims ol dis tins d woman said is wrong.... To me, i tink she exaggerated cos I've never seen somebody dat does half of wat dat lady says, a lazy engineer, nice one. U knew he was cheating b4 wedding, yet u still went ahead....

Well, am not judging anything o, i even tink dat whyme and wifeofwhyme are the same person trying to play with nairaland, but even if it's tru, sorry to say u kids need to go offline and sort tins out, nairaland dont need ur marital pique!!!

OMG
Breeze don blow, fowl nyansh don open... Dis is what happens wen you wash your dirty linen outside

OKAY

sweet-tease:
OMG
Breeze don blow, fowl nyansh don open... Dis is what happens wen you wash your dirty linen outside

naso

you guys should just settle ur stuff offline mehn.. cos dis might get messy...

Let's get to this
The Mrs is so wrong to be judging her husband based on whatever he did while still single.
The woman has no evidence whatsoever that the man has been cheating.
she is only shouting about his acquiantances and she expects people to shoot her husband cos he got female friends.
I would have expected a much robust rebuttal. for a woman this intelligent not to be able to provide a better justification for her infidelity points to one thing ,she got none. I hope people will learn to approach this devoid of sentiments.
the fact remains she has no evidence whatsoever that her husband as been cheating . Meaning she only acted on a flimsy suspicion