I hope you all know what marriage is about. Are you married or have been married?

I believe wives should submit to their husbands. I believe the biblical way, a good husband and there should be no problem submitting. You can be strong and the home builder and still have a decent amount of power. Unfortunately many women don't know how to use this power. Those who are married and have a husband who respect them and are truly loved would know what i mean.

venusmaze:

I believe wives should submit to their husbands. I believe the biblical way, a good husband and there should be no problem submitting. You can be strong and the home builder and still have a decent amount of power. Unfortunately many women don't know how to use this power. Those who are married and have a husband who respect them and are truly loved would know what i mean.

exactly my point.

babyosisi:

no, I don't mean you dear.
men call our debates nagging,you know how they don't talk much but we go on and on.

believe me, man nag and I know a living example. Maybe it's an ecception but

babyosisi:

you shouldn't even be talking about men michelin,you have books to read

I can't be reading always about them. I also like to talk about them and interact with them.

_{I know what you mean. i am just being ironic!}

babyosisi:

The Bible tells men to love their husband as Christ loves the CHurch and I know Christs love for the Church is a powerful one.

I hate to be that asshole that magnifies a minor typo/mistake, but the implications of this made me laugh out loud.

On to the topic--I'm of the school where Biblical recommendations aren't the be-all and end-all of life, but obviously people like Babyosisi find comfort and security in submitting. Nothing wrong with it if it works for you--I enjoy a different kind of submission from a woman every now and then myself Like everything else though, submission's it's not a one-size-fits-all solution. If you want your parent's marriage, you should follow their style and structure and make yourself happy. And if you don't want your husband to pick your clothes in the morning and supervise your toothbrushing sessions, that's fine too.

Honest question for Babyosisi though--is there some sort of line where you feel like your husband's authority would interfere with your own independence/individualism? What is the difference between submitting (and "ending up being the captain of the ship" and giving up your own decision-making to someone else's whims?

babyosisi,

Preach it sister!  God bless you!!


@michelin89, stop stereotyping.  Not good at all at all.

goodguy:

@michelin89, stop stereotyping. Not good at all at all.

I don't like to generalize either. But I am referring to the majority so I used as a convenience. Nothing personal!

TerraCotta:

I hate to be that that magnifies a minor typo/mistake, but the implications of this made me laugh out loud.

On to the topic--I'm of the school where Biblical recommendations aren't the be-all and end-all of life, but obviously people like Babyosisi find comfort and security in submitting. Nothing wrong with it if it works for you--I enjoy a different kind of submission from a woman every now and then myself Like everything else though, submission's it's not a one-size-fits-all solution. If you want your parent's marriage, you should follow their style and structure and make yourself happy. And if you don't want your husband to pick your clothes in the morning and supervise your toothbrushing sessions, that's fine too.

Honest question for Babyosisi though--is there some sort of line where you feel like your husband's authority would interfere with your own independence/individualism? What is the difference between submitting (and "ending up being the captain of the ship" and giving up your own decision-making to someone else's whims?

lol, men loving their husbands,that's another topic altogether.
Terracotta,I'm a newly wed so I don't even think I'm qualified to talk much on marriage issues.

I married at a mature age nevertheless but I courted my hubby for a while and leant about him.
Unfortunately,I have close friends that have been divorced or at the verge and I've heard their stories and seen their pain.

The key is finding a mate who has same values as you and these things must be discussed at courtship.
No woman(or man) should go into marriage blindly,a man that does not entertain any kind of discussions or input from the woman most likely showed such tendencies at courtship but most women overlook this very trait and go ahead.

Do you know that most abused women were also abused during the engagement period and they think somehow,walking down an aisle would change the man or having a baby will fix it.
Sumission is only possible when you have a person who respects you as a woman and treats you right.

When my opinion differs from that of my man,I soft pedal,I know not to yell out my opinion in an argument.
He is more likely to listen when there is no tension and believe me,he does what I asked most of the time.
I learnt that from my mom and I know it works.

Men would usually not listen to a woman not because they think she's wrong but because they feel their ego has been hurt.
This is a fact

@Babyosisi,
Beautiful submission and well delivered for a "newly-wed" , by the time you are "old wed" you must have written a couple of books on marriage; been married for 5 yrs and I totally agree with all your points, in fact I'm also learning from your words .

Quote from: babyosisi
A man would go to any length for a woman that is submissive to him.
I challenge any married woman here to try it,you'll find out that all your nagging will be gone.
He'll be dancing to your tune.
It works,oh does it work!!!
mom is always right.
Very correct.
In fact it aptly describes the situation in my parents home. My Mum is a second wife and unlike most stories I hear of the second wife being better treated, she is the one that gets the short end of the stick. She is very independent mind, while the first wife is dubmisive to the extent that some would call her a mugu but the funny thing isn that it is her wishes than my Dad carries out. Meanwhile any suggestion my mum makes will not be considered on its merit just because he thinks she's too opinionated.

I was alluding to this in my previous post when I stated that pikin wey say im mama no go sleep no go sleep. I meant that we might just have an unhappy marriage if we never agree on issues. I never indicated that I would beat up my wife. In fact most of the women I have dated have been bigger than me
I would prefer to just her antics and hope that she comes to her senses

Quote from babyosisi
The key is finding a mate who has same values as you and these things must be discussed at courtship.
No woman(or man) should go into marriage blindly,a man that does not entertain any kind of discussions or input from the woman most likely showed such tendencies at courtship but most women overlook this very trait and go ahead.
My point exactly. Women get to choose who they submit to. The bible specifically says your husband not boyfriend of acquaintance of even fiancee. So before he marries check out if u can submit to me. The husband u choose should be determined by your outlook in life.

Quote from babyosis
Do you know that most abused women were also abused during the engagement period and they think somehow,walking down an aisle would change the man or having a baby will fix it.
Some really sick shit happens. I had a cousin who used to beat up his girlfriend.
The girl once told me that if he had not beaten her in a long while she would be restless.
and would keep formenting trouble
She went on to say that make up sex is the best

Quote from Babyosisi
He is more likely to listen when there is no tension and believe me,he does what I asked most of the time.
Very true.

All these ladies sef!

When it comes to submission, they're all quick to shout "Hell no!", and that's when they remember that they are "strong independent women".  But when it comes to money spending, they're so quick to shout that it is a man's responsibility, and that they are only there to "support" (funny how they lower themselves this time around ), and any man who won't stand up to his responsibilities is an asshole that isn't worth being with at all; and they totally forget in this case that they are "strong independent women".


@babyosisi, me I like you o jare!  Please keep up the good spirit.

i think in a real marriage, with love, understanding, harmony and commitment where faithfulness is a must then the woman should submit to her king.


However in todays society where a man can only be trusted as far as you can see his d i c k i I THINK NOT.

Marriage is no game. I am submissive but definitely not a manipulator Expert or amateur, submission can
not be equaled to manipulation. Well, let me as least speak for my self. I cannot even manipulate my husband because he's not weak and he's definitely not a fool. I profit from submission, yes, but not for manipulation. But as a sign of love and respect for my husband and in obedience to my God and that is right!.

Only men who misunderstand what it the concept means try to misuse it to maltreat their wives. Sincere, kindhearted women will reap what the sow, by the grace of God find good husbands who wont suppress them.

I read an article today and I'll like to share it. It's long but very worth it. Enjoy!
http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/guest-articles/submission-and-love.html

Written by a man

layifioren:

I read an article today and I'll like to share it. It's long but very worth it. Enjoy!
http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/guest-articles/submission-and-love.html

great article.

@ Mamaput,
Are you married?

mamaput:

Written by a man

@ Mamaput,
How about the Bible that is from God; what does it say about this topic?

The bible is also written by men. Out of 66 books in the bible, none was written by a woman. No wonder.

goodguy:

". But when it comes to money spending, they're so quick to shout that it is a man's responsibility,

Are you not the same gnat that complained about stereotyping?

Seun:

The bible is also written by men. Out of 66 books in the bible, none was written by a woman. No wonder.

@ Seun
Nobody says you should believe in the Bible, it's your choice but if you believe in it and don't do what it says then you are a hypocrite. What are you wondering about?

btw layi, MamaPut is in her 40s, what a silly question

layiforen: I don't believe in the bible. I don't claim to believe in it. And this is not a Christian thread.

ThiefOfHearts:

between layi, MamaPut is in her 40s, what a silly question

ThiefofHeart,
I guess you've been living in "lala" world where there are no women in there 40's who are not married and by the way I did not say women that WERE married. Silly question my foot!

Like there's any thread on here that they wont turn into a Christian thread.

But when it comes to money spending, they're so quick to shout that it is a man's responsibility

Actually, it's the "submissive" types that behave like this. Also, one can't be forced to accept the "responsibility".

Exactly.

Seun:

layiforen: I don't believe in the bible. I don't claim to believe in it. And this is not a Christian thread.

@Seun,
That's your choice, but as a Christian, you can't mention marriage and submision and not talk about the Christian life and Bible. So BURGER KING bro (i.e HAVE IT YOUR WAY)

actually you CAN since only Christians get married

you can always tell a JJC by how corny their comments are. ugh