try69:

I don't just say shiiiit, I read before I say shiiiitt...gerit?

biolabee:

unfortunately u are the crappist
His post though long reflects the fact

they left the issue and focussed on kulyie... unnecessary

She is not anti marriage just that she would not be a Mrs for the fun of it
Some court short and have good marriages -- good for them
Some court long and have good marriages -- good for them
Some court short and have bad marriages -- good for them
Some court long and have bad marriages -- good for them

the koko is DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND BE READY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES ... chikena

Idowuogbo:
Abi o!!!! freedom of movement and speech. eni to ban binu aye ko lo po kun so.

Idowuogbo:
u wan shyte?

biolabee:

exactimento... thats what i said.. its a gang up

i and kulyie have our disagreements now and then but this one na set up haba!!!

Samabu07: I just realised some days ago that my two years and a month relationship is gone down the drain. My gf had multiple relationships with other guys. She told me she's gone with one of the guys. I have been faithful all through this years. I only take solace in the good I have done.
Its better to have broken relationships than a broken home.

Samabu07: I just realised some days ago that my two years and a month relationship is gone down the drain. My gf had multiple relationships with other guys. She told me she's gone with one of the guys. I have been faithful all through this years. I only take solace in the good I have done.
Its better to have broken relationships than a broken home.

Fussbot: wat is dis?

Samabu07: I just realised some days ago that my two years and a month relationship is gone down the drain. My gf had multiple relationships with other guys. She told me she's gone with one of the guys. I have been faithful all through this years. I only take solace in the good I have done.
Its better to have broken relationships than a broken home.

Samabu07: I just realised some days ago that my two years and a month relationship is gone down the drain. My gf had multiple relationships with other guys. She told me she's gone with one of the guys. I have been faithful all through this years. I only take solace in the good I have done.
Its better to have broken relationships than a broken home.

biolabee:

s.exbot.. u attacked kulyie on the ;=last thread on people buying food for dates and getting no view of pant and you are here again

which girl spent ur money mercilessly that u are picking on people here

yamunla: no be small tin bros,thank God NL is a faceless forum..dey for no gang up abuse her,na beating she for collect.."Kulyie is entitled to her opinion abeg oo"..

try69:

I don't just say shiiiit, I read before I say shiiiitt...gerit?

B/w, there is difference between a topic tag and the attack approach.

Idowuogbo:

ogabee, ignore d arindin abeg!

Idowuogbo: Preach bro! Preach!

nikkykay: Please let all the singles learn from this.
Thank you


THESE days my heart cries when I see individuals who are desperate to get married; who can do anything whatsoever to get that ring on their finger. A desperate person is someone who feels she has no hope and is ready to do anything to satisfy this burning need. I read the tale of woe of two individuals that will be getting married in a couple of months. I will call them Emeka and Lola (real names withheld). Lola is in her late 30s and her desire to find the right guy has gone from hopefully optimistic to desperation so much that after only three months of knowing Emeka, she’s decided to marry him. The thing about Emeka is that he is the complete opposite of Lola. She is obsessively neat; but Emeka never learns to clean up himself. She is an independent career woman; he has a chauvinistic streak a mile way. She manages her money well; but he buys based on what he wants rather than what he can afford…and the list goes on. They fight constantly to the point that it is uncomfortable to be around them. With the wedding only two months away, the only thing left to ask is “Why would she want to marry a man who is obviously incompatible with her?”

A female friend of mine also shared the story of a guy she met, who didn’t even ask her out, and blurted out suddenly “Please, marry me”. He didn’t hear her out, and started making plans for a wedding.

Individuals like this have an invisible signpost on their head with the inscription: “Will you marry me?” After a year or two into their wedding borne out of desperation to get married many men and women soon realise that they are miserable with their spouses. Yes, you are being pressured by friends and families to get married; pressures that make those family picnics and extended family events bitter experiences. That is not enough reason to rush to the altar. Anything done in desperation is usually as a result of a decision taken under pressure. The romance novels and movies showing quickie marriages and glamour often don’t show the reality of a couple’s life later in their journey together. No thanks to singles seminars which only promise participants swift marriages without teaching them how to go through due process in relationships.

According to Dr Angelis: “When you are feeling lonely or desperate, you are much likely to make poor love choices and end up in unfulfilling relationships”. Some people are so emotionally empty that they are desperate for anyone to marry. In the end, they end up in a painful relationship. The following are the signs of desperation which are not exhaustive.

Getting too attached too early: When you start getting attached to a person you just met and even saying “I love you” after a few dates, it’s a sign of desperation. You can make a clean break if you are involved with a needy, clingy and desperate person.

Having a profile listed with every single known dating site online: This is a serious clue that you are desperate. If your profile is on every dating site you come across, that is a red flag you must deal with.

Constantly buying gifts: Getting gifts is good, but when it becomes too much it loses its meaning and relevance. This is usually obtainable among men. The average dude believes he can use gifts to buy his way into a lady’s heart.

Wanting to meet the family too soon: “When am I meeting your people?” Is usually the question a desperate person asks. You should give much time before introducing family and other relatives to a suitor. If you are dealing with a person who is pushing to meet your family and you are barely dating two months that’s a red flag. Allow time to play its role in your relationship.

Dressing in attire that is provocative: This is a clear example of someone who is insecure. This is prevalent among women. If you come across this type of lady it’s time to move on to someone who is comfortable in her own body and doesn’t need to show off her cleavage to everyone she comes in contact with.

From a young age many of us have been taught that marriage is a rite of passage and you don’t become an adult or a woman until you get married. This social pressure, real or imagined, doesn’t make it true. You do not become a full fledged adult by getting married. Marriage doesn’t validate your adulthood; it only reflects your maturity. Dear friend, get off the desperation trap and let God’s will be done in your life. God’s time is still the best; He makes everything beautiful in His time.

By Kehinde Ajose, a talent development strategist, publicist, and blogger.

try69:

I did..even read the whole thread comments prior to urs..how bout that?

And don't say I didn't comprehend.. I did too

Ihedinobi:

Obviously, opposite does not necessarily mean incompatible. But what some critics here missed is that these two were not even looking to maximize the good things in their differences, rather they were stumbling all over and fighting over them. That alone meant thay neither was ready to be married.

The fact that the lady was more inclined to save and be smart with finances should have made her even more attractive and lovable by the man and the fact that the man was impulsive should have made him a breath of fresh air for her because what's the use of being so careful with your finances if you can't treat and reward yourself every now and then?

These two would have been compatible if they were really looking to get married not just to acquire a new status. So the argument against desperation still holds.



There is no such thing as spontaneity in choosing a mate. This is inexcusable, but that is not to say that it cannot and does not work. Every now and then a shot in the dark does hit its mark. That can never be read to mean that one should wait for the night to take a shot that is best taken when the sun is high and the eyes are sharp.

If I were the girl, I'd run. If I were the man, I'd hide my head in shame in some remote island for a year at least for pulling such an iddiotic stunt.

Now, it is very possible that because of strong experience one can tell in a very short time when they've found their mate, but that's only one side of the equation. What about the other guy or girl that you're proposing to or who should propose to you? Don't they deserve to make sure that they see what you see too?

I could meet the one I know I ought to be with for the rest of my life, but it would be very selfish of me to spring such a sudden decision on them before they've evaluated me and what being with me makes them.

So, here again, the argument against desperation stands.



And what is wrong with the above? I didn't hear any of our trigger-happy "proponents" (says who?) of marriage explain what is.



It doesn't mean you can't fall in love fast. It just means that you need to and should give your partner the chance to get to know you and how you fit. It's really a desperate person who digs their claws into their potential spouse like they're afraid they'll run from them.

And a desperate person is not looking to marry you particularly, they're not in love with you particularly. They're in love with being married and they'll marry a pole if it could put the ring on their finger.



Now why would anyone want to be on every dating site they know?



What human male has a real argument against this? When we men love, it's a war and we want to win and we'll use whatever works to win, but the guy who is fighting to win a woman he loves acts differently from the guy who's fighting to win a status he loves.

The guy after a woman who's got his heart is ssmart and kind. He takes his time to woo (note the nearly extinct word) her to him, that is, to attract her to him, to make himself a strongest option in her array of options. He works to encourage her to come to him of her own volition.

The guy after a ring and a status goes after the woman like a hound after rabbits. And hounds don't care for rabbits. They don't make a home for them and bring them food and warm them when they're cold etc, they kill them and not necessarily for food.

The true man will give gifts but he'll not hide behind them because he's confident not desperate and he's after a woman whom he believes has value and is aware of it and not desperate either.



It's too soon to meet the family when you haven't met me properly first. When we have got on the same page, then why in the world should we not run home to our parents to show who not what we've won for our efforts?



Where is this false?



Marriage is not a sign either that one's matured. It's a decision one makesin line with the purpose of their lives. I could be an adult, whivh is the same as saying that I'm mature, and still not be married. Marriage only counts with respect to the purpose of an individual's particular existence.

That said, social pressure does not define the purpose of any given person's life. That is defined by the Maker of the person. And when the Maker has defined it, it is the person's responsibility to make choices that align with that purspose.

tintingz:

Ihedinobi:

Now why should I not? I think you pretty much implied that I didn't address what they said. Is that true? Did I indeed fail to address what they said?

Ihedinobi:


Obviously, opposite does not necessarily mean incompatible. But what some critics here missed is that these two were not even looking to maximize the good things in their differences, rather they were stumbling all over and fighting over them. That alone meant thay neither was ready to be married.

---

Marriage is not a sign either that one's matured. It's a decision one makes in line with the purpose of their lives. I could be an adult, whivh is the same as saying that I'm mature, and still not be married. Marriage only counts with respect to the purpose of an individual's particular existence.

---

That said, social pressure does not define the purpose of any given person's life. That is defined by the Maker of the person. And when the Maker has defined it, it is the person's responsibility to make choices that align with that purpose.

Ihedinobi:

Obviously, opposite does not necessarily mean incompatible. But what some critics here missed is that these two were not even looking to maximize the good things in their differences, rather they were stumbling all over and fighting over them. That alone meant thay neither was ready to be married.

The fact that the lady was more inclined to save and be smart with finances should have made her even more attractive and lovable by the man and the fact that the man was impulsive should have made him a breath of fresh air for her because what's the use of being so careful with your finances if you can't treat and reward yourself every now and then?

These two would have been compatible if they were really looking to get married not just to acquire a new status. So the argument against desperation still holds.



There is no such thing as spontaneity in choosing a mate. This is inexcusable, but that is not to say that it cannot and does not work. Every now and then a shot in the dark does hit its mark. That can never be read to mean that one should wait for the night to take a shot that is best taken when the sun is high and the eyes are sharp.

If I were the girl, I'd run. If I were the man, I'd hide my head in shame in some remote island for a year at least for pulling such an iddiotic stunt.

Now, it is very possible that because of strong experience one can tell in a very short time when they've found their mate, but that's only one side of the equation. What about the other guy or girl that you're proposing to or who should propose to you? Don't they deserve to make sure that they see what you see too?

I could meet the one I know I ought to be with for the rest of my life, but it would be very selfish of me to spring such a sudden decision on them before they've evaluated me and what being with me makes them.

So, here again, the argument against desperation stands.



And what is wrong with the above? I didn't hear any of our trigger-happy "proponents" (says who?) of marriage explain what is.



It doesn't mean you can't fall in love fast. It just means that you need to and should give your partner the chance to get to know you and how you fit. It's really a desperate person who digs their claws into their potential spouse like they're afraid they'll run from them.

And a desperate person is not looking to marry you particularly, they're not in love with you particularly. They're in love with being married and they'll marry a pole if it could put the ring on their finger.



Now why would anyone want to be on every dating site they know?



What human male has a real argument against this? When we men love, it's a war and we want to win and we'll use whatever works to win, but the guy who is fighting to win a woman he loves acts differently from the guy who's fighting to win a status he loves.

The guy after a woman who's got his heart is ssmart and kind. He takes his time to woo (note the nearly extinct word) her to him, that is, to attract her to him, to make himself a strongest option in her array of options. He works to encourage her to come to him of her own volition.

The guy after a ring and a status goes after the woman like a hound after rabbits. And hounds don't care for rabbits. They don't make a home for them and bring them food and warm them when they're cold etc, they kill them and not necessarily for food.

The true man will give gifts but he'll not hide behind them because he's confident not desperate and he's after a woman whom he believes has value and is aware of it and not desperate either.



It's too soon to meet the family when you haven't met me properly first. When we have got on the same page, then why in the world should we not run home to our parents to show who not what we've won for our efforts?



Where is this false?



Marriage is not a sign either that one's matured. It's a decision one makesin line with the purpose of their lives. I could be an adult, whivh is the same as saying that I'm mature, and still not be married. Marriage only counts with respect to the purpose of an individual's particular existence.

That said, social pressure does not define the purpose of any given person's life. That is defined by the Maker of the person. And when the Maker has defined it, it is the person's responsibility to make choices that align with that purspose.

try69:

You may have done but might not have clearly understood where they are coming from.

And pls.. Start a blog if you don't av one..those are where epistles belong..like seriously

Ihedinobi:

Lol. Now why does someone enter a discussion that's supposed to be serious looking for entertainment for his boredom?

tintingz: your post make sense and at the same time it doesnt make sense... Balance the situation...

Ihedinobi:

And you and I are right here on this thread, but you didn't take advantage of that to explain more clearly to me what I may have been failing to misunderstand. Why exactly is that?

About the long posts, I do that when I'm addressing serious issues and to differentiate loud-mouthed people whose brains are meant to be carried not used from people who really have something of value to say.

tintingz: your post make sense and at the same time it doesnt make sense... Balance the situation...

Vikin:

Eeyah!

try69:


history and/or context awareness