I just want to know
nlanders opinion, if you can have a joint account with your spouse, and
why?

I have been thinking on dis issue 4 a yl naw, and i discover most pple,
even sum of my married fwends ar afraid of aving a joint account, some
say its 2 risky, some say it gives room 4 unwanted expenses, some says
its lyk cheating d oda partner who earns more, nd some says dey cant
trust d oda when it comes 2 money, some are very stingy, some says they
av financial plans in which a joint acct will be detrimental to.

Pls i need your honest opinions, most of our parents dont own a joint
acct, could it be dat we Nigerians ar stingy or unfaithful?

I think love covereth all things, so dia should be no excuse when love is involved! What do you think?

If I have free access to my husband's income as a non income earner,there is no way I ll have any difficulty having a joint account with him when I start earning . I mean,we have personal accounts but he uses all the accounts we both own,just as I keep the ATM's as his accountant .


Everything depends on the kind of man you married ,If you are married to a man that places much regard on material things,then having a joint account is not ideal.A greedy person is no one to have a joint account with,just know who you are married to,thats what determines if you can consider a joint account or not. Committed couples will barely think of who earns more or less,when there is trust everything works for good.

Money and love don't mix
Money is the source of many marital misunderstandings
Money is the cause of most bitter divorces and drawn out court battles
Money is the cause of most bitter sibling rivalry after the death of a parent,destroying families

I don't do joint accounts but joint projects
My parents don't run a joint account and I don't run one with my hubby either

If I were to advice a newly married woman that wants to do do a joint account,I would say keep your checking account in your name and put an agreed amount into a joint savings account.
That is the safer way to go.
But to put 100% of your salary into a joint account ?
With a man
A Nigerian man
Hehehehe
Not advisable

[quote
author=byvan]If I have free access to my husband's income as a non
income earner,there is no way I ll have any difficulty having a joint
account with him when I start earning . I mean,we have personal
accounts but he uses all the accounts we both own,just as I keep the
ATM's as his accountant .


Everything depends on the kind of man you married ,If you are married to
a man that places much regard on material things,then having a joint
account is not ideal.A greedy person is no one to have a joint account
with,just know who you are married to,thats what determines if you can
consider a joint account or not. Committed couples will barely think of
who earns more or less,when there is trust everything works for
good.[/quote]

lool @ his atm accountant....ladies nd atm sha, i tink dia is a gud understanding between u nd ur hubby which is good, not many ladies av dat!

babyosisi: Money
and love don't mix
Money is the source of many marital misunderstandings
Money is the cause of most bitter divorces and drawn out court battles
Money is the cause of most bitter sibling rivalry after the death of a
parent,destroying families

I don't do joint accounts but joint projects
My parents don't run a joint account and I don't run one with my hubby
either

If I were to advice a newly married woman that wants to do do a joint
account,I would say keep your checking account in your name and put an
agreed amount into a joint savings account.
That is the safer way to go.
But to put 100% of your salary into a joint account ?
With a man
A Nigerian man
Hehehehe
Not advisable

Babyosi i understand u against avin a joint account, and u gave a very good reason to illustrate y, but what i dont understand is y love nd money cant go 2geda, as in au can 2 pple claim 2 b in love, but dey ar not united when it comes 2 money! btw, my parents dont av one 2 nd i know some parents dat do not share same account! does it means dia ar limitations 2 love, cos ma bible did not say so, or it is a preventive measure?

Stegomiah:


Babyosi i understand u against avin a joint account, and u gave a very good reason to illustrate y, but what i dont understand is y love nd money cant go 2geda, as in au can 2 pple claim 2 b in love, but dey ar not united when it comes 2 money! btw, my parents dont av one 2 nd i know some parents dat do not share same account! does it means dia ar limitations 2 love, cos ma bible did not say so, or it is a preventive measure?

My dear,I am probably older than you and have seen more of the world than you
See the part of your post I highlighted,I am sure you consider your mom as wise,follow her footsteps,I followed the same thing my mother did.
They said the best way to learn is from the mistake of others and the second best way is from your own mistakes.
Have you heard of or witnessed loving brothers who grew up in the same family fight to the point of death sometimes over money and property
If brothers can get to the point f such hatred and resentment,why do you think a married couple couldn't get there.

Men by nature are very controlling
That is just the way God made them
They want to control everything around them and decide how everything must function
If you allow your whole salary into a joint account,you have given control to him too
You are answerable to any expenditure you make,his expenditures are not to be questioned,they are justifiable.

I know people will come out and say their husbands are saints and some men will say that they will never do such
Na lie
A woman will take permission to spend a large amount in that joint account justifying the expenditure to the man ,a man will just dig his hand in it and spend it and owes youn o explanation.
Most times his own contribution is more than yours anyway so who are you to question him.

I always had an account in my name from day one of marriage
It gives me freedom and I like freedom
I am not answerable to anyone on the things I choose to buy and the money I send to my folks
As long I fulfill my obligations in the home,everything I earn is mine
There are women who can't even send a kobo to their parents because the husband doesn't approve,imagine that
Begging someone for my own hard earned money?
I no fit.
There are women at the verge of divorce,whose husbands got into the joint account and cleared everything in it.

Love and money do not mix
Money has destroyed homes and relationships
They should be kept separately
Same reason that I don't lend money to people
I would rather give you an amount I can afford rather than lend anyone money.

Joint account for expenses and projects.But my income goes into MY current account and then I transfer into the expenses account.
I just like having access to my own money
Though there was a time hubby had access to my accounts (for a while) I needed it at the time was such a spendthrift.

@stego,people really understand marriage differently.I can't claim to love and yet still can't trust, if a man has proven worthy of running a joint account with you,why not.Money might be the cause of several marital conflict but it is something i ve not experienced.Greed has really been an infringement to good marital liason.If a man gives you his complete trust,i don't see why you can't do the same.


Every marriage is unique,they don't operate on the same platform.

byvan: @stego,people really understand marriage differently.I can't claim to love and yet still can't trust, if a man has proven worthy of running a joint account with you,why not.Money might be the cause of several marital conflict but it is something i ve not experienced.Greed has really been an infringement to good marital liason.If a man gives you his complete trust,i don't see why you can't do the same.


Every marriage is unique,they don't operate on the same platform.

You described yourself as a non income earner
After you start earning an income, and placed same in a joint account then you can talk about a joint account not before
Not to put you down

damiso: Joint account for expenses and projects.But my income goes into MY current account and then I transfer into the expenses account.
I just like having access to my own money
Though there was a time hubby had access to my accounts (for a while) I needed it at the time was such a spendthrift.

Gbam!!
I have given hubby my card numerous times to get money out of my savings for projects etc
But my salary has never gone into no joint accounts
Mba kwa
For love's sake

babyosisi:

You described yourself as a non income earner
After you start earning an income, and placed same in a joint account then you can talk about a joint account not before
Not to put you down

You can't put me down,no one can.Be the matured woman that you are and kindly state your personal opinion, just as am stating mine without countering yours.Earning income doesn't make you any wiser neither do not earning make you more foolish,just stick to your opinion please.

byvan:



You can't put me down,no one can.Be the matured woman that you are and kindly state your personal opinion, just as am stating mine without countering yours.Earning income doesn't make you any wiser neither do not earning make you any foolish,just stick to your opinion please.

Why are you not earning an income by the way
That is a recipe for disaster in marriage my dear
You need a job and fast
Just a friendly advise from my amateur marriage counseling experiences
The era of stay at home mom is over
Every married woman needs to be working and earning a living even if part time
you need it for your own self accomplishment sake
or one day you may be reminded either by words or circumstances that you are not contributing anything to the family ( nobody will remember the babies you nursed and the food you cooked)
That is just the plain reality

If you don't understand me today,you will some day.

babyosisi:

Why are you not earning an income by the way
That is a recipe for disaster in marriage my dear
You need a job and fast
Just a friendly advise from my amateur marriage counseling experiences
The era of stay at home mom is over
Every married woman needs to be working and earning a living if part time or one day you may be reminded that you are not contributing anything to the family ( nobody will remember the babies you nursed)
That is just the plain reality

If you don't understand me today,you will some day.

Sorry,am not as old as you are yet.Am still a serving corper or do you have a job for serving corpers?The constituents that ll pose a disaster for your marriage is different from what ll pose a disaster to another woman's marriage.You said something about a man trying to control everything,do you really believe that every man has the time to start calculating what you did or did not do with your money?Once a woman keeps her monetary activities within the limits of a sane person,do you really think a husband will have such time?


Each individual's experience is unique, why can't you understand that one size cannot fit all?Who doesn't know that the era of stay at home mum is over?Just know that being a working class mum doesn't stop a marriage from being less catastrophic, if it is bound to fail.The fact that our mothers handled their marriages a certain way, doesn't make it the best and only way.

There is no one size fits all for marriage.Some couples might work ok with income going into same account.Some people are not even comfortable with joint project sef.
As long as the bills are met and no one is stressing the other, me am fine and peachy.

As @ d time of opening dis thread, i share d same view as byvan, i bliv couples should av a joint account, because trust nd understanding should not b a problem, wen u love sm1, but babyosi as xplained nd given enuf reasons y i should av a rethink, seriously i must say am confused aldo i still av a lng way 2 go.

how i wish u can marry ur exact replica, but pple are not same, we ar meant 2 complement d oda, as regards ma parents, i see it as a mistake, aldo seriously dey hardly quarel, dey av a almost perfect marriage, nd d love is still dia, but dat is one tin/general mentality i tink should b corrected. btw babyosi, do u earn more dan ur hubby? cos i guess u do, but seriously guyz, so far av learnt alot 4rm dis thread, nd we should see it as a debate, mayb i'll go wif avin both, lyk sm1 earlier stated.

Stegomiah: As @ d time of opening dis thread, i share d same view as byvan, i bliv couples should av a joint account, because trust nd understanding should not b a problem, wen u love sm1, but babyosi as xplained nd given enuf reasons y i should av a rethink, seriously i must say am confused aldo i still av a lng way 2 go.

how i wish u can marry ur exact replica, but pple are not same, we ar meant 2 complement d oda, as regards ma parents, i see it as a mistake, aldo seriously dey hardly quarel, dey av a almost perfect marriage, nd d love is still dia, but dat is one tin/general mentality i tink should b corrected. btw babyosi, do u earn more dan ur hubby? cos i guess u do, but seriously guyz, so far av learnt alot 4rm dis thread, nd we should see it as a debate, mayb i'll go wif avin both, lyk sm1 earlier stated.

The person you married will forge how you feel about this issue,if you are married to a man that wants to control everything and answers to non like babyosisi said please don't do it.

byvan:

The person you married will forge how you feel about this issue,if you are married to a man that wants to control everything and answers to non like babyosisi said please don't do it.

This.In other words know your Man (and vice versa cos I also know some women have been the cause of their husbands financial ruin).

[quote
author=damiso]
This.In other words know your Man (and vice versa cos I also know some
women have been the cause of their husbands financial ruin).[/quote]


hmmn, so true! 'bhind every successful Man is a Woman'
patience jonathan included, lool

i dont have a joint account with my hubby but we operate a joint account in my home

feminine A: i dont have a joint account with my hubby but we operate a joint account in my home

):

OP , you said something bout ( It'll be nice) marrying your replica, you must've been one holier than thou then so you wanna tell me sometimes you never feel like indulging your self and lavish some extra dough?

It depends on individual tho , I don't see myself accounting for my spending esp if I go over budget all because I want to be faithful... and yes we've been together for a very long time so NO I didn't marry a stranger

I have many examples , I've seen money cause problems in many homes, hubby maxed out the joint credit card and the wife wasn't very happy da da da resentment begins.. he's not considerate, she's a nag , they drift apart gradually, trust and love is fading & everything goes downhill all cos of MONEY??

Life's too short Abeg. I'd rather prevent making mountain outta molehill .... there's more to life.

Hey that's my opinion ... Whatever works for you


Speaking of spending .... how on earth am I gonna live with myself spending that much on a Birkin?? ( I need to see a financial advisor) I hope they have a safe deposit box that fits

jidegirl12: OP , you said something bout ( It'll be nice) marrying your replica, you must've been one holier than thou then so you wanna tell me sometimes you never feel like indulging your self and lavish some extra dough?

It depends on individual tho , I don't see myself accounting for my spending esp if I go over budget all because I want to be faithful... and yes we've been together for a very long time so NO I didn't marry a stranger

I have many examples , I've seen money cause problems in many homes, hubby maxed out the joint credit card and the wife wasn't very happy da da da resentment begins.. he's not considerate, she's a nag , they drift apart gradually, trust and love is fading & everything goes downhill all cos of MONEY??

Life's too short Abeg. I'd rather prevent making mountain outta molehill .... there's more to life.

Hey that's my opinion ... Whatever works for you


Speaking of spending .... how on earth am I gonna live with myself spending that much on a Birkin?? ( I need to see a financial advisor) I hope they have a safe deposit box that fits

I wanna be like you when I grow up Have been dreaming birkin for ages.Isokay O I will get there.

But seriously it boils down to the individuals involved.Me even ontop all my husbands financial advisor moves,he still handed me back my cards cos he said am not a kid therefore I need to learn financial responsibility.You should have seen the lecture.He said him taking charge might not necessarily teach me to stop buy buy its discpline that I need to imbibe.He is even less of a fan of the whole income going into one pot (maybe cos he earns more for now sha cos watch out I dey come) as he thinks adults have to have some sort of personal responsiblity of how they spend.

.As babyosisi said, he was still gisting me of a friend who brought his wife from Naija and they pay her salary into his account.Not joint o, his account.He does not allow her send money to her people all in the name of he knows how much he spent to bring her over.Very bush man I tell ya.Hubby told him that he was being unfair to her as she is not a child and he took offence.

Yes, for communal expenses, like mortgage/rent/house building(if it is for both of us), school fees, bills and other miscellaneous expenses. Especially travel. As long as we are both signatories to the account, no problem on my end. I still maintain my own account on the side sha.

Billions of Naira are trapped in many banks in Nigeria, and other parts of the world, WHY? lack of taking advantage of joint account, not only with your spouse, but your sisters or brothers.
Let me explain, i a joint account based on home keeping, which can be access when needs arise at home, joint account based on future family project, joint account based on my business account, always any can sign.
See if i drop dead now, my wife or any of my brother whom i have joint account can walk make use of the account.

^^ mr I indigene tell that to the villagers and illiterates. Btw what bank in Nigeria decided to keep mute instead of calling the contact on the accounts records?? Abi they don't have any records of their clients in their systems?? In other words they are not banks, they are thieves!! Bunch of 419s.

@Dami , be like me ke? I think we are on thesame boat on this one. I will stick to my LVs, Tommys, Gucci, Fendi under 2k I'd rather rent Birkin for $1k/week than spend 10k with lower second hand value... Tufia

We don't hv joint a/c. Everybody to ur own.hubby hv passion for some things I would hv kicked at had it been we operate a joint a/c.we know our financial obligation to d house and we do it very well.we hv our diff savins a/cs.how I spend my money is not his bis and vis-versa.
It was recently that he gat to know one of my card's security numbers and it was under duress!I don't know any of his and not ready to know.I'm not so bothered anyway.
But like byvan said,u go for what works for ur family.after all we always want to do what makes us happy.so if seperate or joint make u guys happy,pls ride on.

[quote

author=jidegirl12]OP , you said something bout ( It'll be nice)
marrying your replica, you must've been one holier than thou then so
you wanna tell me sometimes you never feel like indulging your self and
lavish some extra dough?

It depends on individual tho , I don't see myself accounting for my
spending esp if I go over budget all because I want to be faithful...
and yes we've been together for a very long time so NO I didn't marry a
stranger

I have many examples , I've seen money cause problems in many homes,
hubby maxed out the joint credit card and the wife wasn't very happy da
da da resentment begins.. he's not considerate, she's a nag , they drift
apart gradually, trust and love is fading & everything goes
downhill all cos of MONEY??

Life's too short Abeg. I'd rather prevent making mountain outta molehill
.... there's more to life.

Hey that's my opinion ... Whatever works for you


Speaking of spending .... how on earth am I gonna live with myself
spending that much on a Birkin?? ( I need to see a financial advisor) I
hope they have a safe deposit box that fits [/quote]



sumtimes u dont av 2 b hasty to judge pple. Marrying my exact replica i
said does not rlate to what u typed, no one understands u beta dan u do,
dia wont be any misunderstanding, and u ar responsible for all ur
actions, if u lyk spend lavishly, if u lyk save, it does not mata, u
suffer or enjoy d consequences of ur actions. But avin a different
peson, he will definately not always tink d way u do, nd not subscribe
to ur financial actions all d time. guess u understand beta now!

You need both a Joint account for joint expenses in the household

And a separate account for your individual needs

Like many people have said, there's no one-cap-fits-all in this issue. I operate a joint account meant for family projects with my hubby while having personal accounts on the side.

I know of a couple that doesn't have a joint account and may never try it. Infact, the wife has access to her husband's account and determines how their salaries are spent. The husband is cool with it because he spends anyhow, he sees his wife as his saviour.

In other words, do what u believe is best for your family.

Off-topic, can I start using my husband's surname after doing the 'change of name' stuff in the dailies? Or is there any other thing I have to do? How do I present my certificates now that my surname has changed? Thank you.

indigene: Billions of Naira are trapped in many banks in Nigeria, and other parts of the world, WHY? lack of taking advantage of joint account, not only with your spouse, but your sisters or brothers.

I think it's more due lack of keeping an updated will or at least leaving records of all their coded bank accounts where it can be accessible after death.

No Qualms: Like many people have said, there's no one-cap-fits-all in this issue. I operate a joint account meant for family projects with my hubby while having personal accounts on the side.

I know of a couple that doesn't have a joint account and may never try it. Infact, the wife has access to her husband's account and determines how their salaries are spent. The husband is cool with it because he spends anyhow, he sees his wife as his saviour.

In other words, do what u believe is best for your family.

Off-topic, can I start using my husband's surname after doing the 'change of name' stuff in the dailies? Or is there any other thing I have to do? How do I present my certificates now that my surname has changed? Thank you.

Regarding your name, yes you can because the advert goes this way, all former documents remains valid.
But for your name change to be properly legit, you need to obtain a high court affidavit to same matter,will probably cost you 1k

indigene:

Regarding your name, yes you can because the advert goes this way, all former documents remains valid.
But for your name change to be properly legit, you need to obtain a high court affidavit to same matter,will probably cost you 1k

Thank you. I will go obtain the affidavit.