anitank:

its something to be proud of because being a mum proves that u're a real woman

kokoye:

All I did was ask a question.

I never said anything about about it. I have a sister who is a single mom as well..but she wouldnt be if she had her way. But things happen. And I support her in everyway.

You are the one who needs to calm down and stop being emotional about it.

babyosisi:

Your question was a stupeed one then
Why ask if single motherhood was something to be proud if when you know there are many ways one can become single
Should people go and hide and be ashamed of themselves because they are single mothers?
Your sister is a single mother you say,is she less of a parent because she is a single mother?

kokoye: Is this now something to be proud of?

Nna meeennn ...na wah o

ekwah:


All I did was just state the fact the way it is. Who am I to play God?
A = Being a single mum
b = Being close to God
A and B => abstinence from sex unless one is re-married - a thing that's obviously almost impossible!!


OP's suggestion of they 'being close to God' doesn't sound practical to me at all for very obvious reasons. You didn't answer my question.

Shout out to all them single mums though, dem strong.

babyosisi:

This is your post above
If you feel differently about it now go and modify it rather than pretending that I am making up stuff
You haven't said anything bad about single moms
Indeed!!

kokoye:

You chose to read meanings into it. I dont have any control over that.

And since I made that comment..have I said anything else that you deem negative?

You just choose to hold on to whatever fuels your anger...I have no control over that as well.

Good luck and God bless.

kokoye: ^^^

I updated my last post...read it if you want and maybe then you will see the reason behind my comment.

You need to control your emotions...we are having a conversation and learning in the process.

You dont know who I am and vice versa. I have not for once said anything negative to YOU. Think about that.

yellowpawpaw: Op,u did well by posting this. Single parenting(women) is very stressful on its own coupled with d image it has in naija.
Assuming there is a way we can know,some of us here claiming holy hv either abandoned a pregnant galfriend to her fate or hv kids outside wedlock but of course in NL everybody is perfect and without dent.throut their family history nobody hv done such.its a taboo.
In every two or three houses especially public house,u must c one out of wedlock child. Some mums tend to direct their frustration to their kids.
Pls if there is one around u,kindly be good to her.she is passin tru a lot and pls can we stop d preaching.an adage in my place says"all dogs eat shi*t but u will always call d one u saw shi*t on its mouth shi*t eater"

9jamum: What’s the single most difficult aspect of single parenting? I know, we all have our different answers as the individual challenges differs from state to state and country to country. I complete agree with the fact that a role meant for two mates now belongs to an individual is enough to break one down with enough stress to last a life time.

However, despite what you read from the media and hear, being a single mother is not all bad news. To encourage our beautiful strong single mothers out there are these tips to becoming a great single mum help ease through the journey.

1.Maintain a relationship with God.
Whatever your religious inclination, talking to your God through prayers and reading your Holy Bible, Quran etc will only require a few minutes or hour of your time in the day. Doing this will refresh your soul, give you inner peace and renewal, hope, especially if you are facing different challenges.

2. Seek out role models:
Single mums and her child(ren) can flourish. The first step is to make a list of other single mums or children raised by single mums who inspire you and refer to it as whenever they are going through a difficult day. The world is amazed how Obama turned out good from such a background.

3. Find a work schedule that suits your life style and family.
Do not be afraid to express your needs to your employers by telling him or her you are a single mum / parent. Most of them will understand and assist you in getting a flexible work schedule.

4. Do not freak out over things beyond your control –  if your child’s father promises to show up unannounced during an event at your child’s school. Do not loose your beauty sleep over it. That’s his wahala not yours!
5. Do make out a ‘me – time”.
Being a single mum is hard work, so you deserve time off every now and then. When you create free time for yourself, you can enjoy going to the salon or spending time with friends after having left your child(ren) in the capable hands of either a baby sitter,  another single mum friend or neighbour.

6. Be yourself.
Do not compete with yourself. This is because, nobody is keeping scores on the unmade beds, unclean breakfast dishes and toys scattered about on some chaotic morning. Please, focus on doing the most important things to avoid lateness for you and your child (dren). These include bathing, getting dresses, having breakfast and leaving for school/ work for both you and the child(ren). You can always get back to doing these chores later.

Finally, this tend to reduce or completely take the pressure off you whilst spending more quality time with your child (ren).


www.singlenaijamum.com

SniperInADiaper: Im a damn good single mother and not ashamed of it.

SniperInADiaper: Im a damn good single mother and not ashamed of it.

Truckpusher: hey!.I'll always be by your side
..haters can go to hell,I don't give a fucck abt em

slimyem:

Its a reality. Single mothers are all over the place thanks to many useless sp£rm donors.

Originalsly: Too many sperm banks fighting for sperm donors. @moderator....why was my earlier post hidden? Is it because I pushed against this your feminist agenda?

slimyem: What are you the fvcking?
If there can be "Tips to be a good wife/husband"
Or "Tips to have a successful family", what's wrong with this?

Its a reality. Single mothers are all over the place thanks to many useless sp£rm donors. Anything to ease their lives and that of their child/children should be welcome!

SniperInADiaper:

Being a strong single mum has nothing to do with feminism.

1k001: The best place to be for everyone is a loving stable family with father and mother.
Unfortunately this isnt always possible for a variety of reasons. All one can do is make the best of the situation
Respect to all the single mothers but remember that all children need a responsible father figure. The kids will do better when such a figuure is available than otherwise

Originalsly: Hmmm...is this how you redeem yourself from the mistake of being a baby momma? Being a single parent is not something to be proud of.Parents should be role models to their children...don't you think? Why find other people to be role models? This is confirming that you yourself believe you are not a good enough parent for your child. So why advise others? If your child is a boy growing up under all your female role models how will he grow up to be a man? Is this not setting the foundation for him to be one of those hmmm...effeminate men? Then making time for yourself by dumping your child off at whoever...is that not typical baby momma mentality? Why would you be surprised if your child follows in your footsteps? We have to be careful of people like you who seek to dilute then destroy African family values.

Originalsly: What exactly is meant by a strong single mom? There are many single moms because of very poor decisions on their part ...many because of circumstances like divorce and death. Despite the cause the tips given here are almost entirely based on raising the child surrounded by women and that's what makes it feminist.How can that mom ever be a great mom if she allows her child to grow up without a father figure? If a boy...how would he grow up to be a man? If a girl how would she grow up to relate well with men? You feel me?

99cent: Here is the link to the story of a Nigerian single mom in UK who singlehandedly raised SEVEN kids ( 4 of them are QUADRUPLETS) successfully that they all got into top universities in London and there are doctors, lawyers among them. The story was carried by a british newspaper. She's definitely a supermom. many married women cannot even accomplish such a feat.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1046028/Its-live-HOW-live-says-sink-estate-single-mum-quadruplets-got-universities.html#ixzz2W3k2go9k

It takes determination and hard work but do-able. Yes, having a supportive husband is ideal. but life in unpredictable and can turn out in ways that are unexpected.

some-girl:


Don't be silly.
What are widows and divorced women with children called?
Why do you automatically associate single motherhood with promiscuity?
Do you not know that women who are truly promiscuous are "smart" enough to ensure they never become single mothers?
You are in no position to judge another.