Tgirl4real:
It takes wisdom and understanding for the 2 to live in peace and harmony. If the man isn't a lazy bum, the wife should remain submissive. She shouldn't let the present situation of things get to her head. And she should continue to encourage her hubby in ways they can increase their finances.

Also, she should not constantly remind the man that she is the one footing most of the bills. He knows this already.

Family and friends should not know how you run your home.

The hubby on the other hand also need to be loving and appreciative of his wife's effort. He shouldn't let the present situation frustrate him into seeing his wife as a threat. Cos when the wife spends more, the man usually feels threatened.

He should also intensify effort into getting something more productive to do. He shouldn't relax, allowing his wife carry all their financial burden.

He should also try to support no matter how little. With this, the wife will know it's the situation and not that he wants to be a pest.

Sums it up for me but the bolded is where most marriages tends to have issues. As a man too you don't have to keep reminding your wife that you pay all the bills. She knows so its not necessary to be reciting like an anthem all the time.

your grammar is disappointing.. You perhaps did not take time to pick the bugs.. [/b]

I don't see any big deal in it.

Seriously Nigerians need to breakout from their usual tradition and re-adapt. Its not working well anymore cos things are changing.
The big problem here is that women are not sticking to tradition anymore, while men are still sticking to the tradition. Its either women go back to tradition or men breakaway from the tradition and redefine things for themselves and women too.

It's normal, but will continue to make headline because of the perception of woman. She believes in one man one woman, man and woman are equal but not equal when it comes to financial responsibilities.

The 2 might co exist very well depending on how dey operate or run their home. Its difficult no mata if they co exist or not cos a real man would always want to provide sometin even if she earns more. Am presently facing such situation cos for 5 months my wife been providing and even though we had savings before I stopped working I still feel am letting my family down, she has been supportive which was d major reason I got married to her and we both operate a joint account ever since we got married and she is d chief accountant. So it depends on ur partner but no mata d situation a man who loves his family so much will feel he is not doing wat he is expected to do as a husband and a fada and cos of dis pressure probs might arise.

shymexx: This is definitely not an ideal situation. Any man that finds himself in this scenario needs to be thick-skinned because the woman will make life unbearable for him. She won't respect him as a man regardless of the feelings and how emotional attached she's to the man.

I don't wish this on my worst enemy, to be honest. Give woman power and she'll abuse it.

I think you need to drop this kinda thinking...there are so many women who are contradictions to what you think is a norm...
Bottomline: shine your eyes when you wanna pick the woman

yellowpawpaw: Unless d wife is not a responsible one,normal family life continues.
I know of a lady in shell,PH.d hubby was somewhere in anambra working too.hubby has to stop cos her own was juicier than his.they tot that he can easily get work in PH with her connection.one month,one year,two yrs.in b/w a car,two cars and a plot of land.we knew cos we were close to them.this man is such a very neat man so he is always cooking,arrangin d house and washing.one day we saw d man dryin some private stuff.we joked with it and d lady told d hubby"shebi I told u to stop all these,u r really embarasin me and pple will think I send u work"
She has to fight seriously to secure a contract job for him.d woman don't know how to drive when she bot d first car.she learn with d 2nd.I learnt a lot from her.
it only requires an understandin man and woman.period.

Looks like super-story!

If your wife earns more than you and both of you are Nigerians, my brother na sorry go be your middle name and you'll be like the man in this picture.

tragically true...

shymexx: This is definitely not an ideal situation. Any man that finds himself in this scenario needs to be thick-skinned because the woman will make life unbearable for him. She won't respect him as a man regardless of the feelings and how emotionally attached she's to the man.

I don't wish this on my worst enemy, to be honest. Give woman power and she'll abuse it.

idnoble135: okaylife goes on, if the lady loves her spouse, it wont make much difference as if he were working. But to be sincere, only few ladies have the character of still remaining humble if this kind of incidence happens. The wife must have at the back of her skull that things wont remain like this forever. So she better behave and have the consciousness that tables can turn.

If you don't make as much,I hope you have muscles to pound it the way I like it,yam I mean

The ugu is still waiting to be plucked and sliced
Junior's diapers need to be changed afterwards
A basket of laundry awaits too
Whatever you don't make in money,you must compensate by house duties
You gat to show your manhood in other ways
Shikena

One plus one is equal to one. Soooooo

shymexx:

Spot on @ the bolded.

But I'd rather just elope and go sort myself out; then let any woman do my duties in the family.

my dear,it made my hubby and his siblings to sit up.my husband has sworn that he'l not be alive and watch me taker over his responsibilities as a man. He always quotes d verse in d bible dat says a man who cannot take care of his family is worse than an infidel.he works round the clock to give d kids and i what his pop never gave them and their mum

Seriously now,I don't think it is a good place for a man to be permanently.
men measure their worth by their ability to take care of the home and where a woman takes over that role,the man would feel diminished.
Any actions the woman takes will be interpreted to be because she has the money.
Ask women who are nurses in America and most earn more than their husbands and the houses and cars are bought by them
Their divorce rate is also higher and almost all the wives killed by Nigerian men in America have been nurses
There is this general idea here that nigerian nurses make the worst wives
That is not true
The truth is that the man feels inferior to his wife and the wife feels that she should not be controlled by a man she is housing and feeding.

A wise woman can make it work however,but it is still not easy on the man
I was working when my husband quit his job and went back to get a PhD from a prestigious institution,and I was the main bread winner for those few years( he got a small stipend)
I believe we handled it well but deep down I know it was not palatable to him because money was tight and he couldn't help the situation.
But we both knew it was temporary and for our ultimate good so we tightened our belt and drank garri for those years
I Thank God and God alone for rewarding his efforts with success.

^^^ better post from you babyosisi.. phew

biolabee: ^^^ better post from you babyosisi.. phew

Lol
Just that my silliness no dey gree me

effisyman: Husbands generally are expected to be responsible for the family upkeep, feeding,school fees, clothing and Rents to mention a few.

But, in a situation where the wife shoulder most of this responsibilities if not all, Maybe due to the fact that she earns more or her business brings more profit.

Men generally may not be comfortable with these,as exerting your powers as the man of the house may be jeopardise, and the woman may also be full of ego and pride.

How do one cope or behave if you are in these situation?

I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I shoulder all or most of the responsibility for life
I would want my man's self confidence intact
I would want him to stand in the congregation of his fellow men to point and speak with boldness and authority

I dont see this as a big deal provided she is submissive and discharge her duties duely irrespective of her financial status. Also I will ensure to discharge my obligations duely e.g. Feeding, clothing and provide 4 her shelter and other sundary needs.

One of the most sensible threads on Nairaland
A THOUSAND LIKES

She's a part of me for heaven's sake. All that matters is our common goal. As long as she's doesn't stop being my 'wife', then i all will be well.

Pray and work hard to become the head and
not the tail. There is no short cut to it.

He who pays the piper, dictates the tune.

Period! Except you are lucky to marry
God-sent and God-fearing woman.

I honestly don't have probs with my wife earning more o........as long as am equally earning something!!
Where the whala go dey is if am without a job (God 4bid ), and she alone is bringing in all d funds. That's a situation I can never let myself get comfortable in!! Na to work twice as hard be dat!
She can earn a gazillion, but with d little I get, I must provide for the house ni.
Bottom line is that a lot depends on the dynamism of the couple.
Any man that doesn't like the status quo should J̶̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊S̤̥̈̊τ̲̣̣̥ ...eh work harder nah

But some women sef no dey try....give them an inch, and they take a kilometer!

In my organization most of the single ladies take home a minimum of 200,000 naira monthly, go to banks the same thing is obtainable. It will therefore be very difficult for this ladies to say they will marry men who are richer than them except they want to marry their colleagues which is also not allowed. I personally earn more than my man but it has never been an issue. He works very hard as a construction engineer and still gives me monthly allowance for the upkeep of the family. I keep my money but also contribute greatly to family projects. Who contributes more has never been an issue because I know I am just privileged to be working where I am. By the way I got the job while married to him. I performs my duties as a wife and mother perfectly and my husband sees me as a gift from above. My advice to ladies who earn more than their men is that they should not let the present situation get into their heads as the tables can turn around tomorrow.

better not to be in that spot, women will always be women,let the situation push you to earn more. typically, if she doesn't have reasons to look up to you,she starts d attitude tin.

God, please help my wife to earn much but help me to earn more.

yellowpawpaw:
I gat u its not easy at all.how ever they managed it,I duf my kap 4 them.they try o.and d lady is igbo

I know why you mentioned her tribe but tribe has got nothing to do with it, the immediate family, maybe.

Tgirl4real: It takes wisdom and understanding for the 2 to live in peace and harmony. If the man isn't a lazy bum, the wife should remain submissive. She shouldn't let the present situation of things get to her head. And she should continue to encourage her hubby in ways they can increase their finances.

Also, she should not constantly remind the man that she is the one footing most of the bills. He knows this already.

Family and friends should not know how you run your home.

The hubby on the other hand also need to be loving and appreciative of his wife's effort. He shouldn't let the present situation frustrate him into seeing his wife as a threat. Cos when the wife spends more, the man usually feels threatened.

He should also intensify effort into getting something more productive to do. UiuHe shouldn't relax, allowing his wife carry all their financial burden.

He should also try to support no matter how little. With this, the wife will know it's the situation and not that he wants to be a pest.

u av said it all

The world is now liberal, gone are those days when women use to stay at home to take care of children. Once a woman is educated, there is every possibility that she gets a good job and there is no law that say the man must earn more when the both start woman. The woman might just be better favored out there. Maintaining the right attitude is just what should count .

MAN IS MAN... A COLEUGE (FEMALE) OF MINE DO SAY MY MONEY MY MONEY HIS MONEY OUR MONEY.....

LIKE ITS BETTER THE MAN BE THE ONE SPENDING... BUT IF THE WIFE CONTRIBUTE LIKE... WHERE IS THE LAST ELECTRIC BILL THE the wife say i have cleared it... that would be a good one... Not the wife waiting for the man to ask..

Nice experience
Like those words I am privileged to be where I am-- shows humility irrespective of your gender
And that is the key - humility

Thanks for sharing

toofine765: In my organization most of the single ladies take home a minimum of 200,000 naira monthly, go to banks the same thing is obtainable. It will therefore be very difficult for this ladies to say they will marry men who are richer than them except they want to marry their colleagues which is also not allowed. I personally earn more than my man but it has never been an issue. He works very hard as a construction engineer and still gives me monthly allowance for the upkeep of the family. I keep my money but also contribute greatly to family projects. Who contributes more has never been an issue because I know I am just privileged to be working where I am. By the way I got the job while married to him. I performs my duties as a wife and mother perfectly and my husband sees me as a gift from above. My advice to ladies who earn more than their men is that they should not let the present situation get into their heads as the tables can turn around tomorrow.

There should not be any problem here except for people/men with superiority complex.

I dont think a man is supposed to go and marry a woman that is richer than him.

But if it happens after marriage by him losing his job, etc then, she has to be a good woman

Several factors make a play here.



The characters of personalities here.
Is she domineering in nature??
Does he take responsibility for his action or in-action

Relationship history.....
Has he always earned less or not-at-all ? ??
In the event of the woman earning more perennially or preceding the onset of the relationship, chances are, there will always be friction, except one party is very understanding and displays a great deal of maturity!!!

What precedents have been set previously??


What role models/ mentors have they as a couple??


eg A woman from a home led by the Warrior Mother may be inclined to run the household with an iron fist, regardless of earning power.
A very mildly mannered introverted husband will get his a,rse whipped severally till he muscles up.... then a breakdown is irreparable..

.