greatgod2012: @soraya

Sometimes, its like that, you just depressed when you engage in thorough thinking about life, it happened to me this morning, I locked myself inside the room, I didn't want to talk to anyone, not even my hubby, but after a while, I discovered that it wasn't good for me, so I beckoned on my kids to come play with me, after which we went out together and that was the end.
So, when you feel depressed, ensure you are in the company of other people, if there's nobody at home, take a walk or betterstill, go visiting some people, by the time you find yourself with people, the depression will disappear, but it depend on you, you have to be determined that you have to conquer the situation, remember, when there is a wish, there is always a way. There is light after the tunnel. Don't give up, it is well.

True words, hope you feel better

ibkaye:
True words, hope you feel better

Thanks, I'm fine now. It was just for about 30 mins and everything was ok.

greatgod.. I do understand your assertions and great advice you gave there but sometimes depressing feelings are not just triggered by a sudden action they are sometimes a result of months or even years of pent up sorrow and sadness. Give for example someone who's been rewriting an exam many times without success... If that person feels depressed about such a situation and takes a walk or goes outing. This will not take the sorrow or problems away. We have just been able to postpone such problems till another day.They return back to the same problems they took a break from.
What i will just advise her is to get in here and explain better what she is passing through so that peeps can understand her predicament and be able to help her better.

@soroya. No condition is permanent. Anything that happens has a reason. Take the positives out of every situation. There is always light at the end of a tunnel no matter how dark or grim it looks now.

.

...

@soraya, never accept any negative words anyone is uttering concerning your life, they are not the one that created you, the One who created you says, you are created in His image, that is, you possess the likeness of Him and that you are wonderfully and fearfully made by His, so how can you agree with an ordinary person who is not your creator that you are ugly, no, you are not, you are handsome and beautifully made. Soraya, never accept failure from anyone, you are responsible for your happiness, create one for yourself, always move with positive oriented people, who will always inspire your life and who will appreciate you the way you are. When anyone ugly call you ugly, tell the person that he's jealous of you because you are more handsome than him.always remember that you are God's image and that you are wonderfully made.
Do away with self pity and self condemnation and it shall be well.

As for you not getting married when others have already done that, remember that, there is time for everything, and that God has made everything beautiful in its appointed time, your own time is coming, even far approaching than you can imagine. When it is time, everything will just happen like a miracle. However, you won't have to stay in a place, you will have to take action, always be in the midst of people, and believe in yourself that you can get what you want, if you put your mind there. You need to be strong for yourself. Not everyone is finding it easy, what people do is to fight for themselves and at the end of the day, you will discover that its worth it.
As for job, my brother, we all know the economic condition of our country, so, you don't have to stay at home sitting, find something doing pending the time you will secure a job, no matter how small, do not despise small beginning, before you know it, you might not need to look for job again. I will also encourage you to be visiting vacancy section of this forum, some people have been able to get job through this forum.
NEVER ACCEPT FAILURE FROM ANYONE. YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. CALL YOURSELF SUCCESS AND YOU SHALL BE SUCCESSFUL.

IT IS WELL.

Soraya-Carvalho:
I feel like a failure when I look a my life ,when people of my age are already in their matrimonial home I am still strugling with people bullying me for my looks,everywhere I go people call me ugly .I used to brush them off ,but now I am starting to believe them . Still no work for me either.
My prayer is that God take me now,because I am exhausted

my bro..you are what you think you are. Let of give you a reference. When obama was contesting for the american presidency, i read and still have a small caption of a newspaper page where a guy said he should just forget about the presidency and concentrate on going for the senate. He even went as far as saying that no black man can win such position in this century. Few months after this assertion by a fellow we all know what happened. I still always have that caption stuck to my wall room as a proof that nothing is impossible and no man is a determinant of another mans destiny . So tell me? Would you allow this people dictate what your life is? Everyone is beautiful in their own little ways.

onegig: my bro..you are what you think you are. Let of give you a reference. When obama was contesting for the american presidency, i read and still have a small caption of a newspaper page where a guy said he should just forget about the presidency and concentrate on going for the senate. He even went as far as saying that no black man can win such position in this century. Few months after this assertion by a fellow we all know what happened. I still always have that caption stuck to my wall room as a proof that nothing is impossible and no man is a determinant of another mans destiny . So tell me? Would you allow this people dictate what your life is? Everyone is beautiful in their own little ways.

Thank you, you just nailed it.

@soraya, you are responsible for your life. Prophesy positive things into your life and never accept or agree with any negative things people say about your life, never allow them live your life for you.

I will leave you with this

"Finally, brother, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy; think about such thing.(Phil 4 :

IT IS WELL.

Soraya-Carvalho:
I have severe depression,I am tired of fighting .I have tried everything from praying to talking about it

Calm down and simply promise yourself that you won't kill yourself. Yes, you are in a bad place but you can get out of it if you exercise patience. Tell us a little more about yourself- are you male or female, your age range, job, a little insight into what your problems are.

Let us know...

Soraya-Carvalho:
I feel like a failure when I look a my life ,when people of my age are already in their matrimonial home I am still strugling with people bullying me for my looks,everywhere I go people call me ugly .I used to brush them off ,but now I am starting to believe them . Still no work for me either.
My prayer is that God take me now,because I am exhausted

@Maclatunji, above is his challenge.


@Soraya,

The good book says "comparing themselves by themselves, they are not wise.." (paraphrased). One of the golden rules of life is not comparing your life with another. We all are distinct from each other both in destiny and fulfillment. God's demand upon your life is different from mine. That is why if anybody needs eternal peace and joy from the troubles and pursuit of life, he must understand God's purpose for his life. Understanding this will give you hope and assurance of a bright future. Seek God's purpose, find it and walk in that path..Everything will fall in place.

I have observed that when people say something can't be done, it means it can actually be done if one doesn't give up nor give in to negative oppositions. The guy that invented the aeroplane was called mad in his time for thinking about the impossible. We are better in the world for it today. DO NOT ALLOW ANYBODY TO BULLY YOU OUT OF YOUR DREAMS....

Do not be bothered if you are called ugly, its only an English word. Never let this word prevent you from achieving your goals for a relationship. I once had a girl who left me on the advice of her friends that I was too ugly for her. I thank God today that I can boldly say I have one of the most beautiful ladies, in outward and inward appearance, as a wife. Nobody chose the form, shape and their look before being born, so do not let anybody slay you for what you had no control over. Work on your self esteem and mingle with the right set of people to build you up and not break you. The truth is, a good lady will not make decision of a life time based on appearance but on what you have on the inside coupled with your vision for life.

Keep putting in efforts to get a job, it will be rewarded very soon. Those that gave up in the 11:59th hour, their miracle came knocking in the 12th hour. Never give up hope. An hopeless man is he that has already given up on himself. Even God cannot help such man. He needs the hope in you to work out a miracle. Keep fighting and you will surely win in the end.

It is well with you

onegig: greatgod.. I do understand your assertions and great advice you gave there but sometimes depressing feelings are not just triggered by a sudden action they are sometimes a result of months or even years of pent up sorrow and sadness. Give for example someone who's been rewriting an exam many times without success... If that person feels depressed about such a situation and takes a walk or goes outing. This will not take the sorrow or problems away. We have just been able to postpone such problems till another day.They return back to the same problems they took a break from.
What i will just advise her is to get in here and explain better what she is passing through so that peeps can understand her predicament and be able to help her better.

@soroya. No condition is permanent. Anything that happens has a reason. Take the positives out of every situation. There is always light at the end of a tunnel no matter how dark or grim it looks now.

well said.

Atleast we have a little preview of things... practical solution to your problem is first. Take it that the solution to your problems lies in your hands. We can go on and on giving advise in here but it dosen't change anything if you don't believe you can change for the better just like greatgod advised also don't strive for instant results because the change you desire wont happen overnight.
First thing i would advise you do is take a break from the environment you are currently in. You have families or relations you can go to who are accomodating. Travel down to their place and spend atleast two weeks. During this time temporarily forget your problems and do things you enjoy and help the people you are staying with by doing simple things like house chores and stuff. Go out and enjoy the fresh air.This is to take your mind off the problems. I will get back to you with more tips. Am mobile now

''

Soraya-Carvalho:



Female ,30 years old ,still looking for a job, the only friends I had were the one talking behind my back and saying all these mean things about my looks.I am now by myself,I am afraid of getting hurt again that's why I mostly keep to myself.
thanks guys talking to me

Are you Nigerian? I am sorry about the questions, just trying to get your mindset.

Soraya-Carvalho:



Female ,30 years old ,still looking for a job, the only friends I had were the one talking behind my back and saying all these mean things about my looks.I am now by myself,I am afraid of getting hurt again that's why I mostly keep to myself.
thanks guys talking to me

Sorry i assumed you were male earlier.

Some people have been know to gossip and back bite. The greatest disservice people do to themselves is letting the society or peer pressure determine their course in life. Yes, you aren't married but does that change anything.

Everyone has his/her appointed time for doing things. Life is not a rat race or competition. Do things that make you happy. Let me sight another example. Look around you at the ladies who have been pressured into getting married just because they wanted to conform to societal standards. They married for the wrong reasons and today most have not too happy homes or even broken homes (funke et al).

You will get married and have a happy life if you feel that you would do. 30 might seem old to you but if you have the right attitude you could just meet the man of your dreams and in three months get married... but mind you people both male and female are attracted to people who are positive thinking and looking radiant. Radiance here doesn't mean physical beauty but the inner beauty(self esteem, confidence). i used to have a friend who was overweight but because of her poise, character and radiance guys flocked around her.

If you look gloomy and not positive no man would want you to be his wife or mother of his children. It's the natural law of evolution people are always looking for a better part to join to so that their off springs will be better off. I guess you might have had relationships in the past but you must wore out these guys with your negative outlook of life. I am not beautiful, i cannot make it in life, i am a loser. Who hears such things and still stick around if not a select few. You need to work on yourself a lot and it takes a step by step approach.


First thing....Please stop comparing yourself to others. you are different and unique. Everyone have problems. all those people you see painting a beautiful pictures of their life have some things going wrong for them at one point or the other they just choose to highlight the bright part of their lives.


About your been jobless.. With your writing. I guess you must have a minimum of either OND, or even a degree. Schools are resuming next month. Most of these private schools would be recruiting. Some don't want to scare away potential students by pasting on their walls that they don't have English, maths, science, business teachers. Look for one around your area. Meet with the principal or whoever is in charge. Tell him your capabilities. The pay might not be okay but it is a start. NEVER BE IDLE. JUST GET SOMETHING DOING. Even if it just pays for your transport and daily upkeep. Just get busy. Once you start getting busy, you start forgetting those good for nothing friends you have. Focus on yourself. Save money, Go to your workplace mons-fri. Look for a vocational centre around you. Learn things like hair dressing, braiding e.t.c you sure know what you like or what your passions are. Continue applying for jobs you qualify for. Write down a list (bucket list) of things you would love to do. Like i will like to travel to Abuja and see the Aso rock...Try and achieve this little you have written. With time your outlook of life would change.


Mind you it is gradual and not something that yields results immediately you need to be disciplined. Try as much as possible to forget your sorrows. Focus on the positives of your life. Best of luck. If you have other things to discuss just post it in here.


Lastly...Get close to your God, but seriously getting close to God without positive actions would not yield any result. We have over 6 billion people in the world although God listens to all but let me tell you he listens to those who seek his help and are ready to take positive ACTIONS to achieve their goals.

^^^^ Well said.

...

This thread makes me want to cry sometimes, well done to all the helpers

you people are doing great jobs here.you are helping alot of men/ladies.

i feel so glad to have come across this thread.u all are lovely people.

Before contemplating suicide read this.

This is for you.
This is for the moments you’re alone with emotion, so fucking bold they leave you mentally frozen, cold and alone, heart open and broken, when that love’s out of sight and your hurt’s in the focus, when you’re floating in oceans of hopelessness and sulking and misery,
this is for you.

This is for the moments when you feel like they just don’t understand, they ain’t where I am, they ain’t where I stand, they’re staring from the outside and judging my in, they can’t relate to this pain, they don’t feel what I feel, this is for you.

This is for the moments when your weakness is your cloak and the people you love most just beat you to a pulp when they tell you’re nothing but disgusting and unworthy of the love that you need, of the heart that you seek, of the blood that you bleed when you sliced open your wrists looking for love in its slits but find nothing but self-hate ‘cause nothing exists but all that they’ve spoken, this is for you.

When the bullies kick you and beat you,
hurt you and leave you laying on the ground like you’re trash, like you’re only half of their equal,
when they gladly defeat you then laugh to your face, when you feel all alone, when you’re so out-of-place, This is for you.

When your parents are too busy just to sit and fucking listen ‘cause they’ve got other problems,
so it’s either you’re over it or they’re pissed at the truth, when you’re begging and pleading that they see that you’re hurting, that they don’t disregard you, that they know that you’re fragile and don’t purposely harm you, that when they look at you like you’re the worst thing that’s ever happened in their lives, like you’re the biggest mistake in their minds, that they don’t have to say shit ‘cause it shows in their eyes and you want them to know that it hurts you sometimes, this is for you.

When the girl that you love won’t even look in your direction, when the guy that you like adds you to his pu**y collection, when you take your pride and throw it away for one night that means nothing just to mean something to
someone who will never see you, this is for you.

When you’re all dressed in black and they whisper and snicker, when they make you feel like you’re wrong for being so different,
when you try to reform and they judge you regardless, when you can’t understand why this world is so heartless,
this is for you.

This is for every-fucking-body that knows what it’s like to feel like you ain’t shit but a memory that will never be relived, that distant f*cking shit that everyone forgets, the words on the tip of tongues that get swallowed with
the spit, when you feel so invisible you’re not even sure that you exist so you cut yourself open just to see if you’re real, you numb yourself with drugs just to hide what you feel,
you drink to wash the pain in hopes of rejecting it afterwards, you live every day wishing you could rewind your life backwards because you wanna figure out where the Bleep you went wrong, ‘cause, shit, your world ain’t been right for so long.

I know how it feels,
I’ve been there before,
I’ve had my head in my hands and my heart on the floor, I’ve been worthless and shattered,
I’ve been nothing to people,
I know what it’s like to have to force them to see you.
I know how it feels to swallow some pills and hope that you die or hope that you’re killed.
I know what it’s like to sit and to write the letter that will change everyone’s life, ‘cause I knew in my mind if they didn’t care now, they would when I was gone, and every-fucking-body
would feel what I felt in my bones.
They’d feel the earth shake and rattle from the ground underneath.
They’d view me with grief, they’d give me the peace they could have given to me when I was right in their face.
It’ll take some waking them up,
but I’ll do whatever it takes, they just need to see that I’m something.
I’m some-fucking-body,
I’m a heart,
I’m a mind,
I’m a soul,
I’m a body,
I’m not disposable garbage, I’m not disgusting and wrong, but maybe they’ll see that when I’m finally gone.

But see, I learned the mistake that I made was allowing other people to change the way that I saw myself. Now I see myself, I see me so f*cking clearly I could cry, everytime I look myself in the eye it’s because I know what you’re going through,

I know who you are.
I’ve traveled that road, I’ve just taken it further,
so this is for you.
If you’re thinking it now,
if you’re wanting to die,
if you’re thinking it out,
you are so much more than you are in this moment,
please don’t give up.
Please stay strong, ‘cause there’s always a rainbow after every storm.
Don’t do what they’re expecting of you.
Don’t let go.
Don’t give up on you.
You’ll never know how great you can be.
Don’t give up on you.
I didn’t give up on me.
I did not give up on me.
-Angel Haze

^Really deep.

Great writeup, maybe it should be put on the first page

Ibkaye, how are you?

Yeah, there are often times I feel bad, times I feel am not getting my worth, am not where I should be, all sorts of things like that, but to feel suicidal, NEVER, and when I say NEVER, I mean NEVER. The truth is, irrespective of what I think am going through, I still can count many that I am better off. I may not be collecting 6 zeros salary yet, but come to think of it, I still have friends who do not have any job at all. My hubby may not be a multi-millionaire yet, but my friends, I still have friends who are endlessly praying to get a man that will marry them. Mention any other aspect of life, am still an envy to some people, so why do I want to ever feel suicidal.

And to make things interesting, I have parents that have not really enjoyed me much(I never build manson for them o), I have a lovely husband that I cant even imagine another woman in his life(I gbadun am die, na the best), and I have a wonderful daughter that I know can never have a better mum than me.9She is an angel sent from God himself)

Lesson: No matter your situation, you are still better than a lot of other people

.

joywendy: i really like this post. i have been having this thought in my mind. i feel so despressed and lonely.

dear. There are still people who really care about you. I am one of them. So, do you wanna share what the problems really are? We are ready to listen and help out.

.

.

@Joywendy

I wanted to come back and post later because I am sleepy and tired after the day's work but the tone of your posts was tugging at my heart and I couldn' t go away, close my eyes and sleep peacefully with the thoughts of you being somewhere feeling terrible. I do hope that others will come along and bring on more comforting words for you. You don' t have to feel terrible like that, it is good to have friends but we should love ourself and enjoy the time we find ourselves alone without friends and family around. You shouldn't feel too depressed at such times. You can improve on yourself by reading or doing other educative & creative things okay.

I don't know what it is you said you did but whatever it is remember that nobody is perfect. Stop feeling too terrible and please don' t do anything to harm yourself. I will talk to you more later okay. Take care of yourself.