@ dami, lol at not xtian enough! Make i behave myself henceforth

Jide, Olohun mo number ile e o.

jidegirl12:

Who is this gal??

Mo fura sie goon...only cowards hide behind new moniker you know, I thought you're more brave and umm edgeless than hiding behind some moniker

Like Bob Parker use to say on price is right.. Come on Down ... er chilli !!

As we wa sein.... CC you can't believe I'm doing justice to my Salah meat as I type... Ila alasepo tonight ... From Naija straight up .... Nothing like wood fried meat.

If you gonna smoke, get a good one. Seriously, read what you typed slowly and see if it makes sense to you.

2s£xy:
Thank you...

It's never easy but when I see what children become wherein they lack the proper parental guardiance, I feel bad.

Some people just see themselves as 'providers' and that's where it ends.

No matter the stress, put your children first. Family first, work can come later. After all is gone, your family will still stand, until then...you relate well with them because you already established the closeness

...hmmm.... Where to start?


Here! Your garden variety psychopathic naija husband...obviously not bonding with his offspring. Brute!


TV

Nashville: You would have done a lot better to just tell us how your own relationship with your dad was and how your husband relates to your children.

Simple kweshun 0! See diversionary non-response by a seemingly virtual person!!!

Sisi_Kill: Rotflmao! Tee Veee...Deep Breath son, deep breath.

Gosh! How long have you been waiting to put that out there?!

I hope twas worth the wait. Lmao!!!!!


Moving on. ..Nashville, it is because I have seen the good ones (which are really a handful) and how well they handle it which makes it perplexing that some men think it's beneath them to be fathers to their kids. Like I said I work for an organization where majority of the kids are from African....Nigerian descent and I can count on one hand how many times their dads come to any events. I've seen up close and personal what their disinterest do to these kids.

Nash, my man...I don't hate Nigerian, I just dislike badly behaved Nigerian men and I'm not gonna pat ALL Nigerian men on the head just because....for one thing it does a great disservice to the few. ..very few good ones.

So once again instead of getting haughty about people talking about the badly behaved majority, how's about we find a way to make them the minority?!

On a side note
Will a thread ever be complete if the pipsqueak does not make an appearance? I think not. Lol. ..Eejit!!

You, yours...geddit??

TV

_{And for those of you viewing the preceeding post, please stop ogling my lovely bod, it's for Mrs TV only !}

Chillisauce:


If you gonna smoke, get a good one. Seriously, read what you typed slowly and see if it makes sense to you.

Yeah yeah .. You could've asked for the meaning of Yoruba there and who Bob Parker is instead of a acting arrogant?

Even my first grader knows, that last paragraph wasn't addressed to you if your brain is indeed what you claimed it's iq read.

Even in your undercover mode .. It's glaring its you.

bros Biolabee, you try o.

O kare sir.

2s£xy:
Thank you ma'am. I will and with God's help, it shall come to pass.

You are welcome.

Sorry your tread has been derailed. Just pick what you need and use it.

No matter how busy you are or seem, remember your kids are very important as they are the next generation.

It is well

2s£xy:
Aunty Sisi kills, abeg nor slap me oh.

We all know that men who spend time with their kids are not much when compared to the larger population that's as far as the Nigerian soceity is concerned...

At least where I grew up you hardly find such... You could say there is a growing trend inclined to such requirement among Nigerian dads.

And please, I don't mean that they don't care and is taking up resposibility of paying ONLY bills the major things they should do? Was our mothers the ONLY one who brought us to this world? NO...

All I mean is that QUALITY time to be with the kids so as to be their 'friend'. There are some kids who can't even communicate with their dad like they would with their own friends at school because of 'fear' or no relationship.

I don't wanna debate but me must be the best for my kids.

Lmao! I got your point jare! No e-slapping here.

It was just surprising to see people acting like this isn't the reality in most homes in Nigeria. I don't know how stating the obvious gender bashing. Good thing twas a guy who started the topic.

Anyhoo, thanks for being real. That you noticed something wrong and addressed instead of sweeping it under the carpet for the sake of "protecting your gender" I pray God bestow upon you all you need to be GREAT FATHER to your kids.

Holy self importance Batman!!!!

Someone sure has a high opinion of their presence on these threads.

Only tremble, what about tumble.

Grownazz men talking about online bullies. Lord save us from these pansies who call themselves men.

Choi! They sure don't make 'em like they used to anymore. Sad!

TV01:

Simple kweshun 0! See diversionary non-response by a seemingly virtual person!!!



You, yours...geddit??

TV

_{And for those of you viewing the preceeding post, please stop ogling my lovely bod, it's for Mrs TV only !}

How do you want it....in bullet points, cliff notes or a full dissertation? You know what. ..I think we should just keep the status quo, ya know the one where you scurry unseen to read people's previous posts...yeah that one. This way you get to feel a sense of accomplishment for being smart enough to know about people from reading what they have written about themselves.

Now! Now don't thank me....I aim to please.

And they say we can't get along!!!!!

is debrief a woman lol, always thought u were a dude no vex, na conditioning cos am o

TV01:

Pick on? Who? I scratch my butt in Urdu! Dem no reesh, dem no fit. Lies,
deception and misinformation cannot pick on the truth.

Matri-wetin? For where? Please don't rubbish that word. If they like let
them form cabal, cohort, club, constituency, caucus or even
corporation. I will continue to uphold and celebrate the family and
harmonious relationships in truth.

In fact, I'm upping the ante, spew any contrary nonsense and I will
pointedly draw your attention to it - if I choose. Don't particularly
care if you respond or not or how you choose to do so. It's not for you,
but for the impressionable/vulnerable reading.

If you besmirch Christianity, denigrate our families, try to normalise
divorce, bash our men, promulgate sodomy or push radical feminism, I may
well have something to say.

When I have time sha - gotta take JR swimming !

I'll be back - like a wrecking ball amongst derelict houses.

See them tremble !


TV

You are a stupid hypocrite using christainity to justify your low sense to read and comprehend ,and also bullying others.

Yes some Nigerian men are truly busy and have little free time but let's be real a lot choose to rather spend what free time they have the their mistress somehwere or with the "boys" drinking beer. The average woman and rushes home to prepare dinner and supervise the kids homework while a lot of men go somewhere for a drink. It is ok to enjoysome me time with friends but that should be adter spending quality time with one's family.It's not that women wouldn't also like to hangout friends but they always put the kids first.

Na wa oo..

A new account just for mr TV


Lol..

They really don't make women like they used to..

Tinubu, amina, moremi.. Eh ya

These new ones have a aggrandized sense of self worth

Toodle oo


Look further away from where you stand, the bullies are elsewhere

Lol

Happy sunny day.. Folks!

Lorax: You are a stupid hypocrite using christainity to justify your low sense to read and comprehend ,and also bullying others.

Oh dear lawd!!!

After being busted with their alternate ID's going about spewing carbon copies of their own ridiculous posts, they have now graduated to using their alternate ID's to make it look like someone else's ID just so they can swoop in to hype themselves up. This is rich, I tell ya!!

Bwahahahaha!!!

#Insecurity abounds #miserably inadequate

Lmao

At times most threads pple r supposed to learn from r turned into crap cos some pple feel they know it all and any other posts on d contrary is a bullshit. Most pple I assume want to contribute to threads but when they peep in and c what's goin on,they become viewers only. Some r generally sensitive in nature hence don't dare put mouth when d so called gladiators hv hijacked a thread.
An average nigerian that registered here want to hv fun, learn,do research and so on.
For those that want to contribute, can we pls make the atmosphere conducive enof for them to participate? Even if it gat no meaning?
I think that's the meaning of a forum
I observed that only very few pple contribute to topics,only that very few r expected to contribute and only very few's point of view r expected to be correct even when they makes no sense.
O dikwa serious.

jidegirl12:

Yeah yeah .. You could've asked for the meaning of Yoruba there and who Bob Parker is instead of a acting arrogant?

Even my first grader knows, that last paragraph wasn't addressed to you if your brain is indeed what you claimed it's iq read.

Even in your undercover mode .. It's glaring its you.

Wtf! I still don't understand what your point is or the message you're passing across.

From bonding with ones kids we get to this.

Clearly It seems you are either deranged or lack common sense . It can be both.

Now learn how to respond to threads and state your opinion.

Move along and let others read and state theirs.

Don't quote ppl if you don't have any thing reasonable to say, some ppl actually are very busy and have little time to spend trying to understand what you are saying.

Write in a universal language

Did I mention, learn to pass across your opinion.

Now you have my attention, run along you deranged fellow.

This is the last time I will respond to you.

Some things never fuvking change! SMDH!!!

Madam CC,thanks a lot for ur encouragin words.
My eyes r a bit wet.

Good Morning all, and happy Sunday!

@CC & Yellow pawpaw, I get what you both are saying. You know, the most frustrating bit of it all is when you gave a completely different opinion to popular views, which some may think is radical.

Nothing wrong with being different and having points to back up your views in a mature debate. What I do find distasteful is / are people who take it upon themselves to throw insults, in the hope that these will subdue and smother your msg or views. Or them trying to to personal in the hope if scoring e-points with their insults, without contributing anything useful themselves.

This is an open forum where all should feel free to state their thoughts on any topic. Personally, I don't have an issue with harmless banter. But when people decide to make it personal and lay on the insults, then that's when the Report To Moderator button comes in handy and a ban.

No need for long story jare.

Anyway, I stand for justice and equality for all. My opinions are my opinions and I'll never feel the need to "follow the crowd", nor form e-alliances. Yeah, I may get on well with certain handles but that won't stop me from disagreeing with them if need be. We are after all, unique in our individual ways.

Amen...

Sisi_Kill:

Lmao! I got your point jare! No e-slapping here.

It was just surprising to see people acting like this isn't the reality in most homes in Nigeria. I don't know how stating the obvious gender bashing. Good thing twas a guy who started the topic.

Anyhoo, thanks for being real. That you noticed something wrong and addressed instead of sweeping it under the carpet for the sake of "protecting your gender" I pray God bestow upon you all you need to be GREAT FATHER to your kids.

Honestly, I didn't create this thread to receive this magnitude of mostly fight between 'gladiators'. It would have been a better stage to educate yearning minds.

Efemena_xy: Good Morning all, and happy Sunday!

@CC & Yellow pawpaw, I get what you both are saying. You know, the most frustrating bit of it all is when you gave a completely different opinion to popular views, which some may think is radical.

Nothing wrong with being different and having points to back up your views in a mature debate. What I do find distasteful is / are people who take it upon themselves to throw insults, in the hope that these will subdue and smother your msg or views. Or them trying to to personal in the hope if scoring e-points with their insults, without contributing anything useful themselves.

This is an open forum where all should feel free to state their thoughts on any topic. Personally, I don't have an issue with harmless banter. But when people decide to make it personal and lay on the insults, then that's when the Report To Moderator button comes in handy and a ban.

No need for long story jare.

Anyway, I stand for justice and equality for all. My opinions are my opinions and I'll never feel the need to "follow the crowd", nor form e-alliances. Yeah, I may get on well with certain handles but that won't stop me from disagreeing with them if need be. We are after all, unique in our individual ways.

Gbam.

I seriously really dont understand why people carry e-grudges (should that even be a word) Life is stressful enough so as not to be getting stressed by an anonymous person.

Back to topic,another useful tip is creating family time for you to all just jist.This is applicable for slightly older kids but even though sometimes then I would be rollling my eyes , my dad used to call us all together or sometimes individually and ask you what's going on with you.
Brb

2s£xy:
Honestly, I didn't create this thread to receive this magnitude of mostly fight between 'gladiators'. It would have been a better stage to educate yearning minds.

Then you best warn that butthurt gutless weasel to stop following me from thread to thread with his beef and back off me. I had ignored no less than 3 or 4 of his derogatory posts towards me on this thread already (a point that is completely lost on the hypocritical haters who are mute during the provocation but suddenly find their hypocritical voices when there is a response). The main reason I responded to the last one is so that people won't believe the crap he was suggesting about who is polymonikering.

Are we still talking about the original topic "How much time Nigerian fathers spend with their kind"

Well if we are, I'll just throw in my 2 cents . .

It's obvious most Nigerian men think it's uncool to hang out with rowdy/tantrum-throwing kids, never mind that they fathered them.

I think the Nigerian men need to realize that being friends with their kids don't make them any less of a man. Gone were the days when kids run into their rooms and behave when daddy gets home. The world is changing and kids are now more exposed to danger and evils than they were in the past. More than ever, they NEED hands-on fathers.

Every father should strive to be involved in every aspect of his child's lives. Those kidnappers, rapists, murderers, prostitutes e.t.c are also people's children. We have to stop leaving it all to the women alone . .

But if you guys have ignored the topic and started a war about who's right and wrong, then by all means ignore my post!

LMAO

Ujujoan:
But if you guys have ignored the topic and started a war about who's right and wrong, then by all means ignore my post!

Ujujoan:
But if you guys have ignored the topic and started a war about who's right and wrong, then by all means ignore my post!

Ok. Ignored.

I kid, I kid

Back to topic!

Yes, the natural tendency is for the bulk of the child rearing to be deferred to the woman which may or may not lead to better bonds between the children and their mother (depending on parenting style). I do have believe that this generation is better though. For those fathers that aren't spending time with their children, to me the main reasons are laziness or immaturity. Or both. Hidden under the cover of culture.

chaircover: . . . but Uju this is what I dont understand

The "most" Nigerian men are the same breed who come over here and push pram and are all over their kids. On Saturday in the city cetre shopping mall, I see heaps of fathers and kids shopping and having meals in reataurants. I also see loads of daddys carrying their babies in a chest sling.

My Naija work colleagues take days off work to do things with their kids and when their kids are sick.

Do you think its the environment that is actually the cause of this?

Na the system cause am ...

They have no choice here.

Heheheh

chaircover: . . . but Uju this is what I dont understand

The "most" Nigerian men are the same breed who come over here and push pram and are all over their kids. On Saturday in the city cetre shopping mall, I see heaps of fathers and kids shopping and having meals in reataurants. I also see loads of daddys carrying their babies in a chest sling.

My Naija work colleagues take days off work to do things with their kids and when their kids are sick.

Do you think its the environment that is actually the cause of this?

That is why I like reading your posts. You do have an analytical mind. If the average American dad had to drive three hours everyday, then go battle generator, nepa, water, police etc, you will see a difference in them too. Nigeria is tough and it is tough for everyone. I am not trying to give excuses because bonding and guiding your children is one of the essentials of parenting and everyone should try as much as possible to spend time with their kids.Nigeria has over 170 million people so there are millions of examples of bad fathers, good fathers and the ones that are trying. But what I dont understand is when people just make statements like "we all know Nigerian men are useless".

If we ask the question - "Do Nigerian men spend quality time with their children?" I am sure 80% of the gender bashers will says Nigerian men are drunks who leave parenting to the women. If you rephrase the same question and ask "Did your father spend quality time with you or does your husband spend quality time with your children"? These same people will say they had loving dads or have hands on husbands. The two questions in theory should give the same answer but it all depends on the way it is phrased. If lots of people had a good bond with their dads as we have seen on this thread, yet these same people just say Nigerian dads are not good at parenting, then something just does not add up. That is why I have been asking, please share your own personal experience with your dad or how your husband is acting. These Nigerian men are our fathers, husbands, brothers and children and we can start with our own experiences. We all have several examples of Baba Sule and Baba Muyideen who had ten wives and never cared for anyone. But I don't think Baba Sule represents the average Nigerian man.

There are lots of irresponsible men and there are lots of hands on dads out there. There are also lots of people who have "genuine excuses" why they are not spending time with their kids. What we should be discussing is how to help those who may want to but dont seem to have the time to be hands on dads. I had earlier suggested family vacation but I know it can be expensive. But the truth is that we can encourage people that rather than buy that new car or land, why dont you go on a family vacation where the whole family will spend time bonding. It will be worth more than the car or land in future. Sometimes some men should just avoid going for that owambe or friends wedding in order to take the kids for swimming or something else. What they need is a paradigm shift so that they can prioritise their families first. Those are the kind of discussions we should be having rather than just making blanket statements like "we all know Nigerian men are useless". We should remember we are all from the same society, the boys cannot be brought up one way and the girls another!

Chillisauce:

Na the system cause am ...

They have no choice here.

Heheheh

So, so true.

Why else would I still be stretching languorsly in bed?

Time to pick my lazy backside up and get going...