captain sinzu: what re u drivin @?.....if na ma pix dey vex u..abeg no vex again u hear!!!!wen odas dey upload una no complain o....

No worry

Uthman51:
No worry

owk

I don vex self

It seems we need some pastors here....Sum pple really need deliverance......Don't u ave instagram on ur fone abi shey dis thread na keek....

What re u trying to do....Posting ur best pic with ur christmas cloth?....Mehn we are adults nt kids....Make I no talk sha

captain sinzu: ogbeni e b lik u go park well o

Oga Captain...U fine gann Oooooo..We know ...Bt u should pls stop this...Posting of pic is a sin..Stay away from it....****Bouncers don plenty gan Oooo****....I rest my case

captain sinzu: what re u drivin @?.....if na ma pix dey vex u..abeg no vex again u hear!!!!wen odas dey upload una no complain o....

mtcw so u MST do wat odAs did ?

bufness: mtcw so u MST do wat odAs did ?

I fear Ooooo

He witout sin shud cast d 1st stone ....I don c dem finish Judas....Lekins hwfa..

bufness: mtcw so u MST do wat odAs did ?

oya it aff do...mtcheewww

captain sinzu: He witout sin shud cast d 1st stone ....I don c dem finish Judas....Lekins hwfa..

I dey my Oga

WAEC THINGS III
**************
I want to write this update in pidgin, just this ok, make una no vex.

I wish person go stop to dey write exams because me don tire for all this exams ish jare, person go dey hustle for expo like say na our life, ofcus na our life, if we no pass there is noway them go call us graudates, we go continue to dey write till Waec go get our names specially for their list, if dem no see us for their list them go come find us as we dey hustle dey beg us say we go pass, if we manage go write come do expo again we go still fail, chai this expo no correct Abi na drunkards dey mark our scripts, person go pay enuf cash then risk him life to go answer the question finish still na failure things Make una help me tell National assembly and GEJ abeg.-Am talking Rubbish Uh
LET ME SUMMARISE
BIOLOGY
That day was hell, non of us looked at eachother, why? Cus expo was sufficient for us we wrote till we were begging the invigilator to carry his wahala and go, we were all expecting A1 throughtout, i collected about five text books that day cus students were tearing it and throwing them away, it was such fun, my seat partner from Abuja was also elated, all her pingings were good cus answers flowed.

ECONOMICS
This paper was another hell, Our teacher practically helped the invigilator to fish out every students with expo, he eyes were sharper than two ages sword. I settled for f9 already, who cares.

PHYSICS
The second worst day of my WAEC, the questions were terrible and to worsen matters the hall was very large and the students were few so we were largly spaced, you could barely asked someone for help and that was when every student began bringing out their building materials, sorry i mean expo materials. The Principal landed and began catching people, my three key points were seized, the man could be used as Nollywood's terminator, till date if i see that man i feel like treating his fuckup.

Abraham got up and sat on his desk then pulled off his shirt and began fanning himself.

"What are you doing?" The invigilator asked.

"Sir since nothing to write cant i just fan myself" he replied which made the hall burst into laughter, the man had pity on us and allowed us carry our expo materials back.

CHEMISTRY
That day was our night of a tousand laughs, a gilr was caught writting for a guy, that guy na id'iot sha. The invigilator wanted to leave her alone but that moment the principal came in and that was where yawa gas.

"So u are an impersonator abi? Am going the police now"The principal said and brought out her phone to start calling even though we were pleading on the girl behalf, she was adamant. All of a sudden the girl who was sitted at the far corner with the wall shoot out like a cannon and flee for her life.

The Principal was not to be undermined cus she chased the girl with full nitro speed, she hit her waist on the door and her wrapper fell down but her sport shorts inside made her continue the race but the girl was too fast, she escaped.

We laughed like we inhaled laughing gas then used that style to quickly exchange expo and scripts, i was also expecting A1 in the paper or so i thought.

The principal came back cursing and heaving words, she took the girl's slippers which was left behind and then tore the script-what wickedness.

GEOGRAPHY
I love this subject especially map reading, maybe because i sabi dechiper alots of short cuts

some people were drawing yam and cassava as their Map of naija and Africa, i had to help my partner who was drawing an Ameoba, i got another 1k again, she insisted on collecting my number buy i told her my phone was spoilt.

C.R.S
This is the first subject which i would never fail in this life, from nursery to when God go call me i would never fail that subjects, some people were bringing king James bible, i searched for king Philip bible but could not find it

AGRIC SCIENCE
That paper hurt me alot cus my sister's name was not found on the list, she just neededone credit to complete her result and it was supposed to be Agric which was very simple, she went back home, i blasted the paper with a sad heart,it was my second best subject, though i hate farming like mad, i loved the subject to much to let it go.

E REMAIN ENGLISH AND MATHS ABI?
make i go chop come back then go barb hair so that babes go dey trip for this short boy tomorow.

This story go end this night or so am thinking.........

Just mooping @ U

Oga lekinz make u no worry if u see my abs u go faint especially the one wey dey for my chest. Since yesterday na now i charge my battery. Nepa dey mad

Wisdom-Me:
Just mooping @ U

moping at who?

Winnie1950: Oga lekinz make u no worry if u see my abs u go faint especially the one wey dey for my chest. Since yesterday na now i charge my battery. Nepa dey mad

Taaaar....Leave dt side jooor?...Abi I don faint ni....Na watermelon abi guava ??....No go try me Ooooo make d tin wey hapun for 1963 wen 1

girl tell me d same tin no go repeat imself again...in Basket mouth's voice...Faint for those wonda things them...I go...uhm.. u know am..Ask my

Oga@dtop in dis field @Rock

3solid keypoints?bros na so u dull reach?too much play no good o see me wey no too play i make my waec and neco in one sitting i de even contemplate which one to even use self

shey even u wey be preacher's pikin de look for my bible?sorry i be hide am dat day sha

uduak so season 1 go end tonight abi? imagine if u dont write again,what am i gonna read

captain sinzu: owk

captain na handsome dude abeg make una free am,

Oya na, this is the grand finale.

Typing........

Winnie1950: moping at who?

Instead of me 2 moop @ ur fallen boobz, I'll stay @ an owerri jss3 girl

Na so every writer wan finish at the same time?

Wisdom-Me:
Instead of me 2 moop @ ur fallen boobz, I'll stay @ an owerri jss3 girl

na wa o. Don't u understand simple English? I asked a question and this is what u are saying. If u didn't want to answer it u should have just ignored it instead u are insulting me. Well i will not insult u back but seriously u need to work on ur manners (just an advice). I have never insulted anyone on NL and u won't be the first.

As dey finish dis story ee make u cont with ur future life story if u no want make I .....
@ winnie. Noyhing dey fall from heaven wey ground no go fit hold..even if na d world largest abs u get my eyez are ready to investigate

@Winnie- dont mind Wisdom Me, cus the guy is a customised idi'ot(all pun intended)

Wisdom-i thought ur name means something to u, man c'mon chill jare, dont forget Mynd's still gat my back, if u try this again u would be suprised what hit u.

Ban button never spoil for Mynd Lappy

*SHOCKED* I hope i didn't just read the part that says this story is about to end. Wow! Wow! Wow! What a journey. . So what am i going to be reading now? *SAD FACE*

---

Uduak maybe i go finish my story tomorrow then you fit open that thread.

---

I thank GoD for my life ooOoo, it's not like i'm too brilliant... Alot of my friends wrote GCE in ss2 but i didn't. In ss3 i wrote WAEC only. When the result came out i was extremely happy cause i made it, some of my friends back then who wrote GCE, WAEC, and NECO all together are still writing S.S.C.E. That same year i finished secondary school i took JAMB, i had already gotten admission but they later increased my department cut-off-mark, i didn't get admitted. Same year i bought pre-degree form in the same school and now i'm a student of KSU. Abeg ASUU make una call off strike today ooOoo.. I just dey grow beard for house... I still be young guy but if una see my bear-bear una go know say osama bin laden na learner. .

So na like so this story take finish?

@Wisdom-Me - honestly speaking, i doubt your sanity, you're the direct opposite of your moniker. #PunIntended

The rock5555: @Winnie- dont mind Wisdom Me, cus the guy is a customised idi'ot(all pun intended)

Wisdom-i thought ur name means something to u, man c'mon chill jare, dont forget Mynd's still gat my back, if u try this again u would be suprised what hit u.

Ban button never spoil for Mynd Lappy

like seriously i was surprised at his response. This is the first time I'm receiving this type of comment both on net and real life because i always avoid people like him.

Wisdom-Me:
Instead of me 2 moop @ ur fallen boobz, I'll stay @ an owerri jss3 girl

I swear u still get small piikin brain

DEDICATED TO ALL MY FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS.

WAEC THINGS IV
**************
MATHEMATICS
My most dreaded subject if only it could be voted out of sylables i would have been glad.

That day was hotter than fire, all the various answers that was gotten were all different, no one corresponded, people were claiming that theirs was correct instead of the others, it was a free fight for all, i not to be outdone photocopy every different questions and answers i could lay my hands on.

When the Invigilator finally arrived i was pouring out sweat like a crase man, my system was getting warm and cold like fever was disturbing me, it was not me alone cus girls bladders were getting filled too much, everyone wanted to ease themselves, it was that bad.

When the papers were distributed we all started staring at it like we were in a trance, different pappers were making their way outside because nothing was corresponding.

"Sh'it" Peter the blackman snorted and put his hands on his head, i could not help laughing at him even though my hands was shaking to bring mine out to cross check.

"Bros wetin na?" i asked him like i did not know.

"Mehn i don print handout oo and non correspond" He replied and began bringing large amounts of papers which could be used to make a maths text book, upon my misery i still found chance to laugh, it was so funny, he flung all outside and stared at me expecting me to bring mine out.

My hands was shaking as i brought out my papers aka Bullet, non of them corresponded, i was mad with fear, my brain was corrupting with no thoughts. It was so bad.

My pinging partner was silent, maybe her BIS finished so i teased her about the expo from her phone, she showed it, it was far from the questions written down there, then i remembered something.

Where was our Maths teacher, he was nowhere to be found, i sneaked to Dominic's seat, he was struggling to answer some questions while some girrafers were struggling to catch a view.

"Guy where Mr Afolabi na?"

"Mehn Peter the man run leave us oo, i call am him say him don go help him son for another school. And the science teacher from Gss Ubbe say him no fit leave him students so we are on our own" He explained.

"Chai God go punish that Maths teacher and him son" i thought and went back to my seat.

The little i managed to write was immediatly grabbed by my partners and they began struggling, the invigilator came and collected my script when i had answered only two questions, i went to beg her but she was adamant, i went back to my seat sadly, i already knew f9 was waiting for me, my seat mates were consoling me but it was too late.

A guy began writing some answers sent to him which was correct the students rushed and began dubbing sharperly. You need to come see ten students on one seat. When the external invigilator arrived the all scattered in different directions.

Obed was the unlucky goat caught, a heavy knock from the external invigilator showed him his seat.

"This center must fail, exam malpractice abi? We shall see" He man said and walked out.

We were doomed.

ENGLISH
This subject happened to be my favourite, you would be wondering how a guy that loves pidgin english would know Grammar English(even the people that have called me would confirm,pidgin na my favourite) dont forget i went to a grammar school in Makurdi-Adeguwurulez can confirm that.

That was my happiest day, those girls Beauty and Janet that were forming that Exam malpractice was not good were on my neck that day, almost half of the hall copied from me, i was writing and distributing like a Lastma officer.

"My son stop helping those girls because you are not the one that would marry them, they would leave you and go and marry and by then am sure you would have not started thinking of marriage then, so calm down and face your life ifnot you would fail and those girls would all pass" The man adviced but i was already high on bosom pressing and little changes given to me by those girls to listen to the man's words.

At the end of our last paper students began screaming and dancing, textbooks were torn, biros and pencils were broken, lockers were slammed, uniforms were torn. Una go dey ask wetin me i do.

Well first i stole one carton of chalk to use for house lessons with my siblings, i stole enough key points and text books that could enable me open a library or bookshop. Infact my bag was so heavy that me and my sister took turns in holding it, most of the students knew i took their text books but who cares, A1s were on the horizon.

But i knew i would fail two subjects-Maths and Econs.
*****************
Chai this story no wan finish ooo but it must end.

Typing continues.....

Typing last part....

Winnie1950: Well i will not insult u back but seriously u need to work on ur manners (just an advice). I have never insulted anyone on NL and u won't be the first.

Winnie i de feel u jare i think he should meet the twins i heard dey do sell some manners so dat him go get some

wisdom it aren't fair she was jst asking playfully na im u jst wake ur come de take am personal

@ the rock, clemzy, uthman and king Philip: thanks guys for standing up for me. I'm very grateful.

DEDICATED TO MY TWIN BABES(J and H)

GRADUATION
***********

The graduation was so boring i almost slept i was wearing my christmas cloth and apkola shoe

"Ladies and gentlemen, i present to you the best graduating students in the whole of Akwanga, this school is the only school that am sure did not do exam malpractice, the students were the best"

I cleaned my eyes well to see who was making the speech, it was the same man that threatened to destroy our results all. How come did he suddenly began saying our school was exam malpracticeless, it was mystery, maybe the man was high on Panadol and pure water or he sleepwalked to our school. He was actually the father of the day.

I could not help but laugh to my hear content, somethings never change in Naija.

"Lets all join hands to make this country a better place, as you go on with your education and endeavours i wish you all the best, some of you are going to be Armed robbers and prostitutes after school(some students began laughing) but if we shape our futures well you can become the next governor and president,(next external invigilator abi, i thought)

Someone was sniffing and leaned on my shoulders i turned to see Janet shedding tears.

"Wetin again na?" i wispered.

"I would miss school life oo, i wish i can start jss1 all over again" She replied, her words stung my heart but i tried not to show it. I also felt the same way too.

We were presented our gifts(one glass plates each) then took somepix with friends, non of my family members arrived sef, it did not worry me at all. There was supposed to be a party that night but i knew that i would sign my death certificate if i try going there so i slept quietly at home even though my mind was in the party been held in school.


I recently saw my graduation pix, i laughed till i almost cried cus i was so small eh, i wondered how i managed all that feats of sturboness and bleeping.

When the result came out i went with a friend of mine to Light house resort, its like a hotel with eatries and shops around it, we went to their cafe and waited for the result to show.

My heart was not even beating which scared me, suddenly the dude that was browsing said.

"Mehn, this boy try oo, him get A1 for English"

That made me jump up and ran to the monitor to see wassup, what i saw broke my heart.

I had failed maths,i had five credits, my school failed woefully that year, it was just me and another guy that manage to get irrelevant five credits.

Irrelevant in the sense that no Chemistry, Physice and maths, is that one result.SHM.

But i was not sad cus i knew that my enjoyment at home had just began, i was going to enjoy my so thought one year at home to the fullest.

THE END.....