Chiamaka01: Uduak, for your mind now, you be fine boy.
Na joke, oh. I no want vivian's wahala.

U dey surprise me with ur joke o. Vivian ke. Anywayz, if em no fyn, e no go get access to dey bleep gurls anyhow. Me no get wahala o. Ur free

@rock if u look am well well chichi don dey trip for u o abeg open access huh

Daniel2802:
Talk wentin u fit do oh?

u wan dey challenge me abi,i neva fight on top gal,bt, Rita go break d record...

The rock5555: @vivy gift-welcome babe

Tnks

The rock5555: @chiamaka-me sef go still jokingly break ya fat head.

I wish me sef fit dey beep gurls as u do.any way rock I hail ooo

Rock tinz,na gal make u turn wole:-D

NEMESIS
*******
"Is uduak peter not in the crowd, Guy comot na, i see you"

Chineke me, Julian dey mad jare, dont he see that am not in the mood to stand up, his ajaye behaviour made him to get up and drag me, i was wispering that;
"Guy, abeg my leg no good" but the foolish boy shouted.
"Your leg is healed in Jesus name" and continued dragging me out.

Idowu quickly gave me his palm sandals which was smaller than my leg. I wonder why i was small but have mighty leg.

I quickly ran to the high table and sat with the chairlady who just smiled at me obnoxious of the fact that my legs were white and i
putting on an undersize shoe.

I quickly hide my legs under my chair and bent to look at my sister and the celebrant who both winked at me and gave me the 'ok' sign. You go collect knock if we reach house.

I sat there misearably as the birthday went on, the MC was really doing a great job, i made a mental note to compliment him when we leave there. But he did something that spoiled my mind.

"Can the chairman of this great occasion stand up and give us a speech"

Am i obama that i would be required to make a speech when i was not even informed, chai am finished.

That reminded me of a birthday ceremony i went to while in Jos, then i was in primary three.
*****************************
I went to spend the weekend break with Tina's family, we played alot and watch movies, i felt like staying there forever when her father broke a sad news to us that night before we slept.

"Tomorow is fasting, so prepare yourself very well"

The next morning we brushed and kept on looking at the time, i hated fasting alot, my worms were highlighting me to upgrade their status soon enough but there was nothing for man must wack to wack in the house.

Tina's mother took her and my sister and went to the shop where they prepare to break theirs there while i was left with her father and her two elder brothers.

"Guy birthday dey later, them invite us" Emma, her immediate elder brother informed me as my stomach worms began dancing awilo in esctacy.

I was expecting to break the fast by 12pm then eat and run to the birthday but instead it was five minutes to twelve that Tina's father came out and informed his son to put beans on the fire.

"Beans", God my stomach is finished, the man also brought out four plain sheets filled with writings.

"Emma, this one na letter your father dey write"

"No, na our prayer points be that, of we no pray am finish no food for us"

I touched my wet cheeks before i realised i was shedding tears i regretted not staying back in my father's house or following their Tina to the shop, atleast their prayer would have been shorter.

Nowonder Tina told me that my stomach would dry at home that day and i thought she was just kidding.

We knelt down and began praying every prayer ponits the man called out, at times he would carry biro and add more prayer points.

After sleep prayering coupled with the chronic hunger of my body system the prayers finally came to an end and i stargered weakly before standing like someone with knock knees.

"Guy you go still go birthday because this beans no wan done o"

Chai so birthday dey and i wan kill myself with beans. I quickly rub pomade on my tear stained face and legs, put on a jean three quarter shorts and ran out of the house to the birthday party.

"God, abeg make food never finish o, or i faint"

I knocked on the door and it was opened by a boy munching a huge piece of meat, my heart sank and my mouth watered up.

"Wetin happen again?"

"I come birthday na"

"Sorry birthday don full just dey go house back, people too much"

I was dissapointed and was about turning back when a voice from inside spoke.

"Junior, mayb its our chairman of the birthday,let him come in"

I was glad as i entered to see all eyes on me, i told them i was the chairman and i was taken to the special seat reserved for the person(i later found out that the chairman was supposed to be Emma).

A covered plate was placed in front of me as i opened it to see three fat meats which made my stomach make a jubilating noise.

I wanted grabbing one immediately when they stop me.

"Chairman give speech first before you eat"

Me speech say who die, oya now una go fear speech. I stood up and covered the food, i did not know what to say to the expectant eyes.

I just closed my eyes and said 'In Jesus name', they started laughing while some actually closed theirs, since they wanted speech i gave them prayer speech(all na the same thing abi).

I quickly sat down after saying thats all and began masticating my sulmontous meal without sympathy.

Present day...

I smiled as i recalled that event, i wanted doing the same thing again as i wanted to see their reaction but someone spoiled my show-mr low waist shouted for the whole barracks to hear.

"Chai see our chairman dey wear undersize shoe with white leg to make speech"

All eyes fell on my leg as i muttered.

"God not me again"

To Be Continued...

Vivy Gift:

U dey surprise me with ur joke o. Vivian ke. Anywayz, if em no fyn, e no go get access to dey bleep gurls anyhow. Me no get wahala o. Ur free

@rock if u look am well well chichi don dey trip for u o abeg open access huh

oya chichi; i dey available o. PM if u serious cus am very cerrrrriiiooouuuss.

@hebex-abeg no wish to be like me o. I dey regret now sef.

@akorbabs-what can a lady not make a brudah do.

Make i go sleep jare.

Foxy_Flow: Please support a new writer

https://www.nairaland.com/1461497/life-uam-boy#18549623

Thanks

dats why i luv you. #no-gay

@daniel
wetin i dey do for bush na
@rock
so u want make im leave me dere, u wicked well well oh abi na because i nor gree for u? If i put u in between daniel and hacker.....hmmm na u go carry last oh
@hackerjay
make we go restaurant make u tell me how u become hacker
*take his hand and enter my car before daniel pump out from nowhere*

Choi can't stop laffin...bros u nearly kil mi wit laff..white legs..u bin no rub cream before u leave hauze...btw..I c u 4 dat oda thread Evenin wit Eva by kay

Mehn laugh wan kill me.

[quote author=The rock5555]If you love somebody walk up to him or her and tell them, you no go die-African China.

THE SOUL MATES
**************
I first of all turned my back to check if anyone was behind me but none was. But how would this fine girl actually come to my side just for coming sake.

Maybe she wanted to give me my own slap or wanted to chestise me for eavsdropping at their conversation.

One mind told me to run and i did so with all my might but her sweer voice interupted my flight to Abuja.

"Ehm, sorry for startling you but are you peter"

No, uduak dont answer maybe she is testing your or she might be about peter petrelli in the seasonal movie 'heroes', her english was too sweet and tempting to the ears that am sure queen Elizbeth of England would have gone back to school to study more.

"Ehm, ehm, y.y. I mean no sorry yes, yes, yes, my name na, no is peter, sorry i name is peter" i finall said.

Devil you be liar, so na me go come turn to starmarer infront of fine girl abi, you never see anything yet.

She gave a nervous smile and introduced herself.

"Am Anita, Jennifer's elder sister, actually my sister had been always telling me about you"

What the fucck, so the celebrant had been playing match maker on my head, it all dawn on me that it was a coup to bring me there.

I turned to see my sister and the celebrant smiling and wink at me, they were peeping to see if their match maker job went well, wow, i go deal with una later.

"So how did you recognise me?"

"My sister showed me your picture, it was cool"

Jesus, these girls no fit kill me, so my younger sister don get mind to find babe for me even to the point of kidnapping my ugly picture, ok na two knocks scheduled for her at home.

See as woman just make me polish my grammar self like i be wole soyinka, that day i felt the power of a woman.(Just like a word from ritababe is making to grown up men with hairs on their chin and JT to be on each others neck-hackerjay and daniel be careful before una go kill unaselfs and she would go and marry kingphilip or soam thinking)

Damn, this MC called Julian just interupted my sweet rapport with the girl of my dreams.
Make this girl no insult me, abi na because i short abi i don dey smell sh:it. One of them turned to look at me again while they left. I followed the direction of her eyes and it went to my legs.

Dammmmn, i was wearing bathroom slippers, my legs were white like that of a leprousy patient.

E no go better for all this people wey follow me come this birthday, na how i go carry slippers dey waka and nobody tell me, see disgrace now. Mtcheeew.

"Guy una wicked o, so una allow me to wear slippers come this kind birthday"

"The chairman is Uduak Peter, clap for him

guy if u kill me wit laf hw u want make i take continue the tori now

Vivy Gift:

I no go any whr o. Na still dis thread I dey I just enter ghost mood. Missed u too

so u don join CACM group ba?no try am again o

Rita i don dare u today where the wrapper wey we go enter de

Rock nawa for oooo.infact u sef u don fling my BP like javelin.
Tanks shaa,u dey try.keep it up dude

Rock you got me lauffin wit dis ur last update...mehn its damn funny and interesting..but wait oo were u ova excited dat u forgot to apply body cream..so you're now d chairman of white leg lols..but.you for just hala me from NASME BARRACK NA make i help you disgrace dat yeye low-waist boy...and besides,ya buddy Julian no try oo him wan just fall ya hands self......


Anyway sha....we need more update bro




gud mawning people

ritababe:
@hackerjay
make we go restaurant make u tell me how u become hacker
*take his hand and enter my car before daniel pump out from nowhere*

Daniel,u are passin ur boundary ooo,shey nah by force,leave Rita 4 me ooo

@ritababe-so as u no gree for me i think i rest, no try me o b4 i add captrain sinzu to ur suitors list

@captain sinzu-person dey forget na btw, kay na my oga na, i dey feel his story too much.

@akorbabs-no die wit laf abeg, oya drink kunu small.

@kingphilip-cont d story o, no die joor. Btw wetin be CACM

@ifeco mumito-thanks man..

Gud morning y'all. Make i go brush come back, maybe by then oga hackerjay(if him and ritababe neva dey do adult play under sheets) go come do prev on preachers son.

Still i ROCK

Spactacle: Rock you got me lauffin wit dis ur last update...mehn its damn funny and interesting..but wait oo were u ova excited dat u forgot to apply body cream..so you're now d chairman of white leg lols..but.you for just hala me from NASME BARRACK NA make i help you disgrace dat yeye low-waist boy...and besides,ya buddy Julian no try oo him wan just fall ya hands self......


Anyway sha....we need more update bro




gud mawning people

I no dey enter Nasme barracks o, i dont know anyone there. But no worry, if i land for makurdi again i go holla u

hmmmm i don`t just know what to say, infact you`re 2qood¡

The rock5555: @skyscraper-ow so na ur second moniker be that.

yes boss¡ this is my secret handle|

ritababe: @hackerjay
make we go restaurant make u tell me how u become hacker
*take his hand and enter my car before daniel pump out from nowhere*

I alight frm the car and giv daniel a beating he will neva 4get wit shawn micheal strategy...

I left daniel lyin down in pain,as i open d front seat car,and warn Rita-babe 2 stay awy frm Daniel..

Rita stat d car and we drive 2 d resturant...

Hackerjay: nah naw u jux dey confess,anyway, u are lucky am still single...

lolz

bro, u'r gud

We need more oh

kingphilip: Rita i don dare u today where the wrapper wey we go enter de

make una warn dis bros make im no dey quote the whole writeup oh or else .....or else .....or else..........

Kasala don burst 4 una head be dat.

Foxy_Flow:

What are you doing here?

See, to be candid with you, you should spend less time in reading people's work. Work more on your own. Stuffs like this are distractions.

Wetin be ya own na. Oga foxee go ur side go siddon jare.