A friend once told me offspring from broken families (i.e divorced parents) usually end up with broken marriages themselves. I have heard this from people even the older generations but how true is this theory? Is it just a myth or fact? From logical perspective you might assume that relationship decisions made by children from broken marriage would likely be influenced by what they learned from their parents. As they say; what you don't have you can't give. If we judge using the the American society, it's usual to see 3 generations of single parents especially single mothers. This trend is gradually creeping into the Nigerian society so what are the odds marrying someone from broken family?

Lies from hell.

Nt true. Infact, 110% lies.

#Talking from personal experience#

not so true, not so false. 'Life is what you make it not what your parents did' if you fall to the inclination that ur parents' past will affect you then it might, but if you flush all the past bitter experience/events and focus positively on your life you see things happening to you differently.
i ve seen people from good home enter university, become nuisance and vice versa.
with all due respect I use Barack Obama as an example, he didn't grow up with both parents but he build a happy family of his own today.

"we create our own realities"

There are statistics that show that children whose parents divorced, are more likely to go through the process of divorce themselves.

However, I PERSONALLY would like to add that a broken home is not only broken when people divorce. I have a broader defintion of "broken home". A home, for me, is ALSO broken when parents don't love each other, don't respect one another, constantly argue and shout, abuse each other verbally and / or physically, don't care for each other and so on and so forth ....

And also here, the likelihood to have an unhappy marriage is for children from "broken homes" (according to the wider definition of broken), higher than for children who were lucky enough to enjoy a happy home and therefore to have role-models from whom they could learn how to manage a successful relationship.

Fallacy dear!

carefreewannabe: There are statistics that show that children whose parents divorced, are more likely to go through the process of divorce themselves.

However, I PERSONALLY would like to add that a broken home is not only broken when people divorce. I have a broader defintion of "broken home". A home, for me, is ALSO broken when parents don't love each other, don't respect one another, constantly argue and shout, abuse each other verbally and / or physically, don't care for each other and so on and so forth ....

And also here, the likelihood to have an unhappy marriage is for children from "broken homes" (according to the wider definition of broken), higher than for children who were lucky enough to enjoy a happy home and therefore to have role-models from whom they could learn how to manage a successful relationship.

Good perspective. Also let me add; It is a known fact that the custom of marriage in this part of the world dictates that before you marry into a family, your family investigates the other family the potential partner is coming from. Why do you think they do that? Are these not the basis that we have deviated from that is causing the increase in divorce? May be the theory is not always true....But is it not a fact that the rate of divorce is increasing in Nigeria compared to what it used to be? I have seen a single mother indoctrinating her daughter from her kindergarten years not to take rubbish from any man,this was as a result of her own experience so the girl grew up being mean to all men. I have seen a divorced woman refer to all men as "bastards" in front of her kids, the kids grew up thinking all men her bastards. I have seen a boy pick up beating of women from his dad, if his dad can do that it means it's okay. To little kids, the parents are the gods they see and the formative years are foundation on which adult characters are built on. It is like religion, 97% of us are in a particular religion now because that was what we were born into, it shows the influence of the family.

Goldenboy007:

Good perspective. Also let me add; It is a known fact that the custom of marriage in this part of the world dictates that before you marry into a family, your family investigates the other family the potential partner is coming from. Why do you think they do that? Are these not the basis that we have deviated from that is causing the increase in divorce? May be the theory is not always true....But is it not a fact that the rate of divorce is increasing in Nigeria compared to what it used to be? I have seen a single mother indoctrinating her daughter from her kindergarten years not to take rubbish from any man,this was as a result of her own experience so the girl grew up being mean to all men. I have seen a divorced woman refer to all men as "bastards" in front of her kids, the kids grew up thinking all men her bastards. I have seen a boy pick up beating of women from his dad, if his dad can do that it means it's okay. To little kids, the parents are the gods they see and the formative years are foundation on which adult characters are built on. It is like religion, 97% of us are in a particular religion now because that was what we were born into, it shows the influence of the family.

I think people tend to divorce more simply because they CAN. Of course the economic and educational emanciaption of women has made it possible for women to leave their husbands if they, for a reason or another, think it's necessary. And the bahviour and attitude of some husbands, on the other hand, reinforces this option. I'm happy you referred to fathers and mothers as the cause for divorce rates. It takes TWO mature people to a happy marriage.

Apart from some religious beliefs, I think that to divorce is the lesser evil than to live with someone who makes you constantly unhappy and in the worst case eventually sick. Yet, I believe that MOST people don't want to divorce. We all wish to live happily ever after.

I believe it's very true. And I have seen it 1st hand

Not necessarily so. With your hands you forge your reality.

"Wolfinger's research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families."

Source: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/26714.php

not true.

..correction..when they move near Nigeria women..they get broken (no offense)

It's partially true. One truth is that children from broken homes are usually affected psychologically and emotionally and this most times affects their attitudes or behaviour towards others latter in their lives..
However, an individual might learn a life lesson from his or her parents broken home and determine to make his or her own home work.

Its not a curse, its just that they'll also find it very easy to divorce, especially if their parent never showed to them that they regret separating, and even while separated the children still has all they need, so they'll say wots d big?

True for most of them.

Due to the psychological and emotional stress, they tend to be more suspicious of every guy/girl they meet. Once they notice just a minute characteristics (good or bad) of their parents on their intending partners...they get scared and give up.

Some of them swear never to be like their parents. They promise to find themselves a perfect partner and make a perfect home. They end up meeting a normal partner (cos nobody is perfect). They get disappointed and problem arises.

They grow up believing their parents hate them for not making their marriage work. This hatred and distrust is transferred to their partners. Problems starts.

However, those who are lucky, focused and bit relaxed make the best families.

i love the approach you guys have given to the it, rather than forbid it or wish it away i see you all analyzing it logically. We have come to an era where we cannot dump all life's inadequacies at the feet of the devil, some problems are plainly psychological rather than spiritual. The real deal is to be able to assess the impact of family upbringing in your spouse. There should be a paradigm shift from the days where you choose your partner based on Shakespearean emotion sentiments rather now you should become scientific in settling down with a mate.

Infact if there's anything like 1000%. Do not marry a girl from a broken home.

Warning: Do not marry a girl from broken home. She'll transfer the bitterness and anger to you especially those raised by single mother.

Very untrue!

The odds are very high that it's true .... especially if yhu go ahead to make the same mistakes yhur parents made...

Goodlady:
Very untrue!

Broken home is a shiny red flag on the female side, you probably from one judging by your activities on NL
You’ve got nice photo, I bet it’s likely you, reminds me of stubborn ruthless greedy Nigerian girls ready to give it to anybody hot! hot! hot! hot! hot!

Statistically it is true. In one way or the other they are psychologically damaged and may exhibit those traits in their marriages.