[quote author=Nonso23]
There is a difference between loose funds and savings. She doesn't have loose funds; she has savings and savings is simply unavailable for loans to anyone for fear of bad debt. So all in all she is not telling a lie. It's simply a case of 'I have the money but cannot release it'.[/quote

It's not everybody that wud understand it the way you do.For the bf to ask for that kind of money,it shows that he is aware of his gf financial capabilities.He knows she had that kind of money to spare.Her refusal to give him might be misunderstood!Do you realise there are people that naturally cannot say no to requests esp when they can help?This lady wants to help,I think the bf should swallow his pride and sign the damn papers.The relationship is just 5montgs old!It's still too young and fragile to start investing on without security!!

Idowuogbo: ^ I see ya indirect o!

1-0

you dey jonse o, how could you possibly conclude that I was referring to you? Na wa for you o.

Btw, no be me and you dey load bus for mushin? Since when you turn abroad people? Abeg dey well o.

Even if he refuses to pay back after signing the IOU, it would serve as evidence incase she tells someone she once lent her bf money but he refused to pay, without that agreement, it would just be her words and trust me, when you tell most people things like that, they often take it with a pinch of salt, many would even call her all sorts of names for handing him such money.

Inshort eh, that agreement will serve many purposes so its not just about getting the money back.

Make I go sleep jare, I'll let y'all know how it eventually turns out.

Nonso23:
Judging from cocoa's later post with richer details on how the previous bf scammed the lady of 800k, i'm prompted to ask.
Could it be possible that the woman in question is attracting men to herself by showing off her affluence??
Yes, there are people who can't say no to requests (probably she's one) but this is where the 'working on herself' part comes in. Inability to say no even when it's the right thing to say will make a woman a pushover in marriage which is not healthy.
Another thing is: from the details on ground, the guy earns probably 40-50k (max), what collateral can he possibly have to merit the 400k loan judging from his earning power??
TBH, there are guys who would sign the IOU, make good of the money, pay back and make her life a living hell.

She's not the type that shows off, she's just very soft hearted and this has cost her a lot as people tend to take her for a ride.

If you get close to her, you'd know she's a giver cos she's always willing to lend a helping hand(that's not showing off na) but my dear, the boyfriend said "lend me" maybe if he said "help me with" who knows? She may have come up with something even if not all.

She's just taking precautions cos I believe she's learnt that business and love doesn't mix, according to her, he didn't even go into details of what he wanted to use the money for until it started causing issues, just why can't people see that this lady did nothing wrong? Na wa o.

Nna mehn!! 5months, 400K. Oboi! I no do oh.

Kai! I even thought they've been dating for like 2years.

freecocoa: Even if he refuses to pay back after signing the IOU, it would serve as evidence incase she tells someone she once lent her bf money but he refused to pay, without that agreement, it would just be her words and trust me, when you tell most people things like that, they often take it with a pinch of salt, many would even call her all sorts of names for handing him such money.

Inshort eh, that agreement will serve many purposes so its not just about getting the money back.

Make I go sleep jare, I'll let y'all know how it eventually turns out.

If it's about that she should record their voice conversations.

[quote author=Nonso23]
Judging from cocoa's later post with richer details on how the previous bf scammed the lady of 800k, i'm prompted to ask.
Could it be possible that the woman in question is attracting men to herself by showing off her affluence??
Yes, there are people who can't say no to requests (probably she's one) but this is where the 'working on herself' part comes in. Inability to say no even when it's the right thing to say will make a woman a pushover in marriage which is not healthy.
Another thing is: from the details on ground, the guy earns probably 40-50k (max), what collateral can he possibly have to merit the 400k loan judging from his earning power??
TBH, there are guys who would sign the IOU, make good of the money, pay back and make her living hell.[/quote
Nonso,the issue here only about trust.Trust is earned as it has got a whole lot to do with ones's personality.Clearly,it shows she doesn't trust his ability to pay back and on time. IMO,a salary of 40k is a NO NO!!
I guess that's why she suggested a collateral(although she knows he might not have anything tangible to present).There is absolutely nothing wrong in suggesting a written agreement.Sometimes,the things we do for love can be silly!!

Iaz93: Nna mehn!! 5months, 400K. Oboi! I no do oh.

Kai! I even thought they've been dating for like 2years.

Exactly!Even two years relationship sef still get k leg wen it comes to money matter.People change abeg.Na that time the guy go fit dey yarn"is it because of 400k?"

Personally I'd be angry..I once needed a quick loan to pay my sister's fees and I called my ex(we were still friends) and told her abt my situation..she had some funds in Fixed deposit which she liquidated(she only told me after she had sent me the funds) and it was 250k..she didn't ask for agreement not to talk of collateral only when I'd pay back and I paid back before d due date..Now if an ex could take my words,hw much more my current gf..then at a time,my gf needed 450k to sort her accomodation issue out and she asked me to loan her(she felt I had but I had put money in some tinz which were yet to return d funds),how would d ladies here feel if you were my gf and I asked you to sign an agreement and even with Collateral b4 I gave u the funds? I helped her with what I had which was close to half d amount and she sourced d difference frm elsewhere

I won't break up with her and I'll sign d agreement but every dime she borrows from me from then on comes with an agreement and collateral..what is good for d goose is good for d gander

lynpetra:

Exactly!Even two years relationship sef still get k leg wen it comes to money matter.People change abeg.Na that time the guy go fit dey yarn"is it because of 400k?"

Yes. Exactly...

Pple are funny oh..now it's dat they've dated for just 5 months but a girl can ask a guy for a loan 1 month into d r/ship once they start having sex..ladies travel to different cities to meet guys they just met without the fear he'd use them for ritual(dat's equally trust)

On the auto section,pple buy cars worth millions of naira frm Inspired and they've never met..just phone calls and he gives his words he'd deliver and pple take that but when it comes to someone you love,it's different rules..

I have personally done business with someone in Delta state worth over #2m and this guy has just my phone number and bank details..he personally told me his best friend scammed him of #8m but he still trusted me enough to send his money and that I'd send the goods he paid for..there are still people in Naija whose words is their bond and it means so much to them than even a signed IOU

I think they are in a toxic relationship and if I were d guy,I'd sign the IOU if I needed d money badly but after that,every dime she asks for would need to be signed for

If he really mean to pay back, why not sign with all the requirements, since he know that he will repay the loan? Yes, the lady or a lady can give him more than that free of non returnable or give without writing anything and at no interest rate, just for trust.

But this one said it must be under this conditions, may be she has seen or heard lots of problems coming from things like this. So please let her guide her hard earned money well.

Love_Decay:

this changes the entire formula.

1. He is teacher - what kinda of school . British American, Greensprings... ?
2. Are they in the same social class - personally , i dont date chicks above or below my social class....

If the guy teaches in one of those schools where they pay, 13K/month. She should ask for details of the business, a collateral wont be enough in this case.

There has to be proof of life' so to speak.

I doubt those kinda chicks would date you

@ Freecocoa tell your friend to listen to her instincts. If she feels uncomfy about the situation, then she should not even lend him the money because she won't see it again, unless she is prepared for that. It seems like they are not on same level and i feel like once he gets the money, it will open gateway for him to be asking more money. This is why it's difficult dating someone not in your social status(below it) esp as a woman.

freecocoa: Okay update thingy, make people wey dey here dey speak english continue, as if anybody plucks money from trees that they should hand it out anyhow, ehen where was I?

So homegal came calling today, Boyfy came to meet her saying he loves her and still needs the money, truth is, he couldn't borrow from others cos they gave excuses bla bla bla and he doesn't want to go to the bank (interest issues and what not) the business he wants to invest the money in, is one of importing a container of electronics(there are others involved as well).

Their relationship is 5 months old, the dude is a teacher in a private secondary school(he's doing that but still on the lookout for something better, he has his Msc btw) and they don't live in the same cities.

Now she says she still maintains that he has to sign but he can forget about collateral, he is still forming "I don't believe you don't trust me" and says if she can't give him on trust levels then she should forget about it, my friend dey get double mind but I'm still telling her to stand her grounds.

P.S I didn't have all the details earlier(sorry).

Seriously I dey feel/pity the homeboy but mehn, the homeboy should sign the damn contract. He even got an Msc, he should know better. And to the girl, its not a good idea to give up on the collateral. Because the technicalities of what makes up a contract is, offer and acceptance. Here, the offer is the 400K and the acceptance is the collateral. Where there are no collateral, then he should accept to pay interest on the offer to serve as the acceptance and all should be within a stipulated period (date of payback). In the absence of either an offer or acceptance or pay back date, then there was no contract abinitio even if they signed anything. The money she gives her will pass as a goodwill money (dash money).

Dat guy is a clown! D rltship is 2 young 4 him to bring in trust. She should stand her ground 'I love you, but I need my money and if you are sure u will pay, signing should not b an issue ' pple are probably telling him dat she will give in dats y he's still using dat trick. Abeg leave matter for matthias. Abeg, d rltship is too young for her to b having hypertension, if he brks it off, den she should know he's a golddigger. I know of many lazy men who live to scam women even with all their education. As for those comparing it to women requesting, he is BORROWING! If he was asking her to give then dats anoda issue, bt to borrow, she has every damn ryt to ask 4 a written agreement. If anyone decides to lend without an agreement, deir cup of tea, she wants an agreement, her decision, d guy no gree sign, he's a golddigger, he asks for agreement for everything he gives her later on he needs to grow up cos he told her borrow! SIMPLE!!!

Freecocoa , I would advice your friend not to loan the guy the money with or without collateral. Money introduced too early in a relationship either by the man or the woman often ends up destroying it. I have been down this road not saying everyone is the same but sometimes people do have intention of paying back but things may not work out as planned and then the business goes bad. I gave an ex 1mm once for a business and next thing the guy started acting up and at the end of the day I had to break up and till today my money enter voice mail. So my dear if you know you can't easily let go of the money let him go please because if you loan him the money and he can't pay the relationship will probably end anyway as you will start to resent him. Just my own humble thots .

[quote author=lynpetra][/quote]

Very good reasoning here. I dint notice the relationship was ONLY 5 MONTHS OLD

Please this relationship is too young to be involved in money lending. Please let her find some other excuse.

Shokoloko:

Very good reasoning here. I dint notice the relationship was ONLY 5 MONTHS OLD

Please this relationship is too young to be involved in money lending. Please let her find some other excuse.

My dear,ibabes got to shine eyes like showki.I no fit give bf money o without collateral after him don F(k me day and night finish.I no get brothers?

homesteady:
Was he planning not to return the money? To hell with him jare! There is no love in money!

Exactly. Must he borrow money from Op without documentation since they are not married? Why must he be annoyed since he does not have the money and want to borrow.

Since he is arrogant and as a big boy, he should go get the money himself.