ndidibabe: I'm married and my husband gives me a lot of respect for declining not to come to his house to 'mess' myself up while we were courting despite all his pleads. Now, he enjoys different delicacies.

Wislet: Don't talk ignorantly.

Our mothers did not go living with or cooking daily in their husbands' houses. As soon as it was determined she was wife material (especially by the man's mother or sisters), a visit was paid to her parents' house and her dowry paid. She was made a WIFE without much ado... And not the warped mentality of the men of today who think a woman should sleep with them or reside in their house with them or be their cook. To prove WHAT? Is that the way to prove it? And after all that is done, what next? Isn't it the same men that will see a girl that refused to do all that/refused to give them the time of day and quickly dumped the 'maid' who they successfully deceived(as they are deceiving some girls here) and married the new one? And later you will hear funny tales of "my boyfriend dumped me after I did everything for him"...bla bla bla...

In this time and age, any lady that thinks doing all that will land her a husband is not being sincere with herself. You wash, sweep, cook for, sleep with a man who hasn't seen it fit to visit your father's house and put paid to your services for life, and you are not ashamed? Yet it is your 'mates' who did far less who keep sending you their wedding invitations every other week. And he keeps deceiving you with "When I am settled/financially 100% I'll go the next step".

My dear, if he says he's not ready yet, why don't you make him want to speed it up and work harder so he can come to your place faster? If you wait AT YOUR FATHER's HOUSE he will be hungry enough for you to want to pay your bride price quicker before he loses you. Won't that result to working harder? Then you will have value in his eyes. Sleeping with him everyday, cooking, washing, etc are all a WIFE's duties. If you are doing all those for him, why would he remember you aren't his wife yet? Why would he want to work hard for you?

There is a law governing everything in this life. As long as you keep breaking the rules for any, the more its fulfilment eludes you.

Not doing all those things will not make him think you aren't wife material. But, should he think you aren't 'serious' because you don't sleep with him etc, please dust your clothes and move on! He is the one who is not husband material. When your man comes, from his character and attitude toward you, you will offer a thanksgiving to God for being wise enough to run away from that one you almost made the mistake of your life with.

Do not deceive yourself, and do not be deceived.

You can get more wisdom from your elderly mothers (Elderly because even some young mothers of today deceive their children to pursue men to their detriment).

GentleMimi:
Hey,babe chillax,no be quarrel. Let us assume that it is not all girls that bleep their guys.If u sleep with ur bobo,and still go ahead to cook for him....wetin come remain na?

ndidibabe: I'm married and my husband gives me a lot of respect for declining not to come to his house to 'mess' myself up while we were courting despite all his pleads. Now, he enjoys different delicacies.

ndidibabe: I'm married and my husband gives me a lot of respect for declining not to come to his house to 'mess' myself up while we were courting despite all his pleads. Now, he enjoys different delicacies.

Tbken: just see how you terming anada lady,s post rubbish all becos u cannot cook...your type wil even requests for maids that will be cooking when married which will make u cry river when d guy start bleeping her....cooking is suppose to be the first thing to learn from ur fadas house...or was it like mother like daughter....

lynpetra: The fact that it worked well for you doesn't mean it wud work for the next person...

ndidibabe: Smallie, the only advice I can give you is to stop cooking for that guy. I know you are sleeping with him too but you need to stop. Your eyes will be clear when he dumps you for a responsible girl. No responsible girl goes to a man's house to cook for him when they are not married. So many things can happen from there....

babyosisi: Well I did cook for my man before marriage whenever I visited
He was a fiancé then not boyfriend sha
I ate the food too so no big deal
But the one I didn't do was wash his clothes or sweep his house
Love no push me go dat side to be doing boi boi
Na only cooking me I do

ndidibabe: I'm married and my husband gives me a lot of respect for declining to come to his house to 'mess' myself up while we were courting despite all his pleads. Now, I dish him with different delicacies. Most girls are not just smart. Why will you give a man 'everything' before marriage? Later, they will be complaining that the guy broke their heart. Why won't he? He is a young guy, a bachelor! He needs to experiment. It's your choice if you choose to be used as an experiment...

Tbken: Did he sleep with you before marriage?? Be sincere

HARDDON:

so much for an advise!

what has gone into ladies like this?

that you tuk all the wrong turns and got dumped by all the wrong kinks and finally decided to settle solo makes you the worse gurl to goto for any form of real life advise! dont corrupt young gurls' minds

their destinies are mos def different from yours..

To the real gurls out there, LET LOVE LEAD..... you cant but find him

lynpetra: At d end of the day,it all boils down to the kind of partner you are with.Some wudnt mind because they know they can never marry you,some men don't care because they think its not all that important,some wud use that as a yardstick to measure a partner's character,some just don't like to be pampered as dey cook for themselves,while some get one babe house wey dem dey go chop clean mouth

You are always a delight to be read. So natural, so African. I salute whoever groomed you into a real woman.



Back in school,I don't do no Shiite for any man except you beg for it.But now?Omo I no fit use my hand fall my hand o.Just like I wud remind my guy anytime him head knock small,"Oga u dey block road for some potential husbands wey better pass you,don't push me over the edge"

ndidibabe: God forbid! Some of us are just too smart to make that happen. This is not a 'born again' thing...

lynpetra: Agbaya,I hear you.Since we never marry,me and u still dey d same category.

deavicky: i'm sure u will not be a good wife, because of pride
.

ndidibabe: I understand you. You think I was I referring to age when I called you Smallie? No, I meant your brain. I am sure you are older than me but honestly, I have gone far.....

joyidarauko: I can not cook for any man that is not my husband , so even if my finace no cooking but more love and caring and no sex , till marriage, cooking for u means wasting my time cause if u change your mind by not dating me again I will be struggling for nothing , and I will use my precious time and cook for you , na na na not in my book check the next niegbour

No vacancy

asab0234: Honestly, i use to cook for my hubby b4 we got married, and guess what he told his sister? "i'll rather marry a girl that cooks for me, washes my clothes n takes care of me like a mother, than marry a liability"

Cashio: ur oyibo explains ur kinda pesin betta

Tbken: Did he sleep with you before marriage?? Be sincere

lynpetra: I bet you have..Na internet we dey.

GustavoFring: Well I live with my girlfriend and she doesn't cook, nobody go chop that day so...

ndidibabe: Chill, Iya pete. It's never too late to get it right. At this your old age, I expect you to know better. If it is true that you have graduated from the University, why not use your spare time for something productive e.g enroll for a master degree rather than trying to be a wife that you are not. If eventually you get married to him, you will have ample time to perform a wife's role.

deavicky: liar but remember God