I had a serious affair with a girl for long time, for some serious reason I thought that this will not work then I got married to one of my friend. It has been few years now but I still can't forget her and her thoughts are all over my head always.
She is still unmarried or not engaged yet, but really angry with me. We talk sometimes but not like love birds anymore.
I like my wife but don't love her in actually. I am thinking of staying away from my wife so that I do not spoil her life anymore.
Am I thinking right, or should I continue this relationship the way it is. I think that I am not doing justice/fair with all three of us currently.
Please help.

store_ss: I had a serious affair with a girl for long time, for some serious reason I thought that this will not work then I got married to one of my friend. It has been few years now but I still can't forget her and her thoughts are all over my head always.
She is still unmarried or not engaged yet, but really angry with me. We talk sometimes but not like love birds anymore.
I like my wife but don't love her in actually. I am thinking of staying away from my wife so that I do not spoil her life anymore.
Am I thinking right, or should I continue this relationship the way it is. I think that I am not doing justice/fair with all three of us currently.
Please help.

@op a girl presented your case on IFA's table

He would get back to you soonest

y are u tripping@ OP?, u brought d problem upon ur self, wen u knew u still had feelings for her, u went ahead to marry another person u are not half as much in love as u are wit her?, and u still have d nerve to continue communicating wit her!. My brother take a trip to d monastery and clear ur head!, den Come back and take a decision, either u stay with urs truly *mrs wife* or divorce her and go back to miss broken heart!. *Some pple will never learn. mtcheeeeeeeew

Op, you taking medicine after death. There's no drastic action you can take now that will not affect some person really bad. You are married, stick with that! The worst you can do is be in a relationship due to sympathy. Why did you split with your 'love' and use your 'wife' as a rebound? Its your mess bro. Deal with it.

laivwire: Op, you taking medicine after death. There's no drastic action you can take now that will not affect some person really bad. You are married, stick with that! The worst you can do is be in a relationship due to sympathy. Why did you split with your 'love' and use your 'wife' as a rebound? Its your mess bro. Deal with it.

best advice

This one is strong

Firstly OP GOD punish u,why will u get married without love,what did u like abt ur wife that made you marry her,why the sudden regret now cos u wanna cheat.Abegi Chop Chicken and die

do you have issues with God? Ask God na

Dis tin cald "marriage" e haf tire me! Ppl like u discourage ppl&make it look like a curse rada dan a blessing! I don't pity u OP, its ur wife I pity.

#TeamSingle&Free#

store_ss: I had a serious affair with a girl for long time, for some serious reason I thought that this will not work then I got married to one of my friend. It has been few years now but I still can't forget her and her thoughts are all over my head always.
She is still unmarried or not engaged yet, but really angry with me. We talk sometimes but not like love birds anymore.
I like my wife but don't love her in actually. I am thinking of staying away from my wife so that I do not spoil her life anymore.
Am I thinking right, or should I continue this relationship the way it is. I think that I am not doing justice/fair with all three of us currently.
Please help.

I hope you are not husband to the wife on the other thread who cannot trust her hubby anymore. This is just sad and i feel sorry for your wife and you. But you have no one but yourself to blame and knowingly dragged someone into your confusion. Why did you use your wife like this? WHY? you used her as an emotional band aid you want to keep on using that girl as a drug for quick fix. *sighs*

From this i see you don't like facing yourself and telling yourself the truth but now you are coming out of the closet. Closet isn't for gays only everyone who tells the truth to him or herself comes out of the closet. For me this is a decision you alone have to make don't ask us we can't wear your shoes. This is your life actually. This is reality and its alot about tough decision but what about your wife? is she O.K with leaving her? Have you talked with her about how you feel? Are you considering her feelings? Try Radical honesty with yourself first and your wife you will have all the answers you are looking for. Don't forget God talk to him bare it all because you can't impress him with falsehood. He knows you flaws plus thoughts and all.

dahmie2013: Dis tin cald "marriage" e haf tire me! Ppl like u discourage ppl&make it look like a curse rada dan a blessing! I don't pity u OP, its ur wife I pity.

#TeamSingle&Free#

Don't be discouraged just learn, people like him who are honest enough to tell you where they feel they went wrong show people like you the right way to go. You don't have to be in a classroom before you can learn. Life and living and choosing is the real school.

andromida:

I hope you are not husband to the wife on the other thread who cannot trust her hubby anymore. This is just sad and i feel sorry for your wife and you. But you have no one but yourself to blame and knowingly dragged someone into your confusion. Why did you use your wife like this? WHY? you used her as an emotional band aid you want to keep on using that girl as a drug for quick fix. *sighs*

From this i see you don't like facing yourself and telling yourself the truth but now you are coming out of the closet. Closet isn't for gays only everyone who tells the truth to him or herself comes out of the closet. For me this is a decision you alone have to make don't ask us we can't wear your shoes. This is your life actually. This is reality and its alot about tough decision but what about your wife? is she O.K with leaving her? Have you talked with her about how you feel? Are you considering her feelings? Try Radical honesty with yourself first and your wife you will have all the answers you are looking for. Don't forget God talk to him bare it all because you can't impress him with falsehood. He knows you flaws plus thoughts and all.

Thank you andromida for response. The thread you mentioned is not my wife, trust me.
Regarding discussion with her about being separate, yes we did talk openly. Since she is tired of my this behavior (I don't cheat her for any other women or for anything, its only about my behavior when I get my ex's thoughts I cant handle it very well and gets upset and silent by myself). She is ready to be separate if that is in good for both of us but I know that she love me a lot and care for me too much, which I have no problem for that at all. Also there is another truth that I can never merry my ex (due to some genuine personal reasons). So if we get separated at all then we all will be living our life separately on their own world. Now my dilemma is, by doing this am I not loosing a great partner? If I dont, then am I not spoiling her life by being with herself and not giving her what a proud wife deserve?

store_ss:
Thank you andromida for response. The thread you mentioned is not my wife, trust me.
Regarding discussion with her about being separate, yes we did talk openly. Since she is tired of my this behavior (I don't cheat her for any other women or for anything, its only about my behavior when I get my ex's thoughts I cant handle it very well and gets upset and silent by myself). She is ready to be separate if that is in good for both of us but I know that she love me a lot and care for me too much, which I have no problem for that at all. Also there is another truth that I can never merry my ex (due to some genuine personal reasons). So if we get separated at all then we all will be living our life separately on their own world. Now my dilemma is, by doing this am I not loosing a great partner? If I dont, then am I not spoiling her life by being with herself and not giving her what a proud wife deserve?

So you know you have this great woman and you want to throw it all away because of thoughts of your ex whom you cannot marry?

This issue you have with your wife I believe its all you. You are not being real with yourself, you were not real with yourself before you married that's why you are where you are now and you still are not real with yourself right now.

Why not decide yes I mean actually decide to open your heart to your wife and see how things go. Yeah you don't love her and I know love cannot be forced but you chose her. Accept the truth that your ex is your past and your wife is your future. You may want to be bold now but me thinks you should have been bold and truthful before the marriage and told her what you are telling her now.

Consciously decide to love her, give your marriage a chance and see if love can still grow.

Love is a choice. Its chosing what you want more over what you want.....you either choose to stay in love or to fall out of it........so op who do you want more? Your wife or ex......

addictiv: Love is a choice. Its chosing what you want more over what you want.....you either choose to stay in love or to fall out of it........so op who do you want more? Your wife or ex......

I dont know, I think I am damm confused and so many thoughts are in my head that I can not think anything further.
Earlier due to some situations I decided to separate my way but she never went off from my inside, I dont know if this is my love or attraction or selfishness or lust or mirage for my ex, but thats what is happening with me always.
I dont have any strong reason to be away from my wife, she is innocent, lovely, knows everything, but its all about me that I am not here with her. Either I am sick or I need some psychological help to come out of this situation.

store_ss: I had a serious affair with a girl for long time, for some serious reason I thought that this will not work then I got married to one of my friend. It has been few years now but I still can't forget her and her thoughts are all over my head always.
She is still unmarried or not engaged yet, but really angry with me. We talk sometimes but not like love birds anymore.
I like my wife but don't love her in actually. I am thinking of staying away from my wife so that I do not spoil her life anymore.
Am I thinking right, or should I continue this relationship the way it is. I think that I am not doing justice/fair with all three of us currently.
Please help.

Mr Man before you make someone else's life miserable, YOU NEED TO STEP UP AND GET YOURSELF CHECKED. What the hell is wrong with you? You have a Wife for God's sake. Listen again, A WIFE, and not a girlfriend. No matter how beautiful or charming your ex was, that isnt enough to make your mind skydive from your conjugal responsibility.
I can help you with your psychic reading and tell you what steps to take to be on the right track if thats so hard for you to do.
I just need to know your birth month and day.