Suppose that you broke your leg in in an accident and had to use crutches in order to move around. As the days pass you'll find yourself getting more and more used to them and because of your injury you certainly won't be able to walk without them.

Now imagine how you'd feel if upon waking up one day you couldn't find your crutches. You will certainly feel irritated and maybe a little angry.

You will probably ask everyone in the house to help you find them and you won’t be able to move until you find them again.

Now the question is, do you love your crutches? Of course not, you just need them until you recover. The same goes for relationship dependency: where you think that you love a person while the truth is that you just need him because of your emotional wounds.

Relationship dependency is the case where someone gets involved in a relationship just because he is in need of a partner and not because he truly loves that person.

What's really bad is that most of the relationships people go for are a result of pure dependency and not real love and That’s why many of them end with break-ups.

Back to the previous example of the crutches. What do you think you will do when your legs heal and become able to move around normally again? You'll just put your crutches away somewhere and never think about them anymore.

The same goes for a relationship that was based on such a need. When you fall in love with someone in order to escape from a bad mood that you are experiencing or because of an unsolved problem then you'll most probably find that you no longer need that partner as soon this bad mood goes away.

When we face a lot of problems our need for someone to help us out and to take care of us become much bigger and that’s why most relationships that start at times like these are just a result of dependency and not real love. That’s why some of them may end with break-ups.

When you experience a time where you feel bad or disappointed then be aware that you are more vulnerable to falling in love with someone that you don’t really love. Just knowing this fact is enough to help you control your emotions until you get over your problems.

How to Pick a Partner

- Beware of the difference between love and need: Take special care not to fall in love with someone because you are feeling vulnerable or in need of help. It'd be far better to only get into relationships when you are feeling fine in order to make sure that you really love the person
- Have a vision: If the guy who lacked self confidence in the previous example knew for sure that he is going to develop self-confidence sometime in the future he would've guessed that his relation will terminate sooner or later. So when you pick a partner make sure to pick someone who can sustain the personal changes you are going to undergo in the future.
- Know more about relationship dependency: Understand the difference between love and relationship dependency. This is the only way you can avoid falling in the trap of loving someone just because you need him.


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