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When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by adexsimply(m): 7:56am On Jul 01, 2014
I started making decisions for myself when I was around 14. I realized my dad(who has an ego the size of an elephant ) was impeding my ambitions by what he called PATIENCE.
I seldom make mistakes. I listen to people's advices of course(though I don't usually follow them ). So I allow my siblings to make their own choices too then I sponsor whatever they intend to do. Unfortunately, they don't seem to make the right decisions but I allow them to go ahead if I know their poor decisions won't be disastrous (I always know) and try to guide them without appearing too bossy angry
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Ezedon(m): 8:07am On Jul 01, 2014
At d age of 18, a child should be allowed to make a choice but being over protective is too bad, all they need is to prepare them with the NECESSARY INFORMATION that will guide them before they come of age
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by hiss(m): 8:10am On Jul 01, 2014
Any time u see say the guy dick don dey erect..he should be taking decisions on his own and anytime the girl begin dey wear bra and to dey close door while taking her bath she is good to go.my 50cent
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by adexsimply(m): 8:12am On Jul 01, 2014
DesChyko: There should be no specific age for this. I feel it should depend on some factors like:
1. How the parents want the child to blend into the society.
2. How the teenager reacts to orders and control.
3. The environment they live in.
4. The abilities of the child in question...and a host of others.
So, it is not just easy to ring a bell, DING, and let the child take decisions himself or herself.
Rather, it is a step by step decision, influenced by certain dispositions.
I may agree with you if not for your first point. Parents shouldn't be the ones to determine how their children blend into the society. That sounds like planning their futures for them

1 Like

Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by adexsimply(m): 8:15am On Jul 01, 2014
Innodon: 21 I think
oh really? I'm thinking 40.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by adexsimply(m): 8:19am On Jul 01, 2014
kendrick93: u also hav to consider this africa nt europe..and maturity isn't all abt age. its d mind
so a child of 18 might be more mature dan a 21yr old child.it depends really.
for me dey should be able to make decisions only when u sure dey are matured in d brain.its nt all abt age
what's the difference between an African and European child?
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Amhappy(f): 8:20am On Jul 01, 2014
It depends on the type of decision. They shouldnt take very important life decisions till they are adults. At 12-14 my child should pick his/her clothes i will only approve but i choose the school to attend. They choose their friends but i have to know them. As they grow older,i will guide them to make decisions but will put my feet down if my child is making an obvious wrong call.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Atmmachine(m): 8:23am On Jul 01, 2014
When they are old enough to control their sexual activities
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by iceberylin(m): 8:26am On Jul 01, 2014
16 - 17 yrs
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by DesChyko: 8:28am On Jul 01, 2014
adexsimply: ..Parents shouldn't be the one to determine how their children blend into the society. That sounds like planning their futures for them..

Probably sounds so, but it is virtually impossible for a parent not to make plans for his/her child, or have visions either.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Reference(m): 8:35am On Jul 01, 2014
Its like an account you draw from. It depends on what you put into that child growing. If you put nothing you can't expect anything out and its better you keep such locked up so as not to become a problem to yourself and society. Its all about the quality of parenting.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by rattlesnake(m): 8:37am On Jul 01, 2014
After their first pregnancy
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by slowride(f): 8:37am On Jul 01, 2014
Herodion: 12
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by skillet(m): 8:37am On Jul 01, 2014
Lolzzz. Thank God that at least "i used to be reasonable". Truth is, if they make the decisions before you show them the pros and cons, they will make a lot of mistakes and learn the hard way. Most teenagers are extremists because it the formative years of their adulthood. So letting them decide important issues means letting hormones and instincts decide.

LordVoldemort:

Wasn't expecting this from you, you use to ne reasonable.....cos your parent bully you to do everything they want and cos they pay ur bills doesn't it mean they made the best decision u.

A good parent don't make decision for his kid, he let him makes his decision and show him the pros and cons of his decision, parentz should be more of a guide.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by LordVoldemort(m): 8:44am On Jul 01, 2014
skillet: Lolzzz. Thank God that at least "i used to be reasonable". Truth is, if they make the decisions before you show them the pros and cons, they will make a lot of mistakes and learn the hard way. Most teenagers are extremists because it the formative years of their adulthood. So letting them decide important issues means letting hormones and instincts decide.


Y will you let dem make the decision be4 showing them the pros and cons.....
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Reference(m): 8:47am On Jul 01, 2014
Amhappy: It depends on the type of decision. They shouldnt take very important life decisions till they are adults. At 12-14 my child should pick his/her clothes i will only approve but i choose the school to attend. They choose their friends but i have to know them. As they grow older,i will guide them to make decisions but will put my feet down if my child is making an obvious wrong call.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by ayorwizz(m): 8:55am On Jul 01, 2014
I believe a teenager, as soon as he/she hits the mid-teen age, say 15, can definitely distinguish btw a right and wrong decision. Teenagers at such age would know if wot he/she is doing or about to do would affect either positively or negatively, the only thing parents should be concerned about is how to curb dem from giving in to peer pressure and not forcing decisions on them.
Mostly, kids that are controlled too much by their parents tend to explore to the extreme, any little form of freedom they get..which in most tyms end up badly
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Nobody: 9:03am On Jul 01, 2014
xynerise: ^@First Paragraph. Is 18years the specified age to let them make thier own decisions?

@Second paragraph. Are you saying teens should be allowed to go places they wish without knowing the kind of friends they keep?


I wonder o!

I think a child should be allowed to make decisions only when he/she shows a sign of real maturity i.e can make good decisions. If at 27 ur child cant make good decitions then u must as a good parent influence his/her decision. Mind u age is a number
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by skillet(m): 9:08am On Jul 01, 2014
I shuld be askin u dat. Read ur posts again and u will see where u said parents are just guides.

$
LordVoldemort:

Y will you let dem make the decision be4 showing them the pros and cons.....

1 Like

Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Olusanya333(m): 9:16am On Jul 01, 2014
.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Jerryjat(m): 9:18am On Jul 01, 2014
When some element of Maturity is Spotted...
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by NewsINigeria(m): 9:24am On Jul 01, 2014
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Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Nobody: 9:26am On Jul 01, 2014
xynerise: The teenage stage is the most sensitive stage of a human and should be handled with care. At the same time, we should not be over-protective on them(teens). I guess there is a particular period they should make decision for themselves, like when it comes to sex, dating and career. When do you think is the best time to allow them make decisions for themselves? I guess this has nothing to do with the age restriction, i.e 18years? Does it?

it's matter guiding them. That's why communication is imperative. You talk to them and make them feel very much comfortable around you like they would around their friends. That way, they can communicate their inner self freely and when you where they are making decisions that could harm them, you give them a concrete reason WHY it is wrong, make them see the picture in action and that way, they can agree with you.

It just like trying to be amicable persuasive in your approach.

Don't tell them something is wrong, tell them WHY it is wrong.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by ayobase(m): 10:00am On Jul 01, 2014
he/she should be allowed when acting maturely and wisely, and with act of obedience.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by defendedvictim(m): 10:02am On Jul 01, 2014
yinkard4me: Africa? How can africa win d WC wen oyinbo have
packed all our players leaving mikel and yakubu for
us. They took zidane(algeria) ,viera(senegal). Dat
wasnt enof?They took alaba(Nigeria), govou(benin),
nani and larsson(capeverde), benzema and nasri
(algeria), khedira and ben arfa(tunisia), pogba
(guinea). D one dat pains me most is in belgium
where half of their starting eleven are africans.
Dembele(mali),lukaku, kompany and benteke
(congo), chadli(morocco) . How can we win d
worldCup abeg?Which other player have africa lost
to oyinbo? Because we are going to start
a #bringbackourboys protest
bros, wat has dis got to do with d topic at hand?
@op, a teenager Shud b allowed to make his/her decisions, but ideally, if parents create a 'friendship' with Dia kids, d kids wil always b open to talk to dem n let dem knw Dia plans. in dat way, d parent's advice n influence wud b far more helpful
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Nobody: 10:51am On Jul 01, 2014
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Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by Nobody: 11:19am On Jul 01, 2014
Age is no longer an issue! I think parents should operate a good communication links with their kids. You never can tell what they have been learning on their own.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by seunpayne(m): 11:27am On Jul 01, 2014
To each his own. A teenager isn't allowed to make ANY decisions. He or she is allowed and free to offer their views and opinion on any and every issue that relates to them and I as a parent by God's grace will try to be as open minded as is righteously possible but I and my Wife and ONLY us make the decisions. It won't be an issue because my Children would grow up knowing that I love them and only want the best for them and thus be confident that they are free to tell me how they feel and that I will make a choice that would be beneficial for them.

Too much freedom kills. Most habits formed, especially the bad ones are developed in the teenage years. God help us with wisdom and bless us with good children.


EDIT: When I say ANY decisions I mean the big ones. Communication is good and fine but a child is a child. The western world would have us believe different but I still believe the biggest value you can give your child is respect. For you, their elders and themselves. Once that is there any decision the child makes won't be an issue because out of RESPECT they will let you know before or as soon as they make it and with time you will trust them to be fine when they go out.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by enochogaga(m): 11:31am On Jul 01, 2014
Tanks for this tread.First what we must think,every child or teen if is giving the chance to take his or her own dicision watch at their dicision.
Their dicision is alwalys a dicision that will make them comfortable. (1) sleeping when is time work
(2) like to have fun that will make them cry later
(3) like to live as if all depend on today and so many
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by UuzbaGuuzba: 11:33am On Jul 01, 2014
When they stop being teenagers. Exactly age 20!
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by felifeli: 11:57am On Jul 01, 2014
xynerise: The teenage stage is the most sensitive stage of a human and should be handled with care. At the same time, we should not be over-protective on them(teens). I guess there is a particular period they should make decision for themselves, like when it comes to sex, dating and career. When do you think is the best time to allow them make decisions for themselves? I guess this has nothing to do with the age restriction, i.e 18years? Does it?

Teenagers should start making their own decisions when they start paying their own bills .... accommodation, food , clothes, school, phone cards etc. It is that simple.
Re: When Should Parents Let Teenagers Make Their Own Decisions? by LordVoldemort(m): 11:57am On Jul 01, 2014
skillet: I shuld be askin u dat. Read ur posts again and u will see where u said parents are just guides.

$

Guides in making decision and not after

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