cKaiser: ^^ Its on record that black women are the ones with the highest rate on broken down families or non existing family structure.

The aggression of a black woman both at the family front and at the work place has made them tagged "Angry black women"

Hardly do you hear an Asian woman yelling about feminism but its blacks who take it on their head and feminism is anti-traditional family.

Most feminist dont even believe they should be under any man's roof like this CEO, playing wife and daughter-in-law

BTW those who operate in the traditional family setup of man and wife still have a significantly higher chance of success

crackhaus:
It is his prerogative.
If he wants to do it, fine...and if he doesn't, nothing wrong. That's the reality of it, regardless of having a joint account.

Blessed be the woman married to him

And yes marriage is a partnership, no one is disputing that...but if sharing every single responsibility is your definition of partnership, then I'm sorry but you're wrong. Partnership is understanding what works for everyone involved and knowing when to adjust, it is not about sharing responsibilities equally right down the middle in 50/50 fashion.
Even with this joint account arrangement, it still may not be an exact 50/50 thing because if for instance the man earns 200k and his wife earns 150k, they won't contribute the exact same amount monthly...this is why I said nothing is ideal in this world, to believe otherwise is paramount to delusion.

Nobody has talked of sharing every single responsibility 50/50 at least, I have not . Even in a home that both do chores, a correct husband/wife will not wait for doing what he/she can do. I doubt a wife will wait for the hubby to washing clothes or cooking; I doubt hubby will want for wifey before clearing the sink etc. Just how you think it's a man's prerogative to do chores, some men see it as a duty just how some women see it as their duty to finance the home

A man will still do those chores his wife is incapable of doing like changing light bulbs, washing the cars, taking them for servicing, changing the oil in the generator, servicing the generator if he can, fixing broken fixture and furniture around the house, changing tires, plumbing, etc.... I really could go on and on... Basically, the husband is the first handyman on site; he is the electrician, the plumber, the mechanic, the contractor, the painter, the carpenter...Honestly, I could go on and on again.
But does a woman who believes in sharing responsibilities equally extend it to include all of this? The answer is NO, why? because women already believe it is the man's job and yet the man is crucified for restricting his involvement in kitchen duty.

Most people contract these jobs out and yea the wifey also carries pregnancy, breastfeed the babies etc. if you want do go that route

Like you said about knowing the person before you marry them, this is true but still it's not an absolute solution...people wake up with different feelings everyday and you can't possibly expect or think anyone is incapable of changing.

I hope the wife is allowed to change too

crackhaus: Lorretta, with the way you made that response, I can't quote it easily and I don't want to be copying and pasting your individual responses.
I'll just deal with it as best I can:

1. It may be happening but it's not common, hence you can't say MANY.

2. I threw you that bone on 'only men with lesser income' and you rightly jumped on it to make your point.
Again, such men with lesser pay do not come out openly to complain of such...ego won't allow it, and some don't need to complain because they already their wife will take care of it.

3. Wrong! unless they already have an agreement that says she also contributes, most men would not even bring the topic up, much more complain about it.

4. Marrying an independent woman is about having a woman that can take care of her 'personal' needs/responsibilities without informing the man or asking all the time...it is not about her giving the man money.
I think now you're just grasping at straws, cos everyone knows this.

5. Everyone wants to eat their cake and have it, but with women it's far worse. Y'all want to eat your cake, have it back intact, still eat it again, enjoy it and wash it down with expensive wine, then still have it back again intact.
It's a loop/cycle with you women...

6. Answer same as number 4.

7. If she initially agreed to contribute, how is this a problem then if he has to remind her that she should pay up soon? Afterall she agreed to that in the first place.
See what I said about women still needing the queen treatment when she already gets help in other areas.

8. Women who don't want to spend a dime in their marriages even after the husband fulfilled and paid all the necessary cash on her head, should not complain when that husband acts like he owns them. Simple logic.

9. I like your safe answers in your last response...but still, you haven't answered directly because it will undermine a lot.

cKaiser: Thats why all these black women who just pick up feminism by the roadside and carry it on their head just make me laugh

All other successful races have their women playing their roles as mothers wifes and still progressing in their career

But a black woman by the time she gets a small 9-5 job at McDonalds, No one would hear any word again, Its Im a strong black woman, my husband should be washing the ground i step on

A woman a whole CEO of Pepsico still plays her wifely and motherly duties without complaining but if na all these black women na all the world for don hear. Na to first chase the husband comot because he is probably not making as much as her then harass everyone even her drivers, juniors and cook on how much she makes and how she is strong and independent like say na only dem

cococandy:
Thanks for explaining what independent woman means according to your view.
I just don't know if other men will agree with you on that one.
My answers were not meant to be 'safe' per se.
Just realistic. Will she beat the man if he refuses to do house work? Of course not.
So those are possible solutions unless she wants divorce which is very unwarranted in such a case

Did you type that number 8 or someone else did? First it's her prerogative.
Now she shouldn't complain if he treats her like he owns her (slave) because of it?
You've lost me.
Come again.

crackhaus:
I believe we were past that prerogative part, it was in reference to having a woman pay the bills (light, refuse, etc)

As for the emboldened, what happens when the man still doesn't yield to any of your possible solutions?
At least, you're starting to understand that it's the woman that should compromise on does house hold chores and not the man.

cococandy:
Of course it is the traditional role of a woman. So she'll be the one to compromise here.
when you want something,you compromise. Just like the man has to compromise if the woman isn't forth coming with finances. I'm talking about people who really want to be together. They will always strive to meet each other halfway.
If the man refuses to yield to possible solutions?
Let's see:
He refuses to take up more financial responsibility so that the wife can stay home more often and take care of home and kids?
He refuses to get a house keeper that will do such stuff so that they can both concentrate on making the dough?
He refuses to live with the filth that accrues from his decisions?
That doesn't sound sane. At all.
Who will want to live with such a man?

crackhaus:
Finally @emboldened, we are at an accord. That has been my pivot for this whole argument and I'm surprised you didn't notice it earlier or say that part earlier...you could have saved me the stress of typing long epistles.

As for the remaining parts of your post, they do not pertain to this topic and thus is beside the point...you trying to tie two different knots with the one situation here first sake of argument.

cococandy: You can meander sha
You asked a question I answered and now it's not relevant to the topic.
Ok bye

crackhaus: Bukatyne, your response is noted.

Now one question with regards to a sentence you made about coming back home to meeting your husband without any food prepared for you.

Question is:
What is left for a woman to do when she arrives home, meets her husband in bed or watching some TV program because he has not eaten and was waiting for the wife to get back. What is this woman to do?

Note:
This is not the first time it's happening, neither will it be the last.

bukatyne:

As per the note, they would have over communicated; she could cook when she can and register it at the back of her mind that her hubby doesnot love her

But as they say, love is not all that makes a marriage work

Gboliwe: Smart and intelligent woman.
Your thread title is in error sha, nobody, I mean, no single person, has it all. Its not about being a career person or a full time home wife.

sauer: She apparently has a good support system in place. Plus an understanding husband.

As far as I can tell, the best gift a career woman can ever have is an understanding husband. Any other thing is secondary.

crackhaus:
The question came before the 'foot note', answer that first.

But hold up, you trying to say that a man who does not prepare something for his wife because he got home first, doesn't love her?

Still answer the question regarding that scenario though.

bukatyne:
As per the note, they would have over communicated; she could cook when she can and register it at the back of her mind that her hubby doesnot love her
But as they say, love is not all that makes a marriage work

Seun: She's right. No pain, no gain. Even men can't have it all: most of my male role-models were abysmal fathers; they had no time for their children.

Bigsteveg:

What a wonderful story, u see..money is not everything, dat is y in africa (nigeria especially) the kids are more closer to the mother who spends much time with them even with the fact dat the dad might be the one paying their school fees @ harvard. Parenting isn't easy. May the lord help us all not to fail in dat aspect.

pickabeau1:

armyofone: you dey laugh eh?

black women have come a long way. The cotton wool finally fell off.



by the way, i am making a long list and fiance will read, discuss and then we sign and seal.

Godmystrength:



MEN, I SHAKE YANSH FOR ALL OF UNA

pickabeau1:
Pics of u shaking your yansh or ADONBILIVIT

Godmystrength: You want to see shaking yansh this morning abi..... okay o. @ the part in bold, i might be shaking another person's yansh now.

pickabeau1:

Why not.. na u talk am say u dey shake am for men naaaa

fresh_dude: If I footed all the bills and had a full-time housewife, I'd expect her to know that she'd be fully responsible for keeping the home. She's a homemaker for Bleep's sake. If she complains, not requests for help, she's coming with me to work to help me in my office duties. Then I will fairly help her with her household chores. She better learn how to change tyres and climb into the roof too, since that would be her way of showing and proving her love to me.
Smh for nairaland and ridiculous notions. On nairaland these days, standing your ground=female slavery. A good husband is one who allows his wife do anything she wants and doesn't refuse her anything she desires? Nah, I'll pass.

Godmystrength: are you one of the ''men''?

Godmystrength: NO. A good husband is one who loves his wife like himself.