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Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? - Family - Nairaland

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Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by swagloverss(f): 11:44am On Jul 05, 2014
If a man tells woman to get an abortion and she refuses, why should he be forced to pay child support?

For instance, a man impregnated a woman and decides that he is not mentally, physically or financially able to support a child and tells the mother to go get an abortion and the woman refuses, why should the man have to pay child support?.

I mean if a woman decides to keep the baby, that's her decision, not the man's. The man made it clear that he didn't want the child then why should he have to take care of the child since it was the woman who wanted to keep it and not him?

16 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by pickabeau1: 11:50am On Jul 05, 2014
hmmm... tough q... but abortion while it can really be convenient and can clear a lot of issues is not as easy as it sounds
It causes untold trauma and can be damaging to the womb

Use protection to avoid problem or better still have sex within a committed relationship or wait till marriage

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by lilmax(m): 11:52am On Jul 05, 2014
wow

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 11:56am On Jul 05, 2014
No, they shouldn't. Whoever chose to have the baby should be responsible for its upkeep. Why even wait for an abortion, there are all sorts of birth control techniques available to man. As early as day1, the need for an abortion should be ruled out.

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by coogar: 12:01pm On Jul 05, 2014
it's one of the biggest frauds perpetrated by feminism in the 21st century. women don't demand child support when they go to spërm banks, why should men who have clearly stated they don't want a child be forced to pay child support for 18 years?

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Tallesty1(m): 12:03pm On Jul 05, 2014
What are you even saying? If you are bold enough to fvck and impregnate a gal then you must also be strong and brave enough to stand up and be a father. Stop denying your responsibilities.

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by pickabeau1: 12:04pm On Jul 05, 2014
coogar: it's one of the biggest frauds perpetrated by feminism in the 21st century. women don't demand child support when they go to spërm banks, why should men who have clearly stated they don't want a child be forced to pay child support for 18 years?

fresh_dude: No, they shouldn't. Whoever chose to have the baby should be responsible for its upkeep. Why even wait for an abortion, there are all sorts of birth control techniques available to man. As early as day1, the need for an abortion should be ruled out.


While you have some merits... men too should ensure the have iron clad protection

Too many kids born out of wedlock

Abortion is not childs play

Birth control has hormonal impacts on women

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:07pm On Jul 05, 2014
Understand that he's asked to provide upkeep/support for the child, not as a gratutious favour to the woman, but simply cos the innocent party-- the child-- should not be made to pay for their indiscretion.

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Meestique: 12:09pm On Jul 05, 2014
What's a man who's not mentally, physically nd financially able to support a child doing impregnating a woman?

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:10pm On Jul 05, 2014
It doesn't have to get to abortion, if a man doesn't want a child, he should use protection or do coitus interruptus.. If as e be, something come lead to something, him come do without protection, there are several birth control pills availaible, the woman should use them... If she talk say she no dey use birth control pill and pikin com come nd she insists on carrying the baby... She should take care of it herself by herself for herself... Note: the woman also owe it as a duty to herself not to allow the man sleep with her without a condom, she can also use female condoms too, I have heard of those... Have you ever seen real prostitutes get pregnant?

11 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:11pm On Jul 05, 2014
Ezeed: Understand that he's asked to provide upkeep/support for the child, not as a gratutious favour to the woman, but simply cos the innocent party-- the child-- should not be made to pay for their indiscretion.
. Her indiscretion, u mean....
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by coogar: 12:12pm On Jul 05, 2014
Tallesty1: What are you even saying? If you are bold enough to fvck and impregnate a gal then you must also be strong and brave enough to stand up and be a father. Stop denying your responsibilities.

if you are bold enough to enter into a car, you must also be strong and brave enough to withstand automobile accident.

it's this kind of thinking that has screwed the world. in consenting to sex, neither a man nor a woman gives consent to become a parent. if the woman now decides to leave the baby when the man has clearly told her he doesn't want a child, then she should shoulder all the responsibilities for that child.


pickabeau1:
While you have some merits... men too should ensure the have iron clad protection
Too many kids born out of wedlock
Abortion is not childs play
Birth control has hormonal impacts on women

what iron clad protection?
do condoms not leak? what other choice does a man have if his condom leaks? feminism have long held that women should not be punished for being sëxually active by taking away their options when an accidental pregnancy occurs. why then do our policies now aim to punish and shame men for their sexuäl promïscuity?

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by coogar: 12:17pm On Jul 05, 2014
Ezeed: Understand that he's asked to provide upkeep/support for the child, not as a gratutious favour to the woman, but simply cos the innocent party-- the child-- should not be made to pay for their indiscretion.

who gets to spend the money? the child or the mother? in some of the cases, the paying father never even gets to see the child & the child support money is calculated based on the man's income. how is this fair to the men?

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:26pm On Jul 05, 2014
Tallesty1: What are you even saying? If you are bold enough to fvck and impregnate a gal then you must also be strong and brave enough to stand up and be a father. Stop denying your responsibilities.
you need to read the OP 17 more times before your next comment.

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:28pm On Jul 05, 2014
Tallesty1: What are you even saying? If you are bold enough to fvck and impregnate a gal then you must also be strong and brave enough to stand up and be a father. Stop denying your responsibilities.

The only sensible comment in this thread. For every action there is a result. Be prepared for the result. If you are wise, stay away from the action. You know fully well you aint ready for responsibilities, why put yourself into it?

27 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:29pm On Jul 05, 2014
pickabeau1:




While you have some merits... men too should ensure the have iron clad protection

Too many kids born out of wedlock

Abortion is not childs play

Birth control has hormonal impacts on women


That's besides the point hombre. Should I be forced to cater for a child I don't/didn't want, especially if I expressly made my desires known?
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by egopersonified(f): 12:29pm On Jul 05, 2014
If he doesnt want the child, he sure can go to blazes, but dont come back years later or when the child is successful claimin paternity, just know that the day u reject that child, s/he should be dead to you, and dont go about boasting of having a baby and keeping pictures in your phone, showing off to people for a child you dont know if he ate the night before. I rest my case.

52 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by pickabeau1: 12:30pm On Jul 05, 2014
coogar:

what iron clad protection?
do condoms not leak? what other choice does a man have if his condom leaks? feminism have long held that women should not be punished for being sëxually active by taking away their options when an accidental pregnancy occurs. why then do our policies now aim to punish and shame men for their sexuäl promïscuity?


You miss my point.. condoms are almost always foolproof... yes there are instances of mistakes... yes.. but not common

Should a man be responsible for his child... hell yes
That is what a man does

But i am not interested in a long debate on the merits and demerits of feminism vs paternity now
That is why i advocate for protection or avoidance of sex

6 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by pickabeau1: 12:31pm On Jul 05, 2014
fresh_dude: That's besides the point hombre. Should I be forced to cater for a child I don't/didn't want, especially if I expressly made my desires known?

So lets take your line of thought

You said u dont want the child
The woman is not ready to take the risk of abortion
What next?

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:32pm On Jul 05, 2014
Tallesty1: What are you even saying? If you are bold enough to fvck and impregnate a gal then you must also be strong and brave enough to stand up and be a father. Stop denying your responsibilities.

here!
I mean, it's simple logic.
you cannot make me do abortion if I don't want to, that is a decision I have to make on my own. The decision we both made, which is have consensual sex is what we should both deal with.

6 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:34pm On Jul 05, 2014
fresh_dude: That's besides the point hombre. Should I be forced to cater for a child I don't/didn't want, especially if I expressly made my desires known?


was this made known before the sex? If yes, you should have done everything on your own end to prevent it from happening. Unfortunately, that is not 100% possible, which means it's not even as simple as expressly making your desires known.
Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:37pm On Jul 05, 2014
njokusboy: It doesn't have to get to abortion, if a man doesn't want a child, he should use protection or do coitus interruptus.. If as e be, something come lead to something, him come do without protection, there are several birth control pills availaible, the woman should use them... If she talk say she no dey use birth control pill and pikin com come nd she insists on carrying the baby... She should take care of it herself by herself for herself... Note: the woman also owe it as a duty to herself not to allow the man sleep with her without a condom, she can also use female condoms too, I have heard of those... Have you ever seen real prostitutes get pregnant?

1 Like

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by thorpido(m): 12:38pm On Jul 05, 2014
In developed societies,the man should pay.Not for the sake of the mother but the child.
Both partners have responsibilities to prevent unwanted pregnancy.If however a pregnancy happens,then the man cannot absolve himself irrespective of if he told her to do something about it or not.

If the ink doesn't drop,the paper can't get stained.

The moment a man decides to sleep with a woman,he ought to realise he sets himself up for responsibilities beyond just the pleasure of the moment.
Contraceptives are not 100% effective.

14 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:41pm On Jul 05, 2014
alutacontinua:

here!
I mean, it's simple logic.
you cannot make me do abortion if I don't want to, that is a decision I have to make on my own. The decision we both made, which is have consensual sex is what we should both deal with.
Exactly

Why should a female be told to carry out an abortion when the males are the same people who condemn females for doing it and force their girlfriends to give birth before marriage can happen?

Its all common sense. s*e*x results to pregnancy. we cannot shy away from that no matter how we argue here from now till tomorrow. it seems these men who shy away from their responsibilities always forget pregnancy when conji is involved and expect babies should suddenly disappear after s*e*x. Ridiculous!! I am a huge advocate of men being forced to take responsibilities whether they like it or not. A very welcome development.

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:41pm On Jul 05, 2014
Sophyrocks:

The only sensible comment in this thread. For every action there is a result. Be prepared for the result. If you are wise, stay away from the action. You know fully well you aint ready for responsibilities, why put yourself into it?
. Isn't this akin to saying we should expect to get drowned anytime we go fishing even if we take all precautions.... I see how sensible ur opinion is?

2 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:41pm On Jul 05, 2014
njokusboy: It doesn't have to get to abortion, if a man doesn't want a child, he should use protection or do coitus interruptus.. If as e be, something come lead to something, him come do without protection, there are several birth control pills availaible, the woman should use them... If she talk say she no dey use birth control pill and pikin com come nd she insists on carrying the baby... She should take care of it herself by herself for herself... Note: the woman also owe it as a duty to herself not to allow the man sleep with her without a condom, she can also use female condoms too, I have heard of those... Have you ever seen real prostitutes get pregnant?

Bull shit!
the only thing she consented to was sex, not your dictations of what to do with her body. If she chooses to clean up your mess (and I mean both of you), excellente! If she decides not to go through that much risk to clean up your mess, you just have to deal with it!


it's just like saying you know the 2 of you have messed up but now, she should bear all the risks associated with cleaning up. LAILAI! It doesn't work that way.....if you're man enough to get an erection followed by an ejaculation, be man enough to father a baby!

thanks!

16 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:42pm On Jul 05, 2014
alutacontinua:


was this made known before the sex? If yes, you should have done everything on your own end to prevent it from happening. Unfortunately, that is not 100% possible, which means it's not even as simple as expressly making your desires known.


Which is why there are pills to take when accidents like condom breaks occur. Or a diaphragm or the million other ways with which a conception/pregnancy can be prevented.
Again, OP is actually about a woman who has "chosen" to go ahead and have a baby despite protests from her lover. It would be very unfair to mandate such a man to be responsible for the child's upkeep. wink

How are you btw.

1 Like

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Tannie(f): 12:43pm On Jul 05, 2014
fresh_dude: That's besides the point hombre. Should I be forced to cater for a child I don't/didn't want, especially if I expressly made my desires known?

If you don't want a child, then abstain from sex or use protection.

9 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:43pm On Jul 05, 2014
njokusboy: . Isn't this akin to saying we should expect to get drowned anytime we go fishing even if we take all precautions.... I see how sensible ur opinion is?

it's a possibility.....one that a sensible fisherman would be careful to avoid, if it however happens, we cannot expect the fishes to rescue the fisherman, would we?

5 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Tallesty1(m): 12:46pm On Jul 05, 2014
fresh_dude: you need to read the OP 17 more times before your next comment.
The OP and whatever reason he is giving make sense only to those that support abortion and I don't. Why on earth should he tell her to abort the seed he willingly deposited in her. Do you know the risks involved. It is a near death experience so use a condom if yhu know you are not ready for child or better still abstain completly. It is not an online store where you can pre-oder and cancell your order anytime you want.

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Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:47pm On Jul 05, 2014
njokusboy: . Isn't this akin to saying we should expect to get drowned anytime we go fishing even if we take all precautions.... I see how sensible ur opinion is?
Bro, whether you like it or not, s*e*x results to pregnancy. If all options employed to prevent pregnancy fails, of which we are all aware that they all fail in many instances, then as a man who took an action MUST be ready for the consequences. As a sensible man, you MUST be ready to accept that pregnancy is inevitable!!!

8 Likes

Re: Should Men Be Forced To Pay For Kids They Didn't Want? by Nobody: 12:48pm On Jul 05, 2014
fresh_dude: Which is why there are pills to take when accidents like condom breaks occur. Or a diaphragm or the million other ways with which a conception/pregnancy can be prevented.
Again, OP is actually about a woman who has "chosen" to go ahead and have a baby despite protests from her lover. It would be very unfair to mandate such a man to be responsible for the child's upkeep. wink

How are you btw.

exactly my point!
a man that doesn't want the baby should protect HIMSELF BY HIMSELF!
you don't have the right to tell another person what to do with their body just because you had sex.

if I wanna have sex with a guy and he insists on no protection, I cannot force a condom on him, can I? I either walk away or protect myself. Unfortunately, nature hasn't given you guys the luxury of what happens after the baby is deposited, your best bet is to prevent the deposition in the first place. After that, you have no say again than to accept what follows.



I'm fine, sweets!
you?

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