Harmvirus:
No, I didn't say it was

So why do you emphasise that it is a woman's primary role when it is also the father's?

carefreewannabe:

When I say freedom, I mean that the couple decides for themselves and not the society.
Saying that a man is not man enough if he takes some time off to take cre of his children is intolerant.
Saying that a mother is not good mother when she has a career is intolerant.

Let people / families do what is in their best interest.

Well to me I believe the major reason the society is getting worse is because of this "whatever rocks tour boat" mantra, people just think up anything they like and act it and then throw up the "it's my business " card when others frown at their actions.

Failure at home is what has turned the society upside down.and I don't share your views. the world we are today is a world where selfishness and greed take the center circle and people no longer care about the overall effect of their actions. wayward kids from dysfunctional homes where "anything goes" are tearing the society apart and I think "anything goes should not be encouraged in a family setting.

Fathers should know their roles and mothers should know theirs too, trying to flip this around is not healthy and won't be healthy no matter what.

kids are now growing up with no idea of what roles and responsibilities stand for.

Whether you like it or not, the main role of a man remains to gather and that of the woman to manage what has been gathered. this model remains the best model for every home who actually likes orderliness.

honeric01:

Well to me I believe the major reason the society is getting worse is because of this "whatever rocks tour boat" mantra, people just think up anything they like and then act it and then throw up the "it's my business " card when others frown at their actions.

Failure at home is what has turned the society upside down.and I don't share your views. the world we are today is a world where selfishness and greed take the center circle and people no longer care about the overall effect of their actions. wayward kids from dysfunctional homes where "anything goes" are tearing the society apart and I think "anything goes should not be encouraged in a family setting.

Fathers should know their roles and mothers should know theirs too, trying to flip this around is not healthy and won't be healthy no matter what.

kids are now growing up with no idea of what roles and responsibilities are.

Whether you like it or not, the main role of a man remains to gather and that of the woman to manage what has been gathered. this model remains the best model for every home who actually likes orderliness.

According to you Nigerian kids should be the best in the world then.

Anyway, you are free to have it your way in your own home. You will find PLENTY OF ladies who like it this way.

carefreewannabe:

According to you Nigerian kids should be the best in the world then.

Anyway, you are free to have it your way in your own home. You will find PLENTY OF ladies who like it this way.

Your username....are you a care-free-wannabe?

kaboninc:

Your username....are you a care-free-wannabe?

There is a story behind this name.

carefreewannabe:

There is a story behind this name.

Tell me. I have a very good listening skill.

kaboninc:

Tell me. I have a very good listening skill.

I was dreaming of carefreeness when a loved one was sick. This is when I created the account and came up with the name. Times were tough back then, now everything is ok again.

Tannie:

I've seen women leave theiir house by 6am and return by 9pm but I'm not against it, whatever rocks their boat. But I don't want to be that kind of mother, I believe I've come this far in life because my mum was there for my siblings and I (she's a teacher) and I want to be there for my kids.
N/B I'm a career woman but I will glady make amends for my family till my children comes of age.

Another kind of my lady!

honeric01:

Then she can as well look for a job that won't make her return home by 9-10pm, if truly she wants to spend more time with her family, if not, then she's as guilty as the one deliberately working late. (Which woman works late deliberately to be truthful?)

Trust me, when I started working I knew it was not black & white

Every average man & woman especially a married one wants a well paying job with half work hours and twice the pay (My dream job ). Alas, reality is different. Even Oil companies that close early resume by 7am (Do you know the time one has to leave for work?)

We all have to learn to balance well.

And yes, some women work late/take up extra tasks to look efficient.

Sorry about the promotion (I know it can be painful)

I have a very rich imagination/melancoly so I have this idea that if I work /get home ling hours, my weekends would be fixed for family, I will pass up extra stuffs that are not necessary for the job but will aid promotion, I will work smart and remember that work never ends so will learn to let go daily of what I can't control etc.

Hubby is already doing what he can

It is well

damiso:

Some sort of sacrifice (either way for career or family ) is made when you have kids so to think otherwise is just not being realistic . And yeah most times the mothers tend to be the ones who make the sacrifice.Its not just a Nigerian or African reality.Its a reality for mothers the world over. That's why mothers tend to be the ones who work from home, work part time, work compressed hours, job share etc.

I got passed over for promotion as I was unable to travel at the drop of a hat (and thats even within the UK) which was a sacrifice on my part.We can say my husband could have picked up the slack but we had a routine where he dropped my daughter off as he worked nearer home and could resume after 9.I picked her up as I could go in earlier and leave early (half 3 /4) and pick her up play with her abit cook dinner and tuck her into bed as i left home most times before she woke up.So if I had to be travelling to Hull, Manchester with just a day's notice (clients are king in the business world) who would pick up my daughter from nursery?Is it the same husband that had already negotiated coming in later so he could close later?

I was initially pained but I later said to myself tucking my daughter into bed myself after leaving home most times before she woke up is enough promotion for me.

Like someone else has said its not black and white but truly having kids MIGHT mean you slowing down a bit till an effective rhythm is found that works for your family.

Motixsis: This is the typical mindset of an ignorant man who suffers from nothing more than insecurity.

A man who wants his wife to spend time with him & kids is not insecure

carefreewannabe:

So why do you emphasise that it is a woman's primary role when it is also the father's?

Thank You!.

bukatyne:

A man who wants his wife to spend time with him & kids is not insecure

Pls...Kindly read the WHOLE writeup... You're welcome.

Motixsis:


Pls...Kindly read the WHOLE writeup... You're welcome.

I have but I was responding to your post because it was general

I have commented on the OP previously

carefreewannabe:

So why do you emphasise that it is a woman's primary role when it is also the father's?

Because women are good at it . No matter how caring a father can be he can't fill that void that is left when the mother is not there which is part of the reason most widowers remarry

Harmvirus:

Because women are good at it . No matter how caring a father can be he can't fill that void that is left when the mother is not there which is part of the reason most widowers remarry

No matter how caring a mother is she cannot replace a loving father.

Widowers remarry because this is what society expects of them whereas people think differently of a widow who wants to remarry.

carefreewannabe:

I am asking because I am pretty sure that we have different things in mind. Why are you runnng away from my question?

at dis juncture, i'll lyk 2 hang my boot. U cannot learn.

Motixsis:

Thank You!.

You are welcome

carefreewannabe:

Demanding career is not defined by working hours. A doctor may be away from home for up to four days and sleep in the hospital and then have three free days.

A school principle could be at school from 8 am till 5 pm.

A CEO could have fixed times like from 8 am till 1 pm and then be asked to organise the rest of the working time all by himself / herself.

You know very little.

dat's ur problem, u think u knw more dan odas. Is it ur brought up dat is faulty or u jst chose 2 grow wings as u're growing older? I'm sori bt u need a serious lecturing 4rm a mother. U're nt in d U.S

jhidey08: dat's ur problem, u think u knw more dan odas. Is it ur brought up dat is faulty or u jst chose 2 grow wings as u're growing older? I'm sori bt u need a serious lecturing 4rm a mother. U're nt in d U.S

I do know more than many others and I do know how to write proper English lil brother.

bukatyne:

Trust me, when I started working I knew it was not black & white

Every average man & woman especially a married one wants a well paying job with half work hours and twice the pay (My dream job ). Alas, reality is different. Even Oil companies that close early resume by 7am (Do you know the time one has to leave for work?)

We all have to learn to balance well.

And yes, some women work late/take up extra tasks to look efficient.

If life throws "you" a lemon, aren't "you" suppose to make lemonade outta it? is anyone putting a gun on any woman's head to work in places where "logistics" is bad? are there no women actually living and working on these "environment" who still have time for their kids? and what makes "you" think i don't know life is not white and black?

We can always find excuses for why we don't want to do what we ought to do when selfish and self-centered, we want to have it all and keep chasing shadows while the society keeps getting worse through decaying sense care, interpersonal relationship with our loved ones e.t.c.

Why should a woman take up any job that warrants her leaving home by 5:30 am and coming home by 9-10 pm when she's not the breadwinner?

If "you" think "you" have no choice but to take up jobs with this schedule, i would advice "you" don't get married at all so the country and the society at large won't be burdened with wayward kids from dysfunctional homes/homes without care, attention or role models.

Marriage and having kids should be reserved only to selfless people who are not greedy and self-centered.

carefreewannabe:

According to you Nigerian kids should be the best in the world then.

Anyway, you are free to have it your way in your own home. You will find PLENTY OF ladies who like it this way.

How did you arrive at this? and sorry, not every woman is into competition with men, majority of ladies believe this is how life and the home front should be.

honeric01:

How did you arrive at this? and sorry, not every woman is into competition with men, majority of ladies believe this is how life and the home front should be.

It is not about competition with men but even if it was, it would do a lot of good.

carefreewannabe:

It is not about competition with men but even if it was, it would do a lot of good.

At the detriment of the kids, the future and the society, worth it huh?

honeric01:

At the detriment of the kids, the future and the society, worth it huh?

As if the society as it is now was good, what are you talking about?

honeric01:

If life throws "you" a lemon, aren't "you" suppose to make lemonade outta it? is anyone putting a gun on any women's head to work in places where "logistics" is bad? are there no women actually living and working on these "environment" who still have time for their kids? and what makes "you" think i don't know life is not white and black?

We can always find excuses for why we don't want to do what we ought to do when selfish and self-centered, we want to have it all and keep chasing shadows while the society keeps getting worse through decaying sense care, interpersonal relationship with our loved ones e.t.c.

Why should a woman take up any job that warrants her leaving home by 5:30 am and coming home by 9-10 pm when she's not the breadwinner?

If "you" think "you" have no choice but to take up jobs with this schedule, i would advice "you" don't get married at all so the country and the society at large won't be burdened with wayward kids from dysfunctional homes/homes without care, attention or role models.

Marriage and having kids should be reserved only to selfless people who are not greedy and self-centered.

Bros,

This is not about me and don't make it so

You asked a question and I gave you a answer

When you see people with such arrangements, you can advice their husbands to divorce them and marry selfless wives

carefreewannabe:

I do know more than many others and I do know how to write proper English lil brother.

here we go again. U're part of d problem we av in dis country. Always looking 4 grammatical errors. Wot's d essence of language? To communicate ryt? And I didn't c any blunder in wot I posted up there. Carefreewannabe, wot r u? If I may ask. U don't even luk lyk sum1 who has work, u've been all over dis thread since ystrday. A career woman indeed!

bukatyne:

Bros,

This is not about me and don't make it so

You asked a question and I gave you a answer

When you see people with such arrangements, you can advice their husbands to divorce them and marry selfless wives

The "you" was not directed at you, hence the "", only for those who fit into the bracket or do you fit?

jhidey08: here we go again. U're part of d problem we av in dis country. Always looking 4 grammatical errors. Wot's d essence of language? To communicate ryt? And I didn't c any blunder in wot I posted up there. Carefreewannabe, wot r u? If I may ask. U don't even luk lyk sum1 who has work, u've been all over dis thread since ystrday. A career woman indeed!

A career woman who is on holiday and about to travel around beautiful Europe.

carefreewannabe:

As if the society as it is now was good, what are you talking about?

You are actually the one i should be asking what you are talking about. you said you wouldn't mind competing with men and it's worth it and i ask again, to what end?

carefreewannabe:

A career woman who is on holiday and about to travel around beautiful Europe.

congrats o, career woman.