I've allowed my mind to wonder into the territory of "What if he is not interested in older women?"

I've entertained fleeting thoughts of making love/getting married, but I'm so independent that I don't know if I'll make a good 'submissive' wife.  Knowing more about the world than he does, this would make it hard for me to accept any decisions that would affect my life.

Simple things like this I'm worried about - especially a love relationship

I've always found this situation to be quite interesting. you see, when we begin a love relationship, we see love as a choice. Ask anyone and they will usually acknowledge that at some point they made a decision to love. We tend to define love as more "verb" than "noun"

But when we begin to lose feelings, then we start to define love as more "noun" than "verb" Often at this point love is described more in terms of feelings rather than actions. And to make matters worse, we are passive in the sense that we act like we can't control our feelings. Love is gone, and we are but victims,

If love is a choice,revealed in actions. And it remains a choice everyday. When we fail to choose to love everyday we are choosing something negative for our relationship.

So a most meaningful and insightful way to tell a person might be this: I've decided that I no longer want to day dream about you"  "I have decided to tell you that I am falling in love with you"

I don't know, I guess I'll have to give it more time.  A lot more time.  Months -Years perhaps. It won't hurt, especially since I'm personally not interested in being a wife.  (but for him, I do daydream about it! lol!)  Crazy isn't it?

wassup read ur post 3 times and its still like cryptic

biolabee:

wassup read ur post 3 times and its still like cryptic

bio

Thanks for the laugh.  OMG, i laugh so hard its hurt.   I must admit that when I was writing this, the word "cryptic" came to mind  - its just funny that you brilliantly figured it out.  hats off to you    You see cryptic writing can seem dauntingly nonsensical at first glance but trust me the answers are right there.

what sentence(s) that was/were very cryptic and impossible to understand?  I'll try my best to answer you

Cayon:

I've allowed my mind to wonder into the territory of "What if he is not interested in older women?"

I've entertained fleeting thoughts of making love/getting married, but I'm so independent that I don't know if I'll make a good 'submissive' wife.  Knowing more about the world than he does, this would make it hard for me to accept any decisions that would affect my life.

Simple things like this I'm worried about - especially a love relationship

I've always found this situation to be quite interesting. you see, when we begin a love relationship, we see love as a choice. Ask anyone and they will usually acknowledge that at some point they made a decision to love. We tend to define love as more "verb" than "noun"

But when we begin to lose feelings, then we start to define love as more "noun" than "verb" Often at this point love is described more in terms of feelings rather than actions. And to make matters worse, we are passive in the sense that we act like we can't control our feelings. Love is gone, and we are but victims,

If love is a choice,revealed in actions. And it remains a choice everyday. When we fail to choose to love everyday we are choosing something negative for our relationship.

So a most meaningful and insightful way to tell a person might be this: I've decided that I no longer want to day dream about you"  "I have decided to tell you that I am falling in love with you"

I don't know, I guess I'll have to give it more time.  A lot more time.  Months -Years perhaps. It won't hurt, especially since I'm personally not interested in being a wife.  (but for him, I do daydream about it! lol!)  Crazy isn't it? 

So basically, you're dating a younger man, you love him and want to be with him but being a "wife" is not really appealing to you?

cayon

well well i think spiked hit on what was running thru my head,  ;D but i didnt wanna sound presumptous as i am still relatively new on NL.
is the person in the story not interested in being a wife at the expense of love which she has found now?
reminds me of pre Republican france where there were things like official mistresses who were more powerful than legit wifes(baby factories),

U however hit spot on Love is a choice as e dey hard for some days o

I omitted 5 words 

Peace

spikedcylinder:

So basically, you're dating a younger man, you love him and want to be with him but being a "wife" is not really appealing to you?

@ topic

Why don't you simply aspire to be a good wife?

Firstly, I'll never be a mistress or as they say a concubine.

the person in the story don't see marriage as a must in real life but funny she daydream being someone's wife   Maybe because she is so independent.  Oh yea, love is a choice.  Lets take arrange marriages/internet hook-up as an example -  they may begin without love, but they can produce it in their relationship.  This person who you will know is ready for the challenge of an intimate relationship can be anyone, really anyone at all.  I do not think that there are any two people who are simply incompatible by nature.  The incompatibilities come from not being ready yet for the commitment.  This will cause disaster even between two very compatible personalities.  The whole idea is that if both parties are willing and able to to work hard for the success of the relationship, no matter what, then it won't matter if they are compatible or not - they are going to make it work.  Maybe she just need the courage to say what's on her mind. Crazy isn't it?  

biolabee:

cayon

well well i think spiked hit on what was running through my head,  ;D but i didnt want to sound presumptous as i am still relatively new on NL.
is the person in the story not interested in being a wife at the expense of love which she has found now?
reminds me of pre Republican france where there were things like official mistresses who were more powerful than legit wifes(baby factories),

U however hit spot on Love is a choice as e dey hard for some days o

michelin89:

@ topic

Why don't you simply aspire to be a good wife?

I may have my own ideas of a good wife but how does a guy expect his wife to be? what would be the expectations?

Cayon:

Firstly, I'll never be a mistress or as they say a concubine.

the person in the story don't see marriage as a must in real life but funny she [/b]daydream being someone's wife   Maybe because [b]she is so independent.  Oh yea, love is a choice.  Lets take arrange marriages/internet hook-up as an example -  they may begin without love, but they can produce it in their relationship.  This person who you will know is ready for the challenge of an intimate relationship can be anyone, really anyone at all.  I do not think that there are any two people who are simply incompatible by nature.  The incompatibilities come from not being ready yet for the commitment.  This will cause disaster even between two very compatible personalities.  The whole idea is that if both parties are willing and able to to work hard for the success of the relationship, no matter what, then it won't matter if they are compatible or not - they are going to make it work.  Maybe she just need the courage to say what's on her mind. Crazy isn't it?  

She's a she?